Hey all, hope things are going well in your neck of the woods...

OK, so I am just going to jump right into this...the end of Prison Break...and if you have not seen this finale you should stop reading right now. While I am not going to recap the show, I am going to talk about the ending so you have been warned. These are just my random thoughts on the outcome of this terrific show.

The boys and I sat down last night ready for an awesome ending to our favorite show and it lived up to what I expected and more. The return of Sucre and C-note was great, like a visit from old friends. The boys were so disappointed when they thought Alex had betrayed Michael, but I, having come to love Mahone just couldn't see him doing that and I was very happy when it was reveled that he and Michael had planned the whole thing in an effort to save Linc. I figured that Michael would want and need to save both Linc and Sara and of course he did not let us down.

I loved seeing the return of Kellerman, and in the end he did right by the brothers and all concerned, but to think that someone with his history could become a congressman is rather scary. Danny Hale's wife spitting on him was a great twist and made me believe that he will go no further in politics, that if he were to try his past would eventually catch up with him.

Michael, finally having been pushed to the brink, pulling the trigger, spoke volumes about how much all this has changed him and it was a sad change. Once upon a time his pointing a gun at someone would have been out of character, but with all the betrayals, stress, and madness he has had to endure it has changed him, taken away any innocence he still had, and made him capable of things he would never have imagined before this all started. The gun jamming was a great touch, as living with the guilt of killing Christine would possibly have been too much for him to bear. So glad that Sara had the courage to do what needed to be done.

And now to the ending, everyone getting what they deserve...sort of. Self, unable to recover, was a fitting end to his back stabbing, burn anyone for my own good, ways. The general being fried in the electric chair was poetic justice as that was his plan for Linc and what ultimately started the whole thing. T-bag back in prison where he belongs, pocket hanging out once again for his next victim. Sucre and C-note back with their families and happy was a great thing. Linc, Sophia, and LJ off living a good life.

Alex Mahone and agent Lange, a nice twist. With all that had happened with Alex and Pam and that compounded by the loss of their son, I was not surprised to see that they were not able to reconnect, but to have Lange there with Mahone was very nice, as it was clear long ago that Lange loved him and would stand by him. I hoped he would get a bit of happiness and maybe with her, he has.

Michael, last but not least. I sat in my chair, watching as he and Sara strolled down the beach, making plans for the baby, plans for a life together, smiling and happy, and then the nose bleed. I sat, stunned, saying "no, no, no." But the writers were not listening. It was hard to watch the last scene, as with tears pouring down seeing is not easy. Michael dead, it was the one thing I did not want to have happen. I know, in time it will seem very romantic that the hero had to die, but that he left behind a part of himself in his son, and that Sara will always have their son, but that is little comfort now. Now I am saddened by the loss of Michael, my hero for the last four years. The end of an era, the end of one of the best shows ever made, and the end of characters I have come to know and love. They and the show will be greatly missed.

Hope you all have a great weekend....

later....

Hey all, hope your week is off to a great start. Mine is off to a start, but the temperature is down once again, it is raining, and tomorrow we may even have some wet snow mixed in with the rain, so I am already counting down to next weekend with the predicted warmer weather and plenty of sunshine. I have finally made a complete recovery after being so sick and it feels marvelous to be back to normal, or as normal as I ever get, that is. J

OK, so the topic of today's blog is an anniversary of sorts. Today is the tenth anniversary of the Columbine Shooting. A very sad event for us all, and one I still do not understand. It was not the first such shooting, nor was it the last, but at the time, it was one of the worst in American history. That day 12 students and one teacher were killed, 23 others were wounded, and the shooters ended the massacre by taking their own lives. Everyone involved in any way with this tragedy was forever changed, as was our entire culture to some extent. Prior to this, schools did not routinely install metal detectors, have locked doors, or have security cameras in every hallway and classroom. School was, prior to this, considered a safe place with the only danger an occasional fist fight. The only safety procedures practiced up until then were fire and tornado drills, as your fellow students were not thought of as a danger to your very survival. Now the schools have drills to teach students what to do if an armed person somehow manages to get inside. What was once considered a safe place no longer is and it doesn't stop there.

In the intervening years other mass shootings have taken place here in the States and there seems to be no end in sight. March 2001, Charles Williams, 15, killed two fellow students and wounded another 13 at a high school in California.

March 2005, Terry Ratzmann, 44, gunned down seven and wounded four at worship services in Wisconsin before taking his own life.

March 2005, Jeffery Weise, 16, killed nine starting with his grandfather and the grandfather's companion, before going to Red Lake High School in Minnesota, where he shot down five fellow students, a security guard, and a teacher. Seven other students were wounded before he took his own life.

April 2007, Seung-hui Cho, 23, killed 32 and wounded 17 before taking his own life at Virginia Tech. February 2008, Steven Kazmierczak, 27, a former student, fatally shot five students and wounded another 18 before committing suicide at Northern Illinois University.

