So here I am, typing away on my sister's computer. I took the road less traveled and rearranged my work schedule so I could get into town last night instead of waiting to drive in on Sunday. I would have arrived earlier in the evening, but, well, has anyone ever seen First Wave? I only saw first season episodes, so I don't know how it ended, but I know those aliens are after me. As I was trying to leave town, one of my car's tires decided that it was tired of being full of air. I didn't get on the road for another three hours.

Now, truth be told, it's lucky that this happened before I left town. It's lucky that someone noticed that the tire looked rather sickly before I got on the interstate. I just can't help shaking that "there's a conspiracy against me" feeling sometimes. However, I am well aware of the fact that the situation would have been much worse had the tire blown/exploded/flattened/etc. an hour or so into the drive.

Since that wasn't enough fun, I decided to have an even bigger adventure. Using directions my sister printed from Mapquest, I drove to a house I had never been to before. The problem was, my sister neglected to give me the return directions. No problem, just reverse the directions, right? The problem is, I don't always have an easy time reversing directions, plus I lost the directions somewhere in my car.

I took a personal moment, reminded myself that there were only two short turns out of the subdivisions before the long stretch of road that would get me to where I wanted to be. No problem. Easy. Three miles later, I was listening to Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas and feeling confident. I was so happy and proud that little old directionally-challenged me was finding my way without directions. And then... it happened.

My first clue that something was wrong was when I passed by a "Welcome to {Name} County" sign. I had started the drive in one county, knew I was heading to a house in the same county, and was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to leave the county. I called my sister.

ME: "Hi. Um... am I supposed to be in {Name} county?" There was a slight pause.
HER: "I don't think so."
ME: "Well, I just passed a 'Welcome to Name} County sign."
HER: "Where are you?"
ME: "I don't know. Wait... there's a split! I don't know where to go! Crap!"
HER: "Are you on {Name of Street}?"
ME: "I don't know! Crap! I think I just went off an exit I wasn't supposed to!"
HER: "Didn't you stay on {Name of Street}?"
ME: "I don't know! No!!! I'm coming to two turn only lanes! Do I turn right or left?"
HER: "Where are you?"
ME: "I'm about to turn onto {Name of Different Street}!"
HER: "What street are you on now?"
ME: "I don't know!!"
HER: "Well, I can't help you if I don't know what street you're on."
ME: "I'm about to turn onto {Name of Different Street}. There's a Waffle House and an Exxon gas station. Do I turn right or left?"
HER: "I'm sorry, if I don't know where you are I can't help you. Call Aba." {Aba is Hebrew for father)

I pulled into the parking lot of the Waffle House and made the call. The problem was, he also wasn't quite sure where I was. I asked a Waffle House employee for the address and gave it to my father, but he was unable to find the directions on Mapquest. He ended up giving me directions to the exit closest to the house I used to live in. He wanted to give me highway directions to my sister's house, but I opted for the "horse to a stable" approach and drove the way I used to drive when I lived in that house.

So here I am, finally. I stopped for gas and went inside to get a milkshake. I was so riled up that I spend five or so minutes staring at the various frozen concoctions before opting for a gas-station-quality frozen cappuccino combined with whatever a frozen steamed milk drink is.

I got lost less than 4 miles away from my destination. Is it any wonder that driving is far from being my favorite activity?