so i am sitting here and i am very bored and i really want to up my level a bit and so i decided that everyone could do with a good laugh so i compiled a list of funny pics, sayings, videos, tv shows, etc. enjoy!

ok sooo ummm.... the Kathy Griffin Show is hilarious!! i luv her but she is a little unappropiate so if ur not into that then idk dont watch it!!

Who's Line Is It Anyway? is a good one...i think that improv would soooo fun!!

Blue Collar Tv or Tour is always good...those guys kill me!! (and if u have no idea what im talkin about with these shows well then im sry go look it up on youtube w/e!)

idk there are alot of funny tv shows out there i just cant think so if u have ne let me know!

hmmm..lets see some funny sayings and quotes...

Don't ever change. I always want to be better than you.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death my meteor. (got these 3 from despair.com they have some great stuff)

You know what your problem is. You're stupid.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

All men are idiots ... I married their king.

" I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." -Jane Austen

"I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip i have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." -The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." -Terry Pratchett

"Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxi cabs or cutting hair." -George Burns

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you will be a mile away from them, and you will have their shoes." -Frieda Norris

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either." -Gore Vidal

"Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation." -Kin Hubbard

"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth." -Charles Luckman

some videos that u can find on youtube are...the end of the world...asian pride...asian backstreetboys...looking up good hockey hits is fun too...dont know if u'll like these but w/e

some jokes...

Your momma is so ugly her pillow crys at night.

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates." A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?"
"I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John.
John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'didn't' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing. Love, Your son."
Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read: "Dear John, While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I'm not saying you 'don't' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed. Love, Mom."

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?" (sry to any blondes out there but i had to do at least one)

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his 18-year-old nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have an adjoining room. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy says, "You're **** me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

ok well i wanted to have some more stuff but there is just sooo much stuff out there and it is very late and i am tired so that is all for now...i hoped u enjoyed it...if u r ever in need of a good laugh just let me know and i will do another one of these b/c it was very fun...if u have any good websites to find funny stuff please let me know b/c i luv a good laugh...if i have offended neone with my weird sense of humor i am very sry its all in good fun so dont hate me or do hate me just dont hurt me...ok so i tried to put some funny pics below here but it didnt work and i dont know what to do and im getting very tired and cranky so sry put ill try and figure out how to do that some other time goodnight!!

Chapter 6

At the lab:

Booth walks in, in a better mood than before because of a phone call he had just received.
"They think they have Brennan's shooter, a man named William Marks. He was found dead in his house with the back of his head smashed in. A gun found in the house matched the bullet found in...the bullet. Now, William Marks used to work with Peter Philips before Petey went to jail. It was rumored that William and Petey's wife Amy were having an affair." Zack enters with a tray of objects.
"These are the possible murder weapons." On the tray, there is a small variety of round, wooden objects, one of which is a rolling pin. Angela has a shocked look on her face.
"A rolling pin?" It finally hits Booth.
"A rolling pin! Stacy Honors said that Amy Philips was always baking. I bet she seduced William Marks into going after me while she went across town and murdered Jimmy." He takes out his cell phone.
"It's the wife, Amy Philips. Bring her in." He turns back to Angela and Zack.
"Alright, well there's nothing we can do until the arrest, so I'm going to head back to the hospital. The doctor said that if Bones doesn't wake up soon...well, I just want to be there."

At the hospital:

Booth sits in his usual spot next to Brennan's bedside. He is stroking her hand when it suddenly twitches. Booth sits up, barely daring to hope.
"Bones?" She opens her eyes slowly, and turns her head towards Booth. A relief and happiness such as he had never known before surged through Booth. It almost brought him to tears. He reached up and gently placed his hand on her face.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"You're awake."
"Yeah, I've noticed."
"I'm glad." They both smile.
"So, how do you feel?"
"Like I've been kicked in the stomach...a lot."
"Yeah, well, the doctors will be here in a minute to pump you with some more drugs so that feeling won't last long." They are both startled by Booth's cell phone. They had forgotten that there were other people in the world besides them.
"Booth...on my way." He looks at Brennan.
"They got her."
"Got who?"
"The woman responsible for all this. I'm going to go down and get quick confession from her and then I'll be right back, okay?"
"Okay."
"And, I'm going to call the rest of the squints. They'll want to see you." He stops in the doorway.
"And Bones, do me a favor."
"What?"
"Just...just stay awake, okay?"
"Absolutely."

