A bomb just exploded... and it is giant. User name is the same as here.

Just like the new X-Files movies is about 10 years too late.

Anyway here's that RRW video. You know, the week after RRW. Cause that makes sense.

This just in: SNES NBA Jam >>>>>>> Genesis NBA Jam. More at 11 (or whenever I write my next blog.)

Yeah, I'm a day late. I got home at 11:30 after work yesterday and I just couldn't find myself to write a blog. Anyway, yesterday I played a crapload of NES games and a whole lot of Shaq-Fu. The summary follows:

• Punch-Out: I got to the dude with the turban before it glitched and froze up on me. I'm still trying to finish it before the end of the week, so I'll try again today.
• Super Mario Bros. 3: Got to the end of the 3rd level before I realized "Oh, wait, I've beaten this game before." Still a great game, though.
• R.C. Pro Am: Not nearly as good as Rock N' Roll Racing, but pretty decent. Makes me a little sick with all the turns though.
• Blades of Steel: A pretty good hockey game, but it seems way to easy to score.
• Double Dribble: A pretty good basketball game, but the passing controls always screw me up.

After all of that I popped in Shaq-Fu with the intention of finally beating it. My favorite part of this game is the ridiculous story cutscenes. The setup is this: Shaq is walking in Downtown Tokyo, the site of the NBA All-Star Game for some ridiculous reason, when he stumbles upon a Chinese dry cleaners or something. He goes in, obviously needing to wash his precious jerseys before the game, and meets a creepy old guy. This old guy gives him a story about some little kid named Nezu who's gone missing and now Shaq has to go find him. I must interrupt here and say who in their right mind names their kid Nezu? Shaq then walks into a fricking mirror and enters another dimension.

The game consists of only 6 enemies, and the gameplay is basically Street Fighter II dumbed down to a 3rd grade level. Also for some reason every once in a while, Shaqs hand catches fire when punching. I would tell you how the game ends, but the final boss is absolutely impossible. He's a pharoah mummy named Sett-Ra, and his jump attack can kill you in three hits. He does however have the best Game Over line in the whole game: "My wrap is better than your rap!" That line makes me want to die. Also the game has a move called the Shaq-uriken. So yeah, it's basically awesome.

First of all, sorry to horribly dissapoint all of you who were eagerly looking forward to our epic retro video, but apparently Gamespot hates me, so it's not happening. A quick rundown of what was on the video (use your imagination to see it in your mind):

• We played Night Driver, Haunted House, and E.T. for the Atari 2600. What we learned: Night Driver makes my eyes bleed, Haunted House was programmed by a 3-year old on crack, and E.T. features a secret cabal of child molesters intent on touching strange alien creatures.
• A dramatic reading of the opening cutscene for Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout. Oh, and rabbit strippers.
• Quite possibly the greatest N64 game ever made, Waialae Country Club. There may only be one course, but at least it has horrible FMV character models.

So obviously you missed out on cinematic greatness. For Day 2, I played a little Punch-Out, making it to Bald Bull before he absolutely ripped me to shreds with that charge move. Anyone know how to counter that? I also booted up Starcraft for the first time in like a year, and god, did I forget how awesome that game is. Tomorrow, I'll probably throw in some Shaq-Fu and get my Shaq-Fu on. Yeah, I just used Shaq-Fu 3 times in one blog. Is there an achievement for that? If so, is it worth negative Fake-Gamerpoints?

With all my extra time during the summer, I'm trying to complete the dreaded backlog, games I started and just never finished. Unfortunately, I looked through my games today, and that's going to take me a while. As much for me as for you, here's my massive backlog list (divided by platform because I feel like it.) Some of the 360 games I finished, but due to a complication during my Live activation, all my Achievements were lost, so I'm goin back and doin it again.

360

Call of Duty 4 (achievements lost, including a complete Veteran run-through:cry

Grand Theft Auto 4 (achievements lost, and I really don't know if I want to go back to it.)

Rock Band (gotta finish all the Solo tours. Expert Drums, here I come!)

Mass Effect (It's been sitting neglected for far too long.)

Bioshock (Never quite got to the end.)

Assassin's Creed

Oblivion (I know I won't finish it, but I'll play a couple hours.)

