WARNING: LONG angry blog ensues.

Why?

Why is it that all the shows I watch seem to never follow through with what they build up?

First of all, let's start with SVU. Now that's a given. I sorta gave up on watching Law and Order SVU primarily because the tension between elliot and Olivia that has been built up for years is now pretty much nonexistent. No more close moments, heart-to-hearts...no more eye-sex. Nothing. Where is the sexual tension that we used to see back in Season 6-7? Where's the "You're the longest relationship I've ever had with a man" feelings? What, now that Elliot has knocked up Kathy yet again, only prolonging an already broken marriage, Olivia pretends her feelings for Elliot have never existed? What is it with writers these days?!

After giving up on SVU, I started making up for the lack of shipping with House and Cuddy's interesting dynamic. Finally, a show that was actually going forward with built up sexual tension...Or so I thought. I started watching soon after I saw the Huddy kiss, which felt so....satisfying. Relieving. But of course, it was something that was only momentary and they both have since fallen back to their unrequited love phase. Post-huddy kiss episodes have been riling with explosive sexual tension, from House indirectly complimenting Cuddy, to Cuddy's longing looks at House....It was pretty much obvious at this point that eventual 'tension relief' was inevitable.

Which brings me to the last couple of episodes of House. The Huddy excitement begins in Under My Skin, when House retreats to Cuddy's office and asks her to help him with detoxing. Cuddy agrees and, after a long night of unpleasant nausea, withdrawal, and utter misery on House's part, Cuddy admits her feelings towards House. There is a long pause. They are both staring at each other. Both acknowledge they are alone. Awkward, yet HOT and WELCOMING sexual tension ensues...which culminates in hot, fiery passionate sex.

The finale was much invited as well for Huddy fans around the world. House's expected pompous attitude over his deed was definitely entertaining, as well as Cuddy's attempts to forget about what happened the night before. All was well, until the last ten minutes of the finale, which just blew me away...in a BAD way.

Which brings me to this point.

REALLY?!

Really, House TPTB? Was it really necessary to make everything all part of House's hallucinations?! I felt so cheated, betrayed, and fooled. For once, I thought there was actually a show out there that followed through with a relationship, but apparently I was blatantly wrong. For once, I thought House was going to be happy, for once I thought House was truly not in pain. But of course, the writers decided it would be nice to pull the rug right out from under all of us and make it all, well, an illusion. a figment of House's imagination--mentally ill imagination, to be exact. And now, we are back to square one. except now, it is more apparent that House is pining for Cuddy, which makes it all the more painful to watch now that we know that the Huddy romance of these last couple of episodes never happened.

I have never been more disappointed about a show in my life. I don't even know what is worse--SVU for pretending that EO no longer exists, or House for deceiving everyone.

There is really no purpose for me to watch TV nowadays. It's not like I even had a TV to watch here in the first place.

HOUSE! I have become so hung up on the Huddy ship because they are actually making PROGRESS and ADDRESSING the UST. In 2 days, we will hear the MOANS heard around the world ( ) when House and Cuddy get it on!

Now if David Shore and Katie Jacobs were able to work this out on House, why can't Neal Baer and Dick Wolf do the same for SVU? As you can see, I'm pretty disappointed as to how they handled the relationship between Olivia and Elliot. After YEARS of Unresolved sexual tension building up, it has come to this-- a few jokes and glances here and there. No more hugs, no more hints, no more EO. WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On TV, that is.

The most painful thing to watch on TV is to watch someone you have grown to adore/connect with die, right there in front of you in your living room, essentially.

And now I'm going to be witnessing this in the spring, when someone's going to be "biting the dust" in both my favorite shows, SVU and House.

Well, I'm not completely sure if "biting the dust" really applies to a character death on SVU but it does seem apparent though....

Anyway, I digress. Sure, it may make some great drama to watch, but it's just so heartbreaking and gutwrenching to witness, especially if it's going to be on a season finale, where we would just be left in shards for 3-4 months, knowing nothing of its impact til next season's premiere.

One of the saddest character deaths that I have seen was the death of Dr. Mark Greene on ER. He was one of my favorite doctors on that show, and watching the episode ("On the Beach" Season in which he succumbs to his brain tumor had left me sobbing in my throw pillow as the tunes of "Over the Rainbow" by Brother Iz played on relentlessly.

...And now, I will have to go through the same tears, and crumpled tissues again, when I watch a favorite character die on House and possibly SVU. At least this time, I won't be alone...I'll be crying along with all my fan friends!

