Most fun guitar song:
"Drive My Car"

Least fun guitar song:
"I Want You; She's so Heavy"

Coolest-sounding guitar:
"Helter Skelter"

Best vocal performance:
Ringo Starr on "With a Little Help from My Friends"

Best overall vocal performance:
George Harrison

Worst vocal performace:
Paul McCartney on "I've Got a Feeling"

Best George Harrison vocal performance:
"I Me Mine"

Best Ringo Starr vocal performance:
"With a Little Help from My Friends"

Best Paul McCartney vocal performance:
"Can't Buy Me Love"

Best John Lennon vocal performance:
"Eight Days a Week"

Best dreamscape:
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/With a Little Help from My Friends"

Worst dreamscape:
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARD:
Most distubring moment:
John Lennon F*CKING STARING AT ME WHILE ON HELIUM during "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

I played through San Andreas again recently. This is, what, the twentieth time? Nah, more than that. Anyway, after playing through San Andreas again, I decided to pop in the GTA IV disc. Boy, that game has not aged well.

Yes, a game that game out in 2004 has aged gracefully, and a game that came out last year by the same developer in the same series has not. Why? Let me break it down:

GTA IV was amazing the first time I played through it, I'm not going to lie. After I beat it, I felt no urge to replay it. San Andreas was amazing the first time I played it, too. After I beat it, I immediately wanted to replay it. In the time that I've had GTA IV, I've beaten it once, and gotten part-way though it once. Also in that time, I've beaten San Andreas twice, and gotten part-way though it twice. Oh, and I'd had San Andreas for three-and-a-half years before that.

With GTA IV, Rockstar North just tried too hard. The graphics are amazing, and the interaction between the characters is great. But Niko moves way too slowly, and when he gets in a car, he can't drive at all. Maybe it's just me, but these aren't realistic driving physics. Barely tapping the gas shouldn't make you spin out uncontrollably. Luckily, you can just hop in a taxi and go wherever.

With San Andreas, Rockstar North did an amazing job. The graphics are very good, and I prefer them to GTA IV's, because they're not as dark and dreary. The characters are generally better (okay, San Andreas doesn't have Brucie, but, no matter how awesome he is, he's only one character), and you grow to loathe the people who have betrayed you, unlike GTA IV, where you're just like "wat". CJ moves at a perfect pace, and handles everything except stairs like a human being. The driving physics are fun; you actively want to drive around. Sure, you have to drive everywhere, but who cares?

In GTA IV, Rockstar North got rid of the RPG elements of San Andreas. Dude, I loved those. When CJ got full muscle, I felt a sensation of pride. I don't care if it's a sin; my fingers hurt, but I did it. Now to work on stamina! Then maybe my MP5 skill, so I can move whilist shooting! In GTA IV, you have none of that. I hope you like how Niko handles; he's not going to get any better!

Also, I'd rather have Denise or Millie calling me saying I haven't been paying attention to them every few hours than Roman wanting to go BOWLING, play POOL or DARTS, or even SEE BIG AMERICAN BOOBS! Boobs are great, don't get me wrong, but I can live without pixelated ones.

All in all, San Andreas is a much better game. It chose fun over realism, something all games should do. After all, isn't that why we play videogames?

Well, kind of. I plan to post in Teh Lair for a while, IF PEOPLE POST IN IT , but I have no plans to post anywhere else because I don't want to, yeah

But, hey! More inciteful blags will come your way in the mean time!

tl;dr: I will be posting blags that will mean nothing and may or may not actually be funny.

i just pooed in my pants

So, yeah. This isn't one of those "I'm back!" things; I'm not. Instead, whilist complaining about the load times of the GameSpot forums on my computer, I'll recap my year so far! Whee!

First, I beat Fallout 3, Operation: Anchorage, The Pitt and Broken Steel. Great game, that. I think O:A is massively underrated, and is probably second best, to Broken Steel. The Pitt, however, is a whole 'nother ball of wax. It's great, don't get me wrong, but what were they thinking when they put in 100 steel ingots to collect for an achievement?! Whatever. Some sweet weapons to be got, though. And, finally, Broken Steel. TOTALLY worth the money. I'm only level 25, but already I've gotten loads of useful perks I couldn't get the first time through, like Explorer. The side-quests are amazing, too. The Amazing Aqua-Cura is just great.

