Good evening you all.

It's been awhile. A whole fifteen days. That's awhile. In those fifteen days I have managed to write one hundred and thirty-two blogs on my other blog. I am crazy on that thing. There are some days where I don't blog at all and then other days where I spent an hour writing entry after entry about whateverness comes into my head. I had a meltdown last Sunday I think. Or Monday. Either way. I think I wrote like 50 blogs about and I am barely exaggeratiing.

*Sidenote. I am watching Zoey 101 right now. And Abby from One Tree Hill is on it. You know the girl with diabetes in 316.*

Last blog. Obsessiver texting guy. Gone. Now dating Katie's other cousin who he met the same night as me. He backed off after Katie and Dylan told him to. And then he started dating Becca and they are "in love." They are old enough to be way past that falling in love after two seconds phase. Kat and Kaia. Still being lame. I talk to Kat but not really Kaia. They make me mad. There was a big long a$$ paragraph about me and Henry and our lacking of being friends. We have hung out twice this past week and talked quite a bit. It's like old old old times. He is even back to joking about us getting married. So that's all good.

Lately. I have finals coming up. And as always I am procrastinating. Tonight I am writing my paper. I am. I am. I am. I am. And then hiding out in the library tomorrow and doing chem. And some geography. I am. I have to.

Yesterday I was at my sister's basketball game and one of the mom's was talking to me and found out that I go to my school and she points to Treena and was like her brother goes there. I was like I know. Treena is Henry's sister. And she just started talking like crazy at me about how nice he is and all this stuff and obviously didn't understand when I said I know. I know him. Hahah. It was funny.

TV. One Tree Hill is good. Good. Good. I really like it. Even though it's not really One Tree Hill anymore. Gossip Girl makes me mad. I hate Serena. Vampire Diaries, needs to be on. I can't wait for Glee this week. I fall more and more in love with Puck every episode. And I can't think about anything else.

Are you an adult? Technically.
How old are you? Nineteen.
How old do you feel? Nineteen.
Do you consider your self a grown-up? I am not a girl, not yet a woman.
Do kids call you mr/miss/mrs? Henry stopped called me Miss and has moved onto calling me Ms. I told him I want to be Miss again.
Did you graduate high school? That I did.
Did you go to college? I am in college.
If so, what is/was your major? Environmental Science.
Did your parents go to college? My mom did. My dad did for a semester.
Have you been back to your high school since you graduated? Several times. It always feel awkward. My face is on the wall. I don't like it.
Do you still keep in touch with school friends? I have spoken to three of them today.
Have you been to a school reunion? It's only been a year and a bit. I wish though.
Do you plan to attend a school reunion? Yes.
Are you single/dating/married/divorced? Single.
Do you have children? No.
If so, names and ages? They don't exist yet. Their names, however, do.
Where do you work? I used to work retail. Now I am a full-time student.
Are you happy with the carreer field you have choosen? So far, so good.
Are you satisfied with your income? There is not one.
Do you hang out with your co-workers? My former ones, I sure do.
How many hours do you work per week? I used to work up to 35.
Do you rent or own a home? I live in my Dad's apartment.
Is your home big enough? Sure.
Do you throw parties often? I should.
Do you want to move? No.
What do you do for fun? Bar scene.
Favorite TV shows? One Tree Hill, Friday Night Lights, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Glee and Vampire Diaries. Currently airing favorites.
Do you have a TVO/DVR box to record shows? Sure do.
What size is your biggest TV? Large.
How much do you spend on groceries weekly or monthly? Too much. I am a fata$$.
Do you have pets? Not here. But at real home. Yes.
What vehicle do you drive? 2008 Kia Rio.
What do you like or dislike about your vehicle? Everything other than the color and lack of money is cost to fill it up.
If you could back in time, what advice would you give yourself at age:

age 5: Be less shy.
age 16: Stop eating.
age 18: Be more confident. You're making the right choices.
age 21: Nineteen.
age 25: Nineteen.
age 29: Nineteen.

ps. Jersey Shore. The biggest mess that I have ever seen. Love affair.

Dudes! I was watching an old episode of Degrassi today where JT was still alive. So I was all like I miss JT, I am going to youtube him. Holy f-bomb, I was on youtube forever. I rediscovered some of my loves. JT/Liberty and Neela/Ray (from ER) being the big two. Plus I found some good videos of Holly J/Declan. Which is hard since they are a new couple and I don't know any good Degrassi vidders. I favorited like at least 30 videos. It was out of control and I just want to go back and watch some more. I love Degrassi, by the way. I grew up with that show. And recently I have started to really like it again. Maybe a little because of Holly J and Declan. Mostly since he's the hottest thing since sliced bread.

