So I think I'm in a run of bad luck. Uni is slowly improving - broadband is still coming, photocopier has died, printer ran out of ink, was rushed to hospital last Monday suffering from an acute asthmatic attack (never had asthma before) and spent over 7 hours in hospital (not to mention I have nasty bruises from all the needles!), annoyed that Dexter is now after Rove which is getting on my nerves, - actually I think that is it - at the moment!

Everything will work out - it always does! *smile*

Thanks for cheering me up.

Best wishes, History

So I met this guy online - chatted on the phone - he seemed great. He said he would come down for the long weekend - be here late this afternoon. I told all my friends - then he doesn't send me the email he said he would. Hear from him the next day - was busy at work, can't make it down for the weekend "something came up". Now I got pissed last night (first time ever and I don't have a hangover!) because as far as I am concerned (and my friend Carly) he should have at least given me a proper reason - "something came up" is a weak excuse you use to get out of something.

So, should I kick this guy to the curb - or give him a third chance? (I say third because there was a 3 week period where he didn't ring or email etc.)

Not to mention that at the moment I hate Uni, hate him, hate my life.

Heartbroken and depressed, History

So most of you may have noticed I'm not on here as much as I used to be - life seems to be taking over at the moment and with Uni starting for me in 2 weeks time I am trying to cut out things that take time I will need.

If anyone is interested in taking over a guide - now is the time to submit so I can put you on as a trusted user.

Who knows what the year will bring?

Best wishes, History

I caught up with some old friends on the Facebook website. I thought it would be great to get in contact with people I haven't seen in up to 11 years - but I kind of feel that it isn't the best idea now. I was always the girl in school who was responsible, reliable, sensible - I never stepped out of line (unless you call being warned in class for talking on one occasion stepping out of line). I grew up to be just as sensible as I was in school - that's who I am and while I admit that sometimes I wish I could be more outgoing and not so shy - I'm happy with who I am as a person.

I got in contact with a girl I had been friends with in school and we were very different in school - she dared do everything I didn't - but we got along. I thought though that she'd grown up, more of an adult you could say - she had a steady job and was studying - but a long telephone conversation where she had more than a few to drink saw me hear a side of her I didn't like. I've been trying really hard in the last 18 months to not be so judgemental of people and to let the past go - especially high school - and I'm pleased to say that it's working well for me, made me a better person in a small way. To hear her go after people though in a vicious way about things that happened years ago - it annoyed me, aggravated me even. Not to mention it was a one-sided conversation - 90% about her and I would have been lucky to even get 10% about myself. I've always wanted a friend that engaged in conversation - not just took me as a listener. Maybe that's part of my problem - I'm a very good listener - I've had a lifetime to practice it, but I like to have the chance to talk about myself and my life too. People keep telling me that I need to be more selfish - yet everytime I do something selfish - those same 'friends' are the first ones to go off at me. I think I've become cynical overtime. I longer consider that I have friends - just varying degrees of acquaintances. No one seems to be bothered, or care even, about me - they all just want to talk about themselves and I'm tired of that. It's a scary feeling when after years of rebuilding your life and dealing with everything you realise that you haven't gained anything. I'm 26 years of age, I have no friends and haven't been on a date in far too long. To be unloved, unwanted and friendless at 26 is hardly where I want to be. Sure I'm happy with the type of person I am, but it would be great to go out for coffee with a friend, or go on a date with a guy who didn't think that it had to end in bed...

I watched 27 Dresses yesterday and I sympathised with Jane's character, but at least she had friends and got the ending she wanted...I don't think I can keep on believing in happy endings. Life is life and while we all navigate it the best we can - we don't always end up where we want.

Anyway that's how I feel at 12.15 in the morning when I should be in bed - early morning start with work. I hope things in your life are better than mine. :-)

Much love, History

At the moment I'm busy getting ready to start work again on Tuesday after the long weekend. Haven't done half the things I had wanted to over the holidays, but at least I knocked a couple of things off my list.

Spending today with family - a friend was meant to be heading here from Adelaide but I haven't heard from her yet.

I'm good, my cats are good - oh, and my neighbours mysteriously disappeared at the beginning of Jan - which I'm glad - I'm 5 months they mowed the lawns once!!!! Got new neighbours - see how they go????

Been watching a lot of Midsomer Murder episodes of late but today I'm picking up Booker, so I'll be watching that tonight.

Much love, History