hey guys yeah im sort of sick i have a small fever but i cant go to my rehersal tonite if its there please pray it goes away so i can do my show this week

IM A SPANDY FAN! so i really hope that the marriage is real!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is gonna stay up all night to watch the ball drop to 2009!? ME!!! Happy New Years Eve! We made it!

Merry Chrsitmas to all my friends at t.v.com! I hope you will have a wonderful Chrsitmas!!!

Have you ever gotten that feeling that apart of your heart is screaming at you to do something? My heart is doing it right now. Well there is this guy I like, we have been friends for a year. I wanna tell him, but I don't wanna ruin our friendship. What should I do?

My heart is feeling more full again. Thank you to everyone! I'm still not ready to talk about what happened sorry. P.S thank you sweet_jane for the very warm blog post it made feel feel better. *Hugs!* I'll keep updating how things are going. Love you guys!

Fairly Odd Parents New Tonight!!!

All FOP Fans better watch!!!

I'm back for good! Sorry I've been away wanna know why go to deviantart.com and Look up FOPDreamer as a username it's me!

Well last night was the last time I saw my friend. It was so hard to say goodbye. We had as much fun as possible. We had to take down the set, and so he wanted me to help him get the screws out of the platforms that we were standing on. After we were done we went to the lobby of the theatre he had his stuff, and his car keys out. My guess was that he was leaving. I asked him "Is this the last time I'm ever gonna see you?" He answered "Probably." That answer crushed my heart. I followed him out, but I didn't go to the car. As I watched him walk to his car I started cry. I whispered "Goodbye I love you. I'm going to miss you so much." Right before he got into the car I shoted as loud as I could "Goodbye! Goodbye!" He got in his car and right as he saw me he honked his horn, and waved goodbye. Then he drove away. I started breaking down at that point. My other friend saw me he's 15. He asked me "What are you doing out here?" "Just saying goodbye to a friend.' I said choking up. "You're all emotional aren't you?" He said. He dropped his stuff, and opened his arms. I ran into his arms and just sobbed. He hugged me very tight and said "It's okay don't cry. He'll come back to visit." "No he won't." I said And I can't write anymore it's too sad.

Well my show is tomorrow I'm excited, but also sad. This is my friends last show he's graduating. Now I'm afraid that he won't do the other theatre company that we do together. Which means this COULD be the very last time I see him. I've been preparing my self for this day for a while. This might be the time to let go of a very dear friend. *Sniff.* I'm sorry. Since the show is the day before his 18th birthday I'll make him a card. It'll be a birthday/goodbye card. I'm not the only one feeling this way all his close friends in the show are feeling very sad too. My friend especially. So any advice on how to say goodbye without breaking down?

Today me, my mom, and my dad are going to see The Phantom Of The Opera. I'm wearing a red and black halter dress. My hair is also in beautiful curls, and I'm wearing make up. IMO I look like a Princess, and I feel like one... COOL!

Chapter 2 is up on "Together We Stand" it's on fan fiction it's getting good reviews I'm so excited! It's a fairly odd parents story!

I've been doing alot of thinking lately. Mostly about the guy I will marry. But after all the boyfriends I've had so far I'm starting to wonder if the right guy is out there somewhere. My friends at theatre tell me that he's out there. My other firend tells me just to be patient, and wait. He tells me that there is a guy out there who will love you for who you are. That means alot to me he looks after me. It's every little girls dream to get married. I know that my friend doesn't want me to grow up too fast. He likes me being his little sister. But I won't be little forever. Any advice?

So here is how my weekend went. I went to rehearsal saturday and sunday all day long! So you know my friend who was sad well now he's not. Well he tells me not to touch his folder or else he'll pick me up. Me thinking he's kidding starts poking the folding and saying "Look I'm touching your folder! Oooo!" So then guess what he does he picks me up flips me upside down and starts tickling me. Next time I'll think I'll listen. Funny huh?

Things are improving. My family isn't aruguing, I'm not fainting anymore, and I'm alot more happier. Oh here's the best part my friend is feeling happier too. When I walked into the room he smiled. He was laughing and playing with me again. Thank you guys so much for your love and support! Praise God!

I'm starting to get very stressed. My family is arguing. Another thing to worry about is that I'm not feeling well. If anyone could post a reach out blog for me to let more people know on t.v.com what's going on that'd help. Plus my friend still hasn't ansered the phone. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE!!! I've been close to passing out more than once lately. I just can't handle things anymore.

*Sigh* I'm losing hope in my mission to help my friend. He hasn't answered his phone in a while which worries me. I hope he's alright. I hope he hasn't done anything stupid. Gasp would if he has. I'm so scared...

Well I saw him yesterday. We had a LONG conversation. I told him that I wanted to help him. He said "You can't help me you're too small." That really crushed me into tears. I'm not gonna let that stop me! Or maybe he's right maybe I'm too small, and weak. I just wanna grrr I'm so upset!

I'm so worried about my friend. I don't want him to kill himself. I could never get over it! This has hurt me more than ever! What do I do?! I'm desperate for advice! Any advice that help me save my friend. I can't stop thinking about him! Ever since that day I've been crying too many tears constantly! I've got to do something, but what!? I'll miss him so much if does it! No more hugs, no more hellos, no more anything!!!

Okay this is very deep. One of my best friends called me to see if I was happy, and doing good. He's one of my sweetest friends ever he's like an older brother to me. He's four years older than me. Anyway he said... "I'm going to ask you a question, but I want you to sit down if you wanna hear it." I said... "Okay." So I sat down. "Are you ready to hear it?" He asked me. "Yes." I said. "Okay what would you do if I killed my self?" As soon as he finished tears started coming out of my eyes, and I was speechless for five minutes. I finally replied... 'I'd be very sad, and not believe it! You haven't been thinking about it recently have you?" I aked on the brink of breaking down crying. "No not recently." He answered. "Please just don't even do it. You'd be hurting youreslf and everyone around you who loves you. I especialy. I love you very much like my own older brother." That's all I can think of, but could you imagine a friend that you loved very much asked you that? I still can't. If there are any Christians out there please keep him in your prayers, and me! I'm still shocked.