So life. I have been kind of ignoring Kaia and Kat. Just avoiding the whole thing. I have been going out a lot. Hah. It's my life now. We went out for my birthday last weekend and it was kind of a gong show for Katie. Like there was too many boys that she has things with there. She feels the need to protect me at the bar and it's so funny. I can take care of myself. One of Katie's friends, friends was talking to me for maybe an hour. And later when we got home he has asked Katie for my BBM pin. And he won't stop texting me. I am couldn't be less interesting than I am. And he's just one of those full out pushy people about things. Like every text has a compliment in it about my looks. Which makes me sooo mad. I hate feeling like an object. That night I tramped it up quite a bit. I liked it. I was wearing like fishnet esque tights, with a short tight black shirt and a big, baggy off the shoulder shirt and lots of make up. So I was getting quite a bit of attention and Katie's other cousin was there and she gets super moody if she's not getting attention. And no one new was hitting on her. Like there are people we are always with that always hit on you but people were actually coming up to me. And she was not a fan. It was awkward.

School has been whatever. Lots of work. It's all over the place. I don't know. I can't wait for this semester to be over. I have been going to the gym lately. It's nice. Kaia asked me if her and boyfriend got pregnant if I would be her baby's godmomma. I told her yes. I hope she doesn't get pregnant anytime soon. Oh god! Kat told me she likes Henry again. Eff my life. So much drama and being stuck in a long time ago. So over it.

I went out this weekend too. Thursday and Friday night. Thursday was kind of fun. We were supposed to go out for a birthday but then the girl couldn't come. So it was me, Katie and Darci. And we some people there. As always. This cowboy was hitting on me. And it was soo funny. He was like talking to me how he's a conservative guy and this that and the other thing. And like that's the opposite of me. Complete and totally. And I said that and he continued. Like holy eff. Bar is funny. Last night was not good. Katie was wearing this little red dress and was getting so much attention. She doesn't need that additional confidence boost. She has enough. She was soooo high on herself. I wanted to punch her. And I told her that. I haven't felt sooo crappy about myself at the bar ever. But being with her, with her inflated ego and all of these guys being IN love with her. Wanted to die. The one guy who we know was all about her last night started telling race jokes. I didn't yell but I let it know how unimpressed I was. It wasn't a good a night.

Last night Henry started talking to me on facebook chat. About if I was going out last night which at the time I wasn't. So we then started talking about Friday Night Lights and everything. And I said I loved Tim and Matt and he was like he loves Julie and Lyla. And I don't know how it led to it exactly but we were talking about being able to get people of that quality in Calgs. And I said that anyone can get anyone. Everyone has a chance kind of thing. And he was like if that was true he would have gotten with Tess in high school. And then tells me that she was his high school fantasy and started talking to me about my high school crushes. And like I didn't really have any. But it was so awesome. Like it was the most real and normal conversation we have had in over a year. We talked about girls and everything like it wasn't weird. I was so happy. Anyways, somehow we ended up talking about how we've both changed since high school and stuff. And we talked about my situation with Kaia and Kat and he totally got it and it was nice for someone to really understand. And he told me that him and his RD best friend don't even talk anymore. Which is insane. They were best friends. Like full out. And I was his person about that for him. It was a good thing to talk to him. It was what I needed a little bit. Everyone is right when they say we should fix things. I need the confidence to do it. Me and Henry are always friends. Like we will always be friends. It's hard to describe our relationship. Like he will always be there for me no matter what and vice versa. But we kind of suck at being friends. Like for you OTH-ers. You know in season two after the formal in 209 when Lucas and Brooke are sitting on the beach and then go for breakfast and they are in Lucas' car outside Brooke's house and she says this was nice and they should be friends. and Lucas is like but we are friends. and Brooke is like we should be friends. I kind of feel like how our relationship is like. Like we are friends. But we suck are BEING friends. I don't know. It's complicated. It's really hard for me to put myself out there with him. Because as much as I do trust him, he has hurt me before. And he's so not confident in who he is that he thinks that taking himself out the picture is best for people sometimes and I don't want to let myself rely on him again too much so when he decides he needs to that again, I don't get left alone. Because that's what happened before. AHH. But seriously, a perfect conversation. We needed to have. We are both in the same situation with being the Calgs versions of ourselves which are the versions we should be being. The more mature and growing up versions not the high school versions. But once we go home we fall right back into those versions and afterwards feel so badly about it. Like everything we talked we both felt the same about everything. Ah. I need to fix things. We could be best friends again. I think. I don't think what happened before would happen again. I hope it wouldn't at least. I don't think I could go through that again. I was physically sick after all of that. I felt so bad. I hurt my best friend and lost my best friend all in the same moment. And then I got left behind. Alone. See, I think about all of that and that's why I am so scared on investing in our friendship again. Even if he's one the best people I have had in my life. According to everyone. My mother thinks he's the best person I have had in my life. Someone who was unselfishly there for me. And I believe that. I'm just a chicken sh*t.

So last week sometime Katie calls me asking if she can give my number to Mike. The guy who liked me, deleted me off of facebook person. I was like huh. She's like he's trying to make amends. And try to blame our lack of facebook friendship on me. I never delete people. And uhh obviously deleted me out of his phone too. Like duh, facebook too. Stupid kid. I said I didn't care about the number. But Katie didn't give it to him. We were invited to a party at his house last night. But we went out instead.

