First, thanks so much for all your advice, and sorry I didn't respond, things were kinda crazy. So big hugs to you all, seriouslyit meant a lot to know you all cared.


So, I took many of my friends advice (including all of you, thanks so much) and I told him how I felt. That I didn't think marriage was for me, but I still loved him and wanted to be with him, and I had no plans of ever leaving him, I just don't think marriage s right for me.

He said he understood and he still loved me and would be with me on whatever terms I wanted, all that mattered is that he was with me. He also told me to keep the ring, (I wear on my right hand) because I am the only one he would ever want to give a ring to. *cue the aww's*

If it were that simple, it wouldn't be real life.

I swear, once we talked it out, things shifted in our relationship, there's a distance now. Maybe he is trying to deal with the change from thinking we would be married to 'not' being married anymore. Maybe it's me, mayne I am pulling away because I think that if he really knew me at all, he wouldn't have proposed in the first place. Or maybe it's just all in my head, and nothing's changed.

Either way, I feel another talk coming on, and I have a feeling it is gonna be harder than the last one.

Sorry to be so d@mn depressing when I come on here, it just helps to get my thoughts down, and he would NEVER come on here, so sorry that you all have to suffer through my drama.

A goody for you if you stuck it out and read all that:

Sorry for my absence people, but apparently you may have to get used to it.
RANT FOLLOWS, so SKIP if you don't care

I tried to spoiler tag, but it wouldn't let me, so here goes...I was completely blindsided on New Year's Eve by a proposal from the BF, and some of you (probably most of you actually) will think I am a totaly b!tch, because well, the title of my blog was the response I gave (minus the WTF?! part). I never thought of the BF as a cheesy guy, but I may have overlooked that because he proposed at the stroke of midnight, saying something along the lines of wanting to spend this year along with all the rest of our years together, but see I can't remember EXACTLY what he said because I had been drinking , as is the tradition on New Years Eve. The very very bad part is that he wasn't joking, and long(er) story short, he had been planning it, and his family knows. So, now I have to muster up an answer, and yes, I have still not answered him, because well I can't make up my mind. I have spent the better part of the year surrounded by his family, and I love them all dearly, but he thinks if we get married that we should live out here near them, and I have severly missed my friends and family since I came out here with him. Part of me also thinks that he only proposed because of his family drama this year (if you don't know what I am talking about, don't worry, but I don't want to bore you more than I already have rehashing the story), and another part of me is touched because, well hello, proposal. BUT the biggest part of me is p!ssed. I mean, I thought he knew me, and if he knew me and respected my feelings he would have NEVER proposed. My parents are the worst example of 'staying together for the family' and I swore that I would never do that, and I don't really believe in the 'sanctity of marriage' hoopla, I just never wanted to get married, so I am p!ssed that he is being so selfish that he wants me to do what he wants to do, no matter what my feelings are on the subject. BUT, then I think that maybe I can compromise. I mean, he's wonderful, he's always there for me, and he always gives me space when I need it, like he hasn't pressured me (too much) for an answer yet, and if I don't believe in marriage, so what? Maybe he will prove me wrong...so yeah, that is the jumble of emotions (seriously edited cause I don't want you all to hate me) I am going through right now, cause I don't wanna say no and lose him, but I don't want to say yes if I think I am gonna resent him in the future. Any suggestions? and you may ask WHY I am posting this here? Well, I have been frantically emailing one particular person here for advice, and I don't want her to start hating opening her already crowded email folder, so I figured I would rant to the masses, and maybe it would ease my nerves a little, so yeah, that's where I am. Hence the NO time for being on here, cause my mind is elsewhere.

Oh, and P.S. I Love You? Sooooooo NOT what I expected, and well, OhB knows how I feel about JDM's character (not the actor people, the character he played) becauseshe feels the same way, what can I say sweetie, great minds...

OH, and if you got through that, and heck even if you just skipped down here, I thought I should leave you with a goody; a pic of the Mayor

***SPOILER***

Stupid spoiler tags don't work, so here is the blog for friday, sorry about the pics taking up space, and I am doing it early because I am going to see that movie tomorrow!

Okay people, I saved the best for last, well, besides the fact that there are four choice hotties in this movie your number 1 reason to go brave the Christmas crowds and see P.S. I Love You is, yes, I mentioned it before!

JDM Nude Butt Scene!!!

Yes girls, roll your tongues back into your mouth, Poppa Winchester is finally gonna show some skin! I mean, his boys have done it, and it is only fitting to folow suit! so here, imagine this without the coverage




See, even Girard wants a piece of JDM's butt!! (looks like Hilary does too )

Oh, who are you kidding, if you were that close to him you would totally be doing that!! And well, I guess Gerard has a nice butt too...