These are just a few of the samples of mass shootings that have occurred in the years since Columbine and things seem to be escalating. Just from March 9th through April 6th of this year, 53 people were killed in seven mass shootings in the US and there are no figures available on the number of wounded. In most of these cases, the shooter ends up dead, either killed by the police or in the majority of cases, by taking their own lives. But before they take their lives, they leave in their wake nothing but grief and turmoil. Those lost all leave behind loved ones that will be changed forever and left to wonder why, with no answers ever to be found.

For those of us not directly affected by the shootings, there are no answers either, as we are left shaking our heads in disbelief. Some blame a lack of gun control and the ready availability of guns in this country, but I don't think the answer can possibly be that simple, after all, a gun without someone to pull the trigger is just so much wood and steel, a harmless inanimate object no more dangerous than a pencil or a piece of paper. Stricter gun laws will do nothing but make it harder for the hunter or collector to enjoy their hobby, while it will do nothing to keep guns out of the hands of criminals and would-be killers.

In the end, I have no conclusions, no ideas on how to stop all the senseless violence that is plaguing the country, but I do have a wish, and that is quite simple, I wish that we, as a society could get back to some sense of normality, back to a time when these killers and the mass killing of innocent people were not common place, back to a time when family was what mattered, you knew your neighbors, and you felt safe in your day-to-day life.

So, what do you think, is there a solution to this problem, and if so, what is it? later.....

Hey all, Happy Monday! I know, I am a day late for Easter wishes, but I trust that you all had a very nice day, got to spend time with family and friends, and possibly ate a few too many goodies. The Easter Bunny did hop through our house leaving a trail of chocolate goodies behind...such an awesome bunny. J We spent a very quiet day, just the kids and I, and enjoyed it very much.

So, here's what's been happening with me. I don't think I mentioned in my last blog that I have been a bit ill, OK, a bit is truly an understatement, I have been horribly ill for almost two weeks. So why didn't I go to the doctor, you might ask. To which I would tell you that this has been the strangest illness ever! I got it, then within a day or so I felt a better, then it hit again, more forcefully the second time and even worse the third. Finally I broke down last Thursday and went to the doctor, who let me know in no uncertain terms that I should have come in sooner. Now, after almost four days on medication I am truly on the mend! Hurray for that! I can breathe, I can hear, and I can almost taste food again! (my chocolate Easter egg is waiting for my taste buds to be fully back in order before it is indulged in) I figure another couple of days and I will be good as new. I have already told myself that if I get sick like this again, I will not hesitate to go to the doc...all good now, but we'll see when it happens. When it comes to seeing the doctor, I am as stubborn as any man.

On a better note, it seems that spring may actually arrive later this week. The birds are now greeting me every morning with their songs and it is not supposed to fall below freezing again after Wednesday night. We are looking at some sunny days, lighter jackets, and before long flowers blooming and the leaves beginning to fill in again on the trees. I am ready, I am waiting, and I am more than willing to greet the nicer weather.

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter....

later....

Hey all, hope you are well and that everything is going just the way you want it to. I am first apologizing for my absence, I have no concrete excuse, nothing that there are words to describe for my not being here. In the past months I have popped into this site, checked a few blogs, smiled at what I read, then left without comment. Shame on me, but my mother always told me if I had nothing nice to say, better to say nothing at all. I chose to say nothing. Don't get me wrong, the few blogs I read were nice, made me smile, made me think, but I have not been in a nice place lately and didn't want to inflict that on anyone.

I was afraid if I started to comment, on anything, things would escape onto the page that had no business being there, no business being released into the world at large, no business being shared, or in this case dumped, on people I have come to know and consider friends. I have missed you, my TV.com friends. I have thought of you often, wondered about you, and hoped you have been well.

I have spent the last months doing some soul searching, trying to find a way to put things into perspective and to get a handle on myself. I somehow seem to have lost touch with me, the up beat, positive, happy me. It is alarming at my age to realize that a lot of what I thought I knew was not reality, but in fact a sugar coated facsimile of what is really happening around me. The decline began with the death of my friend at the hands of her husband, which I wrote a blog about, but that was just the tip of the ice burg. I found myself drawing deep inside and turning my back on those things and those people I used to reach out to for guidance and a sympathetic ear.

Over the past few months I have tried again and again to post a new blog, to be open and forthwith about what was going on with me, but the ability to write a decent blog eluded me and the end result was always the same, like reading what would appear on the page if you opened up a vein and let all the poison inside spill out and form the words. Not pretty, not up beat, but dead depressing and rather hopeless and sad. I have been searching for something, I know not what, but the search continues. I know what I want, and that is quite simple, I want to put the blinders back on and pretend that all the bad in this world no longer exists, but that is as impossible as deciding not to breathe.

