Has anyone heard of Twitter? It's the new "Big thing." For those that don't know:

Wikipedia wrote:

Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 bytes in length which are displayed on the user's profile page and delivered to other users who have subscribed to them. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends or, by default, allow anybody to access them. Users can send and receive tweets via the Twitter website, Short Message Service (SMS) or applications such as Tweetie, Twitterrific, Twitterfon, TweetDeck and feedalizr. The service is free to use over the Internet, but using SMS may incur phone service provider fees.

Twitter... It sounds like a colloquialism for a body part or a swear word. Twit, Tweet, Twot... At any rate, I'm just getting used to blogging on a once/twice a week basis. This sounds like too much. I don't need to alert everyone about what's going on in my personal life every five minutes.

8:00pm- I just got home.
8:05pm- I'm watering the grass.
8:10pm- I'm picking up dog poop from my lawn.
8:12pm- I threw it at the neighbor's kids because I know it came from their dog.
8:15pm- I'm on the throne taking a dump and reading Maxim. *plop*
8:25pm- I'm eating dinner.
8:26pm- OMG! I forgot to wash my hands... and I'm having meatloaf.
8:56pm- I'm turning on the TV to watch the American Idol results.
9:55pm- Scott didn't get eliminated?!?
10:05pm- I'm getting ready for bed.
10:15pm- I'm getting a tea bag.
10:30pm- I'm catching Z's.
12:34am- I dreamt that I was having a threesome with Leah Dizon and Megan Good when they suddenly morphed into Vampires and chased me into the street butt-naked.

What's I'm saying is this whole Twitter revolution is just too much. People don't need to know what the hell you're doing every second of every minute of every hour.

It was quite humorous to hear that Milwaukee Bucks forward, Charlie Villanueva was caught and reprimanded by Coach Scott Skiles for "Tweeting" during halftime of a game against the Celtics.



He just had to alert his fans that: "We're playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up." I'd be kind of embarrassed to tell my fans that Glen "Big baby" Davis is knocking me around like a ping pong ball. In any event, do you Twitter?



My Birthday weekend was great! Thanks to everyone for the B-day wishes. I went to Monterey with my fiance sporting the brand, spanking new Oakleys she sprung for me:



We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium for a few hours and smelled the stinch of sea life and saw the number one killer of idiots that venture out where they don't belong.







Sea Horses REALLY exist!



Afterwards, we hung out at the Wharf and walked along the beach for a bit, tooks some pics and enjoyed the scenery.





That's me in my Green Lantern jersey, GL hat and Green Oakley's. I look so cool. Speaking of Green Lantern, check out this ultra cool TRAILER for the animated movie.

We wanted to go to Bubba Gumps and get BOHICA'ed for a $50 meal, but it was too crowded so we went elsewhere. Still, we had a nice time hanging out in Monterey, but the drive took forever! It was two and a half hours ONE WAY! It'll probably be the last time I go to Monterey.

I'm sure people wonder why I'm picture crazy. Well, when I attended High School and College, I didn't take many photos so I don't really have any kind of visual documentation of my life during that time period. I've reached a point in my life where I want EVERYTHING photographed just to illustrate, "Yes! I was there and it was something I participated in."

The following day, I had a BBQ at my place for Wrestlemania. The show was just okay, but it was good having friends over. I've lived in my house a smidge over seven years and this was only the 4th time I've had some type of get-together. I hate organizing parties and things because it ticks me off to no end when people no-show. Anyway, just about everyone showed up this time around and we had a pretty good time overall. It was too bad we didn't have more time for video games. Oh yeah! I did give my friend a nice beating in Street Fighter II though. Heh heh.



Zangief for the WIN!!! Legends of Wrestlemania looks like a really fun game. A couple of my friends had a blast with it, but all they did was punch each other. There were VERY few grapple moves. Still, I just might pick it up.



Baseball Season has officially begun and the San Francisco Giants are UNDEFEATED!!!! We had a nice offensive showing against the Milwaukee Brewers in the tune of a 10-6 victory.



I just had to throw that in because it'll probably be the last time I can say it. Even though we won our first game and Home opener, the reigning Cy Young winner, Tim Lincecum got knocked around and out in the 3rd inning.



Still, we won and in sports, "A win is a win!"



Here's something I just don't understand:



Why on Earth did she take him back?!? It's not like Rihanna couldn't find another good-looking guy that would treat her well. Is his pipe-laying ability THAT good OR does love REALLY conquer all... including a right cross to the chin. OR is she just stupid? While we're on the subject of the Caribbean Goddess:









I thought she looked better with the longer hair... Maybe it's just me. I would happily be her Umbrella-ella-ella-eh? I wonder if Chris Brown will avoid jail time since the two have apparently reconciled. Because of his representation and the two getting back together, the Court may show of bit of leniency. If he does go to jail, we'll see if he can "Run it" from some dude named "Tiny" that wants to play 'Hide the Meat.'

This blog has been brought to you by the letter "T."



Oh yeah! I DID get that tea bag for my Birthday!



What?!? Lipton makes great tea!

Has anyone ever been taught in grade school that if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, it doesn't make a sound?



Personally, this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Of course it makes a sound! Just because nobody is there to hear it, that doesn't mean it doesn't make a sound! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! If two deaf people are signing and one of them farts, does that mean it didn't happen because nobody heard it? How they can teach such nonsense in school is beyond me... and they wonder why students have such low test scores. This is like a Camel putting its head in the sand. If the Camel puts its head in the sand, will the Lion still eat his ass? Yes!

If someone wants to debate this, I'm willing to hear the other side of this argument... and then prove you wrong. That tree will ALWAYS make a sound.



Over the weekend, I saw Knowing starring Nicholas Cage.



Funny thing- After my lady and I purchased the tickets, we were met by a cute, little girl that checked the tickets before they let you in the theater. She looked up at me and said with an ear to ear smile, "Woooow! You're huge!" The pig in me almost said, "I knooooow... " like J.J. from Good Times but I didn't want to get hit. She then went on to ask if I played professional sports because of my height... and I'm only what, 6'3" maybe 6'4"? It's this type of attention that I frequently get that makes me wonder if I'll be able to handle being Married. I'm not going to lie, I LOVE the attention that women pay me... and that's not out of vanity, conceit or arrogance. Wherever I go, I seem to have women flirting with me... even with my lady standing there! That's one of the fears I have about getting Married. I'm afraid I'll have a moment of weakness and screw it up... and this girl was REALLY cute and someone you would LOVE to have ride you like a Bronco Buster. Just some of the many thoughts I have rattling around inside my head. Sylent's inner thoughts...

At any rate, back to Knowing. Without giving too much away, I thought it was a pretty good flick. It was thought-provoking, compelling and had enough action to keep you entertained, however the ending left a bit to be desired. It has one of those ambiguous endings that make you wonder what the hell they were thinking... and I never knew Depeche Mode were Earth's saviors.



I like Depeche Mode, but come on! Anyone that's seen the flick knows exactly what I'm talking about. I did like Cage's co-star, Rose Byrne. She's really cute and has that Girl-next-door look to her.









I also saw Transporter 3 for the first time over the weekend.



I thought it was *meh*. It had plenty of action, but most of it was unrealistic and WAY over the top and the story was kind of weak. Parts of the movie seemed like it switched from Transporter to Crank. Crank... Does anyone know the colloquialism for crank? No? Here's a hint:



Anyway, the girl in Transporter was kind of cute if you dig red heads with freckles...





but overall, the movie falls short, especially considering how good the first Transporter was. They need to quit making these movies while they're ahead... and I like Jason Statham, but damn. He should stick to Martial Arts flicks... and he was ripped out of his mind in this flick. I think he was on Steroids. Nobody gets that ripped that fast.

For the ladies:









Speaking of bad movies, I present to you the Worst Movies of all the times (Santino Marella):



10. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace- If it wasn't for the duel of fates, I would have slept through this entire movie... and don't get me started on that idiot, Jar Jar. Why he's still in the Clone Wars is beyond me.



9. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace- The concept of the Nuclear Man was actually kind of cool, but the movie just sucked. Let me get this straight... Superman begins to die because he gets scratched?!? Uh, yeah. For the sake of Superman and Christopher Reeve's memory, let's just pretend this crap doesn't exist. Well, too late.



8. Steel- How this crap was ever made into a serious film is beyond me. I think this movie is what ASS tastes like.



7. Godzilla 1998- If you knew absolutely nothing about Godzilla, this movie might have been pretty good for you, but as a HUGE Godzilla fan that grew up watching the Chiller Diller Creature Features after Soul Train, this movie was a steaming pile of manure. Godzilla is NOT a giant Lizard... and the Japanese went out of their way to make sure the Lizard got its just desserts in "Godzilla: Final Wars."



6. Street Fighter- I STILL feel as if I wasted my money on this crap... and it was over a decade ago! If you want to see a GOOD Street fighter, watch the anime version. THAT is a good movie. The fight between Chun Li and Vega is epic and one of the best fight scenes in anime history.



5. Double Team- Another Van Damme monstronsity. Everything in this flick is bad... Acting, dialogue, action... and just about anything involving Dennis Rodman is garbage.



4. Van Helsing- Oh, Kate Beckinsale... What have you done? I like both Hugh and Kate, but I'm sorry. This flick was awful. It's an adventure that lives forever in infamy and suckitude.



3. Showgirls- Even the gratuituous nudity couldn't save this crap. Everyone wanted to see Elizabeth Berkley's *ahem* assets, but most couldn't even get that far before walking out.



2. Napoleon Dynamite- I'm sure some, probably most are going to disagre with this choice, but this was one of the few movies that I couldn't stomach. The best part of this movie is hearing "The Promise" at the end by 'When in Rome'. Everything else sucked and very few scenes were funny. You had to be high on weed to enjoy this garbage. "GOSH!"



1. Batman & Robin- The worst piece of crap ever made with an all-star crap cast. This was the only Superhero movie I've ever fallen asleep on... AT HOME! Everyone that participated in this travesty should have been ashamed and volunteered to be lynched and hanged.



Did I miss any? I'm sure I did. If so, let me know.

Have a nice day!

This blog has been brought to you by the letter "C."

What would you do with your winnings?

I'm sure I've covered this particular topic before, but the answers might have change based on the current state of the economy. Depending on how much I won, I would definitely do my part in stimulating the economy. First, foremost and most importantly, I would pay off my House. With the mortgage crisis in high-gear, my home is currently $60,000 under water. It would be such of relief to pay off my Mortgage. I've been pretty good about the credit cards and don't have any other debt than bills and my House so that's not a worry. I would probably pay off my fiance's Parent's house to liberate her from their diabolical clutches.

The next thing I would do is stop working. I always hear people say, "Oh, if I won the lottery, I would still work...." They are so full of crap! I call BS unless you're doing something fulfilling OR something you've studied for. While I'm thankful to be employed during this horrid economic downturn, it would be nice to have a career in what I went to school for, Computer Graphic Design. There's no creativity in legal work. You do what you're told and that's it. Everything is mundane and formulaic and at the end of the day, it's not fulfilling. I would additionally love to say goodbye to my 5-hour a day commute. Yes, I said 5 hours a day. During the work week, I spend 9 hours at home and the other 15 commuting and working. What a life.