At the FBI interrogation room:

Booth enters, ready to do whatever it takes to get a confession. Fortunately, for Booth, this was not very difficult.
"Okay, Mrs. Philips, we know you did it. We found your old rolling pin with DNA from Jim Johnson and William Marks on it. So, my only question is why. You said you were happy, said you had found someone. So, why kill?"
Amy Philips, blonde but smart, knew she was beat. They had her, so she gave it up.
"Do you know how embarrassing it is, Agent Booth, to have your husband go to jail and then leave you for a man? Do you know how it feels to have everyone gossiping about you? I worked hard to get my place in society and you ruined it. You ruined my good name!"
All the anger that had been building up in Booth at every interview, finally broke through the surface. He flipps over his chair and pins Amy Philips against the wall, his hand against her throat. Her pearls were digging into her neck, and she was gasping for air.
"A MAN IS DEAD AND MY PARTNER IS IN THE HOSPITAL ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE EMBARRASSED!"
The guards rush in and wrestle Booth out of the room.
"Get her out of here."

At the hospital:

Everyone is standing around Brennan's room, talking about the case.
"Yea, she killed him with a rolling pin." Hodgins.
"I hope she didn't use it afterwards." Angela.
"I highly doubt it." Zack.
"She did it because her place in high society was ruined. She saw it as mine and Jimmy's fault." Booth.
"Well, congratulations on solving it. Especially with such little evidence." Brennan.
Angela begins to put on her coat.
"Hodgins and I should get going. It's getting late." Angela goes over and hugs Brennan.
"I'm so happy you're okay, sweetie." Hodgins also gives her a small hug and they leave.
"I should be going to."
"Goodnight, Zack."
"Goodnight, Dr. Brennan." He gives her a smile that says more than any amount of words ever could.
Booth and Brennan are left alone together.
"You had me scared, Bones."
"I know."
"No, you don't really... because you were laying here and there was nothing I could do; no way I could help you, save you."
"I'm sorry, Booth." She takes his hand and they smile.
"Besides, Booth, you did help me. You know that I had to wake up so I could brag about how I saved your life."
Booth laughs. Him and Brennan would be up very late that night.

 The End

 well there it is, hope u guys liked it... i was trying to make the case a little crazier but thats really hard to do...o and i was thinkin about writing a sequel where booth like kinda wants to break his partnership wit bones so she doesnt get hurt anymore and so they have to deal with that and of course there would be an interesting case to go along with it...would ne of u guys b interested in reading sumthin like that???

Chapter 5

At the FBI interrogation room:

A woman of high society, with short, blonde hair and a strand of delicate pearls around her neck, now sits in the interrogation room. Booth enters, wanting more than ever to be at the hospital; he hasn't been there all day. He knew that he should really by letting someone else do these interviews. His mind was not in the right state to see the little hints that let him know people are lying, but, then again, he knew that there was no way he could let anyone else do these interviews, not when things were this personal.
"Amy Philips, your husband is in jail for five years and just when you think you're getting him back, he tells you that he's leaving you for a man. That has to suck."
"Well, yes, of course.
"If I were you, I'd be insane with rage."
"Yes, well, so would I under different circumstances."
"Different circumstances?"
"The breakup of my marriage was not at all fun, believe me, but I was going to leave Peter anyway. I also met someone while he was in jail, my Paul. He helped me through a time that I thought I would never make it through. Now, may I ask, why I am here?"
"Well, let's see, an agent, a friend of mine actually, is dead, and my partner is laying in a coma. The agent helped put your husband away and my partner is in the hospital because of an attempt on my life. So, you know, I'm kinda looking for a murderer."
"And you think it's me because my husband left me for someone he met in prison. Well, like I said Agent Booth, I was going to leave Peter anyway, so I can a sure you that I am a very happy woman. But, Paul, well he left someone, too, to be with me. Her name is Stacy...Stacy Honors. She's unstable. She calls sometimes, drunk, making threats. Maybe she decided to follow through on one."
"Okay, thank you Mrs. Philips. Just stay close, okay." On the way out the door, Booth tells the FBI agent to get him Stacy Honors, but not until tomorrow, he wanted to go to the hospital.

At the hospital:

When Booth goes into Brennan's room he meets the doctor on his way out.
"How is she?"
"She needs to wake up, Agent Booth. Soon."
The doctor leaves and Booth turns to Brennan
"Look Bones, I brought you something." He takes the toy pig out of his pocket and sets it on her bedside table and then sits in the chair next to her.
"He's been thinking about you...like the rest of us." He reaches out and takes Brennan's hand for the first time since she has been in the hospital.
"You...you have to wake up, Bones, okay? I...I, you know...I need you." He is finally able to just let the tears flow freely now.
"I...I can't do this without you...not anymore. I remember one time, when we were in the car, you said that I should stop letting you hug me when you get scared, and I said that whenever I got scared I would hug you. Well...I'm scared...and...and I need you to be here..." He watches Brennan, half expecting to see her eyes open just because he had asked her to, but her eyes remained closed. He leans over and lays his head on her stomach and sobs openly. He would be there all night.