Then, a while ago, Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned came out. It's really good; way more action-focused and replayable than the main game of GTA IV.

Um... what else... oh! Fable II! Knothole island is badass, and See the Future's even better. I love the new sceptre and crown. The Colloseum is badass, as well.

I got Resident Evil 5, too. It's cool. The co-op features are well-implimented, and it just feels extremely well-done.

Now for the non-gaming-related. I've been watching American Idol pretty heavily. I wanted Danny to win, but we all know Adam is going to. Now that Danny's gone, Kris is the last, best hope of humanity. I miss Scott, too. He was quite funny.

I'm beginning to like several bands a lot more, such as Foo Fighters, Black Crowes, The Offspring, Whitesnake, T.Rex and The Steve Miller Band. I love Foo Fighters' The Colour and the Shape. Cilche, I know, but it's got some great songs on it, like See You, Up in Arms, New Way Home and Enough Space.

And, um, not much else goin' on. I'm turning 16 next month; don't know if I'll write about it. Sophomore year will be ending on the 20th, I think. It's been a good year, I guess. Made some friends, had some laughs, got some detentions, etc. Standard stuff.

I guess that's it. I wanna get Afro Samurai and those new X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Wanted games. If you'd like to mail them to me, please send them to...

Sure, why not.

10: Soulcalibur IV
Er... it's a very good fighting game. I wish I had more to say. Oh, yeah: Yoda is cheap. So is Star Killer. Fighting either is a death sentence. And speaking of death sentences: Tower of Lost Souls. Cheap as all hell.

9: Fanal Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
One thing I didn't like about this game was the inability to cancel an action after clicking it. It lead to several deaths (Angeal Penance, I'm looking at you). The side missions are fun, and collecting random junk for people's cool, I guess.

8: Grand Theft Auto IV
I was addicted to this game for weeks. Then I played multiplayer for months. But, after that, I barely touched the game. It has barely any replay value. And San Andreas was a million times better.

7: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
The final boss fight was the MOST EPIC FIGHT EVER, EVER, EVER. Such nostalgia! And, going with nostalgia, ACT FOUR, FTW. The only reason this didn't score much higher was the AWFUL act three. I felt like killing myself. Plus, it wasn't as good as MGS3.

6: Fallout 3
The Mirelurk Hunters are frightening when they carge at you and you're out of Flamer ammo. But dialogue choices make it bearable. I love games where you have to choose exactly what to say to people (I loved Mass Effect last year for this). And Vault Boy is so... adorable (not gay).

5: Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode One
The game was funny as hell. Sure, CTRL+ALT+DEL is a better webcomic, but they don't have a game, do they?! I gave the award to the first one because it was newer, funnier, and more fun. Plus, it didn't kill Dr. Whimple and the mime. They're the second and third best videogame characters ever (scroll down for #1).

4: Spider-Man: Web of Shadows
So what if I never beat it? The first Vulture fight was EPIC AS ALL HELL. The symbiote-ized previous bosses boss fights were cheap, but tremendously rewarding to beat. Oh, and Black Cat >>>>>>>>> Mary Jane.

3: Saints Row 2
Yes, it's better than GTAIV. It's more fun, more free, and more funny. And the soundtrack is awesome. "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" by JET and "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger are awesome to cruise Stillwater to.

2: Fable II
I loved the side-quests and British humour. I see so little of that here in America. Shame. The gameplay was great, and Chesty easily wins the "greatest videogame character EVER" award. RIP CHESTY NEVAR 4GET

1: Rock Band 2
If this wasn't obvious, I don't know what is. Hundreds of songs released in one year, accross loads of genres. The best songs on-disc, however, are "Drain You" by Nirvana, "Peace Sells" by Megadeth, "Any Way You Want It" by Journey, "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas, "Alive" by Pearl Jam, "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, "Shackler's Revenge" by Guns N' Roses and "Night Lies" by Bang Camaro. There are loads of great ones, though.

And because I love Life., the top three albums of '08:

3: "Good to Be Bad" by Whitesnake
2: "Chinese Democracy" by Guns N' Roses
1: "David Cook" by David Cook