And aww, too cute not to share, JDM's mommy is in the blue! How cute!!
(Looks like Gerard is go-go-gadget handing it, and grabbing all their butts!!)

DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE!!
Dirty Christmas song *SIDENOTE* I was raised well, rather traditionally and didn't know what this was...and I could have gone my whole life without knowing as far as I'm concerned, sounds rather painful...

This fits with the song, but it's way pervy...no, scratch that, it's just wrong:

I mean, seriously, there are just some places you should not look for food, this is taking recycling WAY to far! I saw it a while back (I believe on M8's blog) but I thought it was a manip still kinda hoping it is...

And of course, I had to get "icon" appropriate for the occasion! Yup, that is JDM's crotch, complete with rocker sty|e (the icon's fromP.S. and can I just say Inever understood the chain thing, but it looks HOT on him!!) and coffee in hand, does it get any better?!
>

So, here is what I have to say about the above blog...

Okay, only two people checked the last blog, and I am blaming it on last minute Christmas rush (and TV Hiatus', so I am going to forego the perv (saving it up for a nice pervy Christmas Blog) amd just give you the music:

Santa Baby by PCD & Snoop(Snoop doesn't even really sing, but he is in there)

Rain Down on Me by KANE(yes, that is Christian Kane, aka Lindsay from ANGEL)

Incentive #3 to see JDM in P.S. I Love You on December 21st:
Okay, mentioned he played the guitar, but he sings too!! Double Whammy! And thanks to the lovely OhB for sending me this picture! Oh, and another incentive (in case you count singing and playiung the guitar as one thing) he has AN IRISH ACCENT!! So, I am a sucker for a good accent, and hello, he has the rocker sheik look down too!! So, I guess that is three incentives for today:

Here is the christmas song for today:

Let it Snow by Michael Buble(The vid is Narnia, and there are a LOT of different versions of this song, but I like his voice, so that is the one I chose )

Can I Go Now by Jennifer Love Hewitt

Okay, I know I am late on this, but I just heard, I make it a point to not read the gossip cr@p columns, but anyways, someone commented on pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt at the beach in Hawaii, and had the nerve tocriticize her, saying she looked less than gorgeous! THIS IS CR@P! What were the tabloid thinking?! She is beautiful, and so are her curves, and THANK GOD she addressed it the way she did! I love her andthink she is an awesome actress and even singer, I mean, she has a beautiful voice, and pretty much succeeds at everything she does!! I was also informed that she does "Veteran Appreciation" spots talking about how much she respects our veterans! I mean, she is just a genuinely good person, and if I looked that "fat" (their words not mine) I would be one lucky girl!!

EXHIBIT A in the spoiler tag...

***SPOILER***

Alright, now for the pervy...

***SPOILER***

Ph, come on, have you been paying attention?! I know it's not extreme perv, but hello, if you read the blog, you know why!

And for the ladies...

***SPOILER***

And COUNTDOWN!!!! This is the first day of JDM P.S. I Love You Week!!! so here is a little incentive to see it, (you know, besides the JDM BUTT!!)
Incentive #1: The Smile


That's it for now folks!

Okay, I can't find this freakin song anywhere and it is bugging the cr@p out of me!! anyone who can tell me the singer/where I could get it I will forever be in debt to you!

Santa's on his way

And this is for OhB, I am so sorry sweetie, I wish there was more I could do. If you need anything let me know!


And some pervy (for both, cause it's Freaky Friday, but ooutta respect, I am not going to get to crazy):

***SPOILER***

And some responses to yesterday's comments:
Marksvigil: YAY! First! Hey sexy icon! And no, I didn't make it, but I designed, he had to redo it a bunch of times before he had it the way I wanted it. And yes, I know about the Kate Bush version, I actually was torn when I first compared the two, but if you go by which I listen to more, it is no contest Placebo's version! Later sweetie!!

Rocio: Hey, as long as you don't breathe when you visit my blog! But yes, I feel better today! I think the Airborne I took kicked whatever was brewing outta my system! Thanks for your well wishes!

T: Yup, it is a Bones song to me too, curse that Seeley Booth, makes all else kinda numb and dull doesn't he?! I mean, hello, he blocked out three hotties at one time, being the primary image for that song, even if it didn't match the myrics as well as SN!

Entity: which one? If it is the Placebo one youare talking about, yes, me too, the Elvis one is a guilty pleasure!