Hi peoples! Many thanks for those of you who dropped by my previous blog! I haven't seen a lot of you in AGES and it was really nice of you to come out of your caves

I'm on spring break this week...but I can't believe it's almost over! I will be greeted by a psych exam, 2 papers and numerous reading assignments once I go back to Tufts.....kill me now. x_x

On the brighter note, I watched Watchmen yesterday and it was AMAZING. You know those movies where you have no idea what it's going to be about so you go to the movie with a blank slate? Well that's what I did--at first I thought Watchmen was going to be about some sort of historical military movie, but little did I know it was a movie based on an action comic, and it wasn't just any comic. The storyline was very deep and unique. I really liked the alternate 80s, and I really really liked all the metaphysical aspects of the movie--Watchmen has touched upon a lot of different conceptual topics. Some parts were a bit too much, though..I didn't really appreciate all the gore

Next thing is...I FINALLY have internet again at home! And this time it's not the neighbor's internet My parents finally (and wisely) decided to consolidate the cable, International cable, and the phone into one service as well as add on internet (a SUPER plus for me and my sister)! We had Verizon FiOS installed in our home, which has probably been one of the biggest upgrades my family has made in terms of technology since we bought the HD tv in the living room.

And last but not least, the FACEBOOK covenant. I have one word to describe how I'm feeling right now, now having survived without facebook for 3 weeks, and it is:

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm NEVER giving up facebook again. It is so..........PAINFUL!

Well, I guess that's all I have to say for now. It's nice being back on here, blogging like the good old days!

Everyone has gone to hide in their caves! Where is everyone nowadays? Ok, I know you're probably thinking that I shouldn't be the one talking but hey, I've been living a busy life here...being a sleep-deprived work-overloaded college freshman. But really though...where is everyone?

abanana?

dramaqueen?

svuiskool?

jo_idnew?

mandy_gough?

mariska_143?

eoshipper?

EO_forever?

LAW-ORDER?

ourkissgoodbye?

gumcurls?

MaRSSBAR? (I think you changed your screenname but I forgot what it was!)

emeraldmile?

CSM135?

Bensonrocks?

fransmith05?

WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is Ash Wednesday, and some of you know what that means.....

Ash crosses rubbed onto your forehead...

Fasting...

Cleansing....

and Sacrifice.

Sacrifice has been something that people don't do enough these days...well at least in the younger generations. Sure we can make small sacrifices in lent....like giving up a favorite food....giving up a favorite TV show...

But not many people make sacrifices that have a big enough impact on their lives. I know I definitely haven't.

I didn't even give anything up for lent last year.

But this time, things are gonna change.

This time, I'm going to take this seriously, because I definitely haven't been a serious Catholic lately.

So I'm giving up Facebook for lent.

to the forces of the world of blogging.

luminescencelender.blogspot.com .

read it.

pretty please?

I am living in a controlled chaos.

My c.l.a.s.ses aren't any harder than the APs I took in high school.......
except
BIO 13.

What a perfect number for the HARDEST CL-ass in NEW ENGLAND.

I have never spent 7 nights straight studying for an exam...until I came here.

I have never been on a cruise party before I came here....

...nor have I ever been so close to death trying to get on a bus to Target.

We contain insect infestations by ducktaping the crevices they are hiding in.

And there's nothing like getting paid nearly $10/hr to sit around, alone, and do nothing.

"Let's make this a slowdance" is NOT a c-lassy pick-up line and will NOT get you laid.

Scotch tape doesn't stick to brick walls.

Create a secret signal with your friends before entering sketchy parties.

Don't kidnap your friend's favorite stuffed animal.

There's nothing like hailing a cab at 3am.

You think fire alarms in high school are bad? Wait til you come to college, where they can literally haunt you in your sleep.

Beware of what you can see in the windows of the dorm that you live across from.

And on that note, window shades were invented for a reason.

There's also a reason why no one's at the dining halls on a Saturday Night.

In college, Halloween is taken to a whole new level.

In college, weekends start on THURSDAY.

It's pretty easy to get carried away in a deep conversation with the people you live with. I once stayed up until 4:30am just talking.

Sunday night is NOT a good time to do laundry.

There are good things and bad things when it comes to being extroverted at orientation. Don't be surprised when your phonebook overflows with the numbers of people you would probably never see again.

Also, be prepared to introduce yourself at least 200-300 times during Orientation week.

