I know now why so many people decide to just stop at the High School levil and never go on to college

THERES TO MANY GOD D**N FORMS TO FILL OUT AND TOO MANY CHOICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean really! I was up till like 3 AM last night fillout forms, writing essays, E-mailing teachers for recomendations, worrying about if I had enough left on my debit card to pay the admissions fee, wondering "Oh I shouldn't apply here, I'll never get it" and "Oh I won't apply here, this looks too easy." Plus I spent like 200 dollars in one freaking night without leaving my living room and not going on amaizon OR E-bay (but I must say that is a great feat) I'm so worried my essays are gonna suc, my teachers won't give me a good review, my parents are gonna flip out on me for applying to some schools where I have little chance of getting in. Plus theres so many of them! And it's like "Oh this one has a ski team, I'll apply there!" or "Oh, this has the ROTC program, I'll definitley apply there!" (ROTC is a milatary thing where you're undeployable during college, and you become an officer after you graduate, but you gotta enlist for 2 more years. Plus they pay for everything, not just tuiction) Then it's like, "Oh I only 75 dollars left and don't getpaid 150 till next month, so NOW I'm looking at the deadlines as to when the money has to be in, plus I havn't taken my ACT yet and don't dake it till October 27th, and a lot of applications are due in November, and I'm like for real freaking out!!!! I haven't even started college and I'm already stressed out about it. The only thing that I'm not all psycho about thank god is the tuiction b/c that's already taken care of.

Well, meeting my booe's parents did not go as bad as I thought it was gonna. He picked me up at like 6:30 and I was so freaking nervious but he's all like "It's all good baby girl, they're gonna love you." So I just trusted him and when we got there his mother//father were at the door and apperently he didn't tell them I was white, but they didn't meniton anythign about it and just kind of looked at me like 'wow, okay, um, you're white!" but they were very nice and I gathered they were kind of upset at Treyvon for not telling them I was white but whatever. Then I got to meet his grandfather who freaking hated me. He said hello and shook my hand when I first met him, but he was very distent and cold to me the entire night I was there. But me and Trey's parents hung out in the living room for like half an hour while dinner cooked. They asked me if I lived in NY all my life, what I planed to do after HS (I told them I wanted to be a cop and hardly audible 'typical' from the grandfather who in turn got an evil look from his mother and Treyvon) and I told them I wanted to go to the State university of San Fransisco and they were glad about hat. Then Trey told me he was thining of going to graduite school in San Diego (he's a freshman at our local community college for computer science) San Diego is close to San Fransisco right? Anyway, so then we had dinner, Pork Loin on the grill (I have yet to tell them I'm Jewish so I just mentally told god sorry and ate it. And it was freaking good!!) with mixed veggies and potatoes. But we had very plesent dinner conversation, and his dad is a Republican and I'm a Liberal Democrat so we had a very civilized debate on the Death penilty. His grandfather stayed silent mostly thought out dinenr except oask for someone to pass him something. and his mom served one of the Pepridge farms choclate cakes for dessert. Then the whole family went in and we watched TV (and I thought sitting between two people was a daughter's parent's deal but apperently the bat swings both ways.) Then after like an hour, a lot of 'thanks for having me overs' and 'you're welcome back anytime dear' Treyvon drove me home, kissed me goodnight and then went home.

But god he is so freaking amazing! And his parents like me. For real though, this guy is like a god! I think I'm in love

So I've been dating this amazing guy named Treyvon for like the past month and a half (August 17th was when we first met. I've mentioned him before right?) Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to meet his parents this Friday and I've never met any of my booe's parents before. I mean I'm a nice girl, I'm respectable, but he thing is...

You know the old southern black guys who hate's everything white who always had some horror story about what some group of teenage white boys did to him when he was younger? Well, guess what his grandfather is who lives with them? Not only that, his grandfathers uncle was freaking lynched by a mob of whites before his granddad moved up to NY. So I'm like really, really nervious about that. I mean, I have no clue how to act around his grand father, I'm not sure if Treyvon's mom inherited his hatred for whites (he tells me she didn't so that's a plus) But this sucks. I mean I really like this guy, I want his family to like me, but I'm not about to lie down and apoligize for what a group of people did way before my time, even if it was really, really sucky. Do I tell him I'm just not intrested and not come, or do I suck it up and hope his grand dad act's nice to me. Also, would it be bad to bring choclates and flowers to his parents, or is that more of a guy thing?

My mom has been out of a job for like 2 months, and she just got a job working doubles at a nursing home, and we can barly afford food and rent let alone the cable/ internet bill. She say's we'll be getting the cable back before the 25th, but she isn't sure. So onThursday night our cable went out (that's why I wan't on allweekend) and I'm currently on the schools computer. So I haven't gotten banned, they didn't find out who I was, I just don't ave acess except for school (and I'm using my lunchtime for this and I doubt the librarian will buy I have a report due next block every day and it's an emergency I use the computer)

But keep your hopes up that we'llhave enough money for the cable before the 25th. I amNOT missing the premiere!!