13. 1900s - Cookies
Litmus Test: See You At The Lights
Next Steps: You Made Me Like It, Enjoying Myself, Pollokshields.
Deep Cuts: You're Supposed To Be My Friend, Risque Pictures, Arcade Precinct.

12. Noisettes - What's The Time Mr. Wolf?
Litmus Test: Scratch Your Name
Next Steps: Sister Rosetta (Capture The Spirit), Don't Give Up, Nothing To Dread.
Deep Cuts: The Count Of Monte Christo, Bridge To Canada, Mind The Gap.

11. Blonde Redhead - 23
Litmus Test: 23
Next Steps: Spring And By Summer Fall, Dr. Strangeluv, Silently.
Deep Cuts: SW, Heroine, Publisher.

10. Young Galaxy - Young Galaxy
Litmus Test: Outside The City
Next Steps: Searchlight, No Matter How Hard You Try, Come And See.
Deep Cuts:The Alchemy Between Us, Embers, Lazy Religion, Wailing Wall.

9. Kings Of Leon - Because Of The Times
Litmus Test: Ragoo
Next Steps: Fans, Arizona, Knocked Up.
Deep Cuts: Camero, Black Thumbnail, True Love Way, On Call.

8. The White Stripes - Icky Thump
Litmus Test: Little Cream Soda
Next Steps: Icky Thump, Conquest, I'm Slowly Turning Into You.
Deep Cuts: 300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues, Catch Hell Blues, You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You're Told).

7. The Thrills - Teenager
Litmus Test: No More Empty Words
Next Steps: The Midnight Choir, Nothing Changes Around Here, The End Of Innocence.
Deep Cuts: Long Forgotten Song, There's Joy To Be Found / The Boy Who Caught All The Breaks, I Came All This Way.

6. The Bravery - The Sun And The Moon
Litmus Test: Believe
Next Steps: Angelina, This Is Not The End, Time Won't Let Me Go.
Deep Cuts: Every Word Is A Knife In My Ear, Split Me Wide Open, Above And Below, Fistful Of Sand.

5. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightware
Litmus Test: Fluorescent Adolescent
Next Steps: Brianstorm, Old Yellow Bricks, Teddy Picker.
Deep Cuts: 505,The Bad Thing, D Is For Dangerous, Only Ones Who Knew.

4. Editors - And End Has A Start
Litmus Test: Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors
Next Steps: The Weight Of The World, And End Has A Start, Push Your Head Towards The Air.
Deep Cuts: The Racing Rats, Escape The Nest, Well Worn Hand.

3. Feist - The Reminder
Litmus Test: 1234
Next Steps: My Moon My Man, How My Heart Behaves, Brandy Alexander.
Deep Cuts: Sealion, Past In Present, Honey Honey, So Sorry.

2. Mark Ronson - Version
Litmus Test: God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
Next Steps:Valerie (feat. Amy Winehouse), Oh My God (feat. Lily Allen), LSF (feat. Kasabian).
Deep Cuts: Diversion, Inversion, Outversion, Apply Some Pressure (feat. Paul Smith)

1. Maximo Park - Our Earthly Pleasures
Litmus Test: Our Velocity
Next Steps: Girls Who Play Guitars, A Fortnight's Time, Parisian Skies.
Deep Cuts: Russian Literature, By The Monument, Sandblasted And Set Free, Karaoke Plays.

19. Kubichek! - Not Enough Night
Litmus Test: Nightjoy
Next Steps: Taxi, Start As We Meant To, Method Acting.
Deep Cuts: Hometown Strategies, Outwards, Roman Is Better.

18. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
Litmus Test: Dashboard
Next Steps: Missed The Boat, Florida, We've Got Everything.
Deep Cuts: Fire It Up, Little Motel, Parting Of The Sensory.

17. Klaxons - Myths Of The Near Future
Litmus Test: Golden Skans
Next Steps: Atlantis To Interzone, It's Not Over Yet, Two Recievers.
Deep Cuts: Gravity's Rainbow, Magick, Totem On The Timeline.

