I'm not going to write about the election, because a lot of people are pissed about it, so instead I'm going to tell a story about Burger King.

Today for lunch after finally deciding to eat something today after abstaining from food, I picked up my Burger King coupons, and settled on a buy-one-get-one-free BK double cheese stacker with paper-thin bacon & Thousand Island dressing (tho a bare hint of it) with a value meal. I usually don't do value meals because I usually bring the food back home & there's always soda here, and I really don't need fries, and would rather have another sandwich item instead. Funny how these coupons not only covered the cost of the medium Dr. Pepper I had & the medium fries, but it also covered part of the two burgers individual cost, which would had been more expensive if I had just bought the two (yeah I'm fully aware of the magic that coupons were invented for). I talk to people across the country, and they've never heard or seen things like Arby's coupons or Burger King coupons. In the Chicagoland / NW Indiana area, we're generally given about $1,000 worth a coupons per Sunday Chicago Tribune paper each week, and basically have to hold them in a pickle barrel.

Burger King is not one of my favorite places to eat. Their fries don't really appeal to me. I remember in the early 1990s when they switched from McDonalds $tyle fries to the current, the chain nearly went bankrupt. Their sesame seed buns have a strange dry foamy texture that just seems to absorb moisture up like a sponge, and they don't taste very good. Their standard burger patties, measure 3" across and 1/4" in thickness, with their black grill marks painted on frozen patties (and only on one side) are fed through a broiler standing up while sprayed with liquid smoke, which is fine. Their cheese reminds me of crappy Kraft singles, like a oily, soft rubber cheese, which dissolves into the meat very quickly in high temperatures.

There's a strange sense that I get from eating Burger King burgers. A lack of satisfaction. I'll eat two cheeseburgers and feel hungry for a 3rd, or of something else. Once I ate 3 double cheeseburgers and I was still hungry and wanted something else. I'm not gonna fill up on fries because well, that's just ridiculous. And what's the deal with these big-ass red straws? Am I supposed to be pounding 6 ounces of soda per gulp?? I'm not drinking Bubble Tea where I have tapioca balls swallow, which I've never had btw. Burger King burgers are not particularly juicy, not consistent at all on the bun, the fries also act like sponges and have little to no flavor (I refuse to dip them in ketchup - I find ketchup completely vile by itself, as any Chicagoan should) and there just lacks something. Yes I'm aware it's cheap fast food, but c'mon, Wendy's is even cheaper, and their cheap burgers are miles better than this. And there's something wrong with a Whopper or Whopper Jr's veggies are more interesting and tasty than the pattie they sit on.

So for my troubles at Burger King, I get a slightly lighter wallet, a greasy brown bag, one less coupon, and still belching liquid smoke flavor 9 hours later. At least their mascot isn't a clown. That's key.

Well I voted today at 11am. Pretty low turnout, and not a very big ballot at all. There was like maybe 8 races going on. There wasn't even a line or any waiting. In 2004, I remember it being really crowded, and a much larger ballot. Seems they've resorted to circle ovals with Bic pens instead of fancy punch-outs or special inks. I know my Presidential vote means nothing, but my effort was more about local stuff. I'm not going to watch any network TV tonight because I'm so sick of this election. Looks like I'm gonna have to put up with Potsie and the gang for another hour tonight. His father really doesn't like him.

Since it's Taco Tuesday / Pick 'Em Tuesday, I got to see how my random picking systems worked from last week's picks. Suffice to say, it ranged from really good to really bad. I used four methods: using Sorry! cards, playing cards, dice and coin flipping. So basically, the process was looking at the Pick 'Em screen, picking a game, and plopping down two down cards, and who ever had the highest card (Aces high) gets picked for the game. Same principle for playing cards & dice. For the coin, a 1987 Canadian penny, with heads as 'home' and tails as 'road', and each game was flipped. The results with using the spread:

Sorry! cards: 5-9
playing cards: 3-11 (ouch!)
Dice: 10-4 (damn) (with every die reset at 1-5 and no interference)
Canadian penny coin flip: 7-7 (penny reset with heads up)