At the FBI interrogation room:

A woman of a very different nature sits in the interrogation room. She wears no pearls and her hair is long, black, and a little dirty. Booth enters, ready to go.
"You're boyfriend breaks up with you so he could be with a rich woman whose husband is in jail."
"Yea, your right. Now why am I here?"
"Oh, you know, murder. Now, I hear that you still call your old beau, make some threats. Thought to take some action, did you?"
"Murder, what! Yes, I have called Paul, on occasion. It's hard, you know, to let go. But any threats that I've made have been empty. Nothing more than a drunken woman's rambling. I could never hurt anyone. If you're looking for a murderer, I would look at Paul's new girlfriend. That woman is off her rocker, I swear. She has this weird obsession with baking. I mean that's all she does. What Paul sees in that woman I will never know. Paul doesn't even like pie. Well, oh well, I need to move on. If she is want he wants, then so be it. I don't need that kind of drama. Back to the point, I didn't hurt anyone."
Booth leaves the room. Something is wrong, he knows that. Three unfaithful lovers and everyone is still pretty happy; that isn't right. But Booth couldn't figure it out. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't pick through the lies, not when he was this sick with worry. He would go to the lab, maybe they would have some new information for him.

**this chapter is a little longer than usual but once the juices are flowing its hard to get them to stop

Chapter 4

At the hospital:

It is late that night, around 1:30 a.m. Angela is on her way to Brennan's room. She was at Hodgin's, but she couldn't stay there. She needed to be with Brennan. She opens the door and sees Booth sitting in a chair beside her bed.
"Hey. How is she?"
"Oh, hey. She's okay. Still no change."
"Booth, you've had a rough day. You should go home and get some sleep."
"No, no I'm okay. I want to stay."
"Okay, well, at least go get some coffee or something, okay?"
"Yea, alright." He leaves the room almost reluctantly. Angela sits in his abandoned chair.
"Brennan, you have to get better. I mean it. You have to wake up. We need you. It's too hard to find a new best friend. I can't lose the one I have." Tears begin to roll quietly down her cheeks. She looks out the window and sees Booth sitting in a chair in the hallway. She wipes her eyes and goes to sit next him. They are quiet for a moment, and then Booth begins to open up.
"This isn't right. It should be me, not her. They were after me. She couldn't just let it go. She...you know...she had to be the hero. Just this once, why couldn't she just let it go?" His voice was overflowing with emotion, anger, guilt, fear.
"She's...she's so selfish, you know. She never thought for a second what this would do to us. She never thought about how this would affect the rest of us. She only thought about herself...and her own feelings. And if she doesn't wake up I...I can't..." He is overcome with all the emotions he is feeling and can't continue.
"Booth, hey listen to me. This is not your fault. Brennan saved you because she cares about you. You may wish things were the other way around, but she wouldn't. She's strong, Booth. The strongest person I've ever known. She'll be okay. She'll wake up. You know she's going to want to rub it in your face about how she saved your life."
Booth chuckles and then stands up.
"You know, I think I will go home. I have an interview to do in the morning. If anything happens..."
"You'll be the first to know." He leaves and Angela goes back to make herself comfortable for the night.

At the FBI interrogation room:

A small, nervous looking man is sitting in the chair. Booth enters the room agitated; he didn't sleep well last night. He takes a deep breath and then enters the room.
"Agent Booth, I was hoping to never have to see you again."
"Is that a confession, Petey?"
"C-confession? To what?" Booth lays an open file on the table. It has a picture of Jim Johnson in it.
"Remember him?"
"Agent Johnson. Yes, of course I remember him."
"Well, he's dead."
"Dead?"
"Yes, murdered, and my partner is in the hospital."
"And you think I did it."
"I think that Jimmy and I ruined your good name and sent you to jail. I think that maybe you want some revenge."
"No, no you have it all wrong. Going to jail was the best thing that ever happened to me. You see, I met someone there. Frank. He's changed my life. Amy wasn't too happy, and I'm sorry for that, but I need to do what is best for me. Frank is what's best for me now. So, why would I want revenge on the people who led me to him?"
"You better be telling me the truth, Peter, because a friend of mine is dead and my partner is in the hospital and I will not stop until I find out who is responsible." As Booth leaves the room, he stops at the FBI agent standing by the door.
"I want the wife."