Yes, it IS awkward to meet people whom you've initially met on Facebook.

After a couple of weeks I started thinking how the hell I was able to wake up at 6am back in high school whereas now, I sleep through my 10:30am c.l.as.s.

It's hard to believe how close I can become with people that I have only known for 4 months. It feels like I've known my new friends for YEARS.

Friendships made in college have the potential to be stronger and more meaningful than those made in high school.

I came into college thinking my old life would be over and a new one would begin. But I have come to realize that it has actually deepened the journey that I have already embarked on.

5 great memories:

1) Walking/exploring the beautiful streets of Boston at night.

2) Sledding down the President's Lawn on a lunch tray.

3) Watching my friend chasing after her floormates who stole her life-size cardboard cut-out of Edward Cullen.

4) Seeing Hellogoodbye perform at our school.

5) Spontaneous Dance Parties

5 memories to forget:

1) Seeing all those naked people run around the quad for the annual Naked Quad Run on the last night of the semester.

2) That random guy who danced with me at a party and tried to kiss me -_-

3) Playing Kings...and not being able to remember the rest of that night.

4) Getting $hitfaced on the last weekend before break, rolling around the floor, and losing my socks.

5) Finals week.

I know, I know, LONG TIME NO BLOG. There is just too much to write about now....Too many things (both exciting and non-exciting) have happened within these past couple of months...from starting COLLEGE to almost getting kissed by a random guy in a cruise party. (BLECH!) You're probably wondering where the hell I have been....And the answer is.....EVERYWHERE. haha. But before I go into any details, I would like for all of you to answer some questions first.

So, blogreaders, let's see if you still remember me, the innocent cave-dweller.

How are you? How's life?

Anything new or interesting for the past couple of months that I haven't been here (and on the SVU forum)? And yes, I've definitely noticed how the layout of the website has changed DRASTICALLY.

What would you like me to talk about first in my next blog? College life? Love life? Well, actually, my lovelife is sorta non-existent right now....

Hope everyone's doing well! And I hope people still know that I exist.....

Long time no blog! I have been crazy busy, what with the musical, finals, studio advisory board retreats, senior prom, and graduation all in the mix, I haven't really found time to blog in the midst of all this craziness. I dont even know where to begin. Well I guess I will talk about prom first, which was, of course, AMAZING. My prom date was that guy that I liked...and all though we danced some slow dances, there wasnt really any sparks between us. Oh well. Hes still a scumbag anyways..Oh crap, I havent even told you guys about THAT story...well lets just say, I dont trust that guy anymore. Now..graduation. The whole ceremony was soooo surreal. I still cant believe I finally graduated. Whats more, I graduated summa cum laude...which is crazy beans! haha. Its going to be weird not complaining about how crappy my school is...not worrying about studying for some random test...not seeing the same friends I always see in the hallways...

Well here's some pictures to end this blog.

Well before I start talking about this stupid weather, let me wish Amy (dramaqueen0 a Happy Birthday!!!!!

Next up, is wtf is up with the weather here in RI today?!?!?!?!!!! It's friggin May 1, it's supposed to be like 75 degrees out, but NO, I wake up to an effing FROST ADVISORY?! 36 degrees out! UGH. Warm weather, COME BACK!

SO I finally came to a conclusion that Tufts University is the PERFECT fit for me. Here's some reasons why I am choosing to go to Tufts...

1. It's minutes away from Boston, my all time favorite city!

2. It's very diverse! That's always a plus!

3. It has my major of interest, Biopsychology as well as a really good japanese language program

4. the professors are always accesible and very supportive

5. Smaller classes, any class over 100 people is EXTREMELY rare

6. It's extremely hard to get into--only 25% get accepted! Which means that most people who are going to Tufts are motivated/focused/outgoing, which is a student body i want to be a part of.

7. And finally, it will only cost us $8000/yr to go, which is cheaper than my state school, URI!

Can't wait to be a Jumbo!!!

Accepted:
Clark University
College of the Holy Cross
Tufts University
Boston University
Massachusetts college of Pharmacy and Health Sciences
Union College
University of Rhode Island

Waitlisted:

Quinnipiac U.
Brown University

Rejected:

Dartmouth

Well so far Boston University's my top choice because they're giving me a hell of a lot of money (41,000 this year!) But Idk....

Well, since I'm still in the poetry mood, here's another one that I've been working on. Will update soon. Tell me how you think it is so far! It's kinda sucky right now since it's only my first draft... Read it out loud to get the best effect.

