The Real Nirvana Frontman

Who really was the frontman for Nirvana ? It has never been speculated before , but I (along with another user from OT) have come up with a theory that TOTALLY MAKES SENSE ! ... We have come to the conclusion that Kurt Cobain was NOT the geenyus behind Nirvana , behind all the great riffs , behind the lyrics ... he was used.Used , and he eventually realised he was being used and shot himself (But did he really?We'll get to that later on in the blog).You too , would kill yourself if you found out you were being used in such a blatant manner.He was portrayed as the main man of the band , the eccentric who wrote genious music.BUT IT WAS NOT HIM ! ...

Take a look , at the real Nirvana frontman:

Yes.Look at those eyes.Cookie Monster.He was the one responsible for the Grunge movment.The unsung hero of Nirvana.You see , Cookie Monster was in fact a blatant heroin addict.And he was ashamed.So he joined Sesame Street , as a side project to his songwriting for Nirvana.The producers thought that calling him the "Heroin Monster" would be too profane for little children.So they gave him a new alias.The Cookie Monster.They would dose him with so much heroin , that he would be oblivious to the cookies they shoved down his throat , or what they were getting him to say.

Cookie Monster , or as we shall now know him as "The Real Kurt Cobain" , formed Nirvana in 1987 , because he wanted to start a music revoultion that totally annihilated Hair Metal from the face of the world.Aided with his massive amounts of heroin , he wrote geenyus songs , that would forever be etched in the history of music.But one thought began to trouble him.How ridiculous would he look on stage with a guitar.A big blue shape , with heroin dosed eyes ... surely people could'nt take him seriously.Enter Kurt Cobain.A handsome blonde from Aberdeen , eager for work because he had nothing.He phailed at lief.Cookie Monster used this man as his image ... the image for the band , as a revolutionary figure , while in the backround Cookie Monster did all the Donkey work of writing the riffs , lyrics while shooting triple doses of heroin.He instructed Kurt Cobain on what he should act like , what he should say in interviews etc.While Cookie Monster earned the majority of the bands income , he gave quite a minor share to poor Kurt Cobain , the failure of life.He essentially became a puppet of Cookie Monster.

You look into Cookie Monsters eyes.They blamed Kurt Cobain for being a heroin addict himself.HE WAS NOT ! He was an innocent young man who met his end because of a selfish triple heroin addict.Cookie Monster made the supposed "Heroin addled" Kurt Cobain look like a teenager trying weed for the first time.

WHO LOOKS MORE LIKE A HEROIN ADDICT ?!?

THIS ?

OR

THIS ?

And there we have it ... Cookie Monster was the real Nirvana frontman.Kurt Cobain was a lonely man looking for work because he failed at life.A sad story.But , we also have reason to believe that Cookie Monster is in fact A HOMOCIDAL MURDERER !! :o

Yes.On top of being a heroin addict.How shameful of you Cookie Monster.Towards the end of Nirvana's life , Cookie Monster became quite suicidal because of his strained relationship with the rest of the Sesame Street cast.He was homophobic , and suspected Ernie and Bert (Pictured Below) :

He also suspected that Elmo was a homocidal maniac , and was slightly scared of him.But then again , so was everyone else , so thats excusable.But anyway , Cookie Monster became suicidal , and he used Kurt Cobain to voice how he himself wanted to die.He built , and built and built these suicidal ramblings until April 1994.Then the apparent "Suicide" of Kurt Cobain.It was in fact Cookie Monster who killed Kurt Cobain.He killed him to make it look as if Cobain really meant that he was going to commit suicide.And nobody knew , up until now.Cookie Monster had looked to end Nirvana because the pressure of making new song material , and bringing out new albums became too much.And so , Kurt Cobain never really killed himself.It was Cookie Monster.Since the end of Nirvana , Cookie Monster has gotten over his suicidal thoughts , and has carved out a succsessful carreer for himself out of Sesame Street.

The bastard.

The End.

~A case solved by Whight Knight~