Well, just now something happened at my college as I was walking in. An old man was handing out pocket bibles. Being polite and a sucker for that stuff, I took one of them. It was a small pocket Bible with a green cover, containing the texts of the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. I took a look at the inside, and it says that it's distributed by the Gideons.

Gideons International is a group of Evangelical Protestant Christians. However, unlike other Evangelical Protestant Christians, they aren't jerks. They don't scream and preach fire and brimstone or any of that. They just hand out Bibles. That's pretty much it.

Most famously, they went to hotels and put bibles in the rooms. There's a reference to that in the musical Guys and Dolls, when the gambler Sky Masterson seems to have a great knowledge of Scripture, saying that "there've been two things in every hotel room: Sky Masterson and the Gideon Bible."

As far as Evangelism goes, you could do a lot worse than what the Gideons do. They just hand out Bibles to people who will take them, and personally, I see nothing wrong with that. They aren't talking about their own biased interpretation of the Bible, they're just, well... giving the Bible. They aren't rude about it, either. It was just a man standing around asking if anyone wanted a free pocket Bible, and I can respect that. Mainly, the goal of Evangelism is to convert people to Christianity, but alot of Evangelists just make themselves look bad and embarrass themselves and their religion (I'm looking at you, Jack Chick). The Gideons don't seem to have that problem. I notice that their Wikipedia page doesn't have any "controversy" or "criticism" section. All in all, it seems like a decent organization that just wants to spread the Christian message, and I can respect that.

Ughh... Gamespot's Greatest Gaming Hero contest. What a nightmare. Crawling with fanboys and trolls. And I was dumb enough to get involved in it and care.

Initially, I was rotting for Kyle Katarn. Then he lost to Lara Croft, somehow. Then I gave into peer pressure and joined the Bub and Bob and Gordon Freeman bandwagons.

Now I've lapsed into a state of apathy (probably due to my current boredom), and I seem to be writing this in an attempt to abate that.

On another note, I need to find a better way at dealing with the 'lows' I sometimes hit.

So, I'm going to college next year, and they have an opera program there. Next semester, they are doing Gilbert & Sullivan's "The Mikado," which is one of the most popular operas ever written. A silly farce with nice music. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, they hold the auditions a semester in advance, and so as I'm an incoming freshman, I went to audition.

I got cast in the title role. I feel good about myself now.

A strong case can be made for the argument that the internet is the world's strongest fortress for stupidity.

Well, stupidity is not the issue here, but more of a lack of class.

Twice now I have attempted to start a forum game based off of the famous song 'As Someday It May Happen' from Gilvert & Sullivan's comic opera 'The Mikado.' I put the entirety of the song lyrics, and come up with a verse of my own as an example, and say, 'now you try!'

Nobody got it. One person was doing thought it was 'like that freestyle rap thread.' Three people rick-rolled me. One person started using a pop band as a basis for the thing, and when I informed him about how it's based off of a particular song, he said, 'well you should have been more specific.' Another person quoted him to agree.

I put the song title as the topic title. I posted the entirety of the original lyrics, with the exception of the N-word (substituted 'banjo' as is normally the case), and I wrote my own verse. How much more bloody specific do I have to be?

I'm almost positive that Pianist is the only person in Off-Topic who has ever even heard of Gibert & Sullivan, or familiar with their operas.

It's The bleeding Mikado. It's one of the most popular operas ever written. And instead it's all about pop bands or whatever here...

I bemoan the lack of class.

So is the first line of Stephen Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler's famous musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Based on the nineteenth-century legend of the demon barber who murdered his customers and, with the help of his assistant, Nellie Lovett, made them into meat pies. It opened on Broadway in 1979 starring Len Cariou in the title role and Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Lovett. The show won eight Tony Awards, including best musical, best score, best book, best actor (Cariou), and best actress (Lansbury).

What makes the show so amazing? The score, plain and simple. The musical score for Sweeney Todd was composed by Stephen Sondheim, composer and lyricist for not only Sweeney Todd, but also for the musicals Assassins, Into the Woods, Follies, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Sunday in the Park with George (for which he won a Pulitzer Prize for Drama), Passion, and A Little Night Music (ever heard the song "Send in the Clowns?" That's what it's from), and did lyrics for Gypsy and West Side Story.

But that's enough of harping on Sondheim's reputation. The actual score for Sweeney Todd is highly complex,operatic, even,and it makes heavy use of counterpoint, notably in the "Kiss Me Quartet," and leitmotif, notably in the eponymous ballad, and other recurring melodies.But I must be honest - the songs aren't "pretty" or "hummable," but they don't have to be. The music passes the drama perfectly, with the "Epiphany" being Sweeney's meltdown, "The Contest" being bombastic prattle, and the three "Johanna" songs, sung by Anthony Hope, Judge Turpin, and Sweeney. Anthony's is a love ballad, whereas Judge Turpin's is a Mea Culpa, and it's quite freaky, as he battles with his lust for his sixteen year-old war (such a creepy song that it was cut fron the original Broadway performance, though available on the cast recording). Sweeney's rendition is a soft lyrical piece that he sings as he slits the throats of his customers.

