The internet comes correct once again with this hi-larious series of YouTube videos featuring famous guitar shredders with the "suck" knob turned to all the way to eleven. I always knew Santana was a hack. Prepare to LOL and CYP (crap your pants).

While most tour riders offer a little insight into the glamorous life and over-the-top demands of rock stars, Iggy and the Stooges' rider blows the roof off this band's insane, surreal existence. Written by roadie Jos Grain, the document is a whooping 18 pages of madman ramblings and bizarro requests (Bob Hope impersonator? Check). A definite highlight is when describing Mike Watt's monitor needs, Grain casually mentions, "Oh, and during the show, could you just catch his eye and mouth the words 'I love you'? Thanks."

View the tour rider at The Smoking Gun.

There aren't enough words that end in "bag" to adequately describe my dislike for Dane Cook and his misguided attempts at comedy. He's one of those comedians whose massive popularity is in direct proportion to how unfunny he is (you too, Carlos Mencia). Granted his fanbase is almost exclusively of the frat-type college variety, but really these kids should go check out Dave Attell and never look back.

The fact that Cook is doing movies now is extremely disconcerting, but even more so is this new single "Forward." That's right, Dan Cook fancies himself a singer--a mawkish, sensitive, balladering douchebag of a singer. Internet buzz has ranged from bewilderment to open hostility with many questioning the sincerity and intentions of his forays into the music biz. Others have pointed out the bizarre similarities to Chicago's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry." I am comforted knowing I'm not alone in despising this guy.

Listen here:

http://www.rhapsody.com/danecook/forward

The kids love Pavement!

I have no idea when the reclusive musical genius known as Madlib pushed this stunning remix from his mind, but hey who cares when - all that matters is that this version of the Beastie Boys ' classic "Shake Your Rump " exists.

Audio: Listen to free Talib Kweli music here.

You know it's a slow news day when the Drudge Report's main headline is some paranoid nonsense spouted by the famously belligerent ass-bag, Elton John. Doesn't Matt realize that he's just nuts? In this episode Sir Elton does Op-Ed for the Sun UK, stating that "there's too much technology available" and "hopefully the next movement in music will tear down the internet." He then completely destroys all credibility by admitting he is "the biggest technophobe of all time" who doesn't "have a mobile phone or an iPod or anything."

Elton John is no stranger to hyperbole--in the past he's suggested a ban on all organized religion and that all photographers should be shot. Maybe he's mad that his last record sold a measly 100,000 copies while over-hyped and overrated internet-stars such as Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Lily Allen are plowing ahead of him.

Whatever, Internetz rule.

So webcasters have been trying to hash out fair performance royalties with Congress for a minute now. Yeah. Good luck on that on that one. When was the last time the U.S. government seriously funded the Arts?

In any event, below is a spine-freezing Bush quote from a speech at the Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center in Nashville, Tennessee.

Question: Mr. President, music is one of our largest exports the country has. Currently, every country in the world -- except China, Iran, North Korea, Rwanda and the United States -- pay a statutory royalty to the performing artists for radio and television air play. Would your administration consider changing our laws to align it with the rest of the world?

The President: Help. (Laughter.) Maybe you've never had a President say this -- I have, like, no earthly idea what you're talking about. (Laughter and applause.) Sounds like we're keeping interesting company, you know? (Laughter.)

Look, I'll give you the old classic: contact my office, will you? (Laughter.) I really don't -- I'm totally out of my lane. I like listening to country music, if that helps. (Laughter.)

Thanks to Eliot Van Buskirk for posting this one at WIRED .

I cannot claim to be a fan of Interpol , and the idea of Liars touring with the brooding New Yorkers is a head-scratcher, but nonetheless any chance to see Liars is awesome.

Liars self-titled album drops next month. Until then here is the brand new video for "Plaster Casts of Everything" directed by Patrick Daughters.




INTERPOL/LIARS TOUR DATES
09-10 Albany, NY - Palace Theatre
09-12 Boston, MA - Agganis Arena
09-14 New York, NY - Madison Square Garden
09-15 Philadelphia, PA - Tower Theatre
09-16 Raleigh, NC - Disco Rodeo
09-18 Orlando, FL - Hard Rock Live
09-19 Miami, FL - BankUnited Center
09-21 Atlanta, GA - Tabernacle
09-22 Nashville, TN - Ryman Auditorium
09-23 New Orleans, LA - Sugar Mill
09-25 Houston, TX - Verizon Wireless Theatre
09-26 Austin, TX - Stubb's Bar-B-Q
09-27 Dallas, TX - Palladium
10-10 Kansas City, KS - Uptown
10-12 Minneapolis, MN - State Theatre
10-14 Denver, CO - Fillmore
10-15 Salt Lake City, UT - McKay Center
10-16 Boise, ID - Big Easy
10-18 Seattle, WA - WaMu Theater
10-19 Portland, OR - Memorial Coliseum
10-20 San Francisco, CA - Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
10-23 Los Angeles, CA - The Forum

Better hyrup with the syrup, cuz these guys know how to make some mutha-flippin' pancackes (get it?--flippin'?). (via Radar Online).

Words fail me. Italo Disco star Max Him has never failed me.

Well, of all the things I thought I would never see in my life Deerhoof on Carson Daly ranks pretty high. Not quite as high as the U.S. government admitting its part in the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., but still pretty high.

Forty years ago this week, one of the greatest artists in the history of music passed away. YouTube is loaded with the inane and the mundane, but it is also a treasure trove for timeless music. On the 40th anniversary of John Coltrane's death, here's a performance of the song "Alabama" on the TV show Jazz Casual by the John Coltrane Quartet.

Lily Allen is no Amy Winehouse but you have to love her bubbly Britishness. In this lovely segment she shares her little secret with the entire world - or at least Anglophiles and Youtube addicts.

If you think DJ Unk came up with "Walkin It Out" you are sorely mistaken. Below is video proof that the popular dance was originated by the late, great Tony award winning dancer and actress Gwen Verdon:

I think I wet myself. This may be the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. FINISH HIM!

Watch a free stream of Amy performing live at Norway's Hovefestivalen, a brand new five-day festival which was held June 25-29 on the island of Tromøy.