Oh!

Oh!

Don't say anything! I know what you're all thinking!

WHERE CAN I GET SUCH AN AWESOME HAT?!

Where indeed my little munchkins, where indeed. See how he wears his hat - this is a man with superior hat-buying skillz. The 'z' is for ZOMG. Or he got his nan to knit it - in which case, holy rock star hot wheelz grandma!

Oh, but I digress. I also have an awesome hat - as evidenced recently on a Dolly Parton night out -

That's the hat of champions.

ANYWAY.

What the blistering hell is with this new layout?! Why does TV.com want me to turn the lights out? Why can't I bloody well find anything on here?

And:

Hello!

Godaaaamn, it's good to be back. Judging from the state of TV.com, I'm not back for good. It's looking a bit frayed round the edges this place, which is sad.

I just want to see who's still around and catch up in the comments.

My thanks go to Charlie and Mollete (miss that BM? ) for alerting me to the fact that people are knocking around here that I may want to exchange words with. Oh God, certain people I would like to exchange rocks with.

Most people, kind words. But of course

So...yeah. I'm alive, as can be evidenced by these written words on your great big telly box.

Yeah, but all that aside, I have changed. Those who remember my past forays into this blog know I was having a hard time back then. I can assure you that was the worst year of my life. It's thanks to you lot I got through it.

And now I'm graduated and doing a masters degree in design, I'm happier than I have been for a while and I have a boyfriend of six weeks (yeah yeah, but to me that's a long time) who looks like a keeper.

GOD HOW BORING IS THE HAPPINESS

Let's stop flipping well talking about me already, (hahaha I forgot that they censor words here) how the hell are YOU?! I mean, seriously? How ARE YOU?!

xxxx

Again I wrote a blog only to delete it. I was freaking out about the people who are leaving/thinking about leaving/pretty much left already.

Don't feel guilty or sad or angry. Feel grateful for these times.

This one is for you. I didn't write this, but it rang so true. Read it all, especially the end.

Again, love you guys. Don't make the comments about me, we've done that and I've loved everything you've said and everything about bridges that are impossible to burn. Thank you. You've given me my smile back.

Make the comments about us.

Fandom
Fandom is focus. Fandom is obsession. Fandom is insatiable consumption. Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap. Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime.

Fandom is people you don't tell your mother you're meeting. Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand. Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby.

Fandom is you in Germany and me in the US and him in Australia and her in Japan. Fandom is a sofabed in New York, a roadtrip to Oxnard, a friend behind a face in London. Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds. Fandom is conversation. Communication. Contact.

Fandom is drama. Fandom is melodrama. Fandom is high school. Fandom is Snacky's law and Godwin's law and Murphy's law. Fandom is smarter than you. Fandom is stupider than you. Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again. Fandom is the first time you've ever had them.

Fandom is female. Fandom is male. Fandom lets female play at being male. Fandom bends gender, straight, gay prude, promiscuous. Fandom is fantasy. Fandom doesn't care about norms or taboos or boundaries. Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries. Fandom is not real life. Fandom is closer than real life. Fandom knows what you're really like in the bedroom. Fandom is how you would never, could never be in the bedroom.

Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above. Fandom is love for characters you didn't create. Fandom is recreating the characters you didn't create. Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention. Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation. Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation. Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting.

Fandom is creating. Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love. Fandom is words, language, authoring. Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank concrit, feedback, recs. Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve. Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer.

Fandom is signal and response. Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter. Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak.

Fandom is distraction. Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account. Fandom gets no work done. Fandom is too much work. Fandom was/is just a phase. Fandom could never be just a phase. Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit. Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason.

Fandom is where you found yourself.

I don't know anyone here who can't relate to this.

Remember, the comments below should be for everyone.
I've said enough, I'm always going on about me

xxxx

I had a whole blog written out. Deleted it of course, got a bit too close to the bone. All I've realised is that I've got to make a few changes in my life for the sake of other people.

Been lurking lately, just making sure of things. I've burnt my bridges a little too efficiently but I just wanted to make sure everyone was ok before I left. I'll miss you lot, but we've all said our goodbyes and I guess I just wrote this to explain why I was still around.

I'll be checking back a couple more times over the next week before I go back home. After that I think that's it.

Thanks for an eye opening, fun and uplifting two years. Love you

xxxxx

I'm alive and rediscovering the wonders of Zelda Twilight Princess (I abandoned it out of boredom but then realised it was genius).

2 more weeks of Preston before moving back to the family home. Ew ew ew etc.

