mood: determined

location: bedroom

"if i'm ever to reach any understanding of myself and the things around me, i must learn to stand alone. that's why i can't stay here with you any longer."

-henrik ibsen, a doll's house

051308, 8.50 pm

last night, i slept at around one in the morning. and that's why i find it sucky that i have to wake up four hours later. stupid apostolate. i woke up at 5.30. that's already late. i immediately changed clothes and went straight to school without even taking a bath. am i disgusting or what? i was thinking that what's the point of taking a bath when i'm just going to get dirty during our apostolate? and i still have school in the afternoon. haha, that's my excuse for waking up late. our assembly time is 6.30. no time for bathing.

our apostolate was in lubas watershed. an exciting prospect, at first. trekking through a jungle/forest, oooh, what fun! but not really. there was a strong downpour last night so the trails are muddy and quite slippery. my hatest part was the mosquitoes. they're everywhere! i killed one and the little bastard sucked a lot of my blood. what if i get dengue??? or malaria??? ugh! i'm a very fragile person! don't have much immunity reserved in my body.

you might ask, what are we doing in this watershed, anyway? well, we're suppose to plant lots of trees. i might've enjoyed it if the area was flat. but nooo. i'm like planting on the side of the mountain where the area is very steep. one wrong move and rolling down the mountain, here i come! thank god that didn't happen to me. the apostolate was kind of stupid because we planted over 150 trees in 45 minutes. since we're rushing to plant them all, the trees were not planted properly. and the place where we planted, it can't accomodate 150 trees. what were they thinking??? bryan said that only 10% of it will grow to be a sturdy tree. i would already be surprised if three of them survives. i don't know what we did. we wasted plants. mass murder of pine trees. i'm suppose to be an environmentalist. yeah, right. i'm too prissy to get my hand dirty and plant a friggin' tree!

on our way home, bryan and the others planned on having a block trip or something. yay! i totally agree, because this summer is our last semester together. *tear*. i do hope that we'd all be blockmates again this coming second year. but i highly doubt it. i'm so gonna miss bsn1-3. best block of slu ever!

when i got home, i took a bath, changed clothes, then headed for school again. but first, i need to have some lunch. i ate at mcdo by myself. they're serving huge today. i was unable to finish my meal. i sort of feel like a loser, eating by myself. i'm never gonna do that again. i saw abigail. thank god she didn't see me. i don't want her to see me alone.

strat was a bore. i was too sleepy to concentrate. our group used to have the highest score. it was beaten by one of the two groups who presented today. at least, we're still in second place. but still, it's kinda fun being on top. the power. then, our teacher returned our first quiz. i got a low score but our teacher adjusted the denominator so it became average. oh well, i'll try and do better next time. i sort of don't care about grades anymore. it's not right to revolve your world around numbers. not right, i tell you!

before going home again, i played a bit of poker with some of my blockmates. crud, i'm so gonna miss those moments. sigh. i laughed and cheered. i'm soo happy around them. if only i could make it last forever...and ever.

now reading: a tale of two cities (charles dickens)

now watching: ned's school survival guide

"lord, thank you for the people you chose to guide me in the way of life. amen."

time check: 9.39 pm

signing out, ciao!