I had the most vivid dream about this kid I used to be really good friends with last night. Aaron. We were like best friends in middle school and little bit in high school until he dropped out. In my dream I was meeting Katie at Humpty's and I walk in there and there was Aaron sitting in a booth by himself. And I went and sat there and talking to him forever. It was weird. And he looked like he did when we were 15, not what he looks like now. It was sooo weird. I kind of miss him. Hah.

Basics

First Name: Lauren
Middle Name: Ashley
Birthday: November 6th
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Brown
Fav color: Purple
Day/Night: Night
Fave Food: Quesadilla

FRIENDS AND LIFE

Do you ever wish you had another name? Nope
Do you like anyone? Nope
Which one of your friends acts the most like you? Mia
Who's the loudest? Henry
Who have you known the longest of your friends? Kat
Who's the shyest: Kady
Are you close to any family members? Katie is my cousin and my best friend
When you cried the most: When my Grandma died
What's the best feeling in the world: Being with friends and laughing
Worst Feeling: Loss

FINISH EACH SENTENCE

Let's walk on the: Sidewalk
Let's run through: The meadow
Let's look at the: Clothes
What a nice: Puppy
Where did all the: Food go
Why can't you: You man up
Silly, little: Girl
Tell me: Something

HAVE YOU:

Ran away from home: Nope
Pictured your crush naked: No crush
Skipped school: Yes
Broken someone's heart: Nope
Been in love: No
Cried when someone died: Yes
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Not really
Done something embarrassing: Who hasn't
Done a drug: Advil
Cried in school: Yes

RANDOM

Your Good Luck Charm: Don't have one
Person You Hate Most: No one
Best Thing That Has Happened: Life
Ice Cream: Oreo

WHO

Makes you laugh the most: Everyone
Has A Crush On You: No one, I hope
Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Nope

HAVE YOU EVER

Fallen for your best friend?: Not really
Made out with JUST a friend?: Yes
Kissed two people in the same day?: Yes
Had sex with two different people in the same day?: No
Been rejected: No
Been in love?: No
Been used?: Yes
Done something you regret?: No regrets
Cheated on someone?: Nope
Been called a tease: Yes

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

You touched?: Katie
You talked to on the phone?: Katie
You hugged?: Guy at bar
You instant messaged?: Mia
You kissed?: Person
You yelled at?: I don't know
Who text messaged you?: Caralee
Who broke your heart?: No one
Who told you they loved you?: Can't remember

So I am watching a Charmed repeat on CosmoTV right now even though I am supposed to be studying. I have three midterms tomorrow and don't know what the heck I am doing. Anyways, I will after I write this blog. You know what I just noticed.. I swear a lot while I type that I keep having to backspace and delete words constantly. It's a little out of control. I wrote 14 blogs yesterday on my other blog, so I figured I outta write on here. Haha.

So I have been eating lately. Like a normal human being and haven't been stressing out about it too much. It's nice to not feel weak from not eating all of the time. But I know I am going to end up feeling fat again and go back down that stupid path. But for now, I am eating. Healthily and regularly. It's a good thing I think. Hah.

So my birthday was on Friday and I went home for it. And sometime in the previous week Kaia and Kat made up and we all were hanging out. And the joke was that we were in 2008 the whole time because that's the last time we all would have hung out. Before everything went down. And as much as I had fun, I wasn't really happy. You know. Like I was laughing in the moments but on Sunday when I had to drive back to the city I was sad. I was talking to my Mom and she's like they got on your nerves hey. They completely did. Like I love both of those girls to death but wow, I did not want to be in 2008. I don't want to be that person. Ever again. It's soooo annoying. And they were sooo buddy buddy and it just gave me the chills. Like I don't know. They weren't even facebook friends a week ago. I know that it's somewhat jealousy and whatever. I don't know. The person I wasin 2008 led to me being depressed and totally dependent on people. I was totally effed up. So my birthday was kind of whatever. This weekend is my city birthday. I am more excited about that. Me and Katie are going to the bar with whoever wants to come and we are going to have funnnn.

So that whole guy situation. After we got into that fight a couple weeks ago, he told me he liked me. And I said I didn't. He demanded I come to his birthday even though I was in RD. And then that I come out on the 13th, which is my city birthday. And I said no. Because I didn't want to and I couldn't anyways. So he basically stopped texting me. And then I realized the other day he deleted me off facebook. Hahahahah. Like wowww. Are we two years old? Hahah. So funny. I am glad I had that effect on you. Good, he was pathetic. Hah. When I was in RD we went to this house party and I got asked for my number more than Kaia did. Which is such a change from the old days. Anyways, last night one of the people was texting me and Kaia and I were talking as well and somehow she figured it out. She decided that I should marry this kid simply because he was texting me. Because you know, no one would ever text me. She so doesn't know the C-town version of me. Like I text random guys all the time. I don't start it. They do. I am a different person here. The boy that has my attention most is the cowboy boy from my Mom's small town that I met through my cousin a couple weekends ago. Hah.