Got all my work sorted for portfolio.

No, I wasn't doing final preparations for the zombie apocalypse (cheers Matt!), anyway, I have the helicopter and bunkers ready, both here and in Iceland. Remember, when the signal goes up, meet at the Albert Dock in Liverpool within 45 minutes. Quick stop for Toni and the marines, then we are outta there! It's gonna happen people!!!!

I was just majorly stressed for the first part and then utterly exhausted the rest. The following week after my work was handed in I kept falling asleep everywhere and anywhere. Like temporary narcolepsy!

Anyway...nitty gritty...

Some of you may have forgotten who I am and I'm afraid it won't get any better...I can't see myself visiting this site that often anymore. It's lost its sparkle.

I'm being quite serious. Ive lost interest in blogging, contributing, commenting etc.

But you lot have been fab. You've put up with a lot from me. The moaning, panicking, squeeing, the infamous drunken blogs, the agony aunts...plus a lot of random content and writing which I hope brightened up your day.

Special mentions as always to Toni, Lee, WA and Mollete (BM). People of the Tonitus, G&G (what exciting new episode is in store?!), freaky sh!t and the insane Oblivion PMs. You've given me time, dedication, advice, weird tangents, a demon child, banter, kinkiness, secret language and hardcore geekiness (where applicable ) Thanks kids

And of course thank you to everyone who's ever commented. At one point I used it to boost a flagging ego. That was during some particulary low points of course

It's strange how much this site meant to me. I guess a lot of you are in the same situation. A lot of you have made good friends and even formed relationships with the people here. That would have otherwise have been inconceivable to me before now. But I guess there's a greater chance here of people disappearing and never hearing from them again. Happened with me, most memorably Soapy. Miss her.

One more picture for old times...

Well, that's it. I may still return in September, who really knows. But among the work and living with my best friend the probability is low.

At least you got a heads up with this one. I couldn't completely drop off the face of the Earth without saying anything. I think I owe you that much.

I'll pop back in to reply to comments etc.

Otherwise, goodbye and good luck! Hope it all works out. It always does.

Comment me left!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Member since July 14 2006 (who knows, I may come back to celebrate if I remember...)
Level 12 59% (only?! Screwed up system methinks )
Submissions: 35 (hahahaaaaa)
Forum posts: 3,352 (hahaa)
Blog posts: 170 (Holy Crumble!)
Friends: 99 (interestingly, 3 more than I have on Facebook)
Number of icons used in 2 years: 5 (approx.)
Humour level: Mild to near hysteria.

Boyfriends: 0
Happiness of singledom: 7/10
Guilt: 6/10
Number of gorgeously intelligent guys I've set my eyes on and recently drunkenly kissed: 1
New Length of hair: Just on my shoulder - 5 inches cut off! Post-breaking-up cut that I had in mind for a long time and now I love it! It's so different!
Summer jobs: 2
Predicted uni grade: 2:1
Holidays this summer: 5 (phew, busy girl!)
Geek level of the week: 10/10
Overall satisfaction with life: 8/10

Not a bad score to end on.

I have found a new talent! This explains why I can spot a glaring spelling mistake in a 2000 word essay! My dream as a proofreader is coming into fruition!

If everything else fails, that shall be my fate...

*****

Crazy Eye Test!

Can you find the C? (Good exercise for the eyes!)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once you've found the C..........

Find the 6!

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6...

Find the N!

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Find the |

]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
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]]]]]]]]]]]]|]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] [[[[[[[[[[[[

The O

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQOQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Find the Z!

ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽZŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ
ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ ŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽŽ

Find the 5

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSS5SSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Find the i...

jljljljljljljljljljlj ljljljljljljlj
ijljljljljljljljljljl jljljljljljljl
jljljljljljljljljljlj ljljljljljljlj
ijljljljljljljliljljl jljljljljljljl
jljljljljljljljljljlj ljljljljljljlj
ijljljljljljljljljljl jljljljljljljl

Find 3

89898989 8989898 98989898
98989898 9898989 89898989
89898989 8939898 98989898
98989898 9898989 89898989
89898989 8989898 98989898

Find the 1

LILILILILILILILI
ILILILILILILILIL
LILILILLI1LILILI
ILILILILILILILIL

Find th V

xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw
wxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwx
xwxwxwxwxwxwvwxwxw
wxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwx

I found the O hardest...took almost 30 whole seconds...

Seriously, I'm quite worried about how quick I did this...

P.S. In other news I'm highly stressed. That is all.

xxxxxx