Just fot Laughs :)

Here are some more...

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, I didn't realize that my radar detector wasn't on.

3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?

4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me.

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school.

9. I pay your salary.

10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist.

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.

15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

16. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how they are far ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and
got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of
control.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a
hair dryer at
passing
cars to see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise
your voice.)

3) Insist that your e mail address
is:Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair dancing.

6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) Reply to everything someone says with,"That's what
you think."

10) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the
brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like
it that way.

11) Don't use any punctuation

12) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

14) Sing Along at the opera.

15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme

16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the
same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

17) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell
them what you're doing.
For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom.

18) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

19) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

20) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies

21) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"

22) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard.

23) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I
Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

24) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"

25) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head
that bother me, its the
voices in your head that do"

26) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go.

27) Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother
is here"

hope you all enjoyed!! :D

--------4 days until my birthday, YAY!!!!!!!