Halo 3 (Gotta replay the campaign for lost achievements, so if anyone wants to do co-op, let me know.)

Marvel Ultimate Alliance (Once again, if you wanna co-op, let me know.)

Forza 2

Xbox

Halo 2 (Never finished the campaign.)

KOTOR

Jade Empire

Ninja Gaiden (If I don't smash the controller in frustration...)

Psychonauts (Beat it on the PS2, but I just bought the Xbox version.)

Panzer Dragoon Orta

Wii

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles

Super Mario Galaxy (I'm at the end, but I'm a freak for Star completion.)

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Super Paper Mario

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz (Maybe.)

PS2

GTA III

GTA: Vice City

GTA: San Andreas

Final Fantasy XII (So... much... grinding...)

Disgaea

Disgaea 2 (I just realized I never started this one.)

Devil May Cry 3

Half-Life (Because my PC sucks that bad.)

Shadow of the Colossus (I beat it once, but I love it so much, I'm doing it again.)

All 3 PS2 Hitman games

X-Men Legends II

Radiata Stories

Dragon Quest VIII

Front Mission 4

Final Fantasy X-2 (On second thought, no.)

Star Ocean: Til the End of Time

Gamecube

Viewtiful Joe

Metroid Prime 2 (There is so much backtracking in this game.)

DS

Advance Wars: Dual Strike

Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (I'm on the last case.)

Puzzle Quest

Final Fantasy III

Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (If my DS would recognize the shape of an hourglass, I'd be done.)

PSP

GTA: Liberty City Stories

GTA: Vice City Stories

Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror

Final Fantasy Tactics: TWotL

FFVII: Crisis Core (I got so badly sidetracked here, it's not even funny.)

Patapon

Metal Gear Acid

GBA

Final Fantasy VI Advance

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Fire Emblem

Advance Wars

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

Golden Sun

PSOne

Final Fantasy VIII

Final Fantasy IX (Haven't touched this one in like 4 years.)

Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain

Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver

NES

Bionic Commando

Metroid

Punch-Out

Golgo 13

SNES

Earthbound (Yes, I never actually finished it. So sue me.)

Super Metroid

Shaq-Fu

Genesis

Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic 2

Sonic 3

N64

Donkey Kong 64

Banjo-Kazooie

Perfect Dark

Jet Force Gemini

So that's gonna be a problem.

Anyway, Retro Revival Week is coming up,and here's a short list of games I'll be talkin about/playing, depending on if I feel like taping a video or not: Bionic Commando, Golgo 13, Earthbound, Baseball Simulator 1000, Shaq-Fu, and Goldeneye. Also, on Sunday, look for a special dual RRW video from me and zelda450, most likely including NBA Jam, NHL 94, and maybe even a little treat involving Steven Spielberg's favorite little alien.

So long for now, Gamespotters!

I was wandering through the local FYE today and stumbled upon this little gem:

There's a Donkey Kong one too, but they were $3 each, so I just got the Mario one. It's actually pretty horrible. Imagine what you'd get if you mixed bubblegum flavor medicine and Windex and you have a pretty good idea of the taste. I bought it for the can though, so whatever.

Ok, good news and bad news.

Good news: AT&T finally decided to activate my DSL after god knows how long, so my PS3 and Wii are now online. My PSN ID and Wii Number are on that sidebar thingy, so add me if you want to play.

Now the bad news: my 360 apparently sucks. I hooked everything up correctly, went to join xbox live, and was promptly told my ethernet cable was not connected. Which it was. Anybody with any ideas on how to fix the problem? I'm going to buy a new cable tommorrow, and if that doesn't work, I'll have to shell out $100 for a wireless adapter, which would suck. Any help is appreciated, and I'll see you online!

It is here. It is good.

I would have had this up earlier, but A) Gamespot's photo uploader is apparently broken beyond repair, and B) I played MGS4 for two days straight. Without a break. Needless to say, I'm going to sleep.

Where the hell did this come from?

That is all.

