3 Minute MBA....old but still good
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I' ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss hav e the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull Crap might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there!
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually t hawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
--------------------------------------------------
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who Crap's on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the Crap is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep Crap , it's best to keep your mouth shut!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I' ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss hav e the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull Crap might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there!
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually t hawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
--------------------------------------------------
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who Crap's on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the Crap is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep Crap , it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Print
Comment
Tag
Facebook
Digg thisBoys!...Come here and learn something!
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold,
my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said , "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
...........
............
.............
..............
...............
................
.................
..................
...................
....................
.....................
......................
.......................
........................
.........................
..........................
...........................
............................
.............................
..............................
...............................
................................
.................................
..................................
...................................
....................................
.....................................
Always keep your condoms in your car!
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold,
my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said , "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
...........
............
.............
..............
...............
................
.................
..................
...................
....................
.....................
......................
.......................
........................
.........................
..........................
...........................
............................
.............................
..............................
...............................
................................
.................................
..................................
...................................
....................................
.....................................
Always keep your condoms in your car!
SO..... The Azzuri Beat Us (World Cup and other things)
I wont say my true reaction for this game because i know i will got modded for racial slurs and offensive language for it, remind me of how much i hate Serie A which is thing like this a re pretty common in there but in international level this kind of thing is totaly unacceptable. The whole point is im glad that Italia didn't beat us by outskill us, we are literaly playing on the same level as them with good attacking football. but lack of seriousness and the "want" for a goal hold us back, even our numerical adavntage cant help us. Australia play better when they one goal behind, they need a kick start for their mental power. We did good and we're come soo close, victory almost at our hand,Oh well i hope we can do better in 2010 Guus Hiddink for the manager!!
On the other news i went to the Psychiatrist apparantly they said i got diagnosed with these two things:
Childhood trauma; didnt suprise me really, considering well i grew up in a place that i see too many people died, but yeah lets not go there.
Mild Clinical Depression; this one actually caught me off guard i mean, what?! me suffer from depression? i mean im probably the most optimistic person you'll ever find
. But they said it was actually a chain reaction from the childhood trauma.But these two wont affect much in my daily life and personality im still the same person as i was before
They said i just nee to slow down with things a bit and try to find a time to relax And last week, i got back in touch again with my long lost childhood friend, we havent seeing each other for 11 years, and of course thing has change lot between us, it was nice we talked about when we were young and the world still seems really nice to us
and *ahem* yea she's suprisingly attractive too now *ahem* so yea <_<.... Last night she catched a plane back to Netherland. It was nice when you find some of your old friends see what they've been up to etcAnd i started get back again in my daily tae kwon do routine, they asked me if i want to get into tourney but i refused, dont want to got too serious with things right now
Oh and other good news i quit smoking! Finally i did it!! Just see how long this one will last i hope for my entire life though 
Oh and i bought several CD's in the last few weeks
Thievery Coporation - The Cosmic Game
Her Space Holiday - Home is where you hang yourself
Mission of Burma - The Obliterati
Slint - Spiderland
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
Various Artist - Om Lounge VOL 1
^____^
Ohh and im seeing my fav bands, Mogwai in July!!! Cant wait im soo excited!!
Carry on peeps >_>
Untitled.
I feel so empty, i feel blank. I wish i didnt saw what happened that night.
It's all happening last saturday, oh yeah you bet i had a great time, me and my other 4 friends went clubbing trhough various clubs and bar in the city we went from Pavillion to Shellbourne and to Pumphouse the last, but that's where the fun come to it's end.
We arrived at the Pumphouse around 11:40 PM, it's been quite a night, had a great fun. after we had a little argument with the bouncer because one of my friend forgot his ID (that moron -__-) the bouncer finally let us in, right, once we in us three went straight to the bar because we was dead thirsty while my other friends taking a spot in the lounge area, after we catch our breathe and chilling out a bit me and my three other friend went to the dance floor area.
Right when we were in the dance area i saw something that i wish i'd rather not see
It was my girlfriend with her ex kissing near the DJ booth, even though the room a bit dark but i recognise her outfit, and i saw her clearly. Right at that point my knees start to shaking i go this sad mix with angry feeling build up in my chest damn it was the worst felling i've ever felt. The thing is i never got cheated on before, so this is sort of something new to me, im a virgin to this thing, even though i was a jerk and an assh0le in my past relationship before (not all of 'em though 
), but this is actually the first time that im the victim >__<So one of my friend realise what have happened and he quickly drag me out from there to teh lounge area before i went berserk lawl. After that moment the night is become the worst night i ever had.
But i couldn't totaly blame her though. I do realise that i didn't give her the attention that she deserved, i've been away lot of times from her, i just came back from overseas trip few days before this happened, and i forgot to called her to tell her that i already back in the country (it's bad i know) so maybe that's why she's cheated on me <___< But i only left her for about 10 days
not THAT long <__< But yeah all is settled now and we decided to end it (civilised of course) but she did apologise to me
and so do i apologise back to her for never really being there for her and all.So yeah lesson learned: being cheated on ish teh sux0rz >___>'
Other things: My PS2 finally come to its end
after serving me for a good 4 years oh well farewell my Ps2 Now im gonna concentrate all my gaming funds towards PC gaming, maybe a bit later when Wii & PS3 i'll start thinking redirecting my gaming budget to console again but for now PC gaming FTW!!!Oh and FIFA world cup is coming WOOT cant wait!
Go Socceroos! ^__^ 
And i just bought two CD:
Ministry of Sound - Cultura De Club 05
Ministry of Sound - Clubbers Guide 2006
Her Space Holiday- The Past Presents The Future
Anway sorry for the walls of text <__< Carry on peeps >__>....
So yea uhh i almost got fine for 10 Millions Rp for...
.... For kissing in public in during my holiday in Jakarta, Indonesia few weeks ago whichs is roughly around $700 AUD.
Apprently Bali is the only place in there that we allowed to do such 'act'
Anywhere else in Indonesia is pretty much forbidden i think 
So yeah i was faced with fine or i have to face imprisonment for 6 months 
(WTF right?)So, we (me, my girlfriend, and my other cousin) argued hard with the police officer and my cousins was fed up with the polic eofficer so he just said 'Hey mate our grandpa used to be an Air Force Chief for the TNI so you'll better let us go before you in deep s***' so after long hours of ID'ing process the policeman let me and my girfriend go without fine only warning notice (hooray for nepotism!
). How ridicolous is that rule? i mean i lived there for several years and i never knew such rule exist, its so effing stupid!
but other than that me and girlfriend came back safely without any problem well, only a bit with the custom authority ( damn custom <__<..)For other update i finally finish my Hospitality courses, hooray!
and my mum planning to send me to Neatherland for Uni and live with my aunt (hooray legal drug <__<...) But i dont know i dont want to leave Australia Even though Europe sounds nice Oh and i bought 6 CD over the past weeks ^____^
Mogwai - Mr. Beast
The Von Bondies - Pawn Shoppe Heart
Stereolab - Fab Four Suture
The Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea
Eagles of Death Metal - Death by Sexy
I'msonic RAin - Self Titled
Oh and btw R.I.P my baby (and my man whore <__<..) Azimio
.
