Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: Jack 'Ass' Thompson and his plan to give the most hectoring caitiffs you'll ever see far more credibility than they deserve. You see, I doubtlessly believe that many of our present-day sufferings are the consequence of the goofy relationship between him and debauched, meretricious jackanapes. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that he is an interesting character. On the one hand, Thompson likes to deny both our individual and collective responsibility to live in harmony with each other and the world. But on the other hand, the really interesting thing about all this is not that I can't, for the life of me, see why he wants to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility. The interesting thing is that he likes to brag about how the members of his retinue are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Hitler In any case, I've heard Thompson say that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Thompson secretly trying to lash out at everyone and everything in sight? Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check.
What's more, ignoring the problem of interventionism will not make it go away. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. One of the great mysteries of modern life is, To what degree is Thompson going to talk about you and me in terms which are not fit to be repeated? This isn't such an easy question to answer, but let me take a stab at it: My general thesis is that the reason he wants to plague our minds is that he's absolutely inane. If you believe you have another explanation for his sullen, noisome behavior, then please write and tell me about it. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: If we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that if Thompson feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself.
How can we expect to embrace diversity if we walk right into Thompson's trap? We can't, and that's why his causeries are more than just blathering. They're a revolt against nature. I call upon Thompson to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to put unprofessional thoughts in our children's minds. Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Thompson that he operates on an international scale to redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to contribute to the intellectual and spiritual health of the body politic.
It is not uncommon for Thompson to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole abusive affair as some great benefit to humanity. If one believes statements like, "Poxy phonies should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers," one is, in effect, supporting the worst sorts of crude toughies there are. The real question here is not, "Which of the seven deadly sins -- pride, envy, anger, sadness, avarice, gluttony, and lust -- does Thompson not commit on a daily basis?". The real question is rather, "To what lengths will Thompson go to create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate, but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats?" You see, he is frightened that we might speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to conceal information and, occasionally, blatantly lie. That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that if I want to lose all self-control, that should be my prerogative. I don't need him forcing me to.
It has been brought to my attention that in times of economic, social, or political crisis, small groups that deflect attention from Thompson's unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen suddenly gain a mass following. While this is true, Thompson has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that his suggestions are like an enormous ruffianism-spewing machine. We must begin dismantling that structure. We must put a monkey wrench in its gears. And we must allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by Thompson, because people tell me that I've catalogued all of Thompson's foibles -- and the list is pretty big. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. Thompson's worshippers are ineducable. Which brings us to the harsh reality that must be faced: Thompson exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. Despite the fact that he is a man of questionable moral character, if Thompson has spurred us to carve solutions that are neither pugnacious nor psychotic, then Thompson may have accomplished a useful thing.
Although Thompson wants to overthrow democratic political systems, if we fail to carry out this matter to the full extent of the law, then we have no one to blame but ourselves. It would be downright jaundiced for him to impede the free flow of information. Even more remarkable, his fantasy is to rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. He dreams of a world that grants him such a freedom with no strings attached. Welcome to the world of jujuism! In that nightmare world it has long since been forgotten that Thompson has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but if we don't give our young people the values that will inspire them to defend with dedication and ferocity the very rights that Thompson so desperately wants to abolish right now, then Thompson's campaigns will soon start to metastasize until they parlay personal and political conspiracy theories into a multimillion-dollar financial empire.
There's a little-known truth that isn't readily acknowledged by the worst classes of closed-minded degenerates there are: Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that it's amazing how low Thompson will stoop to deny minorities a cultural voice -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is he going through now?" I've never gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from Thompson. But what is clear is that his apparatchiks are merely ciphers. Thompson is the one who decides whether or not to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. Thompson is the one who gives out the orders to flout all of society's rules. And Thompson is the one trying to conceal how when I first became aware of his covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how one could truthfully say that he may be engaged in extortion, racketeering, and/or money laundering. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did his reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "Where is his integrity?" To ask that question another way, is his incessant burbling about the wonders of collectivism supposed to convince us that everyone and everything discriminates against him -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls? Whatever the answer, statements like, "He is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. Doesn't Thompson realize that his insincere schemes run counter to human nature and, as such, are doomed to failure? Although I haven't been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that newspapers should report only on items Thompson agrees with. In fact, that's exactly what Thompson does as part of his quest to enable nugatory couch potatoes to punch above their weight. I like to speak of him as "parasitic". That's a reasonable term to use, I suspect, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, I have absolutely nothing in common with Thompson, so to speak. There are two reasons which induce me to submit his shell games to a special examination: 1) He is doing more harm than good to his cause, and 2) his teachings remain opaque to many observers who dismiss him on the basis of his bestial, hideous tractates and general lunacy. I must admit that the second point, in particular, sometimes fills me with anxious concern.
It's only rational to think, "Thanks to Thompson, delusional lunatics can now freely twist my words six ways for Sunday". But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that there is no limit to his impudence? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how I shall do my utmost to preserve the peace. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.
The important point here is not that none of Thompson's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. The vital matter is that Thompson's supporters have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. I could accept, perhaps, newsgroup postings backed by the forces of logic and powerful reasoning. Fulminations marked with hypocrisy and contradiction, however, merit none of my respect. Leaving aside the behavior of other foul-mouthed, distasteful bourgeoisie, by brainwashing his peons with heathenism, Thompson makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave.
Thompson's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is his gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to make widespread accusations and insinuations without having the facts to back them up. Thompson may torment, harry, and persecute anyone who crosses his path right after he reads this letter. Let him. Quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "counterestablishment", I will exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. In short, we mustn't tolerate the likes of Jack 'Ass' Thompson. What you really need to do to be convinced of that, however, is to study the matter for yourself.
