Hey All

Lets Start with the Jokes Enjoy.

Joke 1

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any
man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you
cannot go back down except to exit the
building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . . On
the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love
kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the
housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the
fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!

Small Town Cop

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."

"And I said be quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Now they call it an Epic fall and I call it just the beginning.

The L.A. Lakers got stomped on and lose badly in 6 games to the Boston Celtics and of course me being an L.A. Lakers fan, I picked them to win in 6 games but ooohhhh was I wrong but instead of people giving the young Laker team credit for atleast making it to the Finals and going through the hostile West, everyone is calling it an Epic Fall and How this proves beyond any doubt that Kobe can't carry his team to victory in the Finals and he ain't MJ material.

NEWS FLASH PEOPLE......

Kobe was never Jordan and never will be Jordan, they are two different people in two different eras with two different teams so stop the comparision. Kobe is Kobe and MJ is MJ. Kobe doesn't wake up every day and say I wonder what Mike will do next. Kobe wants to be great like Mike but he doesn't want to be him and thats what everyone needs to know and understand. Kobe isn't here to dethrone Jordan as the best Kobe is here to just put his stamp on the game of basketball and be the best he can be and win Championships. I wonder what everyone will call it next year when Phil Jackson reaches his 10th title and Kobe wins more championships and remember this at least Kobe can get those accolades what are you being compared to?????

Peace Out and Thanks for Reading

http://www.respectkobe.com/?p=46#comments

My Lakers are down 0-2 to the Boston Celtics and everyone is giving the Boston's Defense so MUCH credit and to some extent I will also because I didn't expect the Lakers to be in this hole and I had them winning this series in 6. To me the Lakers are the better team, we have everything covered from top to bottom on our roster and for us to be in this hole has me wondering.

Game 1. Lakers in control until Pierce's injury comeback and 2 back to back 3 pointers that killed all the momentum in game one and Celtics take game 1 and I was like ok the Lakers can get the next game, no big deal Pierce's comeback won't happen in game 2 and we should be fine. OOOHHH was I wrong.

Game 2. Lakers rolling to start but here come the refs with their whistles killing the Lakers momentum, Celtics catch up go on their own run. Kobe goes to the bench after picking up 2 tickie tack fouls on offense and defense. Then here comes the benches and Loen Powe putting on a free throw clinic in 15 minutes of playing time. Lakers fall behind by 24 and its looks like they are done for the night but no the Lakers try to make a come back to win the game but in the end the free throws disparity in the game was too much for the Lakers to overcome. Many say oohhh well the Lakers didn't get any calls because they didn't go to the basket and only settled for jumpers. Well I tell them thats a bunch of BULL because if you watched this game and say the Lakers never went to the hole then you are a fool, the Lakers weren't getting the calls when they were going to the hole.

Others will say well it was the home court advantage and it's been happening this whole post season and I'll say yeah I can't wait to see the Boston fans disgusted after game 3 when the refs call no calls for them.

They say the Lakers weren't agressive enough and their defense is non-existant and I will ask them with the way the calls were going how agressive do you think the Lakers were gonna get??? The more calls against you the Less agressive you get. Boston won the game at the free throw line, are you gonna tell me thats fair and are you gonna tell me that it was the Bostons D and are you gonna tell me the better team is winning because they got more calls and went to the free throw line??????????????

To me the refs hold to much in their hands in these games and the NBA is not letting the talent be displayed and they aren't letting the better team show. It ain't the Bostons D folks and it ain't the D the Lakers ain't got it's the refs. 10 free throws to 28 are you really gonna tell me game 3 was even????? A foul is a foul any where on the floor call it evenly or don't call it at all thats all I'm saying

GO LAKERS WIN THE THREE GAMES IN L.A........

Hey All

New Jokes in my blog for ya'll to enjoy and I reach level 13, which I think I will be on for quite awhile.

The Time

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Secret To Success

A young man asked an old rich guy how he made his money. The old guy said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 cents. The next morning, I invested those 10 cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 p.m. for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of a $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us 10 million dollars."

The Test

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.

The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.

"Simple," said the department manager, "Your fellow applicant answered question #5, 'I don't know.' You answered, 'Neither do I.'"

Peace Out

A few Jokes just to update my blog and glad that ya'll enjoy them and pass the jokes around.

Two Nuns

A rather drunk man was walking along the street one day. He was staggering quite a bit and made two nuns that were approaching him very nervous, so the two nuns split apart and one walked to the man's left and one walked to the man's right.

After the nuns were past the man, he turned around and said, "Now how in the hell did she do that?"

The Maid

A guy dials his home phone number and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answers the woman.

"We don't have a maid," says the man.

The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."

The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with."

The maid puts the phone down and the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."

The man pauses for a moment and says, "Ummmm... Is this 567-5309?"

Family Joke

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on


The Reply:

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad

Thanks for reading Peace Out

Pass the jokes around and thanks for reading this blog.....

A Wife's Revenge

A man goes to see the rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

"What's wrong?" the rabbi asks.

"My wife is poisoning me." the man replies.

The rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?"

"Tell you what," he says, "Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man anxiously says, "Yes."

"Take the poison."

A Stiff Drink

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along. "What'll you have?" he asked.

"Oh ,I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out.

"Yuck! It's nasty poison!" she sputtered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said
"Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts"
Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me"
The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!"
Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can't jump!"

Female Jokes

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, "I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

Peace Out