He's a murderer? Yes. It's a story about revenge. Sweeney is out for revenge against the Judge shippedhim off tothe penal colonies of Australiaon a trumped-up charge, raped his wife, and adopted his daughter (possibly out of remorse). However, he snaps and decides to kill indiscriminantly until he can get back at the Judge and the Beadle. What follows is, well, I'm not giving any more spoilers.

The two most famous people to play the title role are Len Cariou, who originated the role on Broadway, and George Hearn, who replaced Cariou, and has been in two filmed versions: the 1982 touring cast with Angela Lansbury and in a later concert version with Patti Lupone. They are considered the best Sweeney's, though their approaches are different, and fans of the show are divided as to who is better.

Len Cariou won a Tony Award for the role, and his performance is on the Original Broadway Cast Recording. He portrayed Sweeney as somewhat more mild-mannered and more soft-spoken then Hearn, and thus is easier to sympathize with as an anti-hero. Unfortunately, it was his last great Broadway performance, as the part was so vocally demanding that it ruined his voice.

George Hearn won an Emmy for his portrayal, and he is clearly a better singer than Len Cariou was. His portrayal was a bit less subtle than Cariou's, and his performance of the "Epiphany" is very effective. Personally, I find him a bit over-bearing, but he is certainly a better singer, and considering that this musical has more singing than dialogue, that's not much of a problem.

Also, Tim Burton is directing a movie version, starring Johnny Depp in the title role, Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin, and Sacha Baron Cohen as Adolfo Pirelli, a pompous rival barber. The movie is set for nationwide release on December 21.

1. The true Hermit must never start threads to bait the consolite. He must never bash the console for sake of angering the consolite. He must never start a thread bashing a console on basis of hardware, control, or alleged lack of games.

2. The true Hermit must never rise to anger. He must bear the misconceptions of the consolites with patience. He must seek not to attack, but to enlighten the ignorant consolite. If the consolite is not educated, then the Hermit will continue the same, never stooping to attack the consolite's system of choice.

3. The true Hermit knows that it is the consolite, not the console, that is what needs fixing.

4. The Hermit cares not for the exclusives of the other consoles. Never should he covet the games of other systems. The true Hermit is content with the vast library that the PC has. He must never criticize the libraries of the other systems. As such, since the PC has so many exclusives, the Hermit must never be upset if a single exclusive is ported to the consoles, because he knows that the PC version will be superior in most cases.

5. It is of the utmost importance that the Hermit never directly state that the gaming console is inferior to the PC. He may express his belief, based on fact, that the PC is superior. He may state the PC's superiority, but never the console's inferiority.

There's my writing of the Hermit's previously unwritten code of honor. We'll see if it gets approved by the other Hermits. >_>

See if you can remember who said them.

"Gears of War is okay but Red Steel revolutionizes the
way we see FPS"

"I rated Half-Life 2 what it deserved (a 1.0) because it's a blatant copy off Halo"

"Halo 2 > Starcraft and Diablo"

"Halo 2 > PC Gaming" (this is a different person from the above post)

"Halo 3 will get a 10" (this is from the same person as above)

"Sony would never sell their customers a defective product"

"I only play true Sony games"

"It's impossible for the cows to be owned"

"I daresay I'm smarter than the mods here, most cows here are"

"The Sims and World of Warcraft are RTS games"

"PC has the smallest and worst library" - wait, that's not one person, that's half of the lemming population. Nevermind.

"The best RPG of 2003 was Halo!" - oh, wait, that was a casual gamer from school. You wouldn't guess who. Nevermind.

"But what about pointed sticks?" - no, that was from Monty Python

"Halo 2 is the best game ever made, at least until Halo 3 comes out"

"I am not a fanboy" - Actually, that's pretty much all the big-name cows.

"Gameplay>Graphics" - And now for something completely different: the sheep posting up pics, desperately trying to prove that their system's graphics aren't so bad. Make up your freakin' mind. No, that's not from any one person.

"PC gaming is dead" - no, that's pretty much every clueless console fanboy.

