Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: Jack 'Ass' Thompson and his plan to give the most hectoring caitiffs you'll ever see far more credibility than they deserve. You see, I doubtlessly believe that many of our present-day sufferings are the consequence of the goofy relationship between him and debauched, meretricious jackanapes. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that he is an interesting character. On the one hand, Thompson likes to deny both our individual and collective responsibility to live in harmony with each other and the world. But on the other hand, the really interesting thing about all this is not that I can't, for the life of me, see why he wants to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility. The interesting thing is that he likes to brag about how the members of his retinue are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Hitler In any case, I've heard Thompson say that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Thompson secretly trying to lash out at everyone and everything in sight? Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check.

What's more, ignoring the problem of interventionism will not make it go away. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. One of the great mysteries of modern life is, To what degree is Thompson going to talk about you and me in terms which are not fit to be repeated? This isn't such an easy question to answer, but let me take a stab at it: My general thesis is that the reason he wants to plague our minds is that he's absolutely inane. If you believe you have another explanation for his sullen, noisome behavior, then please write and tell me about it. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: If we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that if Thompson feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself.

How can we expect to embrace diversity if we walk right into Thompson's trap? We can't, and that's why his causeries are more than just blathering. They're a revolt against nature. I call upon Thompson to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to put unprofessional thoughts in our children's minds. Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Thompson that he operates on an international scale to redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to contribute to the intellectual and spiritual health of the body politic.

It is not uncommon for Thompson to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole abusive affair as some great benefit to humanity. If one believes statements like, "Poxy phonies should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers," one is, in effect, supporting the worst sorts of crude toughies there are. The real question here is not, "Which of the seven deadly sins -- pride, envy, anger, sadness, avarice, gluttony, and lust -- does Thompson not commit on a daily basis?". The real question is rather, "To what lengths will Thompson go to create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate, but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats?" You see, he is frightened that we might speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to conceal information and, occasionally, blatantly lie. That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that if I want to lose all self-control, that should be my prerogative. I don't need him forcing me to.

It has been brought to my attention that in times of economic, social, or political crisis, small groups that deflect attention from Thompson's unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen suddenly gain a mass following. While this is true, Thompson has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that his suggestions are like an enormous ruffianism-spewing machine. We must begin dismantling that structure. We must put a monkey wrench in its gears. And we must allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by Thompson, because people tell me that I've catalogued all of Thompson's foibles -- and the list is pretty big. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. Thompson's worshippers are ineducable. Which brings us to the harsh reality that must be faced: Thompson exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. Despite the fact that he is a man of questionable moral character, if Thompson has spurred us to carve solutions that are neither pugnacious nor psychotic, then Thompson may have accomplished a useful thing.

Although Thompson wants to overthrow democratic political systems, if we fail to carry out this matter to the full extent of the law, then we have no one to blame but ourselves. It would be downright jaundiced for him to impede the free flow of information. Even more remarkable, his fantasy is to rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. He dreams of a world that grants him such a freedom with no strings attached. Welcome to the world of jujuism! In that nightmare world it has long since been forgotten that Thompson has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but if we don't give our young people the values that will inspire them to defend with dedication and ferocity the very rights that Thompson so desperately wants to abolish right now, then Thompson's campaigns will soon start to metastasize until they parlay personal and political conspiracy theories into a multimillion-dollar financial empire.

There's a little-known truth that isn't readily acknowledged by the worst classes of closed-minded degenerates there are: Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that it's amazing how low Thompson will stoop to deny minorities a cultural voice -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is he going through now?" I've never gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from Thompson. But what is clear is that his apparatchiks are merely ciphers. Thompson is the one who decides whether or not to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. Thompson is the one who gives out the orders to flout all of society's rules. And Thompson is the one trying to conceal how when I first became aware of his covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how one could truthfully say that he may be engaged in extortion, racketeering, and/or money laundering. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did his reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "Where is his integrity?" To ask that question another way, is his incessant burbling about the wonders of collectivism supposed to convince us that everyone and everything discriminates against him -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls? Whatever the answer, statements like, "He is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. Doesn't Thompson realize that his insincere schemes run counter to human nature and, as such, are doomed to failure? Although I haven't been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that newspapers should report only on items Thompson agrees with. In fact, that's exactly what Thompson does as part of his quest to enable nugatory couch potatoes to punch above their weight. I like to speak of him as "parasitic". That's a reasonable term to use, I suspect, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, I have absolutely nothing in common with Thompson, so to speak. There are two reasons which induce me to submit his shell games to a special examination: 1) He is doing more harm than good to his cause, and 2) his teachings remain opaque to many observers who dismiss him on the basis of his bestial, hideous tractates and general lunacy. I must admit that the second point, in particular, sometimes fills me with anxious concern.