So this whole Kaia and Kat thing. They make me feel so insecure about myself. Like when I am with them separately its okay. But when it's all three of us it just brings back everything. AHH. I don't know. Like they make comments about stuff. Like stuff that I am super insecure about. And they know it. Yet it kepts getting said. And then there is this whole weight thing. They run around calling themselves fat and then say I am the same as them. Like I run around saying it about myself but them saying it just confirms it in my head. You know. I felt bad about myself all weekend. Like I have been eating out of control. Which I am kind of okay with. But it does make me feel that a little it more insecure. Anyways, they just don't make me feel good about myself. When it's all three of us. I don't want 2008 back. FRICK. I need to talk to someone who knew me in both times. Because everyone I know how would not understand it. I kind of what to talk to Henry about it all. But we haven't been that close for so long so like making him be my person would be kind of weird. But I know he'd understand what I am talking about. BAHH.

At this beginning of this blog I said I was feeling okay about eating. After writing all of that, I am not anymore. I let people have wayyyy to big of an effect on me. I needed to talk to my mom this weekend. And I never got a chance. Like ahh. She would have talked some sense into me about all of this. But I can't exactly call her up. Thats not how we are. I can't call and just be like my best friends make me soooo insecure. Thats not how me and her are. AHH. I didn't really realize how much of a mess I was until I started writing this.

Anyways! I am currently watching Phoebe kill Cole. FRICKKK. I loved Cole soooo much. He was sooo amazing. Him and Phoebe. LOVE. Stupid being a demon. =(

Do you have any voicemails on your cellphone?
I haven't had a voicemail left on this phone.

How many times a day do you shower?
Once.

When you wake up what's the first thing you do?
Check my phone.

Do you play video games?
Never.

What's the last thing you bought at the store?
Probably food.

Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes.

How many states have you lived in?
None.

Are you a high school drop out?
Haha. Nopeee.

Left handed or right handed?
RIGHTY!

Look out the window, what do you see?
Lots of large buildings.

What is to your left?
A loveseat.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Gilmore Girls.

Who do you think will be a better mom Nicole Richie? Or Christina Aguilera?
Nicole Richie. I like her cute little fam jam.

Do you read the newspaper?
If it peaks my interest.

Can you cook?
Yes I can. I don't though.

How many pets do you have?
Eleven.

Are you close with your parents?
Sure. My Mom at least.

How many best friends do you have?
Three.

What are you doing tonight?
STUDYING.

What time is it?
1:25 pm.

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Nope. Starbucks has all of my change.

Do you read gossip magazines?
Not really magazines since I obsessively read blogs.

Do you like to sing or dance in the shower?
Sometimes.

How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled, Sunny-Side Up, Boiled. Hah.

At McDonalds what do you usually order?
I don't do McDonalds.

Are you a friendly person?
Sometimes. At the bar. If I am in the right mood.

If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
Have more time for the gym and make Calculus easier.

If you could go back in time, where would you go??
No regrets about my own life. But I would love to go to the late 60's.

Have you ever met a famous person?
Not super famous.

Have you ever done drugs?
Non-illegal ones! But I don't even do those anymore.

Have you ever woke up and didn't know who the person was sleeping next to you?
I have woken up beside someone I had met the night before. I was fully clothed. I did not hook up with them. I just crashed at their house and they were a friend of a friend. Still kinda hoe-y sounding.

Do you have a criminal record?
Haha no.

What really annoys you?
Calculus.

What are you listening to?
Felicity. I love this show. COSMOTV you're awesome.

Do you have a SocialSplash.com account?
What's that.

What's your favorite tv-show?
One Tree Hill, Friday Night Lights and Gossip Girl.

What's your favorite color?
Purple.

Who do you want to become the next president?
Nick J.

Are you down with the clown?
Huh?

Do you listen to the radio?
I did on the weekend. I didn't take my iPod deck home because I thought I would be able to survive the weekend without listening to music while I slept. It literally lasted two seconds and I went found my old stereo and put the radio on to sleep to.

Do you play any insturments?
Nope.

What's the date today?
November 11th, 2009. Remembrance Day.

What are you looking forward to?
Friday!

When was the last time you were in a swimming pool?
I hate swimming pools. Chlorine and I don't get along.

When your in the shower, what's the first thing you wash?
My face.

Do you wear makeup?
Yeah. It's currently all over my face. I was wearing liquid liner yesterday and didn't wash it off and now it's all over my face and I don't plan on dealiing with it. I'm a beaut.

Where is the strangest place you've slept?
Kent's scratchy basment couch. Which I know doesn't sound that weird. It's quite the story that makes it weirdddd.

How many colors have you dyed your hair?
At one point there was very blonde streaks in my very dark brown hair. Then I dyed it back to my natural color.

Do you howl on full moons?
Not typically.