Here we go...

Blue Christmas by The King

Running up that Hill by Placebo

The second is a Supernatural Vid sent to me by OhB, and he|l, if she likes a video with her short attention span, it is worth a watch! Love the twists! And didn't actually realize this was such a perfect song for a SN vid, because I associate it with when Max burns that F.B.I. @sshole on the top of Angel's hotel (LOL, and if you know what I'm talking about you get a pinch! but I get to pick where! )

Oh, and now instead of a headache, this morning I woke up ach-y all over, like someone beat me with a sack of rocks when I was sleeping, so yeah, I have perv (to warm ya up on a cold winter night), but nothing else to say except.....OUCH!

***SPOILER***

Here we go:

Christmas (since we had a c|assic yesterday):
Grandma... by Dr. Elmo

Regular (addicted to this song right now! An what girl hasn't ben catty? come on!):
Misery Business by Paramore

And have a huge headache, and feel like death warmed over, so no perv today, sorry
Oh, and I answered all your comments in the last blog, and am trying to get around to reading all your blogs, I swear this dial up cr@p is for the birds!

Okay, to try to get back over here, I am going to do the 15 Days of Christmas Songs
And well, if you're like me, and you still don't feel Christmas-y I will do some regular songs too!!

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (Ballet)(What can I say, I'm a sucker for a cl@ssic!)

We Wil Rock You (Girls of Heroes)(If you love the chicks of Heroes, this vid kicks butt!!)

And I am low on smut, mostly because of this:
(Thanks OhB for ruining the JDM I had in my head! )


After I wrote my remarks about the pic, I read another emial from OhB and she gave me th countdown for some JDM Butt in P.S. I Love You so I retract them, just hope the moustache is for a role.
Oh, heck!!! I get JDM BUTT in 10 days, so bring on the perv!!

***SPOILER***

***SPOILER***

And just went back, and there sure is a lot of butt in this blog! The vid kicks butt,and looking forward to JDM butt!! So here, allowme to keep up the tradition:

It's only gonna be the fifth for liketen more minutes, so I am rushing through this! Love this song, always have, and come on!!! Everyone does that arm punp when the beat kicks in! But we all may not look this good doing it

Carry On My Wayward Son

Here is the full version

And a little perv

And thanks for welcoming me back!! Although it is dodgy right now, I should be more active than before although life is still crazy, I need to take time out to come here more! I missed you all!
*Tackles Batzy backand rolls around with him*

Okay, so my life has been crazy, and well, a bit scary (for me at least the BF seems to be taking it all in stride, well, considering he is making the strides...sorry, long story) and that is why I have been MIA. ANYWAYS....I juat had to come on and post a song, and yeah, I once again blame getting a song stuck in my head on OhB, shefinds the best songs!! I will try to be on a little more, but my"cookies" are all screwed to hell, so we'll see how it goes.

Say (All I Need)by OneRepublic ***WARNING!!! It is a season 3 BONES vid (made by OhB) that includes a little of Ep 9, so if you haven't seen, SPOILER WARNING*** Oh, and I so recommend their new album, it is great!

And with OhB's permission, I give you the DL link if you want the vid, because it is so amazing! Here is another in case the first doesn't work for some reason.

Oh, and I have been out of pervy comission for way too long, so here is a little something (I am outta practice, so it may not be as pervy as usual)

For the LADIES

For the FELLA (Batzy, you know this means you!!)

My song of the day is

No More Sorrow by Linkin Park

and it is a shameless promotion because I love my Twin, and wanna promote her vids, (and she is too humble, just like "If you like 'em, you like em" so I am making people watch them!! :lol But seriously, she does a great job on them, and I can't get enough, the mood of "Man in a SUV" is really captured here with this video, so yeah, there you go!!

Oh, and because I have been DB void as of late, I got a new icon, so cute, here it is:

Icon

I love this picture!! Anyway, here is some more DB goodness!! (For her Video Majesty cause I know how you love the B&W!!!!)

DB

Only one, cause the stupid site won't let me post pics, so yeah, the links is all I will get, anyways, there ya go, I am gonna vamoose before I get hostile and start throwing things at this site!!

Alright, well, OhB made this video because of tonights SSR (which seems to be abnormally empty) and the love that we both share for this song, so here is the song of the day, and a special video in honor of the 8/26/07 SSR on the episodes "Bloodlust" and "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things"

Back in Black by AC/DC (A seriously huge thanks to OhB, cause I couldn't find the clip with the sing (whole) so she did this video, which was wayyyy better, and also had the clip, best of both worlds)

And of course, it starts with the scene in which the song was used

Metallicar

Dean

Sam

Awww

Good Lighting

A Surprisingly Good One

Typical

Not so typical...