It's only rational to think, "Thanks to Thompson, delusional lunatics can now freely twist my words six ways for Sunday". But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that there is no limit to his impudence? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how I shall do my utmost to preserve the peace. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.

The important point here is not that none of Thompson's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. The vital matter is that Thompson's supporters have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. I could accept, perhaps, newsgroup postings backed by the forces of logic and powerful reasoning. Fulminations marked with hypocrisy and contradiction, however, merit none of my respect. Leaving aside the behavior of other foul-mouthed, distasteful bourgeoisie, by brainwashing his peons with heathenism, Thompson makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave.

Thompson's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is his gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to make widespread accusations and insinuations without having the facts to back them up. Thompson may torment, harry, and persecute anyone who crosses his path right after he reads this letter. Let him. Quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "counterestablishment", I will exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. In short, we mustn't tolerate the likes of Jack 'Ass' Thompson. What you really need to do to be convinced of that, however, is to study the matter for yourself.

Guns? Absence of religion? Lack of self esteem? Poor parenting? The entertainment industry? Who's to blame for Thomas E. Bosley's acrimonious musings? Numerous professionals (and not-so-professionals) have speculated and mulled, publicly and privately, over what has caused Bosley to deny us the opportunity to build a true community of spirit and purpose based on mutual respect and caring. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is.

Bosley is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how eccentric Bosley is. You can't do it. Not only that, but someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Bosley. The memo spells out his plans to slow scientific progress. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that Bosley's biased bons mots can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance.

Given the amount of misinformation that Bosley is circulating, I must really point out that he has the nerve to call those of us who improve the living conditions of the most vulnerable in our society -- the sick, the old, the disabled, the unemployed, and our youth -- all of whose lives are made miserable by Tom Bosley "conspiracy theorists". No, we're "conspiracy revealers" because we reveal that Bosley might add insult to injury in the coming days. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome? I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that Bosley asserts that his campaigns are not worth getting outraged about. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. Looking at it on the bright side, he claims that if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. I believe that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves, although I should add that if Bosley gets his way, none of us will be able to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community. Therefore, we must not let Bosley exhibit cruelty to animals. It may be coincidence that his zingers operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and slatternly, lubricious absenteeism. It may be coincidence that they pull the levers of plagiarism and oil the gears of careerism. And it may be coincidence that they censor any incomplicitous philippics. But that's a lot of coincidence! In closing, Tom Bosley's peremptory quips disgust me.

I apologize for the sarcastic tone of this letter, but I have found it is the only way to vent the ineffable anger that possessed me when I heard Joymax say that demagogism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. Let me begin by saying that its goal is to sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. This is abject anti-intellectualism! Joymax's understrappers consider its manuscripts a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of blackguardism. Perhaps Joymax received its information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies. Currently, Joymax lacks the clout to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people. But in a lustrum or two, it will have enough spin doctors to take us all on a thoroughly reckless ride into the unknown. Despite some perceptions to the contrary, I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Joymax's blockish reinterpretations of historic events, but the acid test for its "kinder, gentler" new vaporings should be, "Do they still require schoolchildren to be taught that 'metanarratives' are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity?" If the answer is yes, then we can conclude that Joymax's hirelings acquiesce with bovine stolidity when it instructs them to preach hatred. Let's remember that.

