So I went to my "local" mall today, and observed some sights. Feast on my opinions with your eyes.

Foot Locker employees are god damned annoying. As soon as you walk in, they swarm you with "Hey, wazzup, is there anything I can help you with? No? OK, if you need help finding something, gimme a holler!" Just die, homie. And why do these idiots wear headbands, indoors? Oh yeah, because they want to look "cool". And of course, some of the shoes I saw were ridiculous. G Unit shoes? Why the hell would I want to wear the same shoes as Tony Yayo?

There are a lot of desperate teens out there, guys who will date any fat, disgusting, belly shirt wearing cow they can find, just so they can drape their arm around her flabby, slightly hairy shoulder and parade her around the mall like some trophy. And ladies, if you have a gut, don't wear those damn shirts that end about 2 inches below your boobies.

I swear 95 percent of all GameStop customers only visit the store so they can talk games with the clerk. Don't these people have friends, or inflatable women, they can talk to? Doug in Sales doesn't care about what you think of Phantom Brave, he just wants to get through his shift without some moron saying he owns every Dreamcast import wrestling game ever made.

Is it mandatory for every customer at Barnes and Noble to wear khaki's? Honestly, I have been in about 10 different Barnes and Noble stores, and I never see some guy in cut off jean shorts and a "PBR Me ASAP" shirt, just browsing through the latest John Grisham's.

There are more black people in Minnesota than I had previously thought. And according to the mall, all of them wear throwback jerseys and pants that sag down past their ass.

Whenever someone walks through the door at Hot Topic, an automatic rifle should go off and shoot them in the head, ending their misery. Because if you shop at Hot Topic, you are probably one bad breakup away from swollowing a bullet.

The mall always reinforces one of my strongest beliefs: It's not a crime to look

And there you have it, some of my thoughts on my local mall.

I got Raze's Hell yesterday, and it's pretty good. It's no Brute Force, but it's still pretty entertaining, and for $30, it's a great value. I haven't played any of the minigames yet, and I did play one online game (I won in a 6 player deathmatch), and it was better han I expected. Of course, anything seems great when you're winning. Overall, it's shaping up to be the kind of game I expected.

If you illegally download only one record all year, make it "The Everglow" by Mae.

In case you haven't been paying attention, I REALLY want Forza. I can't recall the last time I was so antsy about a game, and a RACING game no less! If you notice in my collection, I only own a handful of racers.

Halo 2 nights with the folks from GGD is a little too laid back and slow paced for me. I would prefer less talking between games, and more action. Pee and smoke on your own time, when you're playing Halo 2, PLAY THE GAME.

That's all I got.

But I have to wait until next Wednesday at the earliest to get it. Getting paid every 2 weeks sucks ass. I am really tempted to trade in GTA:SA, Snake Eater, Doom 3 (Collectors Edition) and possibly all 3 Ratchet and Clank games towards Forza, but that would really put a dent in my game collection.

Off EBGames.com for $29.85, using my GSC discount. I should have it on Wednesday. I am REALLY looking forward to this game, it seems like it has everything I love in games. I'm not a violent person, but I love violent games for some reason. And the whole idea of brutally murdering cute, cuddly Kewletts really appeals to my baser, animal instincts.

Family Guy didn't disappoint, which is what I expected. I was confident it would come back with a full head of steam. The usual cut aways were great once again, my personal favorite being Ralph Cramden finally punching that whore Alice. The whole episode was jamp packed with literal "laugh out loud" moments, and it certainly lived up to my expectations.

As for America Dad, it was better than a lot of stuff that's on TV, but it didn't impress me as much as the pilot episode. I felt like the Bum Fights angle could have yielded even better bits, but it was still very entertaining.

I just jumped back into Halo 2 this week, and after being REALLY discouraged over it (see one of my previous entries), I've started to like it again. I had a blast playing it last night, and even had a 20 kill, 3 death round of Team Slayer on Zanzibar. I also got invited to a party with 3 hilarious black guys (I assume they were black), who were damn fun to play with, just because of their hilarious banter.

I'm gonna hit up every store in Austin tommorrow for a copy of Raze's Hell. Although I'm not confident any place will have it, hell, GameStop didn't even get any copies in.

Oooow, oh yeah! Kick it!

Uhhh, uhhh, uhhhhhhhh

Wiggy wiggy wiggy, wha wha wha!