Since seniors only have 5 actual days of class left, I started thinking about what I'm going to spend my time doing this summer. Besides endless movie and gaming marathons (thanks to my new Netflix and Gamefly accounts), I've decided to spend more time actually making my own games. I downloaded an easy to use game-making program called, strangely enough, Game Maker, and I'm gonna put it to use. A while back, zelda450 sent me a PM featuring one of the best websites I've ever seen: The Random Video Game Name Generator. So I was thinking: why not make terrible games out of these absolutely insane titles. A sampling of the insanity follows. All titles must be read with an intensely serious tone.

Depressing Grizzly Bear in Busytown (Follow DGBon a quest to find true happiness through intense therapy and sunshine!)

Generic Midget for Kids (Self-explanatory.)

Biblical Quiz Pimps (Yeah, I have no idea what this would be.)

National Lampoon's Frisbee Jamboree (Can Clark Griswold become Frisbee champion?)

The Last Amish Heroes (In a post-apocalyptic future without technology, who else could save the day?)

Flamboyant Android of the Deep (An aquatic robot of unknown sexual orientation battles stingrays.)

Prehistoric Raccoon Dystopia (Turok with raccoons. What more could you ask for?)

Heroic Disco Derby

Unpleasant Squirrel Onslaught A never-ending game you can never win, only get a high score. Since as we all know, squirrels always win.)

Kermit's Math Dance Party

Emo Dungeon Revolution (Guide My Chemical Romance through the darkness in their own incredibly stupid minds.)

Jedi Spelling Paintbrawl (Typing of the Dead meets Masters of Teras Kasi meets Greg Hastings Paintball?)

Master Chief's Scooter Fiasco (The scooters will of course have machine guns.)

Professional Booty Party

Inbred Ghost City

8-bit Duck Armageddon (Play as the Duck Hunt Dog in a future where the ducks remember what he did, and want revenge.)

Mickey's Prison Warrior (Oz meets the Mousketeers.)

Kinky Walrus Dudes (I don't even want to think about this one.)

Dance Dance Grizzly Bear Attack (Like DDR, only if you lose, you get horribly disfigured.)

I believe you can see the pattern emerging here. Work will also continue on my original game idea, still untitled, a 2D Smash Bros. clone featuring over 400 characters. Ever wonder who would win in a fight between Marcus Fenix and Adlai Stevenson? My money's on Adlai.

Anyway, anyone with programming or artistic experience, please PM me if you're interested in working on any of these absolute gems.

As zelda450 already let everyone know, we went to a big flea-market thing last weekend, and I managed to spend my entire paycheck and then some in about 2 hours. Here's what I bought. Cry with me.

Cost me $20, then I picked up the rest of these.

for $28 combined.

Then I made the greatest purchase I have ever made in my entire life, a true literary masterpiece.

That's right, a Mario Make-Your-Own-Adventure book. Several points must be made here. First of all, I only paid 50 cents for it. Let's get that out of the way now. And although you can't make it out because of my crappy picture quality, why does Bowser's ship have two giant eggbeaters on the front? Is he going to make scrambled eggs for Mario? I'll leave you with a sample of the immaculate writing quality of this gem, as written by the esteemed Mr. Bill McCay:

"We'll vote on what to do next," says Mario. "But clowns don't vote!"

"I can't vote, then." the king says sadly.

Poor King Mushroom...

Well spring break has definitely been good to me. Here's the massive haul I pulled in this week:

all for a total of $5, since Hollywood Video was closing. Jade Empire was brand new, with the shrinkwrap and seal still intact.

and both for my birthday.

both free from Sony's RLS program.

Then today, I got my IRS refund check, and I decided to blow it on:

plus these:

Patapon was free with a couple trade-ins.

So yeah, my backlog just died.

zelda450 had the sudden urge to play a game of tag, so here it is, 5 things you may not have known about me:

1. I go to an all-male high school. (Let the misguided gay jokes begin...)

2. Despite being marginally overweight, I could actually school you in hockey.

3. I know how to play hte recorder, and am learning to play the guitar (What can I say, Guitar Hero inspired me.)

4. I once played Shaq Fu, and surprisingly did not go blind and/or crippled in any way.

5. I very rarely wear pants.

Okay, okay, I'll keep the chain going...

Mario-Luige

agustbestur

BigC43

jesus_knight

Draqq_Zyxorian