16. Joss Stone - Introducing Joss Stone
Litmus Test: Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now
Next Steps: Bruised But Not Broken, What Were We Thinking.
Deep Cuts: Arms Of My Baby, Tell Me 'Bout It.

15. Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?
Litmus Test: We Were Born The Mutants Again With Leafing
Next Steps:Suffer For Fashion, Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse, A Sentence Of Sorts In Kongsvinger.
Deep Cuts: Sink The Seine, She's A Rejecter.

14. Let's Go Sailing - The Chaos In Order
Litmus Test: Sideways
Next Steps: Icicles, All I Want From You Is Love, Better Off.
Deep Cuts: Come Home Safely, We Get Along, Too Many Stars,It's As Clear.

13. The Shins - Wincing The Night Away
Litmus Test: Phantom Limb
Next Steps: Sea Legs, Black Wave, Australia.
Deep Cuts: A Comet Appears, Turn On Me.

12. Norah Jones - Not Too Late
Litmus Test: Thinking About You
Next Steps: Until The End, Not Too Late, Rosie's Lullaby.
Deep Cuts: The Sun Doesn't Like You, Wake Me Up.

11. Albert Hammond, Jr. - Yours To Keep
Litmus Test: In Transit
Next Steps: 101, Cartoon Music For Superheroes, Everyone Gets A Star.
Deep Cuts: Hard To Live In The City, Holiday, Well... All Right.

10. The Little Ones - Sing Song EP
Litmus Test: Lovers Who Uncover
Next Steps: Cha Cha Cha
Deep Cuts: Face The Facts, Heavy Hearts Brigade.

9. Air - Pocket Symphony
Litmus Test: Night Sight
Next Steps: Mayfair Song, Space Maker, Mer Du Japon.
Deep Cuts: Lost Message, Photograph, Somewhere Between Waking And Sleeping.

8. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Some Loud Thunder
Litmus Test: Some Loud Thunder
Next Steps: Satan Said Dance, Underwater (You And Me), Yankee Go Home.
Deep Cuts: Mama Won't You Keep Them Castles In The Air And Burning?, Goodbye To Mother And The Cove.

7. Jamie T - Panic Prevention
Litmus Test: Clam Down Dearest
Next Steps: Sheila, If You Got The Money, So Lonely Was The Ballad.
Deep Cuts: Operation, Ike And Tina, Dry Off Your Cheeks.

6. Kaiser Chiefs - Yours Truly, Angry Mob
Litmus Test: Ruby
Next Steps: Heat Dies Down, Everything Is Average Nowadays, Learnt My Lesson Well.
Deep Cuts: Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning), Try Your Best, Retirement.

5. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Litmus Test: Tears Dry On Their Own
Next Steps: Rehab, Love Is A Losing Game, You Know I'm No Good.
Deep Cuts: He Can Only Hold Her, Back To Black.

4. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
Litmus Test: No Cars Go
Next Steps: Keep The Car Running, Antichrist Television Blues, Intervention.
Deep Cuts: The Well And The Lighthouse, Black Wave/Bad Vibrations.

3. The Rakes - Ten New Messages
Litmus Test: The World Was A Mess But His Hair Was Perfect
Next Steps: We Danced Together, Trouble, Suspicious Eyes.
Deep Cuts: Little Superstitions, When Tom Cruise Cries.

2. The Apples In Stereo - New Magnetic Wonder
Litmus Test: Energy
Next Steps: Same Old Drag, 7 Stars, Can You Feel It?
Deep Cuts: Suundal Song, Beautiful Machine Parts 3-4, Skyway, Radiation.

1. Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City
Litmus Test: Waiting For The 7:18
Next Steps: Sunday, Kreuzberg, The Prayer, I Still Remember.
Deep Cuts: Song For Clay (Disappear Here), On, Hunting For Witches.

Poor tragic random. The word itself, I mean. Bandied about so much in the past year, mainly misappropriated and abused, it's now left like an orphan without a home.  