Slap it, slip it, slip it, slap it

Shake it, shake it, shake it like it's a fussy toddler

Oh yeah, oh yeah, work it, work it

Yes, yes, no, no, yes yes, no no

Uh, yeah, uh yeah

Bounce, bounce, bounce like Sonny bounced off that tree in Taho

Break, break it low, break, break, break it slow

Uhh, uhhh, yeahhh, yeahhhh

Cut it, cut it up son'

Work, work it good, put it in

Now crash this pad, crash like Lady Di son'

Copeland-In Motion

Copeland is really hard to define, since they throw so many different styles and instruments at you, all in the same album. In Motion is now different, as they put together tracks that sound a lot like stuff from Queen, Coldplay, and your typical punk-pop band. But you won't be hearing any of these songs on the radio, because this isn't an album for everybody. The opening track, No One Really Wins, features a catchy hook, great drum progressions, and even some nice dance style back tracking thrown in. However, the standout tracks, "Sleep" and "Love is a Fast Song" sound nothing like the opener. "Sleep" features an excellent piano piece, accompanied with some pretty catchy, though not irritating, lyrics. The melodic guitar and drum kicks thrown in also add a lot to it's dreamy feel. If you couldn't tell by now, I suck at reviewing music, so just take my word for it and check this record out.

VonSammon
Ryan Saotome
GayCube
John Cena
That Gunnar kid from elementary school
Tony Hull
Brett Favre
Dan "The Common Man" Cole
Paris Hilton
Carmen Electra
Ty Pennington
Merril Hoge
Doug Moore
Lee Alessi
Netherscourge
Brutal_Impact
Gideon Yago
The mod who deleted my entry about whiping my pooper
Najeh Davenport
Morten Anderson
Gary Anderson
Chris Dishman
Brock Berlin
Michael Powell
Sarah Vowell
The Coors Light Twins
Andrew Rona
Mr. Eek
Jeff Schleiff
Gary Tashima
George W. Bush
John Kerry
Jimmy Kimmell
John Kruk
Danny Pintauro
Elton John
Bono
Sean Penn
Russell Crowe
Colin Ferrell
Warren Moon
Good Charlotte
Jonathan Coachman
Michael Cole
Spike Dudley
Ozzy Osborne
Travis Barker
Fred Durst
Eric Perkins
The 3 guys from Black Eyed Peas
Verne Troyer
Carson Daly
Stephan A Smith
Aaron Carter
Nick Carter
Justin Timberlake
Kevin McHale
Osama Bin Laden
Kim Jong Il
Tom Lica
Bill Cosby
Ashton Kutcher
Chad Michael Murray
Sway from MTV
Moby
Mike Martz
Lou Piniella
Randy Johnson
That guy from the Midwest Wireless commercials
Kobe Bryant
Mario Cantone
Ellen Degeneres
Roseanne
Andy Roddick
Glenn Humplik
Adam Brody
Adrian Brody
Ahman Green
P Diddy
Karamo the Homo from The Real World
Hector Carrasco
Pat Mahomes
Ryan Seacrest
Bob Wells
George Lucas
Don West
Larry Zybysko
John Laurentis

I got some stuff to say, so drop your pants, raise your middle finger, and listen up, slapnuts!

That 5 year old girl who got handcuffed got off light. If America was a REAL country, that girl would have gotten 5 across the eyes with a ruler a long time ago. If I was the principle, and that little brat bit me, I would lock that brat up in the janitor's closet, and give her nothing to drink but paint thinner and varnish.

I was thinking of doing a cheap knock off of Robert's comics, with my first release being about how much of a whore Paris Hilton is.

VonSammon from these forums is a crybaby.

Looking back on it, Pokemon Snap for the N64 was a damn fine game.

Isn't funny how I get banned for commenting on racial profiling, yet, a moderator can get away with providing people links to pirated television shows? Funny how the forums work that way.

Greg Kasavin kinda looks like Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane.



Alex Navarro kinda looks like my uncle, Peepin' Jimmy.

I flushed 6 bucks down the drain today on 2 maps for one of the most frustrating, anger inducing games of all time, Halo 2. The new update, which makes the SMG about as powerful as a mosquito bite and the grenade way too powerful, has all but ruined CTF games, especially on the new Warlock map (which sucks, by the way). If I wasn't so patient, I would have shattered my XBL headset into 46 pieces, and snapped my Halo 2 game disc in half.

I don't smoke

I don't drink

I don't dance....ever

I don't drive over the speed limit....ever

I don't watch Star Wars movies

I don't watch Matrix movies

I don't watch Lord of the Rings movies

I don't watch action movies

I don't go to parties

I don't watch what I eat

I don't wear sunglasses

I don't play fighting games

I don't play racing games

I don't play PC games

I don't eat steak

I don't talk on the phone

I certainly won't be seeing the newest garbage from George Lucas and his band of nerds. In fact, I might just stand outside my local theater on the day it comes out, and throw my own feces at anyone who tries to buy a ticket to this travesty of a motion picture.

