You've effed me once, but you will not eff me again!

The summer gives birth to the passion and fire

The flames growing Rich in all the colors of the rainbow

Whispers in ears of all the naughtiest desire

Yet the flames start to dim, they no longer glow

Searching again for that famed private dick

The rain is killing the heat

The sight of you makes the sky sick

C'mon children have a seat

The sky grows darker each day

Bringing out the colder weather

Alas! You tell me you have something to say

But scars, unlike tears, are forever

Just as the birds, I must be free

You will no longer eff me when your lonely!

You flew in from oblivion, showing all your damage under the guise of red paint.

Initially I despised you and your frazzled wings- I just didn't understand your appeal.

Eventually your illustrious bird song entranced me, similar to that of a siren.

At the time you were gaming another cock therefore I should've known you were broken.

Ignoring the warning signs in the clouds, I pursued you through migration.

In time you let me in, teaching me how to be Drop Dead Gorgeous and introducing me to your friend Norma Jean.

As we spent more time together, you realized my admiration; my feelings became your misuse.

The sky had become too small an environment to hold our raw passion.

In an effort to explore new horizons, we crashed.

After that crash, you never looked at me the same.

After that crash, you still sang your bird song- it just wasn't as sweet.

After that crash, I saw all of the dings and scratches you hid from me.

After that crash, your diamond promises melted into ice.

Although I will (eventually) still pursue birds, I will never again pursue the illusive Red Sunbird.

After that crash, you never looked at me the same.

After that crash, you still sang your bird song- it just wasn't as sweet.

After that crash, I saw all of the dings and scratches you hid from me.

After that crash, your diamond promises melted into ice.

Although I will (eventually) still pursue birds, I will never again pursue the illusive Red Sunbird.

College is vastly approaching, but with all the freedom, excitement, and anticipation of college there is a hefty price tag. Scholarships offer a way to receive "free" money to pay for college. With thousands of applicants nationwide all vying for the same scholarship, that will only be given to two or three applicants, it seems that winning a scholarship can seem as realistic as winning a million dollar sweepstake contest advertised on television.

By definition, scholarship means: a sum of money or other aid granted to a student, because of merit, need, etc., to pursue his or her studies. Because there are so many applicants all going for the scholarship, it is not living up to its definition. Scholarships are no longer given out because they are needed; instead they have become a pointless contest and waste of time.

It is unrealistic to assume that as students we have nothing better to do than to pursue scholarships that we will not most likely receive. I would much rather spend my time doing homework or preparing for a class that I actually have, than pursue a virtually impossible scholarship. Yes, winning scholarships are great because you do get "free" money based on the achievements that have made, or your financial need. But statistically what are the chances of winning? If there are 15,000 applicants all going for a scholarship that is only picking three winners you have a 3 out of 15,000 chance, which is a .0002 chance of winning.

There is an alternative to nation-wide scholarships, local ones. Yet, just because the scholarship is given away by a local company or school doesn't mean that the competition will be any slimmer. There is a greater chance that you will attain the scholarship because local businesses like to give their money to local students, but still you are entering a free for all contest.

Attaining scholarships is just like "winning" a stuffed animal from a claw machine, you will put in a lot more: time, effort, and money into it then you will likely get in return.

Does anyone have an idea for me? Because i'm lost.

We are the crowd
We're cuh-coming out
Got my flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastic, oh

Leather and jeans
your watch glamorous
Not sure what it means
But this photo of us
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
'Cause you know that baby I-

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your-
Papa-Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi

I'll be your girl backstage at your show
Velvet ropes and guitars
Yeah cause you know I'm starting between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes

Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and return
My lashes are dry- But the teardrops I cry
It don't have a price
Loving you is Cherry Pie
'Cause you know that baby I-
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi

Real good, We're dancing in the studio
Stop-stopped, That **** on the radio
Don't stop, for anyone
We'll Blast it but we'll still have fun

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi


Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi

My new obsession.

Keep Me Warm.

Protect me, promise me

save Me from the harboring storm, keep me warm.

Always and forever...

Keep Me Warm.

Don't be afraid to let me in, keep me warm.

Tell me you love me (keep me warm).

I've dreamt about this night forever, keep me warm.

I'm letting you in, keep me warm.

You've seen my naked truth, keep me warm.

I've bore it all, all you can do is ...

KEEP ME WARM.

So I am going to make this an open blog. What is one thing in your life that you wish that you could blame on someone or something else:

p.s. Creativity is greatly appreciated.