Have you ever been hit on by somebody 5 years older than you?
Yes. All the time. It's really awesome. Like I get constantly get hit on by people my father's age. That's Ranchmans for you. Old cowboys that think nineteen year olds are fair game. Inappropriate. But I am good with dealing with it now.

Does anyone watch Degrassi? I just saw the one aired in Canada the other day. And it ws about Holly J and Declan. LOVE LOVE LOVE. The guy that plays Declan is beyond gorgeous. And they were beyond cute. And cheesy and I still liked them, so they have to be pretty awesome. Hey.

One Tree Hill this week. I really liked it. Clay and Quinn. Cute. Even though I am totally team Clay and Sara. Which I know makes no sense. Millie!!! She needs to grow a brain. You'd think that I would relate to her and everything considering my issues, but wowww. Brooke. I feel bad for her. Even though Julian isn't really doing anything wrong. But I get it. Dan. I love him. I know that's inappropriate but I do. Rachel. She's annoying but makes me laugh. When she met Jamie. "I remember when you were a rumor in third period." Hahaha. Haley singing. Love her. And I really like Alex. I don't know why, but I really do.

Gossip Girl. Jenny Humphrey needs to grow up. I love Chuck Bass. Always. What he's done for Serena and Blair. Love him even more. Tripp and Serena. WTF. I am kind of intrigued. Here's my dream storyline. Tripp and Serena have a really obvious flirtation but nothing happens, but Nate sees it and gets jealous and then Serena and Nate finally hook up other than in flashbacks. It would be swell. The 3some. AHH. Seriously. Dan, Vanessa and Lizzie McGuire. Ah. Not a fan.

Peace peopleee.

ps, there is an advertisement on cosmotv right now for walk the line. they are playing it sometime in the future. i would like to watch it in this very moment. i lovveeeeeee that movie. sooo amazing.

This week has be interesting. On Wednesday night I stayed up until 230am even though I had to get up at 6am. But I had an ENVS (EDIT: ENVS = ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE, sorry. I forget the people wouldn't understand that.) midterm on Thursday and I hadn't studied yet. So I was up studying. So I went to school the next day on less than four hours sleep and like no one showed up to chemistry since most of our clas-s is in ENVS. So they all obviously slept in. And this girl Kelsey invited me to come and hang out with people for a ENVS cram session/hang out. So I went. And it was fun. It was the first time I hung out with ENVS people outside of clas-s. And between all of my clas-ses all day I hung out with people. It was a really good day. On Friday I slept in and then Katie and I went to the gym and it was really good. Then we went back to my place and got ready for the night. A few weeks ago we invited out on this party bus. And then things got really weird. That stupid little "love triangle" so no one had really told us anything about it so we actually thought we were uninvited. So we decided to hit up our typical bar but no one would come out with us so it was just me and Katie. We get in there and like a few minutes later I get a text from Mike asking where we were. This was TWO hours after we were supposed to meet up with them. So like seriously, no one cared that we didn't show. And he started being a complete ahole to me, so I was a b*tch back and Katie was just killing herself about it. She's like I love you like this. Like I have this complete b*tch side but I rarely bring it out. But if someone is pushing me, it's going to come out. And it did. And I won. That's all the matters. For whatever reason that night the bar was sloowwww. And old people were obsessed with us. We got like hcore hit on but four sets of OLD people. Like my dad old. Drinks being bought, I wasn't drinking. It was so creepy. And like everyone was acting like it was a junior high dance, girls were together and boys were together. No mixing. It was so odd. So we were kind of bored and tired so we were going to call it early that night.

So we were just sitting there and this guy flies up and slams his beer in the middle of our table. Both Katie and I just kind of look at each other confused and looked at the guy. IT WAS OUR COUSIN KEVIN. Who lives like three hours away. It was totally random. We were like whattt, KEVIN? Kevin and I don't really get along. It's not like we fight or anything but that side of my family has totally judged me to be something I am not. So he thinks I am like this totally priss and stuff. But really I am a city kid that's it. I am not a hick like rest of them. I know how to have fun. But he doesn't know that about me because I am poised around family and we are never in the same place without all of the adults of family around. So he totally doesn't know who I am. Where him and Katie have spent a lot of time around each other and he knows her and they have a good relationship. So he was with these three guys. One from the small town that our families are from. And the other two from one of the outside towns. But all three of them live in the city for school. One of them goes to mine and two of them going to the tech school. I am not too sure how old they all were. Because Kevin is older than us. Like 22-ish I think. Kevin was trasheddd. He'd already been kicked off the tech school campus for a beer bong. Which he was really stoked up and was telling me all about it. And his friends were pretty chill. The one was really proud about knowing my name and I have no idea what his was. Like not at all. And only reason I know one of the other ones was because he was texting me the next day. Haha. But they were nice. Sometime Katie had met these other guys. Who were pretty cool. Who I ended up driving home. I so could get myself into trouble one of these days. And it turned out that were they were staying were on the same avenue I live on. One street down. So weird. We got invited to one of Kevin's friends houses but we didn't go. But it was really fun. And I think Kevin might have a slightly different opinion of me now slash, his friends were getting MY number not Katie's. I love the girl, but I am so sick of people always thinking that Katie is better than me. Not that I think I am better than her either. I just like to be on top once in awhile.

