I think this counts as a "business" category, right? Well screw you, it's my blog thing so I'll do what I want. Don't try and control me, you're not the boss of me! Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can come in here, boss me around and tell me what categories to use?! Well you're wrong, mister (or missus) and your attitude shocks and appauls me. Shame on you.

Right, now that's out of the way, I have one very important question: Why is weed so expensive in Japan? Have a look at this graph:

Now, we will get to the content of the graph later but let me begin by telling you the source for the information is the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC). I realize their job is to know what's goin in with drugs in the world but where do they get these figures? I they have agents who just chill in each of these countries finding all the dealers they can and averaging the price of the weed they buy? I like to think so. Or perhaps there is some kind of international drug currency market where you can trade currency pairs and their comparative values for profit? More on that story later.

The first things that strike you in this graph (cuz you're and idiot so you immedietly check who has the cheapest and most expensive weed, followed by how much it runs for before you call your dealer) is that weed is REALLY expensive in Japan. Also, you're quite surprised by the fact that they basically hand weed out in South Africa. how is there such a massive difference in price accross the gap from (what you can safely round to) $0 to almost $60? I mean I know exchange rates, security levels and even the size of a country might affect these prices but consider this: the penalty for smuggling drugs (yes, even weed) into Singapore is death! They f**king KILL you if they catch you and it's still cheaper than in Japan. What's goin on, Japan? I suggest some government regulatory body to keep your weed prices competitive or you're gonna fall even further behind..

So South Africa next.. Uh, what? Did someone forget to ask anyone in SA and put them on the graph anyway? Keep in mind that the first line is $5/g and it's NOWHERE near it, I'd say it's below 1 and cloaser to 0 than 1.. What the hell?! I mean I know South Africa is messed up but do they really give weed out for free? Is this some new initiative by the government to up their tourism numbers? Or are they trying to improve the morale of the starving kids?

Kid1: Dude.. Free weed?
Kid2: Schweeeeet!

Yeah, I'm goin to hell.

So this whole thing has left me pondering the global weed market. I have never smoked it myself, for many reasons, but do people really pay $60/g for weed in Japan? Is weed really free in South Africa? Could you make a living taking all South Africa's weed and selling it in Japan (or somewhere easier to get into, like New Zealand.. If you get stopped at customs, shine a torch on the floor and move it around, you'll fascinate the kiwis and they'll just keep saying "ey? doo dat agayin cuz! Wooooah, dud yu see it dat tyme bro? sick! Wait! Wut?! Where dat go cuz?!" etc) and, most importantly, how many 10g packets of dried parsley could I sell in Japan for $600 each before the Japanese mafia caught me and broke my thumbs?? I dont know the answer but even if it's 1, that's good enough for me, I'll just buy me and new TV and be on my merry little way.

So there you have it kids, I have been away for a while and I have not even become slightly rusty. Damn, I'm good. I have managed to crank out another ridiculously long, marginally senseless "blog" post that deals with issues that pertain in no way to your lives. Well, except jimbo cuz he's a student and Mac cuz she lives in Rickingham. Anyhoo, it's almost home time so, as the great philosopher, Nostradamus once said..

Later, b!tches.