I used the Sorry! cards last week. Yeah, that's just.... great. I'm going to do the same 4 things this week and see how that goes. And now we have freakin' Thursday night games, which is completely ridiculous. Of course, the NFL would put games on every single night if they could, and put teams in every city in every country and put them all on the NFL Network, in their quest for global takeover. I think they should concentrate more on schooling their refs so they don't screw up so much, and drug testing their players than worrying about expansion, especially in Europe or North America. And what's going on in the Meadowlands is ridiculous. The new Jets / Giants stadium, the Jets are offering Personal Seating Licenses in an auction, with the top bid going as $82,000, with a minimum bid of $5,000 and at least two seats required. And that's not even including the price of tickets; just the right to buy tickets. Well apparently only 310 people dropped down the dough, and the Jets have 1,380 remaining.

As much as I love sports, I don't think I could stomach a full season ticket plan, let alone dropping a boatload of money on tickets in general. I also have this theory that there should be no such thing as season tickets, so that any fan at any date can get a front row seat to a sporting event, instead of these turds who keep tickets in the family decade after decade after decade. Every baseball fan should get to sit behind home plate for a game once, every football fan should get to sit behind the 50 yard line once, basketball courtside seat once, etc etc. Of course there's always minor league baseball, college sports, Little League, public leagues, etc etc, but it's still not the same. Tho I'm sure my theory is a terrible idea, in terms of revenue.

And I would like to close this entry by saying, "They never made a vinyl LP record big enough to hold Paul McCartney's ego."

Geez, even my legs are still sore from walking for miles. I spent my November 1st in Urbana, IL, going to the Hawkeyes / Illini football game which the Illini damn nearly blew, and made a stupid 4th quarter timeout with like :28 seconds left before kicking the game-winning field goal. It was my first ever trip to Memorial Stadium, and I got to see the tackiness of Field Turf for the first time. It was my first loud college football game. The only other NCAAF game I've been to was a Illini / Wildcats game in November of 2002 at Dykes Stadium, and that was a pretty quiet game. These Illini fans were really into it, they were even screaming after every 1st down, tho I'm sure it was due to the rarity of 1st downs in Illini football. After the game, we went to Murphy's, which was extremely loud, and me and my buddy ordered cheeseburgers, but he got his 20 minutes before I got mine, which was rather annoying, plus they didn't have the Fish 'n Chips I was looking forward to.

The game was alright, but the really cool thing was Illini hockey! Wow, cheap, only like 5 rows of seats and I got to sit in the front row in the corner, where I could literally reach over and almost touch the ice because there was no glass in front of me. I've never been that close to a hockey rink in my life, usually I'm stuck in the far back 300 section at the United Center for Blackhawks games. And who were the Illini playing? Frickin' Robert Morris College! We drove 2 1/2 hours to see a stinkin' local crummy hockey team?? A pretty good turnout for a Saturday night game. The fans were really into it, booing RMC when they hit the ice, and after all 6 Illini goals, the crowd screamed and pointed at the RMC goalie, "It's all your fault!" a few times, which reminded me of a Simpsons Thanksgiving episode, and then shortly after that, to some sports song, the crowd chanted "You suck!!!" towards RMC, and when the P.A. announcer said "1 minute remaining in the period", the crowd said "Thank youuuuuuu!" I would highly recommend home Illini hockey, even if you hate sports. Tho the guy on the Zamboni was pretty cocky and did some sloppy driving. We made sure we booed him. I have to say this game was one of the damn coolest experiences of my sports watching life.

I have to say, it was madness being in a town with Big Ten football. People were drinking beer on the street, screaming, and chugging beer, even right up to the ticket entrance. Tho I have to say it was really nice not to see stupid vendors in the aisle, tho at halftime they still did the Chief song, but with no Chief Illiniwek! They could have at least changed the song or something. Oh and get how much gas was down there... $2.15 a gallon! Next time I'll have to remember to bring some gas cans with me.

You know who I miss in television? Norm MacDonald. From his writing on "Norm", "Roseanne" and "Saturday Night Live", as well as his Weekend Update anchoring, which was the last time I enjoyed that on SNL, and in those days, that was considered to be the best part of the show. I miss his wit.