So on Saturday morning we got up early so Katie could go to work and we had to move nine pumpkins from my car to her car. So I got up with her. Then I went back to bed and when I woke up I had a bunch of texts. Of course creepy Mike, saying sorry and confessing more of his like, this kid I met through Kevin, one of the guys I drove home and Katie. Ignored Mike. Talked to the boys I met at the bar and Katie was in the hospital. Yeah. So I ended up spending my day at the hospital in Katie's town. Because it was her sister's birthday so I decided to go and help out and be Katie's doctor/babysitter. One of Kevin's friends, Jace was still texting me and invited me out and stuff. And I couldn't go obviously since I was in BD with Katie. But it was just hilarious, because we always make fun of that town our mom's grew up in since it's like in the middle of nowhere and so hick and hilarious and this is where this kid is from. Hah. Like I was texting a Corntown boy. Hah. My sister would die if she knew. And if he knew me, he wouldn't be texting me. He was like this total cowboy and I am this crazy, hippie, veggie city girl. HAHAH. It made me laugh.

BTW, Katie is fine. She was just dehydrated.

On my way home from BD I called my mom. And we were talking about stuff and somehow we ended up talking about my father and she told me that I need to find somewhere else to live. Not because I am being kicked out or anything. But this situation is so bad here. I can't deal with it. And she gets it. And like I let some stuff slip about stuff my ahole father has said about her in context to me. Basically anytime I make him mad he sits around mumbling about how it's my mother's fault because it's how she raised me and all this stuff. My parents are still together but my dad has never been home. And like we used to get along but last spring he decided he was going to tell me everything that is wrong with my life and teach me lessons and stuff. Like um, no. First all I am eighteen and I have made it through my life without him so far. Second of all, I am super independant and I won't change for anyone unless it makes sense to me. Third of all, he approaches it so wrong. Fourth of all, he pushes me and does not understand by trying to force me to be who he thinks I need to be is only forcing me further away. He makes me so mad. All the time. He's so passive aggressive. AHH.

When I was in BD is spent a lot of time talking to my Aunt (Katie's mom). She doesn't live there but she was in town so her youngest daughter could have a BD birthday. Anyways, I stuck around to help out. Cleaning up and stuff and ending up talking to my Aunt. I don't really like my Aunt too much. Her and my mom don't really get along and stuff. Anyways, she was telling me how worried she is about Katie and all of this stuff. And talking to be about her. And it makes me feel really awkward because Katie is one of my best friends. And I love her. And I am totally team Katie. She wants me take care of her. I already do. When I was talking to my mom afterwards she was saying that it's everyone in the family's thing thinking that I will save Katie. I don't know. It's weird, like she doesn't make some of the best decisions but it's not the worse. My aunt was super stoked to know that me and Katie talk about our Grandma. She died like four years ago and that's what brought Katie and I to be so close. My aunt thought that Katie kept that all bottled up inside. Like my Grandma practically raised Katie. And they were incredibly close. It was weird to talk about it.

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Middle of forehead. Chicken pox.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Nothing.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Snore sometimes and talk.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Mostly indie.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Yes.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Nothing really.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Home.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My quilt my Grandma made me.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
Five foot two and a half.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Yes.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Nope.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Me and my mom talking about my dad.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
The worst case scenario.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It's not going to be a make or break thing. But I like brown hair, blue eyes. AKA Nathan Scott.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I don't really see myself proposing.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee.

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Cheese.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Apple crisp.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Purple.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
The snack that smiles back!

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
I have all of these homemade gifts from my Grandma.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CELEBRITY CRUSH?
I have an unhealthy infatuation with Nick Jonas. I know. Make fun of me. Then there is James Lafferty. And Austin Nichols. And Robert Buckley. And Chace Crawford. Taylor Kitsch. WOW.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Nope.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Six.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE
Of the moment..
"I mean, how many moments in life can you point to and say, 'That's when it all changed'? You just had one."
I know it's kind of random and old school. But I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Home.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF Canada?
Yes.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Lots of things.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Yes.

37. FIRST JOB?
Old Navy.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
I used to do that all the time.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
I don't believe that people have JUST one soulmate. I think there are a lot of people out there that are perfect for you.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Watching Dawson's Creek and still am.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My hair.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yes.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
MONEY. Or clothes or dvds. My birthday is on Friday so keep track!

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
Four. Laurelai, Kianna, Tayanne and Nathan.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I don't know really.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
Friends.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Herbal Essences.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not really.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
None.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Yes.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Yes.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH THE IDEA OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Don't really disagree.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
You don't have to be hot or anything, but you have to care. You know.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Screaming, crying, throwing things, writing.

58.WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
Lose.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My dolls, barbies and Grand Champions.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Not many. I delete on a constant basis.