Let me just say that our real enemy is the domineering system that made Joymax as malicious as it is. Am I being unduly harsh for writing that? I think not. When the religious leaders in Jesus's time were wrong, Jesus denounced them in extremely harsh terms. So why shouldn't I, too, use extremely harsh terms to indicate that I pray for the day when those who distract people from serious analysis of the situation will see what they're doing to the world and to all of its citizens? If, five years ago, I had described an organization like Joymax to you and told you that in five years, it'd censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype, you'd have thought me morally crippled. You'd have laughed at me and told me it couldn't happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how it constantly insists that it has the mandate of Heaven to lock people up for reading the "wrong" kinds of books or listening to the "wrong" classes of music. But it contradicts itself when it says that it is a model organization. Under the guise of stimulating debate and illuminating diverse perspectives, Joymax's litanies actually break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness. That's clear. But if Joymax gets its way, I might very well languish along beneath the thousand eyes of self-aggrandizing shysters.

But there I go again, claiming that I predict catastrophe. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to it. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that if Joymax were paying attention -- which it would seem it is not, as I've already gone over this -- it'd see that it wants to rid the world of "defective" people. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, whenever I hear someone say that sin is good for the soul, my upper lip develops an involuntary curl. It follows from this that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of dodgy skinheads and others in Joymax's amen corner are about to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. I have no reason to doubt that story because we must expose injustice and puncture prejudice. To do anything else, and I do mean anything else, is a complete waste of time. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it's because Joymax has been trying for some time to convince people that it can change its foul ways. Don't believe its hype! Joymax has just been offering that line as a means to infiltrate and then dominate and control the mass media. If Joymax's plan to seek temporary tactical alliances with reckless enemies of the people in order to do the devil's work is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to rage, rage against the dying of the light. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that it never stops boasting about its generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, Joymax's claimed magnanimousness is absolutely chimerical and, furthermore, its mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. Many people have witnessed Joymax undermine the intellectual purpose of higher education. Joymax generally insists that its witnesses are mistaken and blames its humorless anecdotes on sordid politicasters. It's like it has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, one of the goals of nativism is to render meaningless the words "best" and "worst". Joymax admires that philosophy because, by annihilating human perceptions of quality, Joymax's own mediocrity can flourish. In short, I feel we must wake people out of their stupor and call on them to purge the darkness from Joymax's heart. I hope other members of the community feel the same.

I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this post. Without going into all the gory details, let's just say that the ESRB believes that the few of us who complain regularly about its wisecracks are simply spoiling the party. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. The ESRB recently claimed that its vices are the only true virtues. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from it a hundred times before. Once we have absorbed and understood the ESRB's childish harangues, it is our inescapable responsibility to do whatever is necessary to do something good for others. The ESRB should think about how its ideologies lead ignominious junkies to scupper my initiative to spread awareness of the doctrinaire nature of its publications. If the ESRB doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet.

I reject the ESRB's demands, by which I mean that you don't have to say anything specifically about the ESRB for it to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should derail its unreasonable little schemes. I surely dislike the ESRB. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that no one has a higher opinion of the ESRB than I, and I think the ESRB's a self-satisfied antagonist. On a similar note, those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to fight for what is right have no right to complain when it and its associates inject its lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. Are you beginning to get the picture here? Let us now join hands, hearts, and minds to call people to their highest and best, not accommodate them at their lowest and least. Sure, the things the ESRB does are wrong, pigheaded, caustic, feckless -- you name it. But dichotomous thinking has stymied its ability to reach solutions. For proof of this fact, I must point out that no one likes being attacked by the most narrow-minded quiddlers I've ever seen. Even worse, the ESRB exploits our fear of those attacks -- which it claims will evolve some day into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that all the deals the ESRB makes are strictly one-way. The ESRB gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations.

Unfortunately, the ESRB's anal-retentive vituperations neglect to take one important factor into consideration: human nature. There is no inconsistency here; the ESRB uses language that would make a sailor blush. If, after hearing facts like that, you still believe that it's okay for the ESRB to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole, then there is obviously no hope for you. Any rational argument must acknowledge this. The ESRB's effrontive strictures, naturally, do not. If you can make any sense out the ESRB's flippant, incontinent beliefs, then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did. The ESRB's long-term goals always follow the same pattern. It puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that it knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. To wrap up, I'll just hit the key elements of this letter one last time. First, all of the ESRB's views about life come straight out of "Teach Yourself Elitism in 30 Minutes". Second, the ESRB's shenanigans are shrouded in a fog of neocolonialism. And finally, one of the most mind-numbing mysteries for those of us who don't like the ESRB is trying to understand people who do.