Enjoy!!

Here is the song of the day:

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

The video is a SN video in honor of the SSR, although it is MIA at the moment

Here we go for some pictures (links) (from Salvation)

Bedroom Eyes

Book reading

Smiley

WTF?!

Smirky

Eyes UP!! LOL

WHAT?!

Little Smile

Is he looking at me?

Concentration

Determined

The song of the Day is:

What You Wish For by Guster (I heard this song when I watched the movie Life as a House which I recommend highly, seriously.....GO WATCH IT!!)

Here is the movie poster

Here is the DVD cover , so you can recognize it when you go and rent it

And, heck a screencap cause I love the movie soo much!!!

Oh, and some incentive to go see it for the ladies!

Alright, for the pervs, there is a link, cause well, no spoiler tags yet

Okay, that is the song/pics for today and I changed my icon in honor of this awesome movie, so there ya go, and finally, let me just say

SEE THE MOVIE!!!

Okay, I am so hooked on Weeds right now I keep watching it over and over!!! The wit and the humor and outrageous situations they all get themselves into just cracks me up!! So, yeah I can't get the theme song out of my head, so that is the song for today:

Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds

And a picture that I think goes with the shows theme, since the Mom is the worker in the family!!

Working Women

And of course, a picture of the reason that I started watching the show, because he is so very gorgeous!!!

Judah Botwin

Oh, and the reason it is fuzzy (you know if you watch the show) is because it is his son watching a home video of him, that the son took, so it is lower quality, and supposed to be like that, you are essentially looking at a screen that has another screen inside it with the image on it, so yeah, I probably confused you more with that explanation!!

Since this is technically my Friday blog (though I may add another, you never know) Have a Freaky Friday!!

Cheat

Okay, another song from another show I love (just fell in love with actually, I am so addicted!!)

Ballerina by Leona Naess (heard on Weeds, click on the title to watch the scene, featuring none other than Poppa Winchester for all you SN fans!!) This is also my little bit of perv for the blog, cause still no freakin spoiler tags!!

Ballerina by Leona Naess (The full version if you want to hear) (More JDM, in a different roll cause he is my date!!)

Okay here is my picture that could be pervy if you have a dirty mind:

Okay, I am coming on sporadically, so yeah, sorry if I don't respond to your comments, but I really do miss you all, I just don't have the patience to deal with this site right now, sorry

Here is the song of the day, I haven't been able to stop listening to it since I saw this scene!!

The Lure Would Prove Too Much by The Twilight Singers (This is the actual scene from Rescue Me, I love it, so sad if you know what happens, but the music just had this melodic quality that was amazing and very appropriate for the mood of the scene)

Since I can't do spoiler tags (stupid site bugs!! ) Here is suggestive pervy!

So, I keep trying and failing to make the stupid site bugs go away be sheer will, but apparently I don't have enough or these bugs are really strong, so to make up partially for my absense I am posting a video I just keep watching over and over, I just LOVE the way he answers!! So freakin cute/funny!!

For SN Fans (sorry if youhave seen already)

Emphatic Answer

For Bones Fans:

Here is a great scene from Bones!!! He really needs one of these, just give it to him already, oh, and while you are at it I will take one too please !!!! (Special thanks to OhB for posting it, cause I couldn't find it!! You rock girly!)

Funny Scene

And another longer clip from the same episode, with Booth all irritated when he goes to see Gordon Gordon, so funny!

Therapy

Okay, seriously:

I Quit by Hepburn (The vid has a little something for every Buffy relationship fan, Angel, Riley and Spike)

I am so sick and tired of these stupid bugs, I am done threatening my hiatus and actually taking it, I will not be posting blogs until I can do them justice, like I did before this retarded bug! NOW, I can't even post pictures, so yeah, I am out for at least a while, cause I come on here to have fun, and this is soooo not fun!!! I will probably check in here, but not as often as I have been, cause I don't wanna get so p!ssed at a freakin entertainment site, and p!ssed Luv is worse than no Luv at all, so yeah, I hope to see you around soon when these stupid bugs clear up (if they do). Oh, and can someone PM me if/when they do so I know it is safe to come back? Thanks

EDIT:

Oh, and I just uploaded the other video I made (first actually) it is a Booth and Bones video, but be gentle if you watch, cause I didn't use any transitions and used the "Old Film" look so that it looked more animated than a slideshow....sorry if it sucks