Next, I would get a personal trainer and get my lazy, fat ass in shape. I'm starting to get a gut for crying out loud! It's not because I eat like a pig or anything. I just don't exercise and work out like I used to when I was young and virogous. Just a few years ago, I used to work out every day, 7 days a week, but the 5 hour commute has worn me down. Now, the only work-out I get is when I tend to the yard. I've lost the desire and will so I could definitely use a personal trainer to light a fire under my ass so I can get back into shape.

I would certainly do a spot of travelling. Aside from going to Vegas a bunch of times, I really haven't been anywhere. I've always wanted to go to Paris, France and see the Eiffel Tower and a few of the museums, the Louvre in particular.





I've never been to New York, let alone the East Coast. I've always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty.



This might sound corny coming from me, but I've always wanted to go on an Alaskan Cruise and see the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights). I used to study Astronomy when I was younger and was fascinated by the Aurora Borealis.



I've never been outside of the US and I've always wanted to check out the white beaches of Cancun, Mexico and take a tour to see the Pyramids... and hope Vines don't try to eat me. (Trivia: What bad movie was that from?) I would also like to impress the locals with my Spanish.



I've always wanted to see Mt. Rushmore. I realize there's pretty much nothing else in South Dakota, but it's something that I'll probably never get a chance to do so why not?



The last thing I would do is BUY all the women in my banner. They will be my personal Harem. Leah's new name would be Miss Monday, Maria would be Miss Tuesday, Kristin would be Miss Wednesday and so on. I know there are only 6. That's intentional because on the seventh day, I shall rest.



Movies I'm looking forward to:

Knowing- I'm not a fan of Nicolas Cage, but I like apocalyptic movies like Armageddon, Independence Day, Deep Impact and Day After Tomorrow where the Earth is in danger of being destroyed.



12 Rounds- This movie actually looks pretty good, but might be a copycat of Speed.



Fast & Furious- I really like the F&F flicks and since Jordana Brewster is back, I'll certainly be checking this one out... and her bath water is still mine!



Crank 2: High Voltage- I like Jason Statham, but I thought the first Crank was crap. They should have called it Crack since you had to be high to enjoy that mess. Maybe this one will redeem the last one and Statham's good name.



X-Men Origins: Wolverine- Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine. Can't wait for this one! I can't help but wonder if this was made just to exclude Halle Berry since she vehemently protested for a large role in the last X-men flick that failed miserably.



Ladies, just for you...









I so wish I had his body. "TORNADO CLAW!!!"

Star Trek- I'm not really a Trekkie, but I've seen every Star Trek movie ever made. With Sylar playing Spock and special effects that appear mind-blowing, this is a must-see for this Sci-Fi geek.



Cutie pie Zoe Saldana will be playing the role of Lt. Uhura.









My God, I would so hit that.

Terminator Salvation- I wonder how much Bale will be cursing in this movie.



Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen- As a big fan of the G1 Transformers, I'll be checking this out at some point. Too bad Optimus Prime is always getting his exhaust pipe kicked in these movies. On a positive note, the delectable and Single Megan Fox will be back for us to drool over so maybe it won't be a total loss.



So yummy! Even though I'm not a fan of the tattoos, I'll post any pic of Megan where she's showing her pretty little toes. Yes, I have a female toe fetish. Sue me.





Since there were a few disappointed people in my last blog (not saying any names) because there were no hotties, here is a relative newcomer to the scene, Miranda Kerr (No relation to Steve Kerr). She's an Aussie Victoria's Secret model.













Ooh Wee! (The current song in my head from watching Hitch and Harold & Kumar) So yummy! I so love her sweet dimples. The lovely, light eyes, petite body and tiny little face... She definitely has that adorable look to her; Someone you would want on top, grinding the Man juice out of you.

Oh! Rafiki has a couple of things that he wants to show you.




***SPOILER***

Have a nice day!

This blog has been brought to you by the letter "X."

Everyone apparently with the flick clearly in front of every other film in theaters grossing $55.6 million over the weekend.



Just a brief review without giving anything of substance away- This film isn't for everyone. It's very graphic and contains a bit of nudity that's comparable to softcore pornography. In addition, the violence is off the chart with bone-chilling, bone-breaking fight scenes. It's a pretty faithful adaptation to Moore's 1985 graphic novel, but had a few scenes left out that will make it to the animated DVD.



I really enjoyed the film (not because of the nudity), but that was because I read the book and already had prior knowledge of the plot and characters. I'm not sure the average person would enjoy this movie without a bit of background information. Upon the first read of the graphic novel, I quit after ten pages because I knew nothing about it. Very few Superhero books start from a clean slate of characters so the initial read left me a tad confused. To add, there was an insane amount of reading. Modern day Comics are art oriented with very light reading, but this was book contained a heavy dose of panels filled with dialogue. This is not a book you can flip through to catch the gist of it. You actually have to read each panel to completely understand everything. The ultra cool trailer is what gave me the incentive to go back and re-read the book.

While watching the movie, there were two groups of people that walked out in the middle, seemingly of disgust. My fiance who had no prior knowledge of Watchmen absolutely hated the movie and stomached through only because I was enjoying it. I spoke with some folks that saw the movie at the local comic book shop and the ones that didn't know anything aside from what they saw in the trailer were hopelessly lost and confused.

Bottom line: If you hadn't read the book or don't have that Comic Book part of the brain, I wouldn't recommend this movie. Going in green isn't a good idea unless you're a Comic fan that gravitates towards movies that contain extreme violence. For most, some background information is almost required for you to enjoy this flick.

Did anyone watch the Watchmen over the weekend? If so, what were your impressions?







I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like to Spring Ahead and take that one hour hit to my sleep cycle. Being someone that wakes up at 4:40am, that one hour is a huge difference. When I was younger, I didn't really care and enjoyed the extra daylight because that meant more time I got to fool around outside, but now that I'm older, I kind of like it getting dark early... or maybe I'm just strange like that.



Did anyone forget to set their clocks an hour ahead? I can't see how anyone would forget since the news stations hammered it into our heads the entire weekend.



Have a nice day!

First off, I know there were a few people that blogged about the new "Lights On/Off" feature, but what are your final thoughts on the function? PASS or FAIL?

My thoughts: Right idea, wrong execution. The concept is cool with the ability to change your preferences, but it still FAILS. Where we post is where we have the issue, NOT the borders. We're rarely looking at the borders and if you have your favorites button clicked, you can't even see the borders. If they changed it so you could have the middle of the screen with the lights off, that would be exactly what we we've been clamoring for... and what about the smileys and the fonts?



Their failure wasn't EPIC. I just like Darth Vader.



Speaking of Darth Vader, over the weekend, I went to the 2009 San Francisco WonderCon. Since just about everyone says I resemble Lawrence Fishburne, I decided to play off that and dress up as Morpheus from The Matrix. Again.



Since everyone has already seen my ugly mug, I'll share a few pics from the show and highlight some of the celebrities I got to meet:

Adam West- Dude charged $50 for a photo and autograph!! Geez! He's not THAT relevant.


C.J. Graham- The guy behind the mask in Friday the 13th.


The Honky Tonk Man- He's Cool, he's cocky, he's bad. The other guy is my buddy from Utah.


Greg "the Hammer" Valentine- Dude is in pretty bad shape. All the falls, injuries and bumbs from wrestling has killed this guy's mobility.


Dawn Marie- She's pregnant for those wondering. She was really nice and friendly. We talked to her for about 10 minutes. After she gives birth, she plans on getting back into Wrestling.


Erin E-surance- Or at least the chick behind the voice.


Jasika Nicole from Fringe- She's so adorable, but was charging WAY too much for autographs. I would love to do a make-over on her and straighten her hair. I could make her look amazing.


Jamie Luner- From Growing Pains and Just the 10 of us.


Comic Artist Jim Lee-


That chick from Amazing Race and her Husband- They seemed really cool.


Me and Green Lantern Kicking it-


Hanging out with Green Arrow and Black Canary-


This was a cool group. I don't know who they are, but that Indian babe in the middle is HOT.


Cammy and Catwoman- Catwoman is TALL and Cammy has a sweet body. Threesome, anyone?


Rorschach, son! I'll be seeing him on Friday!


Slave Leia- Damn! I'd be her slave. She was saaa-mokin'!


Wonder Woman- She's a bit thin, but still cute.


Zatana- This girl was gorgeous! Oh, those long, sweet legs... I was hoping she would say, "!em ot evol teews ekaM" Zatana fans will get that.


I don't know who this is, but she's sizzling! Blue hair and all. If someone knows who she's supposed to be, let me know!


One of my highlights of the night was meeting this gorgeous babe. When I saw her, I had to do a double-take. From there on, I was in lust.

She was so attractive that I just had to take a picture with her. We took several pics together and she asked if she could hold my gun. Guess what went through my mind? "Of course, babe! You can most certainly hold my gun." If she asked me to elope, I most certainly would have... and I'd never be seen or heard from again. She could have even had a hideously grotesque Morton's toe and I would have still sucked it like a popsickle.



For those that don't know, Morton's Toe is when the second toe is longer than the big toe. My educational tip for the day. Sylent's blogs... Entertaining and Educational. Hey! That'll be my new blog catchphrase!

This is me kicking it with some hotties cause that's how I roll, son!


My friends, Kato and Superman in a jersey.


Even Sesame Street got into the act. "Yep-yep-yep-yep! Uh-huh-uh-huh!"


Even Jesus was there!


...as well as Godzilla. Too bad Bambi wasn't there for him to stomp on.


I had a blast at the show! Too bad I couldn't attend for more than that one day. I missed Summer Glau on Sunday. Still, attending that one day did wonders for my ego. It's a wonderful feeling when people that don't know who the hell you are want to take photos with you. It's even better when hot chicks walk up and hug you for no reason. I was LOVING that. It's a good thing my lady didn't go because I would have been in trouble. You haven't lived until you've felt like a celebrity... and I was happy to take all those pictures. I even did an interview for some internet company. I just hope they don't twist my words around and make me look like a wierdo.



Got a new banner up! All the same babes aside from the one on the very end. Allow me to introduce you to the lovely Tina Yuzuki. Another mixed babe of Japanese and Portugese desent. Yummy!











She's not voluptuous or anything, but with that face, she's definitely someone you would want on top of you.

Ladies, I haven't forgotten about you. How about the dapper Jeffrey Donovan aka Michael Westin from Burn Notice.









Donovan is such a cool name. Whenever I hear it, I think of Mike Donovan from "V The Final Battle."



...and I don't mean that Beastmaster crap.

Have a nice day!

This is the first time I've composed a blog on TV.com since the changes last year. Food for thought.

Anyway... We've all heard of the Octomom, right? The lady that recently had 8 children at once is all over the news.



Twirlit wrote:

Nadya Suleman, often referred to as Octomom has been offered a new way to make money to raise her children. Vivid Entertainment, a major porn distributor has offered Octomom $1 million to star in her own film. To make the deal even sweeter, if she agrees to become a "contract girl", which means she will star in a series of films, they will offer medical and dental insurance for her and her children at no cost to her. END-

For the remainder of the story, click HERE.

