Last Saturday marks the passing of a longtime friend of mine, who, for the last seven or eight years, kept me entertained every week. Yes, Tom, the robot host of Toonami, has passed away of a very common disease, Exodus viewerii. Longtime girlfriend SARA says, "After Dragonball Z ran its course, Tom seemed to become sicker every day. The doctors tried everything, including emergency treatments of a serum of double Naruto, but even that didn't work. After One Piece ran out, the decision was made to remove life support." Executives from Cartoon Network were unable to give any statements in person, but issued this statement through lawyer Jack Samurai, "It is very sad when a longtime employee and cash cow passes, but at least he's in a better place, with his friends Toonami Midnight Run, Power Zone, and Miguzi."

Tom leaves behind his co-workers, Flash, that other robot guy, and longtime friend Steven Blum.

This is the end, beautiful friend, the end. You know, I've been watching Toonami ever since it made the switch to anime, and there were a hell of a lot of good shows that aired on it (Ronin Warriors and Gundam Wing FTW). It's sad to see the end of an era like that, and it begs the question "How the hell can they still call it Cartoon Network if they air live action stuff for like 12 hours of the day?"

My deepest apologies to all the Naruto fans out there that will never get to see how the Ramen Noodle episode is resolved. I can only hope that the cancellation of Toonami and all the recent "scheduling changes" aren't an omen that CN isn't going to stop hooking me up with that lovely intoxicant called anime.