Imagine because you can: Colonel Ham and his merry band of musical perverts...the legendary Infidels....fending off angry hippies after invading to perform amidst an unavoidably sweaty drum circle.....the sensitive earth children quickly turn, frustrated at their intentional inability to grasp the concept of the Colonel's wayward, ridiculous music......"Who invited this buffoon?" they cry, then glare, hiss, whine and emit nervous flatulence....The Colonel cackles....Infidels musically rankle....the Band perseveres to breathe in the ever-thickening air, a veritable confluence of patchouli, weiners, and feet.....BUT, like an explosion of improper-yet-wonderful nether-tickles...the power of an intense musical mockery ignites the combustibly negative miasma of bitterness, despair, body odor, white guilt, blame, and methane permeating the crowd.....a loud FLASH blinds eyes fantastic.....a powerful jolt shakes the collective...YET...there is no pain...only the sweet smoke of odd bliss...a fun fog that lingers, bewilders, and slowly dissipates......and THERE, standing like an erect nipple of cornsexual goodness....Colonel Ham and the Infidels.....irreverent, striking, and proud......remain to bedazzle while the hippies instantly vanish....having been magically transported to a far better place....a heaven where there is only laughter...... Like a smelly tornado continually savaging the same Midwestern trailer park, Colonel Ham and the Infidels savagely belly-shank giggling spleens until human ribs are laughed loose and bodies fall lifeless to the ground......soon you will listen to your favorite terrible hits, gems of disaster such as Camel Toe, I was Molested by a Leprechaun, and Wayne the Pot-Smoking Roommate.....perhaps a new song will birth itself directly in front of your bloodshot eyes.....will there be a massive failure of someones erection?...Indeed!....Will Wendy shame her pants?...she certainly will.