Ok sooo much has happended since I last posted. Sorry I never posted a part two I will try and fill in most of what has happened Its going to probably be a long one....

Well I dont remember the exacts of what happended but Rocky and i talked more and I did end up going up to visit him and sent two nights, (making me have to rush and last minute pack everything for college the day before I left) We didnt really talk much while I was up there, we mostly did other stuff.

Then I moved to college on friday, I was not ready for how much I was going to miss everyone, espesally rocky. Over the summer we sepnt everyday together and now were are over and hour apart, its hard. I ended up going up and visiting him again the first weekend after i moved in. I believe it was this trip that he keep trying to say the '3 words' couldnt I told him it was ok that I knew what he was trying to say and I felt the same and when he was reasy to same it I was ready to hear it. Well after that every time we were on the phone i felt like i was going to say it. He said he didnt want me to say it first cuz he knew that if I said it then he would defently say it back but he wanted to say it when he was totaly sure and ready to say it.

The next weekend he told me that he was goign to be in our home town and didnt know if he was going to come see me. I got a bit upset. I deiceded if he wasnt coming I didnt want to be at school for the weekend so I called my mom then called him and said i was goign to be at home and he said he was going to come down, so i said fine id stay only if he promised that if i still wanted to go home when he left that hed take me, and he said yes.

He came down and long story a bit short I ended up wanting to go home so he took me. On the way we ended up having a talk and I said some stuff bout wanting to trust him and give my all and trust he wont hurt me but the truth is he has hurt me and I ended up crying and he said nothing and I got sick on the side of the highway. He asked me if I wanted to stay the night with him and I said yes. So I spent night with him and his friends hanging out.

That night about 4am I started not being able to breathe. I woke Rocky up. I went out side to get some air and ended up blacking out twice rocky grabed me and put me in the car and took me to his house. I started to get better then got a lot worse. He went and got his step mom and she said to take me to the ER. Rocky picked me up ran to the car and through me and sped to the er. I sept form 5ish till 7ish in there and they couldnt find anyhting wrong with me so they discharged me. we went back to my house and crashed then I woke up again and could breathe. I went back and they did some more test and basicly said an repsitory infection and panic attacks. I got an enhalor and sent home.

I didnt go back to school for the week and then went up to Rocky the next weekend. We were laying in bed when he kept mubbleing something I knew what he was trying to say but I said I needed to hear the actual words and he said 'I love you' and I just stared at him. I felt bad cuz I could say it back and he was a little upset but, later I said it. he enjoys saying sometimes how I hesitated.

Well we are good now he says he loves me at leats 5 tiems when we are on the phone. College I really really hard. I was thinking and even started the application to Allegheny (where Rocky goes) but now hes not sure if he wants to be there either, but thats a whole other post.

Oh and now on top of everyhting I am have major side effects with my tyroid medicine. I guess it says 'call your dr right away if you have any of these symtoms' and I have 5 out of 6 so I have to call back tomorrow and talk to them. the first time I called on monday and said I was having problems they increased my meds. I was mad so was my mom and Rocky. I mean come on I started havimg the problems when the incerased it what is incerseing it again going to do but make it worse?

Well fall break is starting on friday. Im so happy to go home and see my friends, it my highschool homecomeing too so we all are goign to go to that for old times sake, then on sat Im going to go up and spend the rest of my break with Rocky.

I miss talking to you guys soo much and hearing you advice.

love you all, *HUGE MEGA HUGS*