62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Nope.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Constantly.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Ew.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Honesty, understanding, sense of humor, loyality, independance, sports-lover and ambition.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Lo, LAH, Ren and Laureno.

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
Read minds.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
One Tree Hill and Friday Night Lights.

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
Let it go.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Oreo.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
That I do.

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
It's a laptop and it's in every room.

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT
Sleep. Laundry.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Vancouver.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Could careless.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Jen and Dawson talk on Dawson's Creek. Apparently Jen has sold her soul.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Pink lemonade.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My momma.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Hair.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Anything.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Myself lately.

82. FAVORITE SEASON(S) OF THE YEAR?
Early fall.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Sour watermelons.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Yes. Five of them. Three of them are currently in my life.

85.HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown.

86. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.

87. SHOE SIZE?
7.

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Subway.

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Joey Tomatos.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Ew.

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Yes.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
It changes every year.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
I wish.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Democrat. Ish.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Both.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Depends on the people.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Groceries.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
If I could hire someone to clean. Hah.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Trick - Ellen Hopkins.

Hey all. It's been ten days since my last post. Thats awhile for me these days. Since on my other Blog I post like at least three times a day. But I write the most random things on that and it's practically my diary. But I used to come on here to vent but now I do that more on my other Blog. If it didn't entirely tell you everything about me, I would give you all the link. You all don't need to know just how crazy I am. The little bits you get are enough. Hah. So what's new with you all? I am currently supposed to be studying but Blackboard the thing I need to do it, refuses to work. So blog.

Me, me, me. Chasing Cars just came on my iPod. I love this song so much. It reminds me of both One Tree Hill and Grey's Anatomy. It played in both of their season finales in like 2006. It was a big deal in the Grey's finale. I think it may have been the CODA song. One Tree Hill had a Led Zeppelin song that season - Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You. Wow, I need a life. That was the last year of tv I was out of control knowing everything. I couldn't even remotely tell you what songs played in either of the next seasons of both shows. Haha. My best friend from home was here this weekend. It was fun. Like we are so chill it just doesn't matter what we do. We can do anything and it's fun. We went to the new mall outside of the city and it has the most amazing Forever 21. It's so huge and beautiful. I have been eating non-stop for a week. Bad food after bad food. It's so out of control. I feel so fat right now. Like it's out of control. If you all could see my other Blog you could see how much it's taking over my life. I think there are two entries in the past few days that DON'T mention it. It makes it way into every other entry. I am so unhealthy.

So you know that kid who has been texting me a lot and stuff. And it seemed like he liked me. And by seemed, I knew pretty much. Anyways, he finally told me. And like I don't like him. I have known him for a month. And I am this crazy, non-trusting, don't let people in person. So being that person there is no way I would "like" him already. You know. Every person I have ever had something with has always been a good friend first. That's the only way I will let someone in even that little bit. Anyways, he knows that he doesn't really have a chance. I doubt no matter how long I knew him, I would ever like like him. We are very different and he refuses to understand me and give me space. So no. Anyways, he knows that he doesn't have a chance, but he continues to talk to me like he does. It's weird. Like I don't think cut off all contact but seriously, quit pushing the dating angle. It's so weird.

I am currently rewatching season three of Friday Night Lights on dvd. I love that show so much. I was looking at stuff about the new season and how a bunch of characters aren't returning and it sucks. Like two of my favorites. Which are in two of my favorite couples. So it's going to be kind of lame. But FNL is amazing and I am sure they'll suck me right back in without those people. I watched OTH and GG last night. I hate Serena. Just saying. So much. She's such a fake person. Like yes, Blair's a witch. But she doesn't pretend to be anything but. Serena does a bunch of shady things and acts like it's not that big of a deal. Like ahhh. I really liked OTH last night. Normally whole supernaturalish things turn me right off. But I actually really liked learning about Clay's past. And I love Dan Scott. I always do. But seriously, he's awesome. I know he killed his brother and whatever and was emotionally abusive to everyone around him. But I love him. And he was amazing last night. I am super obsessed with Glee. I don't really have anything to say about it, but ILOVEIT! I am loving Grey's Anatomy right now. Like a lot. So good. Poor Alex. I love him. He needs someone better than that selfish witch known as Izzie. I don't understand why people love her so much. I love Alex and Izzie together, but seriously. He's just trying to take care of her and she acts like a total lunatic.

Katie (my cousin) and Henry totally have this weird facebook loving each other thing going on. It's so weird. Like they hated each other for so long. And now their names are in each other FB statuses and I think they talk more than we all do. It's so weird. Like right now all three of us are talking on my FB status. I can't wrap my mind around it.

QUIZTASTIC!

L A S T P E R S O N T H A T

1. Slept in bed beside you? Kat.
2. Saw you cry? My father.
3. You went to the movies with? Mike.
4. You went out to dinner with? Kat and Austin.
5. You talked on the phone to? Kat.
6. Made you laugh? Katie.


