What... the hell?...

At first I was just annoyed that Gamespot gave GTA4 a 10/10, now I'm just irate.

It seems that Gamespot doesn't respect the opinion of others, despite their user review system. I checked my messages on this site to see that my review of GTA4 has been erased, and I have a warning for trolling:

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9283/unfairga1.png

Hmmm... thats funny, I don't remember doing any of that... maybe its because I DIDN'T! It seems like my honest score of 6.5 was alot more offensive than this review:

I probably should have saved a copy of the review so I could post it here, but I had no idea that anyone would find it offensive. Oh well, I guess this is what I get for calling the game "worth a rental" instead of "a pile of sh**."

Man, it's been a while since my last blog post, but I need somewhere to vent, especially with GTA fanboys having a metaphorical orgy in the forums. Anyway, I decided to make a topic about how Resident Evil 4 is more deserving of a ten than GTA 4. It seemed reasonable, especially since I posted it in the heated debate machine that is system wars. Next thing I know, it was locked:

http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=26373950

Hold on a sec, I need a soda... *crack*... Ok...

Anyway, I did what I thought was a reasonable response to something like this and checked the system wars rules. I didn't really find anything that I might have violated (But I did realize how strict the rules are getting. No misquoting? But misquoting is so fun...). I also realize that there is a GTA discussion thread, but why would I start a discussion on RE4 there? I just mentioned it briefly in the thread, because of... you know, the whole 10/10 thing.

This got me thinking about the game industry and, even more so, the game critics. It seems that, with all of its innovative ideas, Resident Evil 4 is much more deserving of a 10 than any GTA game will ever be. Hell, we're still seeing its camera and aiming system used everywhere. So why would Gamespot try to shut me up about it? I think that it could be what some call the "hype machine."

The "hype machine" is when hype for a game builds up so much that people just can't stand to be dissapointed by it. Sure, hype kills or hurts alot of games, Bioshock is a good example of this, but with some, the hype drives the game into a forced success. This is what happened with GTA4 and Halo 3, and it'll happen again with Metal Gear Solid 4 (Maybe not, we'll see).

So, is Gamespot going slowly insane in a disturbing and lovecraftian manner? Probably not, but the giving of credit where it isn't deserved definetly reflects the state of game critics as a whole.

As Ben "yahtzee" Croshaw once said: "If in the future we all find ourselved playing 'Captain Bland's Monotonous Adventure,'... then I want you to know that I f*****g called it."

Sources:

Croshaw, Ben. "Zero Punctuation: Halo 3." The Escapist (2007). 4 May 2008 .

Any main character from a JRPG:

http://www.gamerevolution.com/images/games/ps2/final_fantasy_x3/final_fantasy_x3_001.jpg

http://www.finalfantasynetwork.com/games/final-fantasy-12/images/artwork/full/art8.jpg

Skinny, body-hairless arian clones UNITE!

Seriously, do they just use the same designs over and over again?

Cliche #2: Large, thinly dressed musclemen.

http://www.gametricks.org/godofwar2/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/kratos12.jpg

http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/0/938400_85085_front.jpg

Ugh... I hope this doesn't catch on. I don't need any more male nakedness...

and finally, Cliche #3: Robot suits!

http://www.thegamegods.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/crysis-box.jpg

http://www.tech2.com/media/images/2007/Aug/img_15991_timeshiftdated.jpg

http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/media/2007/06/metroid_prime_3_official_boxart_huge.jpg

http://z.about.com/d/compactiongames/1/0/7/G/Halflife2_5.jpg

http://techfreep.com/images/gearsofwar5.jpg

http://punchbutton.beloblog.com/archives/images/0207/crackdown.jpg

I think we can all agree that this is overdone. Can't we find other ways to explain superpowers?

Well, at least robot suits aren't as bad as arian clones...

In a time where shooting games are everywhere, it seems one genre of games was left behind: fighters. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we don't have any coming out in the near future. What I'm saying is al the fighting games that are coming out are sequels of games. We don't see anyone making new games or trying something new in the genre. There is, however, one game that caught my interest: http://www.marvel.com/news/other.1487.First_Look_at_EA's_Upcoming_Marvel_Fighting_Game but this game is far from release. Until the above game comes out or something new is announced, well just have to keep playing our sequels... *goes to buy Virtua Fighter 5*

Edit: The Marvel game has already been canceled... oh well.

Naked Zombie

Looking at a lot of popular games today, I realised... man, horror games own face! Then I realised why; many popular games shouldn't really take themselves seriously. Lets look at the obvious example: Halo. I mean, its about a guy in an almost indestructable green suit that takes on whole armies by himself because all the other guys don't seem to stay alive longer than three minutes while everybody is getting killed by evil pubic crabs that make people blow up. That sounds like a frikkin comedy to me!

Lets see, what else do we have? Theres Splinter cell, God of War and Goddess of Wa- I mean Heavenly sword. Two of themare both about people, an Albino with red body paint and a woman with red, obviously dyed hair, who have swords attached to their arms and can take on legions of enemies for no appearent reason. The other is about a guy with blinding green lights duct-taped to his head who stops generic terrorist plots. But at least one of these games was good... sorry Splinter Cell fans, it isn't your game.

Now lets look at horror-based games. In Resident Evil, your trapped in a mansion with frikkin dead people that are desperately trying to consume your flesh. I think it would be time to get serious (sorry if I sound too much like Serious Sam). Then theres Condemned, a game where a bunch of drug addicts, hobos, and random monsters come out of nowhere just to beat the crap out of you. I mean... holy crap!

So, to conclude this wonderful little essay of mine, horror ganes kick ***, and your favorite games (I'm talking to you Splinter Cell and Madden fans) suck ***.

Well, since X-box live marketplace has been turned into a flaming, tar-covered digital mass, I think Imight as well post one of these watchamacallits.

I find that I am more and more disturbed at the halo advertisements on virtually everything on teh internets, and I am wondering when this will die down. I dunno... maybe in a few months or so? Anyway, since it was the halo-tards that ruined x-box live, I should probably take this time for a big "screw U." Remember, this is a special occasion. It's not common that I use the letter U in place of the word.

If you are still with me after the senile jumble of letters above, I think I should move on to the meat of this rant. I was reading Game Informer today and made the mistake of looking at the top selling games. Now, I know very well that I shouldn't be looking at "that page," because, you know, it's bad for my blood-pressure, but once in a while I need to be reminded about why I shouldn't look at "that page."

Anyway, I noticed something we, as gamers, all know very well: the **** sells. You know what I'm talking about, the movie games and sports games. I mean, Transformers is still up there. Why does this crap sell so much? Then it got me thinking: why the hell does halo sell so much? I mean, lets face it, halo isn't exactly a dumbed down movie game.

I never really figured out an answer to that question, but I do know one thing: it takes away from all the other games that deserve just as much praise. For some reason, these games get so much attention, they leave other great games, like Condemned, F.E.A.R., Overlord, Metroid Prime, and Bioshock in the dust. Look at it this way, did you ever see a soda advertising any of these games? I didn't think so.

So, as this halo craze goes on, don't forget to pay attention to the other great, creative games. Give them a chance. I know the developers that put alot of time into them would thank you for it.

Oh, and no, I haven't played Halo 3, so don't ask.