My question to you would be, Would you sell your soul to the porn industry (or for an indecent proposal) for financial peace of mind and benefits for your entire family?

I'm sure you all know my answer. To quote Stone Cold Steve Austin, "HELL YEAH!" Well, as long as it isn't gay porn and I get to exclusively do one-on-one's. I know it sounds selfish because I'm primarily thinking of myself, but if I had the opportunity to make easy, legal money, pay off my debt and home while my family received full benefits, I'd take it. I would don a Rey Mysterio mask for anonymity and in "the industry" be known as El Verga Grande.



I'm tired of the struggle; waking up at 4:30am and coming home at 8:00pm, the daily grind, dealing with people I don't like on a daily basis, worrying if I'm next to be laid off... If I had the chance to end all of that, you're damn straight I'd take it.

I have a decent career and earn a decent living, but quite frankly, I'm tired. I've had to work since I was 15 and full-time since I was 18. I'm sick of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that I have a job in these horrific encomic times, but ultimately being a "yes man" and someone else's subordinate isn't what I want to do for the remainder of my life. We had layoffs a couple of weeks ago and I was thinking that getting laid off might be a blessing in disguise so I could aspire to do something else that I would enjoy.

What made me give my life a long, hard look was something that happened a couple of days ago. A co-worker came into my office and said, "I just gave my notice of resignation. My Husband just got a job in another city earning a substantial amount more and he will support me while I attend school to get my Master's degree." She went on to say how much she hates this job and looks forward to starting a new chapter in her life. Must be nice. I wish I could quit my job and have someone support me while I went back to school. In addition, a friend of mine is staying with me for the week and he asked, "Why do you do this to yourself?" Other than "I like my House and vehicles," I really couldn't give an answer of substance because my life does kind of suck. It would be nice if I could just pick up and do something else, but current times aren't allowing for whimsical decision-making.

Any thoughts? Would you become a slave to "the industry" to become financially stable like the Octomom or would your ethics, morals, religion or otherwise forbid you?



Oh! Just to give you an update on my tax situation, she FINALLY called me last night and I picked up the documentation this morning. I wasn't in the mood to haggle and didn't mention her not returning several messages. Incidentally, she gave me a $50 discount on the tax preparation. That was the least she could have done for not returning my messages. Additionally, I haven't paid yet so maybe I'll give her a taste of her own medicine. What's the old saying? "What's good for the Goose..."

Bonus points if you can finish the old adage.



I know Rafiki disappointed most of you last time because of the 'Rick Role' so here's something to hopefully make up for it.




***SPOILER***

Rafiki says "Look harder..."

Finally, my current favorite song, YACKETY SAX. I can't get enough of it.

Not the old sitcom, but people in your life.

It's tax time and every year I have the same person take care of my taxes. It's my friend's Sister-in-Law that just happens to work for H&R Block. She's done my taxes for the past 6 years and she's done a really good job up until now. Two weeks ago, I gave her my tax paperwork. She was nice enough to allow me to deliver the documentation to her primary job so I wouldn't have to drive a great distance in my commuter car that's been giving me the "Check Engine Light" problems. Anyway, she said she would get back with me with the numbers and details in a few days.

Well, nearly a week passed without hearing from her so I assumed she was busy. Last Saturday, she gave me a call in the afternoon and said she would call me later on that night with the results. That was the last time I heard from her. I called her several times and left messages and received no response. The last time I called her, she had her 10 year-old niece (My friend's daughter) answer the phone so I left a message with her. I still received no reply. This woman has ALL of my tax paperwork and won't return any of my messages. My mood turned from concern to raging anger. Not only is it unprofessional to hold someone's paperwork and not return messages, it's disrespectful considering this is coming from a friend of the family. I expect better. I didn't know what else to do aside from email my friend and ask what the hell's going on.

Last Friday, I sent my friend an email asking if anything was wrong with his Sister-In-Law. I didn't want to go storming into her workplace like a scoundrel and find out she had Health issues or someone passed away so I used discretion and contacted my friend who has always been very helpful. I mentioned in another blog somewhere that I only have 4 TRUE friends and I considered this guy one of them. We've always called ourselves 'Brothers from different Mothers." Well, when I asked him if anything was going on as to why she wasn't returning my messages, he seemed reluctant to get involved; kind of like he knew something... and I never ask this guy for anything! I figure that he should feel he owes me since I sprung for a Christmas gift and didn't receive anything in return. At any rate, he told me that his Sister-in-law is having some kind of issue with her Brother. Suddenly, that immortal line that Big Worm uttered in Friday popped into my head: What the "F" does that have to do with me? As pressed and upset as I was, I didn't say it. He told me that he would call his wife and let me know when he finds something out. I haven't heard from him since. All weekend long I received no email, no phone call, no nothing. So at this point, the only remaining option is to storm her workplace like a Hurricane in the Keys, get ethnic in public and scare the living hell out of folks. I really hate doing that, but sometimes it's the only way to achieve results when people stall and start BS'ing you... and coming from a Black guy that's 6'2, 245, I have the perfect size for it.

It's been over two weeks! I gave her plenty of time to get whatever she's going through straightened the hell out. It only takes an hour to prepare taxes, IF THAT. At this juncture, I really don't know what to do aside from showing up in a rage. I understand if someone is busy, but to not return messages is unprofessional, especially considering she has all of my tax documentation. NOBODY is that damn busy. She's given me no other choice but to think that she's lost my paperwork. Not only am I upset with her, I'm upset and disappointed with my friend for not calling me back or at least emailing me. This is someone that I thought I could depend when I needed something. This is why I NEVER depend on people. You ALWAYS end up disappointed.

Any advice? What would you do if you were in my situation? Ever had anything like this happen to you?



Since pretty women make me feel better, I present to you the lust of my life, Leah Dizon with her pretty, green socks. Leah got a pretty good reaction last week from a few of you so here she is in all of her green glory. Leah Smash!















I would sell my soul for a night with her. Like that Baby Bash song, "she's So Yummy Yummy Yummy, Ohh She's Sweet As Honey. Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na. She's So Yummy And Delicious, Ohh With Tender Kisses. Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na...." I don't what it is about that song... and don't ask me what "Na na" is.

I know I haven't done much for the Ladies in a while so from One Life to Live, here is the delicious David Fumero aka Christian Vega.









That's a good-looking dude... This may sound fruity, but he looks great with long hair... and how about that? Only ONE topic... Sort of. Bonsoir.

Is there anyone here that has changed their habits or spending due to the deteriorating economy? I never thought I would see the day where well-known major chain retailers would close their doors forever. I'm talking Mervyn's, Circuit City and Blockbuster among a host of others. As most of you know, I'm currently engaged and was hoping to get Married this summer, but spending thousands of dollars on a wedding wouldn't be such a smart move in these trying times. Besides, weddings are more for everyone else than the actual people getting married.

Last week was a frightening time for me because I wasn't sure if I would be employed. My Company had a second round of lay-offs and sent out this message late last week:

Due to the deepening economic collapse over the last number of months, we have carefully considered and reduced expenses across virtually all of our operations. While we had hoped for a substantial rebound in economic activity, we believe that a major improvement in 2009 is increasingly unlikely. We value all of our people and are very grateful for their contributions to the Company, and we have worked hard to consider and employ every reasonable measure to avoid staff reductions. Our business model factors in some normal attrition in a healthy economic climate, but we have not seen that in this deteriorating economic environment. Given this, and overall market conditions, we have concluded with deep regret that we must reduce our ranks by approximately 190 employees in the U.S..

This Memo was sent out in the morning. Later that day, people were being notified that they were laid off. The sad thing was, there didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason as to whom they selected. The Memo went on to say that this wasn't performance-based, but with a few of the people that were selected, it made people around the office wonder since they were known to make waves. Anyway, a few of the people that were let go had been with the Company for several years, some for nearly a decade. It almost seemed like they were let go because they made a pretty good salary and the Company wanted to make some substantial cuts in cash and benefits. Fortunately for me, I make peanuts when compared to some of the staff so my salary might have slid under the radar. Still, I felt really bad for those that were laid off. With the recent demise of several large law firms (Heller Ehrman, Thelen), that means the market is flooded with qualified legal professionals looking for work and with the current state of the economy, those that have been released have virtually nowhere to go. I've been trying to mentally prepare myself just in case I'm laid off so it won't be such a shock if that moment arrives.

After the lay-offs, I've been receiving rather strange looks from certain folks in the office. Since I read eyes rather well (A handed-down curse), I know they've been wondering why I the hand of fate hasn't touched me. The glare in their eyes said "It should have been you instead of them." Over the past Month, billable work has been all but non-existent, but I've managed to stay busy with other Administrative type projects. A couple of the people let go were far busier than myself (at least it appeared that way) so aside from having a meager salary comparatively, I've been wondering if there weren't ulterior reasons that I wasn't selected. Because I can bill and make the firm money? Because I'm one of the few minorities out of 60+ people and they're fulfilling some kind of quota? Because I'm the only male in the department? With the scowling looks I've gotten, I've even contemplated if I deserve to be employed over the ones let go. Then again, I do everything I'm supposed to do and more: I'm non-confrontational, never question my role and never complain about the crappy assignments I'm given even though they may be beneath me. I've been the ultimate Yes-man in my short tenure. As far as the job itself, I've never truly felt like I belonged. On a daily basis, MAYBE 3 people speak to me. In the halls, people would rather look at the floor and avoid eye contact than be cordial. Even worse, there's next to nobody that I can relate to. The one guy that I had something in common with (sports) left a few Months ago. The only guy I have anything in common with is the Custodian... and that's because he's real and I know where he's coming from.

Yahoo News:

Governor Schwarzenegger had plans to send layoff warnings to 20,000 state workers yesterday and shut down public works projects after budget negotiations failed again. A budget deal to cover the state's expected $41 billion shortfall through June 2010 has been stalled in the Legislature despite being 15 weeks overdue. The state (Ca.) unemployment rate is 9.3%. That means 1 out of almost every 10 people is unemployed. That figure has not been that high in nearly 15 years.

Facing the threat of running out of cash in weeks, state leaders have already halted funding for $3 billion in construction projects and delayed $3 billion in tax refunds, welfare checks and other payments. Some people will be issued IOU's instead of receiving their State Income Tax return.

The budget plan being worked on includes tax increases that raise the sales tax by 1 cent on the dollar, almost double the fee motorists pay to register their vehicles, raise gasoline excise taxes by 12 cents a gallon, and cut a tax credit for dependents by $200. It also tacks on a state tax surcharge of between 2.5 percent and 5 percent, depending on what the state gets from the federal stimulus package. END-

This all means BOHICA, California residents. Because of money mismanagement, poor gonvernmental appointments and bad investments amongst a plethora of other things, EVERYTHING is going up in price so in addition to the lay-offs, living in California will be virtually unaffordable... and good luck receiving your State Income Tax Return. Even though the state will offer 5% on the IOU's, there's no guarantee that the state will have the money to pay it. Funny how if you don't pay your State Income tax on time, it increases by 20%, but since they don't have the money, they only give 5%. "Only in America."