At the lab:

Hodgins and Zack are there working when Booth enters.
"Hey, you guys here anything from the hospital?"
"Angela just called, she still hasn't woken up." Booth sighs.
"Okay, well, I just got done interviewing Petey, and he says that jail was the best thing that ever happened to him. Apparently, he met someone. So, I'm thinking jealous wife wants revenge on the people who sent her husband to jail in the first place."
"That is consistent with my findings." Zack had worked late into the night examining the skull.
"It seems that the victim was beaten with a smooth, rounded object. From the apparent number and quality of the blows, it is probable that it was done by a woman." Booth's cell phone begins to ring.
"Booth...already? Yea, I'll be right there." He turns back to Zack.
"They got Amy Philips. I'm going to go talk to her. Good work, Zack. Now if you could compile a list of possible weapons that would be great."
On his way out, Booth passes by Brennan's office. He stops and goes in. His sits down in her chair remembering some of the many conversations they have had in this room. He puts his face in his hands. He needs let some of his emotions out but he's afraid that if he does he wouldn't be able to get himself under control again, and he needed to stay under control right now. He looks up and sees a small toy pig sitting on Brennan's desk. He picks it up and tears begin to build up in his eyes. "No," he reminds himself, "not now." He slips the small pig in his pocket. He had an interview to get to.

Chapter 3

At the FBI office:

Booth sits in Cullen's office, his mind only on Brennan, the moment when the gun was fired replaying over and over in his head. He wasn't sure why Cullen had called him in, he had called him about what happened in the parking lot and told him that he would file a report as soon as Brennan was okay. On the phone he only said to get there as soon as possible and to send some people over to the lab. Maybe they caught the shooter. If they did it wouldn't be because of Booth, he didn't see the man's face. He just hoped it wouldn't take long. He needed to be with Brennan. His thoughts are interrupted when Cullen enters.
"Jim Johnson was murdered at approximately 10:30 tonight."
"Jimmy? How?" Booth wondered if this news could have come at any worse time.
"He was found with the back of his skull smashed in. As I understand it, this happened not long after the shooting in the parking lot."
"Yes, sir." The image of Brennan laying on the ground covered in blood flashed through his mind. He shook his head, he couldn't break down in front of Cullen.
"You and Jimmy worked on a case together not long before he retired, correct?"
"Yes, sir. Peter Philips, got 10 years for second degree murder."
"Yea, well, guess who just got out early for good behavior."
"That son-of-b****. Thank you for the information, sir." He gets up to leave.
"Booth, someone tried to kill you tonight. I think that you should sit this one out."
"Sir, my partner is in the hospital and it's my fault. I have to be a part of this investigation."
"I figured you'd say that, but I had to try. Anything found on the body before the autopsy has already been sent to the Jeffersonian. After the autopsy, the body will be sent there also. We'll have Peter Philips for you first thing in the morning."
"Thank you, sir."
"Oh, and Booth, I hope your partner gets well soon."
"Thank you sir."

At the lab:

Booth enters the lab quickly, ready to find the one responsible. Hodgins is looking at something through the microscope. Angela is just standing there, not sure what to do with herself.
"Have you heard anything from Zack?"
"No, not yet."
"Hodgins, are you looking at the samples the Bureau sent over."
"Yea, the agent who dropped it off said it was top priority, said it had something to do with what happened to Dr. Brennan, so I got right on it. It's some sort of wood, that's all I got so far. What's going on?"
"An old buddy of mine, Jim Johnson, was found dead tonight, not long after...after what happened. Those samples are from the body. Before he retired, we worked a case together. Peter Philips, the man we put away, just got out of jail. I think he's involved in this. So, Hodgins, you keep looking at those samples. Angela, what I need from you is to know if we are dealing with one killer or two."
"Okay, we need to go run a simulation." They walk into Angela's office and Booth's hands her a piece of paper with Jim Johnson's address and approximate time of death written on it. She enters it into her computer. Booth paces behind her, nervous and impatient.
"Based on the amount of time between the attacks and the distance between here and the victim's apartment, I'd have to say that there is almost no way that we could be dealing with only one person. Even if there was no traffic and they ran every red light, a person would have to be driving about 90 mph to get from her to Jim Johnson's apartment in that amount of time."
"Yea, and not to mention the cops were out heavy tonight because a report of a possible gang fight. They would have noticed somebody doing 90 down the street. Alright, so Jimmy's killer has an accomplice. Thanks a lot Angela."
"No problem, sweetie."
"Okay, well, I'm going to stay the night at the hospital. Fill Zack in when he gets here and see what he can tell me from the body. I'll call you if anything changes."

 **o and dont worry guys i promise some good B&B stuff coming up just hang with me