No, my cat Mr. Mittens didn't get hit by a semi. What I mean is, I recently had to go back to my ancient, early 90's era keyboard, since SOMEONE spilled pop all over my fairly new, wireless keyboard. You really don't know how convienient a wireless keyboard is until you have to go back to your old, ivory colored piece of crap. That's it, that's all I gots ta say, homies.

Even though I can't sing worth a crap, I might put off buying games and DVD's for a month, and pick up an acoustic guitar. I figure, I can get one for arond $150, and purchase all the other crap you need. I'm not trying to become the next great folk singer, but I have always wanted to try learning a musical instrument. I'm sure everyone I know will give me a bunch of crap for wanting one, but that's fine, I'll just spit in their faces while they sleep.

If I was a little kid in Florida, I would get the hell out of there

Anchorman is funnier the second time you see it

Christina Applegate is still hot

No major retailers sell the Special Edition Orgazmo DVD. I guess they have something against an NC-17 movie about a Mormon porn star, and a guy who wears a rubber dick on his head

The NFL Draft is the second best multiple day sporting event in the world, second to the NCAA Tourney

If the Vikings take a running back in said draft with their 7th pick, I will personally show up to training camp this year, naked, with "Fire Mike Tice" shaved into my butthairs

I hope Randy Orton gets critically injured in a hot air balloon accident

One of my cats completely clawed up my newest porno mag

Doom 3 is the epitome of "All Flash, No Substance"

Why the hell did I buy DOA: UIltimate? I've played 4 fighting games in 14 years

Cookies are delicious, especially hot out of the oven

If I lived alone, I probably wouldn't wear any clothes while just relaxing around the house

Trading in old, or, in my case, fairly new games, for cash or store credit has always been a touchy subject within the gaming community. Most stalwarts will thump their chests with their standard "use eBay, clown!" lines, which I got sick of seeing back in 1999. Personally, I will never use eBay to sell my games, because it's not as quick or as trustworthy as EB or GameStop. If I want to get rid of a game, I want to do it NOW. I don't want to put up an eBay auction, which might take a day or two, then have to contact the buyer, which could take MORE time, then wait for him to send me my money, which could take god knows how long. If I go to EB or GameStop, I get my credit NOW.

Another reason some people frown upon trading in their games is because most places don't give fair trade in prices. Imagine that, companies wanting to make a profit by buying low and selling high! That's capitolism for you. Of course you're not going to get even $40 back for your $50 game, but if you know where to go, and get sick of your new, high priced game, or if you know you'll never play it again, what's wrong with getting $30 for it (most high profile, $50 games will net you $30 in credit, as long as they are only a month old). However, most people don't try to trade in their brand new games. No, they try to trade in some mediocre shooter or 4 year old racing game. Then they complain when EB only gives them $5 in credit. Well why wouldn't they? Walk into a EB, and you'll notice how many average, old, or mediocre pre-owned games they have, and none of them are exactly flying off the shelf. And most of those games only sell for about 10 to 15 dollars used. Why would EB want to turn a smaller profit on your unpopular games, when they will just take up shelf space and get ignored by most gamers? The best course of action when getting rid of your older games is to probably try to sell them to a family member, or at a garage sale (most garage sale patrons won't know your games are crap, and you might be able to make some nice money selling your games to granny, who is only looking for a birthday present for Lil Skip).

Usually, I don't trade in my games as soon as I beat them, or as soon as I think I will never want to play it again. If I know it won't get me much at EB or GameStop, I'll just keep the game as part of my collection. You never know, I might find someone who is willing to buy it, or come along someone who might want to trade me my game for one of his. Trading is a great alternative to selling in my opinion. Trading on the internet, in my opinion, is more effective than eBay. Example: In December of 2003, I bought a used copy of the extremely rare Suikoden 2 at EB, for $64.99. This fall, I found someone on the CheapAssGamer.com forums who was willing to trade me my Suikoden 2 for his copies of Jak 3 and Ratchet and Clank: Up your Arsenal. He was actually willing to send me World of Warcraft also, but his brother used the key card or something, so he couldn't, which I was fine with. So, in essence, I traded a game that I had already beaten, a game that was just collecting dust, for 2 games that I really wanted, and would get some playing time in my PS2 rotation. Not a bad deal at all.

I guess the whole trading debate depends mostly on your financial situation. If you don't mind knowing that you're basically losing money by trading in your $50 game for much less, then by all means, keeping trading. The way I look at it is, I may have paid $50 for the game, but if I am done playing it, and won't play it again, why not trade it in for credit towards another game? You would be able to get entertainment out of your $50 game, and entertainment out of the $20 game you bought using store credit. The only difference is that you don't own the $50 game anymore, but if you never played that game anymore, why would you want to keep it?