Anyway, back to the original question. Is there anything you do differently due to the collapsing economy?



Since I didn't get anything for Crapentine's Day, I decided to treat myself to a little gift.



It's a Blackberry Curve 8310 with Internet access. I'm still learning how to use the thing, but it's a nifty little device and it grants me internet usage when I'm at home. In addition, texting isn't such a chore as it was on my Mortorola Razor. Even though I have internet, it's NOTHING like using the internet on a Desktop or Laptop. Looking at TV.com, particularly my profile was hell since I'm prone to posting quite a few photos.

Initially, I was looking at a Broadband card for internet on-the-go until I found out what the price is per month. AT&T charges $60 for Broadband access!! They can keep it for that price.



New banner up! It's been a while since I changed it. It's the same hotties in different poses. From left to right, the lust of my life Leah Dizon:





Maria Ozawa





Kristin Kreuk



Alicia Keys- The Magazine is Uptown but I'd be going downtown on that.





Adriana Lima with the prettiest colored eyes I've ever seen on a woman.





and Rosario Dawson



I want to suck her lips so badly.



I like that.

To conclude, Good ol' Rafiki has SOMETHING he wants to show you.



Have a nice day!

Gotcha!

My last blog was the shortest I've ever composed. It illustrated succinctly my disdain for Valentine's day. It's not like me to say something and not give specifics and reasoning to support my opinion so without further adieu, MY 10 reasons WHY Valentine's Day sucks:

10. Nasty Assorted Chocolates- Let's face it. There's only 2 chocolates in those heart-shaped boxes that are any good. The rest is horrible tasting dirt with that colored nuget in the center gushing out when you take a bite. I don't know about you, but the thought of creamy nuget gushing into my mouth is unsettling.



"Slimy and not satisfying."



9. The REAL reason behind Valentine's Day- Nothing like celebrating a decapitation to put you in the mood for love. Sure, the symbolism behind the day might be a tad romantic, but what guy with half a brain is going to risk getting turned into a Pez Dispenser for a little nookie? No guy I know. "HASSAN CHOP!"



8. Valentine's Day is usually one-sided- I'm actually one of the fortunate few that used to get really cool gifts for V-day when I was in College, but for the average Joe, it's all for her and none for him. Face it guys, when was the last time YOU got a gold necklace for V-day? Someone needs to make Steak and "Bee Jay" day into a National Hallmark Holiday for the fellas. Imagine sitting on your keester with a good game on in front of you, downing a thick, juicy steak and partaking in a fleeting moment of oral servitude. Doesn't get any better than that.



March 14th, Ladies. Mark it on your Calendars.

7. It's right after Christmas- Hell, we haven't even fully recovered from Christmas and now we're expected to spend more? Oye! The day after New Years Day, Walmart had an entire section devoted to Valentine's Day. Let people catch their collective breath first!



6. Selecting Greeting Cards- It's a painstaking chore to select the perfect greeting card that's indicative of the way you feel and your relationship. "I love you and can't live without you." Nope, too pussified. "You complete me..." Nope, too strong. "I need your love..." Nope, I just like having sex with her. What about people that have been in relationships for 20+ years that stay out of convenience? How about:





5. Buying Flowers- Personally, I loathe purchasing flowers with great passion. They die after a week and then make such a mess! What a waste of money! How about something with longevity like a DVD, Video game or nice Tool set?



4. Commercialism and Guilt trip- I get tired of hearing Jewelry dealers and advertisers making me feel like I'm not doing or spending enough, no matter what it is. Even worse, if you don't have the funds to go out and splurge on your significant other, the advertisers make you feel like a heel.



3. 1-upsmanship- Ladies, you KNOW what I'm talking about. The girl with the most stuff wins. It becomes a contest to see who's man has the most money to buy the most crap to put you on that emotional pedestal in front of your peers. Anyone that works in an office setting has bared witness. Some goofy-looking guy in a costume shows up with with Balloons, Teddy Bears and Candy in a Yogi Bear Picnic basket... I've known of some women buying and having their own flowers delivered to the office just to look important to everyone else.



2. Isolation- If you have that special someone to share the day with it's fine, but if you don't or worse, you were just dumped, this day makes you feel like jumping off a bridge and stabbing yourself on the way down.



1. It's a Hallmark Holiday- That means it's not a REAL Holiday. All it means is "Buy our merchandise so we can get rich off you."



Do any of you have big plans to waste money, ERRR for Valentine's Day? Just remember, a man was decapitated just so you can chow down on candy and sniff flowers that will die in a week. Remember the man that paid for your avarice with his life.



Who ever would have thought that THIS MAN was a Prophet?



That's the Nostradamus of Baseball. Yes, that's Jose Canseco. Years ago, he predicted the fall of Baseball's greatest heroes by fingering several players that were using performance enhancing drugs. Well, he should have knowledge since he personally stuck the needle in some of their backsides. It's unfathomable that this guy would have an ounce of credibility, but so far, ALL of his predictions have come true. I never thought A-Roid would end up being a juicer. Still, even though Canseco might be telling the truth, he's a Rat... and everyone hates a Rat.



Quick question: Who do you think is better?

The King


or the Mamba?


In the waning seconds of a game, I know who I'd rather have shooting the ball, that's for sure.









Dollhouse had better be good for me to continue missing Smackdown. People are making such a HUGE deal about this show... and how can you resist the captivating Eliza Dushku? There's something about that woman. The beautiful smile, the sultry look, the deliciously flat tummy... The more she smiles, the more attractive she becomes. Almost the opposite of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Not only is she very pretty, she's very sexy... and the dimples. Oh, the dimples! If she had green eyes, she'd be in my banner...













That's all it'll take for me to watch the show.

That is all.

Before I get to the TV portion, something has been on my mind the last couple of weeks. Most of the nonsensical TOS violations I've received in the past haven't really phased me other than the Burn Notice incident. My latest violation, #36 (I think I have more than wounds now) which was a week ago in the Smallville forum is starting to irk me the more I think about it. I made a subtle sexual reference in light-hearted fun and got TOS'ed for it. They said it was "offensive." Keep in mind that this was on the heels of going into the Technical Support Board and asking if I could delete my Gamespot account while keeping my TV.com account intact. At any rate...

Some Smallville poster said this: Heck, what red-blooded male wouldn't want to kiss the beautiful Kristin Kreuk. You guys envious? You gals jealous?

I responded with: Envious? You're darn right I'm envious (see my banner). I'd want to more than just kiss her. If that woman were mine, I would go down on her, wipe my mouth with my sleeve, resurface with puppy dog eyes and my palm open and say, "Please, ma'am. May I have another?" (Insert Smiley face)

I thought it was funny. *shrugs*

I went on to say the following:

Seriously, the issue people have with the Lana and Clark kiss is going backwards in time. In "Bride" Lana finally told Clark that perhaps they weren't meant to be. One of them had the gumption to admit that what they had wasn't working. In addition, it seemed like that episode finally provided us the closure we craved in their relationship. We figured Clark could stop fawning over Lana, he would put that relationship behind him and move on (to Lois). Most fans were hoping Lana would simply vanish into the night afterwards. Instead, Lana remains on the show for a 'limited time only' and puts the kabash on any kind of chemistry (if any) that Clois was building... and that kiss was FAR from reminiscent. That kiss was drop trow (trousers) and screw each other's brains out... and that leads to Clana all over again. That's something very few of us want to see.

I don't see what's so offensive about that. There's no vulgarity, no swearing and no morbidly graphic details. It's offensive to myself if anything for wanting to muff dive into Kristen who I think is a beautiful, young woman. It wasn't graphically detailed and it's not in reference to anyone else. Aside from making myself look foolish, what's so offensive? After the joke, I even went on to say "Seriously" in reference to the frivolity of the previous statement and adhere to the topic at hand using specifics and examples to support my post. This looks like an example of "We can (take action) just to show it can and will be done." and that's a direct quote coming from a Moderator.

If I was a spammer or someone that was notorious for coming onto forums just to shake things up and get a reaction, I would understand, but for the most part, since I've signed up several years ago, I've earned a reputation for making sense and my posts have been thought-out and articulate. At the very worst, I've hovered over the thin line of blasphemy by posting nigh risque photos of scantily-clad celebrities. I've even been accused of flaunting my education because of the vocabulary words I use. Other than that, I don't flame or troll and have been an advocate of keeping the peace. So many times, I've been a proponent of "Let's agree to disagree and leave it at that." instead of arguing and disrupting forum integrity. Like my buddy Crzy_gurl, I'm sick to death of the ticky-tack TOS violations around here. There's so much obvious overlooked nonsense that goes on around here yet certain individuals have chosen me to screw with. If I get another TOS for any reason what-so-ever, I will abandon this account. I'm 36 years old. I don't need some precocious upstart acting as a cyber chaperone watching my every move and telling me what I can and can't say. Besides, very few things I've posted have actually offended anyone, if any. You should see what you can get away with saying over at HULU.



Now that I've gotten that off my chest, do you think you watch too much TV? I sure do. I can't even keep track of my shows anymore and my DVR is completely full. Here is a list of the shows I currently watch:

Monday:

WWE RAW- I've watched WWE for years and continue to get a kick out of it. I haven't watched as closely and religiously as I have in the past though. There are too many other shows that take precedence.


Heroes- This show is a geek's dream. You get to live vicariously through ordinary people that discover they have abilities.


24- What's not to like about the resourceful Jack Bauer? Sure, it's sometimes far-fetched and stereotypically brutal since it's obvious that all Middle Easterners are terrorists, All Africans are warlords and all Colombians are affiliated with the Cartel... and we can't forgot about those Russians and their nuclear terrorsim. Even with the unrealistic action and over dramatized situations, it's entertainment at its finest.


Tuesday:

American Idol- Thanks to a certain lady friend, I've become a big-time fan. I can't miss an episode.


...and the new judge, Kara might be trying a bit too hard to fit in, but she's a definite hottie.


Fringe- One of the new shows I've been watching. Very strange at times, but entertaining and thought-provoking.


ECW- The junior brand of WWE Wrestling. Less talk and more action is a good thing.


Wednesday:

LOST: Even though this show is all over the place, I can't get enough of it. The less sense it makes, the better it is... and this show is the master of the paradox.


Knight Rider: I'm probably one of the very few but I love this show! Fast cars, faster women and plenty of action. It's one of those 'leave your brain at the door' shows because if you over analyze the plot, you'll ruin the experience... and KITT should NOT be transforming into a Truck.


American Idol (again)- Hey, it comes on twice a week... and just because I can, the lovely Kara.


Thursday:

Smallville- This show is a MUST for any fan of Superman. This season has been pretty good even though they pile on the drama a smidge too thick.


CSI- Even with Sara's departure, Warrick's death and Grissom's exit, the show is still worth watching and Fishburne has stepped in with some pretty good performances. I'm glad they didn't try to replace Grissom's character on the show with Fishburne. That would have been a colossal mistake.


EDIT:
Burn Notice- I totally forgot about this show and it's one of the best on TV! I originally thought this show wouldn't last and boy was I wrong! Action, excitement, drama, hot guys, hot chicks, espionage, fast cars... What more could you ask for in a show? Nudity perhaps?


