Ok, so I have been gone an awfully long time.  I will be the first to admit that.  And while I have tried to get my but back here to the forums, I have to admit that it was not very hard.  Mostly it was a case of "I will think about thinking about going back"

Yes, I am a procrastinator.

But then something happens that shakes your view of the order of the universe.  You realize there is important, and then there is Important.  Family and friends fall into that second category.

I am a man of many words.  It is not so much that I enjoy hearing myself speak (I know written word and all) it is just that I enjoy the power that these words give.  They have the ability to express our innermost thoughts and convey new ideas.  They have a marked inability to accurately convey emotion.

A poet attempts to wrestle words into emotive phrases.  He takes our collective understanding of the feel of a word, and uses that word to make us feel something.

Take for example the words Bright and Garish.  Both have similar meanings, but completely different feels.

But I digress.  I digress because I am faced with a situation that I am truly incapable of dealing with.

It is not the possiblility of death that I can not handle.  Death has been a constant companion, shall we say.  As someone who has been cursed, at times like these, with a too perfect memory, I remember the loss of many relatives.  That is something I can handle.  Possibly due to my belief that this world is not the end, possibly due to something else.  I don't really know myself.  It is just that death, even sudden death, has never bothered me.

What bothers me is the inbetween.  That state that exists that is not living, except in the clinical sense, and is not death either.  Life exists to be taken advantage of.  We go out and, to greater or lesser degree, experience what life has to throw at us.

But there are things that laught in the face of life.  Disease, severe injury.  These things I hate.

I guess it is that simple.  I hate the things that cause pain.  I hate pain.

I don't know that I have a point.

I have rambled enough.

Don't know what else to say.

I just hope that sometime soon, BB can yell at me for my stupidity.

Get well,  BB.

You are missed.

Ok, so I have now finished my first two days of 12 hour shifts. Just two more and I get a weekend. I have to say that it is not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I was given some fairly big leeway for what I do after 5pm, so it is actually a lot like being at home. Get to watch my shows (on the computer of course). Get to spend time with my Wife (she comes in, we moved her computer here for the week)

We will see how things shape up for the future, but for now, at least I will be able to see the shows that I come here for

Ok, so, because I am currently the only one answering the phones at my place of business (receptionist/tech geek/sales guy/billing person all in one) and we have decided to open them up 12 hours a day on weekdays (luckily I still have my weekends). This means that over the comming week, I am going to be actually working from 9am to 9pm. Now, since this is something I basically volunteered for, I have only myself to blame.

But it does make me wonder: When is enough REALLY enough? I mean, I have a really sweet gig here. I am actually typing this blog while here at work. Another 4 hours a day (was already working 8 hours straight) is not much, but that puts me here at work (while not nescesarily working) from 7am to 9pm or 14 hours. So, 2 hours doing whatever, and then 12 hours tied to the phone. 40 minutes a day in travel time. 8 hours a night of sleep (I hope, insomniac remeber ) and that brings the total time of my life that is used up to 23 hours. That means I get 1 hour a day that is not used up completely.

So have I gone just too far? I don't THINK so, but of course, I am on the inside looking out. Well, whatever the case is, here is to the first in a series of very long days.

At least I still get paid overtime

Two things actually impinged themselves upon an otherwise normal weekend. Well, more than that actually, since this weekend was nothing like normal, but two things I would like to post about.

The first was that I watched Supernatural for the first time this weekend. Well, I have to say, that although it is well made, I dislike it. My main problem with it is, that I have led a really strange life. I have had the unfortunate experience to actually deal with the aftermaths of what the people truly believed to be demonic possession. I have dealt with evil spirits, both non-corporeal, and those who make wrong descisions and choose the path of evil. I have lost any and all real enjoyment I could possibly have of this type of entertainment. I find it belittling to the people who have had real problems to show it in this way. Now, am I sure without a doubt that these sorts of things happen, or might happen? No. But I have known those who are sure that they have had "an experience" and am not willing to discount their telling as a fabrication. Especially since I have never caught them in a lie about anything significant.

End result: Sure, some people may like the show, and it is well made, but it is not for me. (incidentally, my wife really likes it)

Second, I picked up a copy of Kingdom Hearts II. It is very rarely that I will pick up a game, even more a sequel, and find nothing to nit-pick. Kingdom Hearts II is one of those very rare games. They took all of the problems with the first game, the little quirks, and erased them. Then they added more things to the game, and they are almost perfect as well. In fact they took something very near to perfection (the Gummy Ship construction) and made it better in ways I did not even conceive when playing the first game. In all, this is a game that tops my list (currently of course) as the best game of all time. That is saying something, since I played the first game more than any other game I have owned (except for an MMO ) clocking in more than 300 hours of play. It used to be the most well constructed (and therefore the best) game in my opinion. This one just takes it to the next level. If you play RPG games, this is a must have. If you enjoy the works of the Walt Disney company, then this is a must have. If you enjoy the works of Square Soft, then this is a must have.

So, getting back to the regular (more regular?) portions of my weekend, I had my daughter with me. Always fun. She is a very active little girl. She is, to put it simply, a girl. She loves dresses and getting all dolled up (hair and everything) and racecars and trains and playing outside, and running, and dolls, and painting, and so on. Thank goodness she is only 6. Don't think I will be able to keep up with her when she is 16.

Well, that is enough for today, especially since I am sure that I have taken up more than enough room with my interest in a subject some would say is childish

Peace out.

Ok, So, yesterday I had a somewhat depressed air to me. It is not so much that I am depressed, but more that I am just tired. I am ready for the weekend, but it is only thursday. Oh well. I guess I am just going to have to keep moving for two more days.

I am a bit of an optimist, it is just I tend to say what I don't want to happen so that it tempers my dissapointment if/when it does not happen the way I want it too.

Wow, write for three days in a row, and suddenly you find you have nothing to say. Not that I have nothing to say, it is just that I do not know WHAT to say.

I am going to end it now, before I get REALLY lame