W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Neither.
2. Be serious or be funny? FUNNY.
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Skim.
4. Die in a fire or drown? Drown.
5. Spend time with your parents or with friends? Friends.

A R E Y O U ?

1. Simple or complicated? Simple on the surface, very complicated underneath.
2. Homosexual? Nope.
3. Retarded? I hate that word.

D O Y O U P R E F E R?

1. Flowers or candy? Flowers.
2. Gray or black? Black.
3. Color or Black and white photos? Black and white.
4. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset.
5. M&Ms or skittles? M&Ms.
6. Staying up late or going to bed early? Staying up late.


A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y !!

1. Do you like anyone? No.
2. Do they know it? Nothing to know.

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .

1. Sun or moon? Moon.
2. Winter or Fall? Fall.
3. Left or right? Right.
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? Two best friends.
5. Sun or rain? Both at the same time.
6. Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? Vanilla.
7. Vodka or Jack? Vodka, it's pretty much the only thing I'll drink.

A B O U T Y O U!

1. What time is it? 11:45 am.
2. Name? Lauren Ashley.
3. Nickname(s): Lo, Ren, LAH.
4. What is your birthdate?: November 6th, 1990.
5. What do you want? More of a life here.
7. How many kids do you want? Four. Three girls, one boy.
8. What would you want to name a girl? I have three full names - Laurelai Avery Grace, Kianna Lee Marie and Tayanne Lily Brie.
9. What would you want to name a boy? Nathan William Reese, Noah Alexander Kael and James Ethan Reid.
10. You want to get married? If I have kids, yes. If I don't, I don't care.
11. What kind of music do you like? Little bits of everything.

U N I Q U E!

1. Nervous Habits? Biting my inner lip.
2. Are you double jointed? That I am not.
3. Can you roll your tongue? Yes.
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? Only one of them.
5. Can you cross your eyes? Yeah.
6. Do you make your bed daily? I don't know if I have ever done that.

R A N D O M:

1. Which shoe goes on first? Left.
2. Ever thrown something at someone? Constantly.
3. On average, how much money do you carry with you? Maybe forty.
4. What jewelry do you wear? Always my wish ring.
5. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? I don't do spaghetti.
6. Have you ever eaten Spam? Ew.
7. Favorite ice cream? Oreo.
8. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? One.
9. What's your favorite beverage? Water.
10. Do you cook? When I feel like it.

I N T H E L A S T M O N T H , H A V E Y O U ?

1. Had a relationship? No.
2. Bought something? Yes.
4. Sang? Yes.
5. Been kissed? No.
6. Been hugged: Yes.
7. Felt stupid: Yes.
8. Missed someone: Yes.

F I R S T ?

First CD: I am thinking the Spice Girls.
First Stuffed animal: First, I have no idea.

S I X L A S T S

Last Alcoholic Beverage: A raspberry Smirnoff.
Last Car ride: Ride.. A week and a half ago.
Last Song Played: World Spins Madly On - The Weepies. (Another song on both OTH and GA. I can tell you the episodes too.)
Bubble Bath: No remote idea.
Last time you Cried: A week ago.
Last Fight: Probably with my father.

H A V E Y O U E V E R

Have you ever been arrested? No.
Have you ever skinny dipped? Yes.
Have you ever been on TV? Yes.
Have you ever liked somone for more than 2 years? Yes.


S E V E N T H I N G S Y O U A R E W E A R I N G


1. Jeans.
2. Grey tank.
3. Black t-shirt.
4. Black sweater.
5. Socks.
6. Purple sneakers.
7. A bra.

T H R E E P E O P L E Y O U C A N T E L L A N Y T H I N G T O

1. Kat.
2. Kaia.
3. Katie.

T H R E E C H O I C E S

1. Black or White: Black.
2. Hot or Cold: Cold.
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.

B E S T :

1. Male friend(s): Probably Henry, still.
2. Female friend(s): Kat, Kaia, Katie, Anne.
3. Vacation: Florida.
4. Memory: High school.

W O R S T

1. Time of day: When my alarm wakes me up.
2. Day of the week: Thursday.
3. Food: Meat.
4. Memory: Death.

L A S T :

1. Person you saw: People in chemistry. So Adam, Kendall, Christian, Kelsey and Justin.
2. Person you hugged: I have no idea.
3. Guy/Girl you kissed? Person.

T O M O R R O W :

1. Sleeping till? 9 ish.
2. Got any plans? School!
3. Dislikes about tomorrow? School. Mad studying for my midterm.

F A V O R I T E

1: Number: Six.
2: Song: Of the moment. Eyes on Fire - Blue Foundation.
3. Color: Purple.
4. Season: Early fall.

PS, My BlackBerry Pearl broke so now I have a Curve. And it's red and I am in love. No big deal. I have been big time obsessed with my twitter lately. Do any of you all use it? Mine is www.twitter.com/lo_ashley if you all do.

Me and Kat in our new sunglasses that
we have no business owning since
it's winter and the sun barely comes out
and we both already own so many pairs.