...and I just had to include a pic of cutie pie, Gabrielle Anwar. I would let her kick my ass anyday... and afterwards, I'll watch her eat a cup of yogurt.


Friday:

Friday Night Lights- This show takes me back to my High School days. Vicarious living and all. What's not to like?


...and you know that I had to showcase one of the prettiest babes on television, Minka Kelly.


I'm also feeling Adrianne Palicki who plays Tyra even though her character is a bit annoying. I hate the fact that she treats Landry like crap. Other than that, she's so tall... in a good way. I'd love to scale her and stake my claim when I get to the top. "I claim Tyra in the name of Sylent!" *Sticks flag into her head*


Star Wars: Clone Wars- Great animated show! Any fan of Star Wars MUST tune to have their geek quota fulfilled... and Lair of Grevious is a MUST SEE!


Batman: Brave and the Bold- Not a bad show, but if you're a fan of the Bruce Timm Batman, this show might rub you the wrong way. It's supposed to be a Homage to the Golden Age Batman of the 50's and 60's; this was before he became a dark, brooding creature of the night. The team-up concept works rather well once you get used to it.


WWE Smackdown- I wish they hadn't changed the time. Since I have Dish Network, the show starts an hour early and it conflicts with my other shows so I can only catch the second hour.


Whew! That's certainly too much TV. What do you watch? Do we have any shows in common?



Since I'll probably get a TOS for speaking my mind on the subject, I'll paste a response for "25 Random things about me" that I responded to in Facebook. It'll probably be the last time I post here if the past is any indication.



1. My name is Swahili and it means Faith. The name is both masculine and feminine like Terry, Bobby and Leslie.

2. I am 100% Black (African-American). Everyone thinks I'm mixed with either White or Latino. My Grandparents (on both sides) are Native American hybrids.

3. I'm a Motorcycle rider. I have my M1 License and will (hopefully) be getting a Cruiser soon. I'm too tall for Crotch Rocket bikes.

4. I do all my own laundry. My Mom is a bleach freak and would ruin my attire.

5. I can proudly say that I've NEVER smoked or tried any recreational drugs. I've never been high or drunk (I didn't say buzzed ;o) ). "My only addiction has to do with the female species, I eat em' raw like sushi." -Gerrardo

6. I'm almost obsessed with Vocabulary. If I ever hear a word I don't know the definition of, I rush to my dictionary to look it up. Ignorance is NOT bliss and stupidity is optional.

7. I'm lactose intolerant and freak my friends out whenever I eat cereal with WATER. Yes, I said WATER.

8. Butter and Margarine makes me gag. I can't eat either one... on anything.

9. I have 18 pairs of shoes and over 30 jackets.

10. I collect coins and comic books. My oldest coin is a Silver Dollar from 1892 and my oldest comic is a Green Lantern from the late 70's.

11. I'm attracted to petite brunettes with green eyes and dimples (Adriana Lima, Evangeline Lily, Kristin Kreuk).

12. When I was in College, I dated 3 different Girls simultaneously. It was fun but nerve-racking.

13. I once dated a girl that didn't speak any English. It only lasted a couple of weeks, but man, she was HOT!

14. I have an unhealthy obsession with (Filipino/White) Import Model Leah Dizon. She's HOT!

15. It annoys me to no end when people abbreviate simple words or can't spell. If I see something with abysmal grammar and multiple misspellings, I'll stop reading. We have Spell Check for a reason!

16. I used to be an avid gamer. I own 8 Video game systems. (Atari 2600, Original Pong, PS1, PS2, SNES, N64, NDS, Wii) PS3 coming soon.

17. I'm a SF 49ers, SF Giants and Los Angeles Lakers fan. *Chappelle's voice* "Kobe!"

18. I participate in Fantasy Football every year. I was the league champion last year (in S&V). Too bad I got my butt kicked in my own league.

19. I find excessive tattoos hideously unattractive. I view the female body as a sacred temple and multiple tattoos and piercing is tagging and graffiti.

20. I think French Pedicures are one of the sexiest things women can do to enhance their appearance. Women with crusty heels and toes nauseate me.

21. I fear losing my eyesight. I'd probably kill myself if I did.

22. I've had Six root canals and 3 teeth (two wisdom) extractions. I'm a "Yuck Mouth."

23. I believe in Karma. I believe when you perform good deeds, good things will be returned to you.

24. I've never had a One Night Stand. I've had SEVERAL opportunities, but chickened out because I was either afraid someone would find out or the chick had a big mouth and couldn't keep it on the DL. In retrospect, I kind of regret it.

25. In my younger days, my Mom caught an ex-girlfriend performing a *ahem* physical act of an oral nature on me. =oD I accidentally left the door cracked while she was vacuuming the hall. She hit the door with the vacuum and the door flew open. She didn't say anything, but slammed the door closed. I got the evil eye for a week. Good thing my ex took that solemn advice: Don't talk with your mouth full. ;o)

Have a nice day! I won't be tagging anyone else. It's just for fun.

EDIT II: I just had to include this:



The Lakers beat the Celtics in Overtime! Now if I can only find a little Phoenyx.

Something that's actually about TV.

First, Happy Groundhog day!



I wonder if it was intentional for his shadow to appear a smidge phallic. Oh well.

Next, the big game lived up to all the hype. It was one of the best Superbowls ever. It was too bad the referees pretty much decided the outcome of the game and BOHICA'ed the Cardinals in the process. WHY the hell wasn't that fumble by Warner reviewed? Inside of 2 minutes, that is an AUTOMATICALLY reviewable play. Tuck Rule 2, anyone?



By the way, does anyone think Mike Tomlin looks a lot like Omar Epps from House?



Separated at birth?

Did anyone notice the MANY close-ups of Kurt Warner's wife throughout the game. I must say the overhaul she had done made her look fantastic. Not to be mean, but she used to look like a butch with the spiked hair.





However now, she looks very attractive; almost MILFish... and I think she had a breast augmentation with the renovation... and I can't be mad at her. She looks good... and not to rain on anyone's parade, but sometimes hair can make a HUGE difference between HOT and MEH. Just look at Allison Mack. With the right hairdo, she can look amazing.



Anyway, back to football. For the people always comparing players:

>

Fitzgerarld is good, but he is no Jerry Rice. Anyway, I didn't want to spend too much time posting about the game. I wanted to spend time posting about the REAL highlight of the day. The COMMERCIALS. There were a few that were okay, but as a whole, they weren't that good and DIDN'T live up to the hype.

What was this obsession with the Horses? Clydesdales are cool and all but seeing them in every other commercial break was overkill. Save the Horses for the Budweiser Christmas commercials... and who did Conan O'Brien sleep with to garner so many plugs? Seriously! He hasn't been funny since Andy left back in the late 90's. By the way, did anyone notice all the HULU advertisements? TV.com has their work cut out for them.

A notable commercial was the GoDaddy.com spot with Danica Patrick. Danica is a nice-looking girl and certainly more attractive than the average woman, but she seems to get too much publicity for being barely better-looking than average. Don't get me wrong! If she approached me at a club and gave me half a chance, I would hit that.



Danica's hair looked amazing in that spot. Give me that, green eyes and dimples and I'll be your slave forever.

It was kind of cool to see MC Hammer and Ed McMahon selling all their Gold in the Cash4Gold commercial. Hammer used to be my hero. "You can't touch this!"

I was disappointed in the MacGuyver parody spot. The REAL MacGuyver would be rolling in his grave.

At any rate, here are the best 3 commercials for the event:

3. Coke Zero with Troy Polamalu ripping the shirt off the executive. I thought it was a cool Homage to the Mean Joe Green spot from several decades ago.

2. Jack impaled by a City bus. You can check HERE to see how Jack's doing. I'm probably one of the few that remembers when they killed him the first time. For those that weren't alive, they blew him up. He was sacrificed so people would have a better menu. I KNOW for a fact that two people remember this. You KNOW who you are.

1. Careerbuilder.com's "Do you hate your job?" Punching small animals in the face FOR THE WIN! Do you hate your job? *screams* Your co-workers don't respect you? "Hey Dummy." You always wish you were somewhere else, you cry constantly and daydream of punching small animals..." *SOCK* "It may be time." I love it!



One cool thing about the big dance was the movie trailers. I can't wait for that new Fast & Furious movie. There is something about that Jordana Brewster that makes me want to carry her over the Threshold, rip her clothes off, tongue her down and have my way with her.





Glad she nixed the unibrow she had earlier in her career. I would still drink her bath water just to absorb her essence.

The GI JOE trailer was also seen along with Optimus Prime getting b_t_h slapped by some robot in the Transformers 2 preview. Was that Metroplex or Devastator? In any case, that delicious Megan Fox is back!



and then there's the Star Trek trailer. Sylar is Spock baby! (and Heroes is on tonight!)



Are there any Superbowl moments that stood out to you? What were they? What kind of party did you have? Have you punched any small animals lately? Are you celebrating the Steelers win by going to DISNEYLAND? "I wanna ride the kiddie rides!" Inquiring minds want to know.

"HAVE I GIVEN YOU ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT?"

Oh! Here's something else for you:



I guess a kid will be a kid.

First, I would like to say "Happy New Year" to my Asian brethren.



It's the year of the Ox.



I was born the year of the Rat.



Something was bothering me over the weekend and I've been wrestling with myself (figuratively) because of the way I feel. My fiance's Mother was sick and Hospitalized on Friday due to hypertension (abnormally high Blood pressure). Of course, this was a weekend that we had something planned and had to cancel. While I don't want to see anything bad happen to her Mother, I had a hard time showing symapthy for someone that 1. hates my guts and 2. did everything in their power to sabotage our relationship. The only reason I wished her Mother well was because I don't want to see my fiance in pain. I couldn't help feeling like an arse, but I have a hard time giving a damn about someone that doesn't give a damn about me and thinks of me as "less than." Does that make me a bad person? I can't help feeling like a heel.



As for the title of this blog, "35," it's because I received my 35th TOS warning from LAMEspot of all sites. Lately, I've been behaving. I've been refraining from posting risque photos which had a tendency to get me into trouble, my signature is well within the allotted dimensions and I'm not one that flames or trolls, but a LAMEspot moderator issued me a TOS for posting this in someone's blog:

I wrote:

This is why I rarely use Gamespot. They have 16 year old kids masquerading as Moderators that don't thoroughly review the violations. To add, they aren't objective. The only thing you can do is tread lightly and try to stay under the radar.

Again, this was in a blog, not on a forum. The LAMEspot moderator said I was trolling. Seriously? First, they shouldn't have jurisdiction over my account as I don't use LAMEspot. The comment was posted from Movietome. Secondly, this was in a blog, not a forum where you can pretty much post whatever you want as long as it doesn't annoy the blogger, which it didn't. In addition, this particular blogger was complaining about they way Lamespot moderates. Hmm... What a coincidence? Furthermore, I wasn't referring to a specific person and I didn't single anyone out so UNLESS there's someone out there in Lamespot land behaving like a 16 year old, there's nothing to raise an eyebrow at. My remark must have hit close to home. I discussed this issue with a few TV.com moderators HERE if you would like to review the correspondence. They were fair enough to offer me an explanation although I would still like an apology issued and the TOS withdrawn. At the very least, this is ticky-tack (a sports reference relating to a bad call), vindictive and issued out of spite. Even one of the moderators said they wouldn't have issued a warning for this. It's ridiculous on what you can receive violations for. I defy this mod to post here and defend their position.



