What if you recived the following message from one of your best friends at 10.30 PM?

"Warning: Next time you will see me, do not get scared. My life is a nightmare and I am in a miserable condition. I no longer sleep because I keep crying and taking pills. This is just a warning. I do not want to talk about any of my problems. I will be able to be 2 persons at the same time: the $hitty real one and the other set for going out with friends."

Really I do not know what to say after this one...

Hi everyone,

it's been a while since the last time I blogged and basically nothing special happened. Mostly, I worked, even on bank holidays, Saturdays and Sundays, which is quite stressful because my boss is...well, pretty much like Meryl Streep's Character in "The devil wears Prada".

On Friday evening, at 6.15 PM I learnt that I should have worked on Saturday and Sunday, which, as you can imagine, pretty much upset me. I tried to forget about that because that night I had a party with my friends and I really wanted to have a good time. A good time that I actually had. We went to this club and we had a couple cocktails and danced a lot. My friends also got me dancing on a table with a pole, which was weird because

1.Usually I am very shy

2. I only had non-alcoholic drinks (I was designated driver)

Hopefully pictures of my performance will not end up on the Internet!

On Saturday I went to this Barbecue at Eugenia's place. She has a nice house in the countryside with this huge garden. It was awesome! We ate, had some good wine and laid in the meadow watching the stars and the moon while the guys cleaned up and played table football. It was sooo awesome and there were also fireflies, and I was surprised because I had not seen them in a long long time.

When I got home I was very happy but everything vanished this morning. I had to wake up early to go to my office and when I got in the garage to take my car, it would not start...I was so mad!Finally my father started it (I am not a good mechanic LOL) and I was able to go to work. I was working when I received an odd message from F. who said that she was mad at me. I had no idea of the reason and I was really upset (in the end it turned out that she had misinterpreted something another friend of us had said ...bah)

I was stressed out because dealing with F. is so difficult right now. She is suffering from bulimia and I'd love to help her, but it is impossible because no matter what I do, it is the wrong thing. At first I was very attentive and caring, but she told me that she was feeling suffocated. She said that she did not want to talk about her problems, and I respected that, but then I learnt that she wrote everything on FB (I am one of the few persons in the world who does not have a FB account)...and I was like "WTF you do not want to talk to one of your BF about your problems and then you put them on FB where the whole world can read them?" I really do not want to do, It's complicated...

Today I also cast my vote for the European Parliament as well as for the mayor of my town.... I do not understand why most people decided not to vote....I am disappointed and disgusted by most politicians (except for my passion, Obama....I loved the speech he Gave at Cairo...) Our PM is a clown, so you might be able to understand why I am not fond of politics...but vote is the only way we have to try to change thing, it is a right for which our grandparents fought so we have to honor it.

Well, that was a long blog!

Take care my friends.

Love,

S.

Quote of the day: "....And on days like that, I guess the best you can hope for is that you took something from it....Anything.... ..Anything at all.... ....Even if it's just taking the time to lie in the grass and think about all the things you still have left to do." -Scrubs

Dear all,

I just finished watching the final episode of OTH, (and I liked most of it) but as I do not live in North America I had to watch it on the web (this is sooo unfair!). Unfortunately the sound of the clip was awful and it was hard for me to understand exactly what characters were saying.

That's why I seek your help!

Can anyone write me a transcript of the final voiceover, the one about dreams? This way I will be able to write it on my bedrooms wall along wit all my favorite quotes...

Thank you so much!

Have an awesome weekend!

XOXO

S..

One year and three days ago my life changed irrevocably. When I got on board of that plane to Portugal, I did not know what was ahead of me and in my heart was a mixture of fear and curiosity.

It was not easy to process this experience, the things I learnt, the feelings I had, but now, a year after, I am starting to see things clearly enough to try to make a balance.

When I came back I was the same as when I had left, but at the same time I was completely different. It's a weird feeling, it's like having two personalities living in the same body. All of you know that the first times I spent there were not easy: getting used to the new country, to living alone, to a foreign language…but the truth is that all the challenges I had to face, all the tears I cried, all the times I felt like giving up made me stronger and allowed me to find out a strength I did not think I had.