Halloween, I did nothing.

# - I've been writing a lot about the World Series lately. Boy, they have really turned that thing into a farce. MLB, by selling its soul to Fox, now really have their nuts in a vice, with all these Fox late Eastern primetime starting times, which made an absolute mockery out of Game 5. It was cold, windy and a 1" per hour rain was falling, and the infield was quickly turning into a mud field. They should have put the tarp on the field in the 4th inning, but being the douches they are, stretched it out to the mid-6th which conditions were unplayable, and the Rays got a run out of it. Apparently there is no rule in MLB that once a postseason game becomes official after 5 innings, there is obligation to finish it. And it's lame to call the game if the Phillies were up 2-1 if it happened, it being the World Series and all, like they're gonna crown the Phillies at like 2:37am after a given period of wait. Now Tuesday night's continuation has been suspended, with a possible Wednesday being suspended as well. Selig even joked that they'd wait till Thanksgiving if they had to. *Moan*. Stuff like this wouldn't happened if they just used common sense, and LISTEN to the forecasts, and move the game up to a mid-afternoon start so they wouldn't have to deal with rain they KNOW is coming, but Fox is just too damn insistent getting that primetime showing. It's my prediction that all baseball playoffs will end up on cable in the future, due to things like this happening and Fox realizing what a horrible investment it is, and I doubt other networks will throw the huge money at it.

# - Today was free 'Steal A Base / Steal A Taco' promotion day from Taco Hell, since in the World Series Game 1 in the bottom of the 5th, Tampa Bay Ray Romano's shortstop Jason Bartlett stole 2nd base, everyone in America gets a free crunchy seasoned beef taco on Tuesday, October 28th from 2pm-6pm (I know). So at 2pm I drove down to the Taco Hell hybrid and got myself a mid-afternoon snack. I look forward to digesting it sometime in the 2010's.

# - As for every Tuesday to me is known (or should be) as "Taco Tuesday", Tuesday is also my "Football Pick 'Em's Tuesday", given the lack of a better name. I have to say, this has been, without doubt, the absolute worst season I have ever done, both College and Pro. For Pro, I'm playing with a spread, so it makes it even harder. First I resorted to favorites, then home teams, then 'who's got the better uniform', then underdogs, considered using the Chicago Tribune Friday's sports section NFL roundup, and now in complete desperation, I've resorted to completely random picking. Those include: using the deck from the board game "Sorry!" using two down cards to find the higher one (a few teams got Sorry cards), a pair of dice from the board game "Yahtzee!", or a coin flip with heads being 'home' and tails being 'road'. I haven't decided what coin to use, I thought maybe a penny from the year I was born, or some out of place penny from 1987 of Can-o-da (if anything significant happened that year in Can-o-da, drop a line). I'll be keeping records.

# - Halloween is Friday. It is not a holiday I celebrate. I haven't trick or treated since October 1990, and when you're 5' 6", that's when you know the end is near, and I was never the vandalizing type, so I had no use for it anymore. It always seems like it rains and is cold and windy here on Halloween, tho when I went, it was usually pretty decent. I was never really into costumes, I hated any makeup or masks, tho I did go as the devil a few years (SATAN!) including one of the lamest costumes I ever came up with (or heard of) in Kindergarten, where I went as "Man with beard", even tho I couldn't even spell the damn word at the time. Back in the day, my favorite candy was: Milky Ways, Butterfingers, Reeces Peanutbutter Cups, Sweettarts, Nestle mini chocolate bars, Junior Mints, Twix, Nerds, and those soft pink bubble gum wads that came in white & blue wax paper. I never really cared for the stuff with nuts, coconut, or were chewy, and Candy Corn always made me feel sick. Around the neighborhood, there was always the cheapskate bastards who gave us sacks-o-pennies, people who cheap-out and use the self-serve Brach's candy bin in the local supermarket and stock up on cheap caramel Brach Royals & jelly drops (my parents) or the religious freaks next door who gave out Baptist literature only to be littered on the front lawn, and your typical hard jelly-filled candies that cut your mouth and tongue up. I'm just glad I don't work in an office where I would be expected to participate in dressing up. If they asked, "Where's your Halloween spirit?", I'd reply, "Back in 1990, where it belongs".