And there you have it, my thoughts on trading in games. See, I can talk about more than just food and stupid celebrities!

I'm sure some of you wizards who read this journal are nearing the end of your storied high school careers, and you can't wait to graduate, so you can leave your prospective towns, go off to college, and wish you were still back in high school. And with this time of year comes a whole crop of typical akward teenage moments. Who are you gonna ask to prom? Will he/she put out afterwards? Does this tux show off my bulge? What sappy song am I gonna play while I lay in bed and cry the night before graduation? These are all great questions, questions that every pimply faced, greezy haired, unoriginally dressed high schooler must ponder. Personally, I myself never had to answer all these questions, because wisely, I avoided about 75 percent of most the bullcrap that high schoolers have to go through. I never went to a prom, didn't give a rats ass about anything regarding graduation, and although I did go to your typical "let's get all the seniors together, with some beer, and play some crappy music while we all pretend we are hammered" party, I just ridiculed all the morons. So if you're in this situation, and you need a friend to talk to, and help you out with all your sissy problems, just contact me, and I can give you some of my patented Awesome Advice.

OK, don't kill Whitey. Whatever.

So I quit playing on God Mode, since the second to last battle is 99 percent impossible. I'm going to GameStop in a couple hours to trade in God of War and crappy, overrated Paper Mario for a cool $53 in store credit, and I'm also gonna pawn off some other game I never play, since you get a $10 trade in bonus if you trade in 3 games.

Michael Cole and Tazz need to get hit by trains.....

Game Informer is the best gaming magazine in North America right now, mainly because it's published in the best state in the world, Minnesota.

Why didn't I think of the name "Ron Mexico" first? F you Vick.

I'm in love, and her name is Enormous Omelet Sandwich.

I spent all day today (well, from 2 p.m. until now, 10:45 p.m.) trying to blow through God of War's God Mode, the absolute hardest difficulty there is in the game. I'm about 85 percent through right now, and I would keep going up until the end, but I have to be in to work at 7 tommorrow morning. I get home at about 10:30, so I expect to conquer God Mode by 2 p.m. at the absolute latest. Then, I'm gonna call up EB and see how much store credit I can get for the game, since I know I'll never play it again, especially after beating it.........twice. Anyways, my right index finger is killing me, after all that jamming on the Block button. It doesn't actually hurt, but in a game sense, this is the most worn out I think I've ever felt after a gamming session.

I got God of War on Sunday morning, and beat it tonight at around 7:30. I clocked in at almost exactly 9 hours. What an incredible game. 2005 has started out great for me when it comes to games. It kicked off nicely when I bought Growlanser Generations, which was a blast, and it continued through January as I blew through the amazingly kick ass Resident Evil 4. February kept the trend in tact, thanks to MVP Baseball 2005. I was also pretty pleased with Chaos Theory, and now, God of War in April.

God of War really exceeded all of my expectations. I thought it was going to be a pretty entertaining action game, that would keep my interest for a couple hours, but ultimately, would be yet another game that I neglect as it sits in my DVD rack. I was wrong. The frantic action, which is just a tad more sophisticated than just flat out button mashing, had me hooked from the start. Kratos is such an excellent character for this type of game; he's cold, he's tough, and all he wants to do is kill. The puzzles are also incredibly well done, they didn't completely baffle me, and they were all very believable and well conceived. The cinematics and graphics were also amazing, much better than I expected at first. The various plot twists and turns really fooled me, and they made sense in context with the story, it doesn't feel like they just threw them in to give the gamer a cheap, Russo Swerve. Rarely do I beat a game, and then play it again, I usually just shelve it or trade it in. That won't be happening with God of War. I just beat the Hydra again, this time on God Mode, which isn't really THAT hard yet, it seems like the Orb and save locations are the same, the only difference is that the enemies take more damage, and dish out more pain. All in all, I was shocked at how great God of War was, especially since I didn't even care about the game until a month or so ago.

Microsoft just took the lead in the next generation arms race, with the announcement that they will be unveling their new console live on MTV in May. This is great news for everybody, and it's an incredibly wise decision by Microsoft. The Xbox is arguably the hottest console in North America right now, and it's gaining momentum as far as appealing to the causal gamer is concerned. This MTV special will only help MS appeal to those casual gamers, and it also pleases us hardcore fans by giving us a sneak peak at their new console a week or so before Sony (possibly) and Nintendo show the world their next gen consoles. I just hope this show isn't loaded with phoned in, MTV style attitude and all that garbage.