Random once meant 'lacking any definate plan or pre-arranged order' - as in playing songs in random mode on CD. The past year has not only seen the adjective doubling up as a noun, but applied to everything from small talk to technology, pastime to people ('The conversation was so random, I hung up on him'... 'He was some random I met on the Net and our shag only lasted ten minutes'... 'My mobile looked like some random old brick in my bag, so I chucked it and bought a smaller one' ).  

In an age where we hook up with strangers on the web after chatting for only a few minutes, then trash their details when we've met them face to face and don't like something trivial about them; where we get bored of an MP3 track just twenty seconds in, so skip it and the next sixteen until we find that obcurely titled white label our bedroom boffin MySpace pal in Belgium sent us; where we witness talentless nobodies becoming fabulous somebodies on TV overnight then forgotten one month later, it's no wonder a word that connotes haphazardness has infiltrated the modern vernacular like an uncontainable virus.  

But like all those disposable objects it's been applied to - the temporary online buddies, the outmoded gadgets and gizmos, the outdated digital files, washed-up telly 'celebrities', and here today/gone tomorrow trade - 'random' looks like having reached it's use-by date.  

Are you sure you want to delete file 'random'? Yes please.

It's easy for women. When they are in the newsagent's at a railway station they can buy pretty much any magazine that takes their fancy, safe in the knowledge that they will be able to read it on the forthcoming train journey.  

It's not so easy for a man. We know we should pick up The Bulletin or a book on Victorian poetry because this would make us appear sensitive and clever. This means buying a lad's mag, which used to be fine. But now, unfortunately, it's no longer possible to do such a thing, at least not if you want to read it in public.  

Shark attack photos have been the staple diet of men's magazines since they arrived on the scene, 10 years ago. But with the launch and apparent success of Zoo, which is a weekly, the old monthlies have had to up the ante a bit. 

With a circulation of 600,000 or so, FHM, the biggest seller, has the most to lose, so this month you can feast your eyes on Abi Titmuss wearing little more than a sheen of baby oil. And it's no good turning the page because woah, it's a double page spread of a man with elephantiatis and testicles the size of prize-winning pumpkins, when you have a stranger who may well be a nun sitting next to you.  

This is the problem. In the early days of lads' magazines, it wasn't hard to find someone from a soap opera or the pop charts who, for a small fee, would appear in the centrefold, wearing a tasteful bikini, which was good... when it was just the centre. But now, with paparazzi on every beach in the world, the tabloid newspapers and celebrities in their G-strings. So the lads' magazines have to go further.  

That frightens away serious actresses and means we are left with girls who once went out with someone who sold a dog to someone who lives next to a newsreader, or worse yet, from Big Brother. This week for instance, Zoo has printed a picture of Keeley No-Last-Name's bottom. Who is Keeley? I have absolutely no idea. Ralph, meanwhile, has shots of Emily Scott, so we're told. Is she an MTV presenter?  

Would you read Maxim on the bus? Would you pull out the Playboy centrefold and nod appreciatively? Precisely. So this brings us back to the newsagent's at the railway station and the quandry of what to buy.  

Cream has columns on music, film, arts, fashion, travel, technology, what more do you need? It has an upmarket, serious feel, but the cover is bright pink, and there are visual landmines in there too. You turn the page expecting to pind a piece on Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's latest album, but oh no, thrupennies, and the nun's giving you daggers.  

So what about National Geographic? Well, yes, but it pretty much guarantees that you'll wake up 200 miles from your intended stop.  

Specialist publications do have a certain allure. Sit on a train reading What Computer? or Autocar and you can be pretty much assured that nobody will sit next to you. The downside, of course, is that you will have to read What Computer? or Autocars.
All specialist publications assume the reader knows as much about the subject as the staff. I recently read a home cinema magazine and there was not a single word that made any sense at all.  

Socially, it is possible to buy a magazine such as Arena, but it's hard to work out that they are about. Mostly, they seem to be full of rather trendy people leaning on bicycles in alleyways, and they are not what you'd call funny, which brings me to the sollution.  

Being Australian, and male, what we like most off all is a damn good laugh. So go buy yourself an iPod and download The Office's back catalogue.