Learn(ing) to Deal
I haven't been here much over the last couple of days. There are several reasons.
1. There are several school assignments I need to finish before classes start. I have spent most of my week reading art articles and answering questions about whether a guy who puts a Christ statue in 3 gallons of urine is making real Art. And yuck.
2. I have been staying away from Messenger and all kinds of forums because I can't really deal with people at the moment. 3 people close to me are messing with my head, whether intentionally or not, and I need a little time to figure it out.
My cousin delights in making me feel inferior to her at any moment, and the fact that a lot of people hold her in high esteem even though she's a hypocrite back-stabbing bitca doesn't help much. She cuts me down, has repeatedly said that I don't matter/am not important (etcetera), and constantly pushes me aside to make room for her huge ego. (Was that rude? Oh well.)
Another friend of mine, if I can call her that, has called on me with every problem that she has, and afterwards complained that she did not have any friends. I spent so much time with her, and yet she insists on drowning herself in self-pity, almost telling me like I don't mean anything (see a pattern?). I can't deal with that, so I avoid it. (Guess I deal with it in that way).
And then there's person 3. He was my best friend once. You ever met a person who understood you completely? He was that guy. Was, until last year when everything went completely wrong. It was his fault, I think. He blames everything on outside factors. He's wrong. Some of those factors apply to me, and I don't do those things. Even now I'm protecting him. I've given him plenty of chances, only to start over and over again. I'm tired of it. Only he's still the guy who was my best friend once, and I can't stay away forever.
3. Some family issues. My dad has been diagnosed with Primary Progressive MS a few months ago. It's not the really fast, destructive form, but the impact is still huge. He had to get his second MRI to find out how fast the disease is, and I'm just scared it's worse than the doctors thought it was. After all, if House is wrong several times, who knows what real doctors find? (Yeah, that was my misplaced attempt at a joke). We have to make adjustments in stupid little things, because his hands don't work the way they used to. He drops things sometimes, and he just gets so angry and frustrated, and it's hard to watch that.
Combine all three, and you get absent Inge!
I think I'm done whining now.
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I feel for your father that must be huge for the whole family indeed. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes lately and it is hard enough (eyesight, circulation of the feet etc) but MS, that's just horrible. I wish you wouldn't have to deal with that.
Poor you. And those people around you sound hard to take as well. One thing I am sure of: Don't invest too much in relationships when you have the repeated feeling that it'll only cause you pain and has no upsides. It's nice you want to take care of them, I can be like that as well. But you have to think of yourself as well, sometimes. Sounds pretty easy to say, doesn't it? Hard to live by that, though, I know.
So be selfish sometimes and don't let them get you down. I wish you the best.
I think that trying to get people around you to understand that you need to focus on yourself and your family is necessary, but not perhaps easy.
My thoughts go with you and your family.
Your "friends" don't sound like they're helping at all - but like Ela said, you have to think of yourself, they don't sound like they're worth your time when they behave in that way... especially when you have other more important things to be dealing with. but that's easier said than done.
Also, so sorry to hear about your Dad - you're coping much better than I could with all that on your plate, I hope things pick up for you soon. Take care.
And boo to your cousin. I can't stand people like that. Always putting others down to make themselves feel better. Just remember, it's her, not you that has the problem.
I hear what you're saying about your male friend. That's a tough situation. I hope it sorts itself out because at least then you'd have him to lean on.
I hope things get better Inge. Stay strong and take care.
*hugs*
Even ONE of those issues would be enough to deal with, but between friends who really aren't true friends (trust me, if you've read my blog posts I went through the SAME thing!), family who should support you but instead hurt you just to make herself feel better, and lost friendships that change for whatever reason, you have your hands full! No wonder you've had it up to your eyeballs in people's rude behavior!!!
And I was so sorry to read about your dad. While I suspect the progress will be slow, your dad's emotional and physical response to certain limitations will be immediate. It's so frustrating when you can no longer do the simple things you used to take for granted.
Please know that you do have the support and encouragement of a long-distance friend, and I wish only the best for you!!! **hugs**
Why can't people just be nice? What's the point in going around bashing people, especially those who are supposed to be their friends. Sucks. Hope things work out soon. That they see they're just screwing things up.
So sorry to hear about your dad! Getting sick sucks. Just walking around knowing it, and also realising that your body more or less shuts down/doesn't function the way it used to, and there's nothing you can do about it, that's awful. Both for the person it happens to, and also for the family and people around. Hopefully you all learn to adjust and deal with it as best you can.
*big hugs*
On the friend and cousin issue I have been there done that and worn the tshirt. Unfrotunately those things happen in life and what i did was ignored the friend in particular. In the end she stopped coming to me with problems and we just went on as if nothing happened. I dont know if that is any help to you but thats from my experience. *hugs*