Have a good week
Hi, I will be only home on the weekends because I have weekly business trips out of the area. I will check my que at that time and try very hard to start doing weekly blogs to get back in touch with all of you. As was my old tradition, I will try hard to find fun things to share with you all and here it goes:
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn in t o some thing acceptable to have dinner with.
Have a wonderful week,
Ann
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Scott-
Very funny, thanks for the laugh, I needed that!
LOVE the Dave Barry stuff. I use a lot of his genius for my signatures on my mail. He is hilarious. I love #10, #11, #15, and #16! Here are some from my sigfile:
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
" 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'."
"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
"Magnetism, as you recall from physics c1ass is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
What a funny guy!