Untitled

Love at first sight.
Yea.
That's what they say
right from that first day,
that first glance is enough to blow me away.
Hoping this spark lasts forever
that it would never decay
from the moment you say hey
to the day you stray
from my life.
You are that shining light on my mind,
so bright that most of the time
you leave me blind
to the point where I can't unwind
all these kinds of feelings inside me.

So I had to make a 2-quatrain A-B-C-B rhyming schemed poem for AP Lit, and I want you guys to have a sneak peek. Here goes!:

Red

This color of red has chosen a home for itself inside me.
From within, now, a fiery lava has bled
out of my soul, of my heart, of my mind, of my eyes
from which these scarlet tears have been shed.

My Love, you have forsaken me again
like a magician you've fooled me with your acts
may you see red too, may your confidence be unglued
For it is sincerity and validity that you have lacked.

Ok, so it's not really based on a true story, but the first stanza sorta was the way I've been feeling lately. Don't worry, my lover has not betrayed me or anything (although a friend of mine has...I'll save that story for a later blog if y'all want to know...). So what do you guys think?

Well well well.....thought I'd be able to avoid this but oh well, it's been long overdue! Yours truly has been tagged! Here's my 5 facts:

1. I love science and I love helping people. Loving science + Loving to help people = I want to be a doctor some day.

2. One day when I was a freshman in high school, I got whacked in the head with a metal baseball bat. I got 8 stitches on my left eyebrow....sooo much blood..... Don't worry, I wasn't in a fight or anything, it was all an accident in gym class... Any higher, I would've gotten brain damage, any lower, I would've been blind in the left eye. Thank God it was just a laceration

3. I LOOOOOVE to play the piano. Especially playing fun songs like Scott Joplin's The Entertainer and Maple Leaf Rag. I learned how to play a piano using a 49-key keyboard. and only 2 years of piano lessons when I was 7-8 yrs old. (yea, I had to end up teaching myself everything else...)

4. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......I got accepted to 3 colleges so far.........( URI, Clark University, Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences).........

5...........and I got a $60,000 scholarship from Clark, and a $44,000 scholarship from MCPHS!

Yayyyy.....lol. That's 5 facts. Which reminds me....I need to update my profile! haha. I'll do that later...i guess....need to do my pre-calc hw.......

is a mysterious thing. It makes me feel a lot of different feelings. It floods my mind with many emotions, many thoughts that I can't get rid of....many thoughts about this one particular person. I may be a confident person but not when it comes to love and the opposite sex. You see, I developed a crush on someone that I've known for 6-7 years, and just last summer I started looking at him through a different perspective. He does so many things that make me feel....weird inside. Not weird weird, but lovey-dovey kinda weird. He's such a joker, so I don't know whether he is actually flirting with me or if he's just fooling around. Especially when he says he "loves" me or when he says I "don't love" him because of something I did lol.

There were times when he would call me a LOT and leave me random voicemail messages. I remember one time he called me just to say that he was at Dick's Sporting Goods...Other times he'd call and he'd start saying random things just to keep the conversation going. He always pokes my face and he always says the weirdest thingst to me. And the list can go on and on.

And then there were times when he doesn't call me and I don't see him for a long period of time. THose are the times when I try to get over him and this infatuation phase. I try to get over him because I feel that nothing's gonna happen between us, but then when I see him again, I fall for him all over again.

Deep inside I wish I had the strength to tell him straight forward my true feelings for him, but I stop myself because I'm afraid it may make things awkward between us, since he's my cousin's best friend and my cousins consider him to be like part of the family, or maybe he only likes me as a friend.

As usual, I was dreading Valentine's day, for it just rubs in your face the fact that you don't have a special someone to give you a box of chocolates or roses or something. Even though I despised V-day, I still made a little V-day card folder at the art studio so other people at the studio can give me cute little cards and other V-day tidbits. When I checked my folder yesterday, I found plenty of cards from friends, but one of them caught my eye. It was a red paper heart, and on it was something written in my crush's handwriting:

"What to say other than what is in your heart most go to that person and give a kiss. Don't live with regret, just live in the moment."

When I read this, I honestly didn't know what to think. Well, first, I let my friend read it, and she instantly grinned because she knew that my crush had written this because saw him write it, and also because she thinks that he's trying to tell me something. These were the questions that were on my mind: Does he know that I like him? Does he want me to kiss him?

I think it's the most meaningful present that someone has ever given to me. What do you guys think?