First of all, I must admit that I stole the title for this column from a line that Jack Black's character in The School of Rock delivered during a heartrending song about how the legend of the rent was way hardcore.

With that out of the way, let's address something a little more pertinent: the impending collision of music and cell phones. Some claim that audio-friendly cell phones could replace MP3 players as soon as next year, although I think it'll be a few years before that happens. On the other hand, ringtones are already a big deal for consumers and labels alike.

Eventually, all ringtones will be so-called "real music" ringtones, which play samples of songs that actually sound like the real-life songs rather than some Casio-keyboard approximations of them. Chances are, the phone you have right now plays the cheesy sounding MIDI variety instead – either monophonic (one note) or polyphonic (more than one note at the same time). Either way, I have included some links at the bottom of this column that will help you create your own monophonic, polyphonic, or real music ringtones. Record labels and cellphone service providers surely wish to keep this information under wraps … but since consumers now expect some degree of control over their technology, that's just the way it goes.

Record execs are all fired up about ringtones...and with good reason. Ringtones of all kinds (monophonic, polyphonic, and real music) are selling like hotcakes to an ever-expanding market of cell phone users. (Next column: Who buys all those hotcakes?) As for cell phone users, many of us happily pay more for a good ringtone than we do for a better-sounding version of the complete song, as odd as that might seem. The world liked ringtones to the tune of $4 billion in 2004 ($300 million from the US alone). This means ringtones generated one full eighth as much money as the rest of the worldwide music industry, and about a third of the US market.

Ringtone revenue constitutes some of the best news record executives have heard in a while. But before the champagne flows, these executives need to remember that people usually buy ringtones of songs they've already purchased. And with the right tools, people can actually transfer music from their own music collections to a growing number of MP3-capable phones. They need to remember that not so long ago, people struggled with ripping CDs...and now, it's just about as easy as playing them, for the average computer user.

Ringtones will follow the same trend, to a certain extent, meaning that the market will be split between those services that offer ready-made ringtones for download and those developers that work on software to turn music into ringtones. As for secure files, you can't use those for ringtones, and you probably never will be able to, since music stores would rather sell ringtones and songs separately (cha-ching).

It's definitely easier to pay for a new ringtone on your phone than it is to create one from a song in your music collection. But when you consider that most services offer a fairly limited catalog, ripping your own ringtones becomes a more attractive option, especially if your tastes run toward the obscure. Most people have music collections that already represent a near-perfect pool of songs from which to choose ringtones. That's why I predict the ringtone market won't be the cash cow the music industry thinks it will be.

As a bonus, I'm going to show you a few ways to create your own ringtones so you can hear sample songs from tunes in your own record collection. It can take a little bit of elbow grease, especially if your phone doesn't support MP3 ringtones. But even if your phone only plays monophonic ringtones, you too can churn out your own 'tones.

Note: Here are two lists of MP3 ringtone-compatible models. They're a good starting point for determining real music ringtone compatibility, but no matter which service you use, check their site to make sure your make and model qualify for what they're selling.

SnipNSend's text list

RingtoneRipper's Web list

If your phone supports MP3 ringtones, and you know how to transfer files from your computer to your phone (via bluetooth, SMS, or USB), I recommend using Audacity to trim your MP3 source file down to the proper length and re-export it as an MP3 of the proper length and attributes. Then, transfer the MP3 onto your phone, and browse to it in your Sounds menu. That way, you can create your own ringtone without paying a cent over the cost of the original song.

If your phone doesn't support real music ringtones, or it does but you don't know how to transfer them to your phone, use one of these services:

This is a simple application for turning CDs or MP3s into real music ringtones. I like that it's easy, but unfortunately, you must join Planet Ringtone in order to use it.

This downloadable shareware program lets you compose your own monophonic or polyphonic ringtones using an onscreen keyboard. Or, if you have a MIDI file of the song you want, this'll convert that too. (Full-featured version costs $19, but free version can create a ringtone.)

The website installs a plug-in in order to grab music from the CD. My favorite, it's the easiest of the lot, costs a flat fee of $1.50 per ringtone, and sends your new ringtone to your phone via SMS.

Download this application and you can make as many monophonic, polyphonic, and real music ringtones as your heart desires. The source sound you want to use has to be in one of these formats: MP3, WAV, WMA (unprotected), MIDI, or CD. It'll cost $20 to create all the ringtones you want.

Learn more about ringtone creation (courtesy of Mike Kohn)