With the start of Friday Night Lights, I decided to give a little tribute to one of the prettiest girls on television, Minka Kelly.







Most girls say this guy looks ruggedly handsome so also on FNL, Taylor Kitsch aka Tim Riggins. A guy that plays a stereotypical beer-swigging jock.







Have a nice day and keep your hands where I can see em'.

Choosing


over



Where do you rate on the EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM?



"You have the Power to overcome fear. You can do anything as long as your will is strong enough. "

To lighten the mood, my current favorite COMMERCIAL. Every time I see that, it cracks me up!



Monday was fun.(sarcasm) I had to take my Rice rocket Honda to Midas because there was a grinding noise whenever I applied the brakes. After the inspection that took an hour and a half, the service guy told me that my rotors needed to be replaced in addition to new brake pads. This was going to cost $250. I told the guy, "How does this happen? The car never goes anywhere aside from the train station which is 7 miles away and I just bought brake pads 6 months ago! That's not enough time or usage to warrant this type of wear. The rotors should ONLY wear down IF the pads wear down to the rotors and that never happened!" All the guy could say is, "These things happen." I stood there arguing with the guy for 5 minutes and was ready to pounce on this guy for trying to overcharge me for crap that I didn't need. Ultimately, I told the guy to replace the rotors and sand down the brake pads. This cost $100 less. I then presented him a coupon to save a tad more. He wasn't too happy about that. This fat bastard acted like the money was coming out of his pocket! You should have seen this guy. He was short and had one of the largest beer guts I've ever seen. He looked like he was eight months pregnant. For some reason, I almost always have problems with fat people in customer service. I think they're jealous of my height or something.

On Tuesday, I was one of the few that was late in viewing the Inauguration ceremony because I was at work. They had coverage in our cafe and one of the conference rooms, but I really don't feel comfortable around these people, plus I wasn't in a sociable mood. On the way to work, my other commuter car stopped on me not once but TWICE. The dreaded "Check Engine" light came on and the car started sputtering so I had to pull over to the shoulder.



Typically, when this happens, I'll pull over, power down the engine and restart it and car's computer will reset itself normally. Well, these last couple of times, the car didn't want to start so I had to, switch on the hazard lights and sit there for a few moments while my car collected itself. In the meantime, people are honking at me to move. Like I WANT to sit there. I've tried rectifying this issue SEVERAL times by taking it to a local mechanic, but since the car is so old (1990)



it doesn't issue a "code" so the diagnostic machine can discern the particular issue. I've tried several different fixes to no avail and I refuse to pump more money into the car unless this specific problem is isolated. I refuse to pull a House M.D. and try to guess the remedy by making other things worse. I called the Honda dealership since they have a promotion where if you have a "Check Engine" issue, they'll diagnose it for free, but the service representative told me the light has to be on when I bring it in. Well, there's the problem. It doesn't occur all the time and even if I brought it in with the light on, it resets itself and goes out if the engine is turned off. The representative went on to tell me that since my car is so old, their diagnostic machine wouldn't receive a code so he pretty much told me I'm S.O.L..

At any rate, when I finally got to work, I couldn't remove my key from the ignition. I use this vehicle to commute back and forth to work and sits in an unsupervised parking lot with poor lighting at night and on the weekends. It has been vandalized several times over the years and apparently, some jackass tried to hotwire it with a screwdriver (or some small instrument) and wrecked the keyhole so every now and then, I'll have difficulty taking the key out of the ignition. After 10 minutes of yanking and wrestling with the key, it finally came out. Joy. Now I get to go to work.

When I finally got home that evening, I watched the Presidential Inauguration (via DVR). I never thought I would live to see the day where someone of color would occupy the White House. In addition, during the whole election, people have been playing up to race far too much and seem to be conveniently forgetting that Obama is half White. Still, I'm glad we finally have someone in the White House that is intelligent enough to properly represent the country.



I found Obama's acceptance speech after he won the vote for the Presidency more enthralling and captivating than his Inauguration speech. Still, it was truly an historic event worthy of the worldwide publicity, but the media made it seem more like a massive scale block party or a celebrity hosted event like the Grammy's... and the coverage of the ball afterwards seemed more like a celebrity soiree than anything else. I grew tired of the worthless celebrity coverage and talking heads and ended up changing the channel. I just hope I didn't miss anything significant that the newspapers didn't cover.

I really hope Obama is up to the task ahead of him because we as a nation are going to need a healthy amount of hope to overcome the fear of the economic collapse and to weather the storm of trying times ahead. I read some comments on Foxnews.net and was amazed at some of the nonsense posted by people with seemingly reasonable intelligence. More stupidity on Socialism, free welfare checks, opening the boarders, consorting with terrorists... It just gets old. Sour grapes, I suppose. I bet half these people don't even know what Socialism really is. They're just saying it because they heard someone recycle it. These neanderthals would rather see the President fail and the country plunge into a depression than a restoration and renewal. It's mind-boggling. Hell, if you could support Bush, a guy with the IQ of a Chimp, you can support Obama, not for the sake of supporting someone or remaining loyal to a political party, but for the sake of the country... You may not respect the man, but you will respect the title. Hail to the Chief!





To return to the lighter side of blogging, I haven't objectified pretty women in a while so it's high time I start. This list will be for the SEXIEST female celebrities. There's a difference between HOT and SEXY, at least for me. There are some women that I find really SEXY, but not very HOT. Some women just have a natural sex appeal, charm and charisma that makes them attractive when they really aren't. Anyway, without further adieu...

10. Eva Longoria- While she's very cute, she's also very sexy. She might be even more sexy if she would indulge in a Steak dinner every now and then. She seems to be getting skinnier by the day.



9. Angelina Jolie- While I don't think she's hot by any stretch, she is amazingly sexy. She has the eyes that would make you do something you don't want to do like cheat on your wife. If you work with someone that looks like her, look out!



8. Eva Mendez- While she definitely looks good, she oozes sex appeal and has a terrific body to go with it. The privilege of gandering at her *ahem* assets is worth the price of Training Day alone.



7. Denise Richards- She's always been a sex symbol, even before that garbage reality show that made her look like a complete idiot. The legs on this woman are something to drool over, but her everlasting sex appeal with those sultry facial expressions are what really gets my rocks off.



6. Kiera Knightley- She has a soft sexiness about her. Not "I want to sleep with you" sexy, well... yes I do, but "I want to take you home, empty out my savings account and move to the Virgin Islands with you" sexy.



5. Megan Fox- While she's hot, she's also incredibly sexy. The first time I saw her in Transformers, I said, "Wow!" and my fiance hit me. She should have never asked, "Do you think she's pretty?" I don't know why women do that. Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.



4. Catherine Zeta Jones- There is just something in this woman's eyes that expels sexy. She was amazing in the Zorro movies (that I watched for the first time a couple of weeks ago). While she's not the prettiest woman in the world, she is definitely one of the most sexy.



3. Stacy Ann Ferguson (Fergie)- G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S pretty much says it all. While she has a bit of a butter-face, she has the body of a Goddess and emanates sex appeal like no other pop artist. She's sexy, she knows it and shows it.



2. Mila Jovovich- In just about every movie she's in, she's beyond sexy. The light eyes, the milky-white skin, the long legs... You can nearly imagine smelling her sweet perfume when you look at her photo.





1. Rosario Dawson- The babe in my banner. While she's not amazingly hot, she's exotically attractive and has a sexy air about her. When you look at her picture, you can almost hear her breathing that sexy, euphoric sigh... and those lips... Oh, those lips. Makes you want to lic-lic-lic-lic them like a lollipop.





Have a nice day!

Jack is back, baby! Bauer Power! While 24 doesn't have the "umph" as it once did because of the writer's strike, it should still be an entertaining season. It's funny how nobody has to go to the bathroom in 24 hours. It's no wonder everyone is so stressed.



For those that are 24 fans, I just knew Tony Almeida couldn't be a terrorist. It's too bad they can return his hottie wife, Michelle Dessler from the grave.



It promises to be an action-packed, entertaining season.

As most know, American Idol started up again last night with an inaugural entertaining episode.



Because of a lady friend of mine forcing me to watch the show, I've become hooked, addicted and will go into shock if I miss an episode. It's painfully scripted in spots, but for the most part, it's entertaining and I like to see good things happen to good people and a-holes with attitudes get crapped on.

This season heralds the presence of a new judge, songwriter Kara DioGuardi. Not only can she sing, she's very attractive and very hittable... at least I would.



I believe she was brought in to balance the genders between the judges and take the focus off Paula Abdul and her on-screen freudian slips and mishaps. At first, I was against the idea of bringing her in, but she seems to have blended in well.

Before anyone questions my manhood for watching A.I., let me say that in addition to watching to scope out talented singers, that show features some of the most beautiful women on the planet. Last night, there was a very pretty girl titled "bikini girl" for wearing a bikini on the show.



Not much body, but she's very cute and she looks mixed... and as everyone knows, I LOVE mixed women. There was additionally a very pretty Cowgirl in pink who didn't have a good enough voice, but was entertaining. The dirty old man in me was checking her out when I shouldn't have been and rooting for her to make it to Hollywood so I could secretly ogle at her hotness.



A girl from a few years ago, Antonella Barba is one of the prettiest women I've ever seen on that show.



I would drink her bath water. It's too bad she won't be getting a career in the Adult industry. I'd sure love to see her *ahem* assets. Speaking of the Adult industry... (nice segue if I do say so myself) Over the weekend, I went to the A.V.N. convention in Las Vegas with some friends.

Since just about everyone already knows what my ugly mug looks like, here are a few photos with various stars from the show:

Me and the lovely Angels.


Me with one of my favorite *ahem* stars, Sasha Grey.


Me and the scrumptious Asa Akira.


Me with the lovely Katsuni.


I had an absolute BLAST at the show rockin' my 49ers Jerry Rice jersey. Just about everyone was outrageously cool and willing to take pictures. One random hot chick walked up to me and said, "Yeah! A 49ers fan! Can I have a hug?" I said, "Sure!" and she hugged me. She then asked, "Can I have a kiss too?" I said, "Ummmm..." and before I could answer, she grabbed the back of my head and planted a BIG kiss on me! My friend who was a Cowboys fan said, "The 49ers suck and that was Bulls__t!" I just love getting all the attention. I had an ear to ear smile on my grill for the remainder of the day... after I wiped my mouth with Isopropyl Alcohol, Turpentine and Gasoline, of course. I don't know where her mouth was before that.

I took over 150 photos with various *ahem* stars including Tera Patrick, Jesse Jane, Briana Banks, Jada Fire, Amber Rayne and so many more! If anyone is interested, I can have Rafiki post a link to some of the photos. Oh! I saw the Godfather from WWE at the show!! He had a red pimp hat on and a black shirt just like this:



That dude is HUGE! He made me look small! Imagine that! I regret not flagging him down and taking a pic with him.