# - Bird is still the word.

Man, I haven't written a blog entry in a while. Now here's a bunch of random thoughts.

# - Tennis. One thing I learned about myself, is that in tennis, I will inexplicably lose my ability to properly serve. I always start off with really good, fast low-bounce serves, but somehow during the latter half of playing, I'll completely lose it. As was the case in my most recent game where I lost in the only set 6-7 (3) after having a 5-3 lead. Tho I'm pleased that I can still haul this tall turd-ass body across the courts like I'm still 15.

# - Card games. I've realized that I am not going to get any better at Cribbage. I've completely exhausted the strategy and I'm going to be as good as I am forever. Only the worst string of hands can defeat me. And in a random related note, the words "Euchre stick" popped into my mind recently when one of my friends went the mall years ago looking for one. I have yet to find one online, tho I'm assuming it'll be some dice-like object with all four suits on there, for when you "stick it to the dealer" in the game. Tho it's always more fun to make your own knick knacks for games.

# - Bowling. While playing some Nintendo bowling (yes, the kid in me still gets nostalgic for those old games, those games had a lot of charm and were simpler and more fun to play than some of today's graphic-heavy games with monster controllers with like a dozen frickin' buttons and multiple directional pads & thumb sticks. And I have emulators & ROMS so I have hundreds of NES games on here) I bowled a 188 and a 189, including a game where I had an incredible eight 7-9 splits to pick up, which I did pick all of them up. Meaning, I know the geometry of the game, it's just never translated on the actual lanes. I usually average an awful 120 with 156 being my all-time best.

# - Food. After eating at my favorite Mexican restaurant the other day, I finally started to see the economy on a plate. My steak burrito (on a wheat tortilla) was priced the same but noticeably smaller, by say at least 33%. Oh well. I'll take smaller portions rather than larger prices. And today I had a Frisco Melt from Steak 'n Shake. Nothing like a totally greasy, soggy burger with fatty beef and two slices of cheese devouring it. It's the kind of burger on sourdough bread that I would love to eat every week, but know I shouldn't and only get it once every few years. Their fries still suck.

# - Fall '08 TV. A short list of the new shows I'm watching. "Worst Week" is by far my favorite new show, but I've never seen the original and I have no idea how much is changed, but Sam seems to have the worst luck ever. Sam's future mother-in-law looks like my old ding bat 8th grade Lit teacher. "Gary Unmarried", a CBS sitcom starring Jay Mohr. I haven't seen Jay since he was a skinny kid on SNL where he wasn't ready, and it's weird seeing him all middleaged. The show is alright, but the first 4 episodes were all of Gary complaining about his lousy divorce settlement, and the ex-wife is a total *****, and it seems like the same 'ol cliches with a hint of originality. I bet it runs for 13 episodes but probably not past 22. "Kath & Kim" on NBC starring Molly Shannon & Selma Blair. Holy crap what a piece of crap this is! The daughter is an insufferable complete total brat and has no sense of reality, the mother is extremely lame and both act extremely spoiled, and the plots are completely unrealistic, and quite frankly, extremely nauseating. I hope NBC cancels this show as soon as possible. "Life on Mars" on ABC, about a 2008 cop with a Cosby kid gf (Lisa Bonet) who gets hit by a car & is suddenly transported to NYC 1973. Now what would I be doing in 1973? Buying stock in new companies and placing bets on World Series & Super Bowl winners while building a kick ass vinyl record set? Perhaps. Or would I be out buying Topps baseball cards, or starting a band playing music or pitching movie & sitcom ideas to studios from after 1973? Perhaps (oh I'm a cop in' 73 & I'm supposed to be fighting crime? Maybe I can get around to it....). But we all know that the cop is lying on a hospital bed in a coma, and he seems to be stuck in one really bad dream. Already by the 2nd episode, it seemed "less 70s" because you don't see everyone smoking or drinking or see people hanging out in the street being hippies. And I'm going to close this entry by saying "Bird is the word".