So maybe I lied. Maybe I didn't know I lied but maybe I just have to face that this year will be different, that life is meant to have all these different stressors and that, while I know I can handle them, new stressors can easily throw me for a loop. So maybe the ball of whatever it is still feels like a weight on my chest and maybe I can't seem to get control over some things but maybe it's ok. Maybe I just have to deal with the fact that I can't always be in control and that I have to accept my decisions and their consequences and enjoy all for whatever all is worth because maybe that's what matters. I love my job, love my life, and yet I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm stuck in a hole. I'm working on that feeling, every day, like we all are. It's amazing how regenerative the spirit is with great friends, family, and great students.

I've been reticent to voice that feeling, afraid that it made me look weak, feel weak, but it feels good to get it off my chest. Maybe I just found a foothold?

Anyway, I'd also like to pay homage to a man who has given me countless hours of leisure and who I am actually really sad and shocked to lose. Sounds like someone I know, right? Well, it is...I know his words. Had it not been for Eric LaSalle's homage to him before tonight's episode of ER, I would not have been the wiser. It would seem that all things Obama predominated the news cycle and therefore my attention. Perhaps this is as it should be but it doesn't mean I wish I had known sooner. Michael Crichton wrote so many books that I couldn't put down, brought to light so many different thoughts on society, science, and created entertaining works of fiction in various media format. I can't believe I won't read another new book by him. Whether you agreed with his politics or not, you can't tell me this man didn't touch your life. I'm in the middle of Timeline...it feels strange to read it now...like I'll never read another Crichton book. Rest easy.

It's amazing how music can transform you. I just saw Simply Sinatra at the Bushnell last night and I feel rejuvenated...funny how things just fit, like a puzzle, in your life.

Looks like they're working the kinks out one by one. Kudos to you tv.com

Now, what to blog about...life, work, politics, movies, books...hmmm...so much going on I suppose

Work has surprisingly been stressful. It took me until about a couple weeks ago to finally feel settled into the school year. Before that, I struggled to adjust to the learning level of my new students and remembing names of the 230 exploratory kids I see...yeah righ! But things are settling in and year two is feeling much better. I can breathe again. I wasn't dealing with the stress in the best manner either. I was working out but avoiding my gym (b/c of my new later schedule) and I was frustrated by the financial waste. So, I'm getting back in the gym routine as well. Phew...it is my drug of choice, exercise, and without it I can get pretty irritable.

As for life, all is well. Operation Cindy, meaning forcing myself out, was well-intentioned and I have had a good time spending my weekends camping, seeing shows in New York, and dancing in Boston, but it's also getting a big overwhelming. It feels like a 7 day work week b/c I don't sleep well in strange places and am desperate for some me time. So, despite the upcoming weekends continuing the busy trend, I see a clear horizon for some of November and I can't wait to enjoy empty movie weekend alone! Ahhhh...can't wait...

Books...;(...I've been on temporary hiatus, reading maybe a couple pages a day. Currently, I'm finishing Aristophanes, The Birds, readying myself up for part two of my double feature show weekend. Saturday I see Sweeney Todd matinee and then The Birds, a modernized political version, at night.

Movies...given my intense crush on Gerard Butler (like many other women I know), I've been watching Butler films. My Blockbuster queue was sending me Ireland themed films and now Butler featured films and I'm enjoying that.

Politics...no energy to go there...another more purposeful blog

Sorry that this was just blather but I felt like I had to post something!

The following is what I initially wanted to blog about before my frustrations got the best of me. I'm really not that upset by the kinks. Tv.com will work them out as they have done in the past. In the meantime, I'll use movietome and hope that my trusted contributer status' don't get revoked b/c of my lack of activity. I swear I have pages of contributions but they're not going in with the right format. Which begs this question...does anyone have any clues on how to work the kinks or you all just biding your time?

Ok...here was my blog. GL fans hark!

So, it's Wednesday and I'm openning my email and I find one from Hartford Stage telling me about a night Wednesday performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Now, I had originally planned to attend a few weeks from now but another event popped up and I was looking for a new date. When this email came through with an advertised discounted price, I jumped at the chance despite the fact that I knew it would keep me up past my bedtime. (remember I'm a teacher and generally try to work out in the morning) It was bloody fantastic, probably one of the funniest productions I've seen, and just a wonderful rendition of the comedy. I loved the director's take on it, the actors interpretation of the text and adlibbing (particularly reacting to a certain older lady audience members audible reactions). A few Guiding Light alums (i.e. EDMUND!!! as Oberon/Duke) starred and were just hilarious. Puck, Bottom, all their acting was so funny. I'm gushing and not providing enough substance but it was this production that once again reminded me the great thing about live theater. It's interpretive and reactive, feeding off of the energy in the room. I guarantee that performance cannot be recreated. I'm also really happy I went simply b/c I love shows and I did go to them, alone mind you b/c my traveling companions were not show-goers, on the cruise, and in Ireland with my travel partners but it's been awhile since I've seen a comedy and laughed that much. It was refreshing. The fact that I did it during the week...it's part of operation Cindy...After Ireland, I had fun withdrawal and after this cruise I promised myself to go out...even if I'm feeling homedrawn. So, there it is.

If you're from the area, check it out! I might even go for a second run.

Now, it's back to Friday time.

One word of wisdom. My cousin, one of my closest friend, and I were estranged for nearly a month. No big deal-just misunderstanding and some needed cool down time. However, because I tend to just let things go (I don't really) and accept that people are just different (I wholeheartedly support this), when I don't get along with someone I just let it go b/c I figure it's a difference in personality, beliefs. Well, I was bottling up some things about this cousin, shocking given how open I am regularly, and I felt so relieved to just unload. We'll agree to disagree. For the time being, it's just great to be speaking, hanging out, friends again. So, word to the wise, John Mayer has it right. Say what you need to say. You'll be the better for it.

Pictures are coming!