The good times I had, the wonderful persons I met, the rainbow raising from the ocean, the waves washing the cliffs, the purple flowers of jacarandas, the meadow of Santa Catarina's park, the breathtaking views from the top of the highest mountains, the pleasure given by drinking a Nikita at a bar on the beach on a sweltering summer afternoon, the crazy man selling socks in the streets, the narrow alleys of the Old Town, my office in the basement, my little apartment with no washing machine that became my safe shelter, the bench at the mall where I used to sit to get Internet connection and chat with my family and friends, chocolate cookies that healed my moments of sadness, the little rituals I invented to have time passing more quickly, my long walks, the huge beatles, the fact that I could not stand entering butchery stores and I had to eat frozen hamburgers for 5 months, the frustrating changeability of weather, whales and dolphins, the mini TV who only showed two broadcasts…all this and many more things made me who I am now.

When I got there I was shy, now I realize that being more sociable is necessary (even though not always easy) and that sometimes you have to allow yourself to do things even if you are a little scared because you can't foresee what the outcomes might be. If you never try you will never know what are the things you can do. sometimes you might end up appreciating something you had never considered. S

ometimes the best things in life come from doing the things that scare us the most…We have just one life to live and we have to do the best we can with what we've got…So my suggestion is the following one, live life, take some risks, do not judge persons and thing before you know them, always give the benefit of the doubt and when you have to face bad things try to learn the most from them in order to become better persons.

Quote of the day:

"Nenhum vento sopra em favor a quem nao sabe para onde ir" (Translation: No wind blows in favour for those who does not know where to go). This sentence was written on the wall at the very end of the pier of Funchal port, stretched out towards the ocean.

Have an awesome week!

'Til Death do us apart

Last year a couple of friends of mine got married while I was in Portugal. I was sorry I could not take part in the ceremony. I admire them because they are very young (24 years old) but they made such a serious decision…and I think it take a lot of courage. I'm not one of those who believe that being happy with another person only depends on good luck…In my opinion it's more about commitment. Finally, last week they invited me to see their new house (which, by the way, is awesome, so tastefully furnished with carpets, awesome lamps, paintings&hellip as well as the pictures and videos of the wedding I had missed.

Since then I've been thinking about marriage, and today even more than usual, because I had to go to this other wedding of one of my mom's acquaintances. They were not very young and people no longer believed they would have got married…and they surprised everybody (me included). The risk was they might have looked pathetic, but the truth is they were so cute together…It's true, love makes you look beautiful even if you are not…

God I love weddings! I always have. I love awesome dresses, hair-dos, flowers, the belief that the atmosphere of that day might last forever. I already chose my wedding gown and my maids, the theme colours, the music (I know, I know I'm a pathetic spinster LOL).

In spite of this I don't think I will ever get married…I'm still too selfish to give my all to another person. To promise "I'll be yours 'til death do us apart"…still a part of me really wants this…I'm getting older by the minute and the instinct of starting a family is getting stronger. But to be realistic, how? No stable job, no money to buy a house can you imagine raising a kid in these conditions? What about you? Did you ever think about your wedding? Do you already have ideas for "The best day of your life"?

Please, please, please let me do something crazy

On a sadder note, I think I'm about to resign. The job I started is too hard, It does not leave me any free time (these week I was there from 8.30 to 9.00 pm for two days in a row no break and extra hours not paid). Most time I work on Saturdays and Sundays. This month I had 2 days and a half off. My boss calls me and sends me messages with things to do at any time of the day and of the night and it's driving me crazy. Most times he is an a$$. When I get to sleep (rarely) I only dream about what I will have to do at the office the following day. I barely eat. I often have panic attacks, and I cry a lot. One day I fainted because I had not had time to eat. It is a hard decision to make, because giving up a job with the crisis which is going on might look like an insult, but I also have to think about my health. Just because he pays me a salary, it does not mean that he owns me. The fact that he chose to give up his personal life for his job, does not mean that all the other people around him have to do the same. I resisted for a month, but now I am incredibly tired. For once I should be brave enough to make a choice for my own good. Still I am afraid this might disappoint my parents. My friends begged me to quit because they can't stand seeing me in these conditions…Why does life have to be so hard?

Song of the day "Everybody Knows" John Legend (Totally obsessed with this song right now! It's so awesome and his voice makes me shiver) "And I hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy, I still can't believe you found somebody knew But I wish you the best, I guess. 'Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt We've heard it all before, that everybody knows How to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try"

Quote of the day : "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." Edward Vernon Rickenbacker