This morning I walked out the door to hear birds singing, for the first time since winter began and it was a hopeful sound, a sound I missed and it lightened my heart. I hope the birds will still be singing tomorrow and the day after and that spring will bring with it a new beginning, a new hopefulness, and a new feeling of wellbeing.

I have missed you all and am glad to be back. I hope you will forgive my absence.

Later....

Hey all, hope you are well on you way to being prepared for the upcoming holidays. I am a little behind, but given just a bit of time to myself should have everything done with time to spare...so hurray for that.

I have had an interesting week, and I am using the word interesting to prevent me from using many other words I could think of to describe my huge unexpected repair bill for my car. Poor Ethel, (yes, she now has a name) was sick again and this time it cost me an arm and part of a leg to get her back up and running. Good thing I took her in when I did, or she may have needed life support. She is back home now and all is well, but I sure did miss her for the days she spent at the service garage.

So anyway, I have been spending quite a bit of time baking and making candy for the holidays, this morning my house smells like fresh oranges, as that was the last kind of candy I made before I went to bed last night. I do love waking to the different scents and it inspires me to make the next flavor, just to see what the aroma will be. Sampling is not a bad thing either and with the kids, there is no lack of willing guinea pigs ready to try whatever new thing I come up with.

The subject for this blog literally came to me out of the blue, a simple statement made by a woman I know and it made me stop and think about so many things that I take for granted in my life, past experiences that have helped shape me into who I am, experiences both in loving and in heartache that are the very foundations of how I think and how I react to things around me.

This woman, I choose to use the term lady, as that is certainly what she is, stays pretty much to herself. In the eight years I have known her, I have never seen her carry on a conversation with anyone except me and those are usually rather short, very quiet, and very average day to day kind of chats. Nothing too personal, nothing controversial, just a little chatter to make the work day go faster. She will be waiting for me once in a while to share a joke she has just heard, or to tell me something interesting about her volunteer work at the animal shelter. She is a shy and quiet lady, but warm and kind, always asking about my children, my life, or what I think about the latest headlines on the news.

This lady, in her early 60's, came to me on Friday to tell me that she had gone in for a physical, she said that most everything was fine, nothing to worry about, but she also said that she had a bit of trouble with the annual pap smear. I asked what the problem was and she got even more quiet than normal and confessed to me that she has never had sex and so was a bit timid and very nervous about that particular test. I was floored! I struggled to keep my mouth from gapping open as she explained that she has never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, never been kissed by a man. I must admit, I was taken aback, her just saying the word sex was the closest I have ever heard her come to using a swear word and the way she said it made it sound like a dirty word. So what do you say to something like that?

I know from our chats over the years that her father died very young and she was left to care for an ailing mother, and help raise a younger brother. She took care of her mother for years, working to support the family until the brother finally graduated. He moved away, leaving her to continue to care for the mother, leaving her own hopes and dreams behind to do what was needed at the time. She has never complained to me about that, but says with a certain pride, how she took care of her mom right up until the end. The mother finally passed away, leaving the house to the daughter that had given up so much to take care of her.

By this time, she was in her late twenties, and her focus was not on finding a husband, someone to love her, but to survive. She had given up on her chance to further her education and so had to work hard to pay her bills and take care of herself, leaving no time for romance. She did what she needed to do and in that she lost the chance to love and be loved in a one on one way. While she has no regrets about the choices she has made and lives a contented life, she does feel that she missed out on some things.

As I thought about this I realized some of the things that we that are in love, or have loved take so much for granted. Sex, yes, that is a big one, but even more than that is the kindness shared between lovers, the little things that go without comment, but that mean so much. Having someone to take your hand and help you along, having that person you can be totally yourself with and they love you anyway. Knowing that no matter what, you always have someone in your corner to cheer you on, or to wipe away your tears, someone to build memories with, to share your dark days as well as your glowing ones. Someone to touch your cheek and tell you that your beautiful, to hug you at the end of the day, to hold you in the night.

Loving someone, being in love, can cause so much pain, but it can lighten you up more than you could ever imagine. It gives you strength, it gives you courage, and it brings with it a certain peace, a harmony and melody in this chaos filled world. To never have experienced the joys and sorrows of love, the fluttering of your heart as your lover touches you, the swelling of your heart when you feel your love is too big to be contained within your heart alone, all the wonders of that intense connection to another human being is allowing one of life's greatest experiences to pass by. To love is to risk pain, to risk heartache, but it is beyond worth that risk. Love, even if it is fleeting, short and painful in the end is worth it and I can't imagine what my life would be like had I never taken a chance on it.

My friend, great lady that she is, has missed out on a wonderful thing, but never having known love, all the wonders and pain that can accompany it, does not miss it. It is one of those things that until you have experienced it you cannot miss. She has no idea of what could have been and that is probably a good thing. For to have known love, how could you ever live without it again?

So that's it, my thoughts for the week. I hope you are all well, happy and looking forward to the holidays. Just be sure that with all the craziness of the season, you make time to have some fun...after all, fun is what life is all about...

later...