Later on that night, we went to a Gentlemen's Club called Sapphire. If you're a guy that enjoys an occasional trip to a Gentlemen's club and if you're in Las Vegas, you MUST go to Sapphire. One word: Wow! Two stories of hotties is heaven, although the music left a bit to be desired.

All of the women that I had the pleasure of *ahem* conversing with ( ) were of mixed nationalities... and everyone knows how I LOVE mixed hotties. One was Japanese, White and Black, another was Black and Mexican and another was Filipino and Black and they all were hotter than hell. If you've never had a lapdance, you're missing out on life's greater pleasures. Immerse yourself, pay the $20 and let go... An unfamiliar hottie grinding her stuff in your lap to the music and pushing her boobs in your face is something every guy should experience at least once. I think the perfume they wear has female pheromones in it because it's entrancing... and the subtle glitter they wear on their body reflecting the dim blues and purples of the club is mesmerizing... just like that watch on the chain that quack Doctors used to hypnotize folks in the old days, you too would be spellbound.



The strip club scene is pretty funny. All of the dancers try to get you to go with them to the VIP room where they CLAIM to do A LOT more for a bit more money. Please! I was tempted, but not stupid.

Being a dancer has got to be tough when you consider that they have to deal with drunken fools that try to take the fantasy aspect too far. One dude that we happened to sit with at the club told us a story of how he had sex with a stripper for free... and this guy was dead serious. I can see how people become addicted to the clubs. Aside from winning the lottery, it's almost your greatest fantasy come true. Other than the horrid cigarette smoke and the pulsing, headache-generating house music, it's nigh euphoric. If they made a drug called "Strip Club," I'd probably be addicted.

Oh! My good deed for today is this little morsel: STAY AWAY from Club Sheri in Vegas. It sucks. Before I further incriminate myself, I'll end here. Have a nice day and watch American Idol!

With this being my first blog of the year, I thought I would inform those that don't know before I post any further. I (still) don't have Internet at home so most of my posting is done with my free time at work. This means I don't log in on the weekends or at night. This would additionally answer why I don't periodically post on other user's blogs. It's not that I'm ignoring or avoiding anyone... and thanks to TV.com's new site update, I can't seen anyone's blogs past the four latest. Anyway, I haven't gotten an ISP as it costs too damn much. I haven't had it for two years now and I haven't really missed it.

If anyone has any inexpensive ISP suggestions, I'm open. Currently, I'm looking at AT&T's High Speed $14.99 per month "No committment" plan.



As for the topic of this blog, I heard a local radio station playing a game with callers a few days ago. The local DJ would say, "It's the year 2009, if "___(blank)___" disappeared, the year would be fine. The callers would fill in the blank with people that they're sick of or hate with a passion. There's quite a few people that I would be ecstatic if they vanished (celebrities or otherwise) from existence. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton all go without saying. Still...

It's the year 2009 and if:

Lil Wayne disappeared, the year would be fine- I really don't know what makes him so popular. I rarely understand what the hell that guy is rapping about. He raps like he's on acid and downers.


Beyonce Knowles- Sure, she's gorgeous, but suffering from overexposure just like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez a few years back. To add, I HATE her music. She can take that empowerment crap "to the left, to the left" and pay her own damn bills.


Will Ferrell- He was in just about every other slapstick comedy of 2008. I don't think he's funny at all. He's more over the top than anything and venturing into Jim Carrey territory.


Brangelina- Seriously. I'm just sick of seeing their faces plastered on every celebrity magazine and entertainment show. Are they really that noteworthy? How many children can they adopt? There should be a limit.


Miley Cyrus- I feel like a dirty old man for checking her out, but she's a cute, young girl. It should be considered a crime for what she charges for her Hanna Montana shows. Maybe she wouldn't be in the news so much if she kept her pants on.


George Steinbrenner and The New York Yankees- What's left for this guy to buy? Souls? He's single-handedly dried up the majors by dangling a golden carrot in front of all the best players. So much for balance and the small-market teams.


Pac-Man Jones- The next time I see his face on ESPN, it'll be too soon... and usually for some crime that him or his moronic posse committed.


Brett Favre- He just needs to retire already. Even though it's the off-season for him, he's STILL throwing interceptions.


My PMS'ing Co-worker- Have you ever worked with someone that went out of their way to make things difficult? To call this woman a bytch would be an understatement. She's passed bytchville and ventured into the land of Cee U Next TueSday. It's been a long time since I've wanted to punch someone in the nose as hard as I can and at this point, I would almost pay someone to do it. This woman is an emotional wreck and allows her cycles adversely affect her moods. In the office, people are constantly talking about her behind her back and refuse to work with her. I understand if you're having a bad day, but every day?!? Hell, for me every day is a bad day since I 'wakey-wakey eggs and bakey' at 4:30am, but be professional and act like you've been there for crying out loud! Is that too much to ask? It's sad too because she's a very attractive woman. Still, If a piano fell from the sky and imapled her, I think I would orgasm in my pants.


My Fiance's family- If I could open up a temporal wormhole, I would push them all into it. The unnecessary drama they cause in our relationship can only be rivaled by the scripted garbage on Reality Tv. I don't want to kill them, but I wish they would all just go away.


That's not really her family for the record. I have more respect than that. Anyway, in the year 2009, if all those people disappeared, my life would be just fine. Is there anyone out there that would make you happy if they just disappeared?

...and I'm sure you're wondering, "Why the Red Lantern?" Well, the Red Lantern's modus operandi is RAGE and HATE. Kind of apropos for this blog.

First, for those of you that haven't picked up a 2009 Calendar, you can go to your local Dollar Tree (or .99 store) and pick up a nice Calendar at a great price. Of course, it'll be nothing like this:



Hee hee! Even without the hotties, the Dollar tree offers something practical and visually stimulating. I love scenic landscape calendars and for a measley dollar, you can't go wrong. The Sunset and National Park calendars are my favorites. I know for a fact that this year's National Park calendar has some lovely photos.



My good deed for the day.

I'm convinced that everything in the Dollar Tree is stolen. How else could everything be so cheap? (RHETORICAL JOKE!! Before someone gives me a lengthy explanation. )





So... Did anyone get anything brag-worthy for Christmas? Although Leah Dizon never showed up gift-wrapped and I didn't get that PS3 or Lexus, I got a few things I could use around the House, but nothing big. It's funny how I receive fewer and fewer gifts every year. Guess I'm just not as popular as I once was. I DID get one thing I wanted for Christmas:



The Lakers beat the Celtics!! In addition, the San Francisco Giants signed Randy Johnson to a 1-year deal! Also, it was good to see the Cowboys get spanked by the Eagles since Romo ruined my fantasy team. Good sports gifts!

For Christmas, my fiance gave me a pretty healthy sum of money. There wasn't much thought behind it and zero element of surprise, but never look a gift horse in the mouth, right? Still, I'm very appreciative. What should I treat myself to?

The PS3?


The new Blackberry Storm?


Internet Service? Video Games? A portable Hard drive? DVD's?

This money is burning a hole in my pocket and I have to get rid of it... and no! I'm not giving it to you.

For a brief update, I decided to get my fiance the Earrings instead of the Victoria's Secret giftcard. I deduced that the giftcard was a thoughtless, lazy gift. Additionally, I had purchased a giftcard for her last year. The Earrings showed initiative, a bit of a thought process and planning... and most of the women I asked pointed in that direction. Plus, the Earrings match her engagement ring. I got a really good deal on them too! I even printed out an online coupon that saved me a good chunk of change so as they say, "It's all good."

Any New Years resolutions? I don't believe in them, myself. They're all a crock and solely conversation fodder. Nothing more. Calvin says it perfectly.



"My sentiments exactly!" Smart-alec kid with a College level vocabulary that can't add 4 + 3. Watterson really needs to bring back Calvin & Hobbes. I have all the books. Anyway, I hope everyone has a Happy, safe and sober New Years! Well, maybe not sober. Just don't drink and drive. Save lives and walk your drunk ass home as we all sing "Auld Lang Syne" in perfect harmony. Speaking of perfect harmony, does anyone remember this Christmas commercial?

Don't be a dick. I used to love those shirts.

EDIT: RIP Eartha Kitt 1927-2008. I LOVED her role in Boomerang. For those that don't know, she was Catwoman in the 4th season of the original Batman series.



EDIT II: Anyone have any special New Years plans? I'll probably be doing the Laundry and watching Dick Clark's "Rockin' New Year's Eve" show. It's been a while since I've hung out and partied to ring in the new year. Besides, NOTHING good happens after Midnight.

Santa never looked so cool.

With tomorrow being Christmas, I noticed there are quite a few stores that will be open a good portion of the day. I'm dating myself, but back when I was a lad, there was NOTHING open on Christmas, well, except for 7-11. This meant that if you didn't complete your shopping or Christmas meal preparation, you were S.O.L. on Christmas because back then the ENTIRE city was shut down. The only people working were the Civil Servants; Police, Fireman, etc.. With the economy in the toilet, stores are trying to rake in the cash by being the only ones open for business, but there are more than a few that already have the idea. I noticed that Longs, Lucky (formerly Albertson's) and Food 4 Less will be open in addition to quite a few fast food chains. It's like the sanctity of the Holiday has been compromised and violated. Perhaps I'm too old-fashioned and a traditionalist, but everyone should have Christmas off. Just thinking out loud.





I've narrowed down my gift choices to either getting my lady White Gold Diamond Earrings to match her engagement ring:



OR

A Victoria's Secret Giftcard



I'm having a bit of a tough time choosing between the two. They are both good gifts and women drool over them equally, but the Gift card (to me at least) doesn't show that I put much thought or initiative into it. Any schmoe can pick out a gift card. Coming from someone that you've known and been together with for several years, it almost seems that there was no effort put forth. Personally, I'd LOVE a Best Buy Gift card, but Men and Women are wired differently. Some women might consider a Gift card a lazy, thoughless gift. What would you think?

Ladies, I need your help. Which would you choose? I've asked some women around the office and they all chose the Earrings. I wonder why...



To conclude this blog, I present a TV.com Christmas sonnet...

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the place
No members perusing, it's a flat-out disgrace.
Site traffic decreased and very few cared,
Forums were desolate, forsaken and bare.

Why did this happen? Nobody knew,
until someone unearthed an article and site called Hulu.
CBS wanted change and decided to mimic
The other site's st y le, swagger and gimmick

That faithful day, an event to remember
Things went haywire on the 18th of September
Glitches commenced and functionality ceased
People abandoned the site and traffic decreased

Perusing the site was no longer fun
Posting a blog is like staring into the sun
Gone are days of soothing greys and blues
Frozen since mid-August, the counter for Profile Views

Loyalists were upset, enraged and unruly
Mods issued erroneous TOS'es to make it appear they were doing their duty
In anger, users flamed and were warned, but their plans were upended
When the hammer came down and members suspended

Empty promises were made, and duties circumvent
As a result, traffic was down more than twenty percent.
Boycott organized, results achieved in most cases
but they gave us the finger and laughed in our faces

Nothing was done, our requests were ignored
Instead of repairing the issues, they gave us some more
To hell with this site, I no longer give a crap
I'll celebrate Christmas with a drink in my hand and hottie in my lap



Even though you have to read this in the blinding white
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

If you find me wishing you a MERRY CHRISTMAS offensive, Rafiki has a little gift for you.