So here is the situation, and I know that I promised to be more positive and I am but something has happened. Something so tragic...something that I thought would never happen ever but it has happened, something that is so dramatic that the only other place that I could imagine it happening is in a movie of the week.

So my dear friend, if you live in Colorado you have probably heard her on the radio or seen her on television, she was recently suspended for having fake rifles in her car. But, before you judge you must hear the context she is a junior drill instructor in the Young Marines and she is preparing to have a big performance, so she had a reason to have them. She has been suspended for ten days and after her ten day suspension she will have to go to a hearing and present her case before a board.

I am just a little upset, confused, dumbfounded, insert any angry or confused emotion here, right now and don't know how exactly this could happen. I just feel like I am completely useless right now because I really want to help her, but don't know how. People who are complete strangers and don't even know who she is are signing petitions and making protest t-shirts, but I feel helpless. I really don't know what to do. I just really am praying, wishing, and hoping that everything will work out.

p.s. If you live in Colorado keep your eyes and ears open so that you will hear about this, if you haven't already. Link posted here:

So a new week is starting, and I am surprisingly optimistic. It's the first week of February and I am ready for it lol! Tomorrow is another day of school and I will be ready for it! I'm on this positive thinking kick and I'm going to stick with it!

Hopefully everyone will have a nice and productive week

As alwayz peace and love

Luc7ky

Let's start off by getting it straight... I am by no means a depressed person. I just feel that my blog, emphasis on MY, is the perfect place for me to express how I am feeling, good or bad. If you feel that I am way too sad or too depressed then don't read my blog! These are my personal thoughts that I choose to post online, in MY BLOG!

Now that we got that straight , I don't feel that it is fair for someone to come in and tell me that I should "cheer up" or "get over it" forget you. You have no idea what I have been through in my life , or what was going through my mind at the time that I was blooging so really, truly, madly, deeply i don't wanna hear it. If I'm too depressed then don't read my blog!

Thanks and I promise that all of my other blogs will be bright and shiny!

Luc7ky

p.s. I am who I am, I make no apologies

So here I am at a crossroads looking for redemption, please help me. I feel like I am bleeding out inside and I just need someone to come and save me from myself. I just don't know where I am going anymore and I could use some guidance and a sense of direction...

Does anyone still believe in the magic, the magic that we all believed in when we were younger?

I think that I have lost who I truly am somewhere along this journey called life and I am desperately seeking me....

Sorry, I think that I am not making any sense, but this is how I feel .

Tears may dry on their own,yet scars are forever.

Luc7ky

So on this joyous day, GO BARACK!!, I've been extremely upset the semester has ended with disastrous results! I felt that this was coming, but I merely dismissed it as being paranoid and scared but it happened. I ended this semester with my worst GPA to date, and alas trying to work over my teachers at the last minute proved no avail. Most of all I am extremely disappointed in myself I let other things get in the way and I feel terrible, but hey shyt happens!

Tomorrow is the start of the new semester, and I plan to make it my best ever truly I will(gotta go out with a bang!) lol. My Chemistry teacher feels that it's necessary that we talk about the valid points I made when trying to win her over, but the truth is I have nothing to say. I hope she doesn't say anything tomorrow, because I think I will seriously have to cuss her out if she even makes an attempt to say anything. My current mood towards the whole situation is eff it, talking about the past isn't going to change it. It's whatever. I'm in total eff the world mode right now , to quote the infamous my dearest line, "Don't f**k with me fellas, this ain't my first time at the rodeo."

I am making a late New Year's resolution to stop obsessing over the things that I can not control... because stress is really not fun.

Currently Listening:

Little Miss Obsessive - Ashlee Simpson (hence the blog title)

As always peace and love

Luc7ky

Has anyone ever released how hard it is to learn to breathe again? I mean we just go through our daily lives(doing the same boring daily things) and we never ever stop to make sure that we breathe, that we take it all in. When was the last time that you stopped to make sure that you were breathing? So much has been happening to me lately and I am in real need of oxygen I just feel like ,to quote the infamous line from the musical Buffy episode that, "I'm just going through the motions", and that nothing is seeming to get through and make me feel anything...and trust me I have a lot to that I should be feeling [insert any emotion here] about.