"A good gaming PC costs five thousand dollars" - the same as above

"Gears of War has jaggies. FACT"

"If Gears of War was on the PS3, the higher standards would have put it at AA"

"Halo 2 is better than Half-Life 2. Halo 2 scored a 9.4, whereas Half-Life 2 scored 9.2" - well, that's multiple lemmings, name one, anyone will do

This is now a transcript from one fanboy:

"Counter-Strike is overrated casual garbage"

*ignores the fact that CS is on GS's "Greatest Games of All Time List*

"Halo 2 was not a disappointment, look, it got a 10 in gameplay!"

And that ends that transcript.

"Once I get my PS3, I'm selling my PC."

"Doom 3 and Prey have deeper multiplayer modes than Counter-Strike and Halo 2"

So there you have it - Assorted Stupid Statements, brought to you by the fanboys of System Wars, a guy from my school, and Eric Idle of Monty Python. Well, Idle's statement wasn't particularly stupid, and it was a hilarious sketch...

Anyways, I will leave you with one last statement-

Please... please stop the stupidity... I'm beggin you...

>_>

So before I amused myself by posting on the forums, I would read the user reviews from the other people. And there were alot of really, really stupid ones. You'd be surprised how uninformative they can be. I'll go over a few

One person who rated Kingdom Hearts 2 very low, can't remember what the exact score was, as it's gone, I think, but his review was just three words. "Terrible. Kiddy. Efeminate." You may be asking how that got posted, because it doesn't meet the 100 character requirement. Well, here's how this reviewer got around it - he copied and pasted the review guidelines twice. Nice to know that you're self-consciously mature. Now, uhh... actually tell me what's wrong with the game? >_>

A review for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on the GBA. 1.0. First off, he said that it "may very well be the worst game ever, it is stupid and VERY boring." And yet, he didn't actually say anything about the game, apart from A. he only played it for ten minutes, and B. that the graphics sucked. He also went on to say "I am an underground gamer," and he insulted Gamespot, saying "they wouldn't know a good game if it slapped them in the face." >_>

A review for Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Someone put it at a five-point-something, and said "Almost as good as KOTOR." Yeah... if you can find that review and figure out what the crap he's saying, please tell me. >_>

There have also been a few really stupid reviews for Halo. One person put it in the fives, and called it "Microsoft Garbage." He went on to rant about how "all xbox seems to run on his shooter, and war games," and how "most xbox games r suitable for nerds nd preps." And that's being generous towards his atrocious spelling. Once again, I'd like to ask you to actually talk about the friggin' game >_>

Also, there was one review I saw for Counter-Strike, where the person reviewed it at a 1.1, and half of the review was whining about how you couldn't get into a server because it's all clans. An issue that has never come up with me. Granted, I play Source, not 1.6, but... >_>

And I saw another review, which was even less informative. The entire review consisted of a metaphor that made absolutely no sense, and I'll spare your brain cells the agony of the details. >_>

Also, a very uninformative review for the game LotR: Battle for Middle-Earth II. Rated it at a 4.6, and said "not as good as Dragonshard." And it's fine and dandy to rate a popular game low, as long as your review is at least informative. But now. The entire review was along the lines of "The music isn't as good as Dragonshard. The graphics aren't as good as Dragonshard. BUY DUNGEONES AND DRAGONS DRAGONSHARD TODAY!" Thank you, but I wanted a review for the game, not a freakin' advertisement for an entirely different game. >_>

Another review I read that made absolutely no sense at all. Someone rating Final Fantasy 7 at a 9.9. Makes sense, the FF franchise is very popular, and alot of people love 7. But what doesn't make sense is the fact that he calls it "underappriciated." Uhh... you're calling a game that is rated at a 9.5, is on "The Greatest Games of All Time" list at Gamespot, and won the Gamefaqs poll for "Best. Game. Ever." underapprieciated? Underapprieciated by whom, I might ask? Also, the review was about a paragraph long, with the only informative part being some praise for it's open-ended gameplay. Now, I've never played FFVII, but... the Final Fantasy franchise isn't too well known for being "open-ended,"  is it? >_>

So... yeah... those are a few crappy reviews I've read, and a very sincere plea to everyone who may write a review: please... please use proper spelling and grammar, and actually put some effort into the review, and please be informative. If you're too lazy to write a decent review, then don't write the freakin' review. That is all. >_>

So, the user TheOneMan gave me an invite to co-found his Union, titled "They Might Be a Union." It's for pretty much anyone who's a fan of the band "They Might Be Giants."

Anyone interesting in joining can send either him or myself a PM.

Hello, to whomever may be reading this blog. My username is PannicAtack, but just call me Pannic. Anyways, I recently signed up on this. You can often find me in the system wars forum. I often post in the stupid topics, or any topics if a particularly ignorant fanboy has posted. That being said, my biggest pet peeve is a console fanboy, especially the "bash-other consoles" fanboy. To be honest, these kinds of fanboys are the reason I signed up.