***SPOILER***


...and for those of you that have been good...


***SPOILER***


Screw Happy Holidays!! Merry freaking Christmas!!



GO LAKERS!!! BEAT THOSE CELTICS!!!



Chappelle's voice: "KOBE!!"

Ho! Ho! Ho! (Not in reference to any females) Happy Festivus! Come sit on Sylent Claus' lap (ONLY in refernce to females) and tell me what you want for Christmas.



Ho! Ho! Uh-Ooooh! I think Sylent Claus is coming to town early. I wonder if that's how Egg Nog is really made.



Well? What DO you want for Christmas? WITHIN REASON, of course.

What would I want? Hmm...



Hey, that's within reason! Wrap her up in a tiny red and green plaid schoolgirl skirt, put two red ribbons around her pretty little ankles, have her entire existence devoted to pleasing me and I would never ask for anything ever again. Oh, the things I would do to her...





I would lift up her skirt to reveal a sign that reads:



"OR UNLESS your name is Sylent." Actually, I would like the Lakers to stomp the Celtics for Christmas.



It looks to be the game of the year with the two best teams in the league facing off on Christmas Day. At this rate, the C's (23-2) would probably destroy the Lake show (21-3) because they don't play any defense. It seems that they would rather outscore their opponents than lock them down. Plus, they're more soft than a Foster's Freeze Ice Cream on a hot, Summer day. Hopefully, Phillip can get that squad to D-up... and we can't forget about the Heat. They might sneak up on us like the Sacramento Queens.

At any rate, what do you REALLY want this Christmas? Is there something special you're expecting? Diamond Ring? Stereo system? Blu-Ray player? New Car? Also, what do women want for Christmas? Ladies, I need your help! I asked my lady what she wanted for Christmas and in typical fashion, she said, "I don't want anything." Well that helps. If I got her an empty box, she'd certainly be upset. I should get her the PS3 and tell her, "It's all yours and you can use it anytime... when you come over."

I really enjoy this time of season. I dig the Christmas music and the cartoon Christmas specials and since there's no such thing as annoying Christmas carolers in this day and age, I could keep the complaining to a minimum, however, there are a few things that annoy me about the Holidays. I'm not going to go Scrooge McDuck and Bah Humbug the hell out of everyone by saying, "I hate this and I hate that," but there are just a few things that GRIND MY GEARS about the Holidays:



10. It comes earlier every damn year!- Every year, Christmas seems to come earlier and earlier. Back when I was a lad, BEFORE Black Friday even existed, Christmas decorations were put up by Department stores the day before Thanksgiving, but every year it comes sooner. This year, I saw Christmas decorations inside the mall and it wasn't even past Halloween! Pretty soon, the Christmas season will start right after the 4th of July.



9. Discarded Trees after Christmas- Save a tree and buy a fake one! There ought to be a law against tossing your tree onto sidewalk after New Years Day to blow around the neighborhood like a tumbleweed in the desert. Nothing like littering your own neighborhood with broken branches and pine needles that NOBODY is going to clean up. All trees should be chopped down and put into the trash bin and the penalty should be shoving that star or angel up your arse if you don't conform. Oh, if I were King...



8. Mistletoe- What nincompoop came up with this tradition? "You're standing under the Mistletoe! Do you know what that means?" Yeah! It means I get to punch you in the gut for mentioning it. In the office, it's just awkward and tawdry when some jerkhole mentions it when two people are in the vicnity. If it's a hottie, that's another story. "The tradition has changed! Meet me in the parking garage with a bottle of bubbly, chocolate syrup and a bucket of strawberries and I'll show you EXACTLY what it means. Giggity-giggity-goo!



7. Holiday Traffic- Nothing worse than sitting in a parking lot that's supposed to be moving because everyone decided to do something simultaneously... and what do we always say? "What the hell are all these people doing out here NOW?!?"



6. Holiday Crowds- Even worse than sitting in traffic is standing amongst an endless throng of retched humanity. Even worse than that are the people that stand too close to you in line at the check-out counter. Nothing like feeling some stranger breathing on your neck and getting a whiff of their hideous breath because they didn't brush their teeth in haste to rush to the store. It makes you want to ask if they had a cup of piss to go with the doo-doo sandwich they ate since that's how it smells. Back up Beyotch!



5. Secret Santa- I hate this game! Pull a name out of the hat and buy a crappy $10 gift from Dollar tree for a person you know nothing about. It's even worse if you pick someone that you loathe. "I bought you these Goodyear Steel-belted Radial condoms. It might be too late for you, but hopefully you can prevent further jackasses like yourself from being conceived." I have a better idea. How about doing away with Secret Santa, saving your money and buying something for someone you actually care about? Screw Secret Santa and the Reindeer he rode in here on!



4. Fake People- I don't know about you, but I can't stand fake people that use that high-pitched fake voice, especially if it's someone that normally doesn't speak. Because Christmas is near, they get overly friendly and talkative, but as soon as the Holidays are over, they go back to being the same uptight prick They think can make up for 11 Months of being a jerk by being nice for one month. Try being nice the whole year, a-hole! Get the hell out of my face!



3. Isolation- They say Christmas is all about giving however for those that don't have that special someone to give something to, the commercialism singles them out and compounds the loneliness factor ten-fold. Many Moons ago, after an ex of mine BOHICA'ed me and told me to hit the bricks, Christmas time was the absolute worst. Seeing those commercials that had two people sharing intimate gift-giving moments wanted to make me jump off a Bridge screaming, "Why me?!?!" while razor-blading my own jugular on the way down to my impending doom.





2. Commercial Guilt- "Every kiss begins with Kay." Yeah? So does Krap! Nothing like some commercial advertising expensive jewelry to make you feel guilty for not forking over more dough to get someone that special gift. All Holiday commercials do is make you feel that you're not doing enough for the people you care about. Stimulate the economy by purchasing these $1000 earrings that you can't afford. Nevermind that tune-up you need for the rattling car with the "Check Engine" light on. You need to buy crap you don't need with money you don't have.



1. Forgetting the TRUE meaning of Christmas- Christmas is the day Jesus was born and what has it turned into? Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie! Instead of getting religious, I'll let LINUS explain the TRUE meaning of Christmas.



By the way, I earned my 30th TOS warning for this:



It was up for about 30 minutes before it was plucked. They said it was too big yet there were others on the same forum that had larger signtures. "I have a feeling... somebody's watching me... and I have no privacy.." (Rockwell) I guess that's what I get for bad-mouthing Moderators and calling the TV.com Tech people Chimps. Oh well. FIGHT THE POWER!! *Throws up Fist*

If you're good, Rafiki Claus might get you something GOOD for Christmas. Have a nice weekend!

Just when you think it can't get any worse, BOHICA, TV.com users. That stands for Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.

Source: arstechnica.com

December 16, 2008

CBS eyeing Hulu, web video with upcoming TV.com redesign

CBS wants an online presence and community, and a recent series of acquisitions and partnerships show that it's determined to get there. Now CBS is turning its eye to TV.com, and an upcoming redesign is set to take on Hulu-and hopefully succeed where NBC and FOX have so far failed.

TV.com has quite a flourishing community in its current form, with 16 million monthly unique visitors all convening over TV schedules, forums, industry news, video clips, and other content related to nearly 19,000 shows. CNet launched the site in 2005, and TV.com and its community were part of the deal when CBS acquired CNet earlier this year.

Inspired by the explosion of online video this year at venues like Hulu, CBS is said to be working on a major TV.com redesign that will meld a bountiful catalog of full-length content with the site's rich information and community, according to paidContent.org. Hulu's lack of community participation and relevant features has so far crafted its reputation to be "that online video box where you can watch the latest Simpsons episode." CBS hopes that infusing a rich content catalog will entice users to come for the full episodes, stay for the forums, surveys, and in-depth information that the site is already known for.

One challenge for CBS in redesigning TV.com will be to keep the site intuitive and easy to traverse. Right now the site can be confusing to navigate, and part of Hulu's appeal is its utter simplicity and straightforward approach to listing TV shows, episodes, and clips. If the full-length streaming content gets buried underneath other features and content at the new TV.com, CBS could fumble the very consumers its looking to attract with the change.

This TV.com is expected to arrive sometime in January and will be the latest move in CBS' online ventures. It got its feet wet with an acquisition of Wallstrip.com and becoming the first national broadcaster to sign up with Joost. In May 2007, CBS acquired Last.com for $280 million, with CEO Leslie Moonves announcing that it is "a huge step in CBS Corporation's overall strategy of expanding our reach online to transition from a content company into an audience company." If CBS can design an intuitive site and introduce full-length content into its established community, the upcoming TV.com redesign could very well break the proverbial leg. END-

So far, they've failed miserably. I initially had a nice Christmas blog planned along with reaching level 25 here and level 10 on Movietome, but along comes another TV.com glitch in the Matrix to sabotage my plans. Well, what does everyone think about the new changes? I'm convinced that they're trying to make TV.com users run to Hulu by mimicking their design. Hell, I've seen Hulu and at least from the outside, it's user friendly, simple to navigate and all the functions work correctly. It was bad enough that TV.com changed the format from the soothing dark colors to a blinding white, but they've since taken out the remaining blue that made the site tolerable. What's next? Changing the text to yellow on the retinal shock white background? To coincide with the change, they altered the logo from this:



to this:



I don't know about the rest of you, but I long for the days of ocular tolerability. Remember this?

[img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_-S5l57Zf0MM/R4pn821Z7wI/AAAAAAAAAMo/5EOexabRR68/s400/TV.com[/img]

Ah, those were the good ol' days. It's funny that TV.com hasn't even addressed the issues that plagued the site before creating new ones, LET ALONE address the concerns of the loyal users. Instead of repairing the old issues that plagued the site:

- No Smileys in blogs
- ONLY 4-5 blogs shown
- No HTML coding in blogs
- When using HTML coding, it doesn't work properly (Using the paragraph HTML code causes BOLD)
- "Profile Views" Counter frozen since early August

They've added new ones:

- What happened to the Box in the upper right-hand corner?
- How the hell am I supposed to know when I get a Personal Message?
- Why should there be an extra step to access my profile?
- What happened to the condensed drop-down menu for my favorite shows? I now have to scroll ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM of the screen for shows that start with letters M-Z.
- If the cursor accidentally slips off the 'favorite shows' box, it vanishes and forces you to go back to the top to access it again.

This makes me want to use Hulu. Instead of simplifying the site and acquiescing to the loyal users wishes regarding a plethora of issues, TV.com has managed to make it worse. A few months ago, I could have never imagined that it was possible to make the site any worse than it was. Boy, was I wrong? They must have a group of Chimps working on the design. How else could they screw up this badly?



Actually, the Chimps would probably be an improvement.

EDIT: THIS is HULU. Look familiar?