To begin the house life is not getting any easier, la madre is taking so much pleasure in making the little time that I have left in this hell house an actual hell. Sometimes I feel that there is actually truly wrong with her, is it normal to be full out b*tching someone out and then two minutes later to act as if it never happened and that everything is oh so peachy? It just seeems like everything that I do lately has become grounds for a verbal showdown, and I'm so tired of fighting. We fight about everything, but the main event for some time now has been the argument over my "jungle" (her word) room, and this isn't the typical you need to clean your room this is an apocolyptic showdown because of my blatent refusal to submit to her anal bordering on extreme OCD like standards for my room. Yes, it may seem like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill , yet you do not know my mother. My mother is an uber b***h that would make Joan Crawford (Mommy Dearest) herself tremble,she has done some terrible s**t to me s**t that I will remember for the rest of my life... I just wish that she would seriously chill out I know that it's hard for her me growing up...blah,blah,blah...but seriously get over it already. What she doesn't really realize is that she's pushing me towards the door and I don't plan on ever comiong back, siyanara suckers!

Anyways..happier news I will officially be attending University of Colorado at Boulder in the fall, I's gone be a journalist! I'm so excited!!!!!!!! Though, I still have a semester and a day of high school left to endure Yeah, this semester (Pre-Calculus and Honors Chemistry) has been truly kicking my arse, I also seem to be afflicted with a mild case of a strange disease called Senioritis, maybe you've heard of it? So if all goes well I will make it anywhere but here, and I really hope that it goes really well because I really deserve to see what the outside world looks like, pray for me!

Thanks for listening to my rant, I feel so much better now. As always peace and much love

Luc7ky

Do you love me?

How do I feel this good sober? Will you promise that you'll love once it's over? Because I've been hurt too many times. You promised me that you were different, that this was gonna be different. Do you really love me? Or do you love all of the things that I do to and for you? I'm so tired of being used, you said that it was different. It all comes down to one thing, and that thing is all that it's about. Sadness comes and goes...

It has been raining non-stop for the past three days and with the rain has come my slow, yet inevitable downfall. It's too much to write about now, but I'm just waiting for the rain to pass and take my bad luck with it.

Why hasn't anyone been responding to my blog posts?!

Lately... idk. Lately, it has been so crazed and dramatic, I'm usually all for the drama ( It's more fun!) but not this kind. There are these two girls, who I will just call E & H for now, but they have become my soul-mates, my bffs, my ride or die buds, my we do everything with each-other buds, that was until it happened... E has recently been going through her share of drama: losing her ex whose son she has adopted and getting kicked out of her house, so in her time of distress she did something so vile... so horrible, she hooked up with an Ogre (he's not an actual ogre, but he comes close lol) ! Ever since the hook-up she hasn't been the same she has completely become a stranger to me, she has been deserting me and H and spending all of her time hanging with Shrek! I have just recently become an associate of E & H's, but H and E go way back... E knows almost everything about H shes been there for H through all of the dramz but now she has completely turned her back on H, WTF? And to make matters worse we all work together: E, H,me, and unfortunately Shrek. I don't know what to do any more, it's just so awkward and complicated at work E acts like she doesn't see me and H, she doesn't even have the decency to answer a frikkin text or call... so i dunno, i just don't know what to do any more. It would all be so simple if E just came out and admitted that she liked the guy, but she doesn't and i don't think that she ever will, she told me and H that she F-ing hates the guy, it was disgusting and definitely a one time thing, yet she still avoids me and H for him? I can be strong w/o E, I don't need her to be in my life if she doesn't want to, but H... H needs E. E was one of the few people that was there for H, E knows everything about H. Yesterday was the worst H had a meltdown b/c w/o E she has no one... E was her everything! So E I don't have anything to say to you, if you see me in the future you can still shoot me a dirty look or act like I don't mean anything to you- that's cool, whatevs. But, what about H? What about the promise that you made to her that you were gonna be there forever? E I hope your reading this right now, if you want a war that's what you've got, I'm effing better at this game than you anyways so bring it on! Just remember the promise that you made to H...

How Lucky we Are by Meiko

One day we'll get outta this **** apartment
One day is all it takes for things to turn around now
All I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

One day we'll get in the car and drive anywhere we wanna go
And then we'll stay in a five star, mini-bar, luxury hotel room
Cuz all I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, are, are...

One day we'll turn on the tv and we won't see nothing 'bout war
And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are

I have a problem letting people in, letting people know all about me. I think that I am a little bit damaged (make that a lot damaged), and it's very hard for me to trust people. I have never even told my best friend since Kindergarten all about me, but lately I've been trying to become more personable and tell people more about myself. I've made a resolution to post a new blog each week with some detail of my life, I'm just so afraid of bieng hurt. Well, here's the first in a series of self-expository blogs!

My new Favorite Song:

Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and some other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And You fasten my seat-belt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.


Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

I believe that people can be broken, do you?