Cats. What can you say, they're cute, adorable, and scary as all hell. Don't believe me on the last part? Well, this story should infuse the very fear I have for cats into you, the poor sap -- I mean reader --, and then some. Cutekitten6_18 loves cats, but she's about to learn the same lesson in this horror-hole I call THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

It was a dark and stormy night, but actually it was a pretty calm night, though still somewhat dark. Cutekitten6_18 was on the computer when all of a sudden she saw her door open slightly, apparently on its own. She gets up and carefully creeps towards the door, when something brushes up against her leg; it's her cat, Jessie [whom I just made up] and she says "Silly cat, don't scare me like that!" She begins to pet Jessie, when she hears someone say "Cutekitten, beware!" in a spooky voice, though more of an exaggerated spooky voice that someone speaks in to mock someone who's easily scared. "Who said that?!" she bellowed, when she looks down and sees Jessie's lips move: "Cutekitten, I have dire news. Tonight is Hollowe'en, and the Night of Furry is upon us!" Cutekitten gets up and starts talking to herself, wondering whether her cat is really talking to her, or if she herself had too much catnip. "Cutekitten, you must escape this town! And not just because this is New Jersey, you need to escape now or else the furries will find you!" Cutekitten pulls herself together, begins walking slowly towards Jessie and says "Okay, okay, one thing first: Have you always been capable of talking?" Jessie just nods his head, and Cutekitten takes a deep breath then continues "Okay, secondly, what is the "Night of Furry"? Please tell me it has nothing to do with the internet's definition of 'furry'." "Oh, but it does," explains Jessie, "it is the night that furries search for "The Chosen One," the one who will lead them until the next Hallow's Eve. Last year was that crazy, old cat-lady downtown, but they've decided to go for someone less-crazy after she began subsidizing catnip [SOCIAL COMMENTARY!]." Cutekitten begins to wonder if this is an elaborate hoax, then says "Jeez, this sounds like some idiotic plot only a certain friend of mine would conjur up."

They sneak out of her house at night, and begin walking up the street. Jessie knows that the furries have a sixth sense when it comes to cat-ladies. He has Cutekitten put on dog-scented perfume, then dressed her up as a pomeranian so no furry will notice who she is. Cutekitten whispers "Are you sure they won't recognize me?" "Of course they won't, your disguise if fool-proof!" replies Jessie, when all of a sudden some furries jump out of the bushes in front of them. Furry A says "There she is! She will be our new master!" and Furries B and C begin to chase after Cutekitten. Jessie manages to get into a cat fight with B and C while Cutekitten tries to escape, but she doesn't want to leave her friend behind. She kicks B off of Jessie, and with C distracted, Jessie was able to pin C down and knock him out. Furry A jumped onto Cutekitten and bit her. "YOU ******* SON OF A ******* **** *******" Cutekitten shouts, and throws A into a dumpster, turns it over, and rolls it down the street into a moving car. Jessie goes up to Cutekitten to examine the bite, and says "Oh no! 'It' will begin soon." "'It'? What do you mean by 'it'?!" Cutekitten asks, then Jessie begins to explain the situation. "It's a known fact that furries are also into the Occult. When the person they have chosen as their master declines, they opt to use black magic to try and 'change' their minds. That bite was one of their dark spells, and it will slowly turn you into a human-cat hybrid, altering your brain, and convincing you that furries are normal, non-sociopathic people." "My god, this is horrible!" Cutekitten yells, then she looks down the street and sees more furries coming after her.

"Cutekitten, we haven't much time, you need to find a car or something that can help us get out of her sooner!" Jessie says, as they're running away from the mob of furries. "I don't know what to do, okay? I never really planned for something this idiotic to happen!" Cutekitten says, as she turns around to see how far ahead they are. Not so far apparently, because as soon as she turns around a furry lunges at her! But soon the furry is on the ground, writhing in pain, with scratches all over his/her/its arms. Cutekitten looks down to see that her nails have grown sharper, and are retractable. "Oh no... no no no no no! This can't be happening!" she says, her voice filled with terror. Jessie tries to calm her down: "Don't worry, I know a way that you can break the curse! We must find the last Furry leader, and convince her to be leader again. That or kill her. The rules are kinda fuzzy when it comes to this stuff. Or should I say "The rules are kinda furry"? Hehehe" he sees Cutekitten has that annoying "" face on her, and he says "Sorry" then proceeds to lead her to the crazy, old cat-lady who lives downtown. "I thought they hate this cat-lady. What makes you think they would hire her again?" Cutekitten asks while they're making their way downtown. Jessie explains: "Well, I haven't thought of that [read: the author just realized that plothole], so we're going to have to kill her, I guess. Maybe that will work. Or maybe it'll get us some serious jail time." When they get to the crazy, old cat-lady's house, they see that the door is open. They go inside, quietly, and see that in the living room the furries have boiled the cat-lady and are eating her. "HOLY ****!!!!!!" Cutekitten screams, and the furries begins swarming around her and Jessie. "Well, we're boned," Jessie says as they try and look for a way out, but to no avail. Cutekitten starts getting a tingling feeling, then sees that her hands are turning into paws, she's growing abnormally big ears, and a tail is sprouting from her lower-back. "Well, killing her obviously didn't work," she laments, and she begins to lose hope. Then, darkness starts to envelope her.

Waking up to the cries and purrs of the furries, Cutekitten sees they have put her on a throne made out of mice skulls. "This is just great. Freakin' fantastic," she says rather rudely, and sees that Jessie is being tortured. "You have betrayed us, Jessie," one of the furries says, "you were supposed to initiate her into our club so that we could make her the queen." Cutekitten is astonished to hear this, and yells: "Wait, so you were working for them?!" "They hired me to do it, yes, but I couldn't go through with it! You're such a wonderful woman that I didn't want you to succumb to the evilness that is furrydom! I... I love you, Cutekitten." Cutekitten is -- again -- shocked, and says: "Okay, one: I have a boyfriend. Two: Hell no. Three: Heeeeeeeelll naw. Do you understand these points, or must I repeat them?" "I'm sorry, Cutekitten," Jessie says, quite solemnly, "but I do know a way to save you." "How?" "With this: The Deus Ex Machina!" The furries revel at the site of the DEM, as Jessie somehow breaks free from their torture devise (a mouse-trap, by the way, oh the irony) and begins to wipe out all of the furries. Also, the DEM wipes Cutekitten's mind about this whole ordeal, so she doesn't have mental scars with the rest of her life. Whoo, this DEM does wonders for writers block.

It was a dark and stormy night, but actually... wow, I'm getting deja vu. Anyways, Cutekitten finds herself in her room, but doesn't remember what exactly she was doing. Her boyfriend calls and asks if she wants to go to a Halloween party with him. She accepts, then begins to prepare for the party. They're at the party, when one of her friends says "Wow, Cutekitten! What a great cat costume you have!" She smiles, and says "Uh, costume. Right. Thanks."

***SPOILERS ABOUND*** She still has that black spell on her. How? I don't know, she just does. Deal with it.***SPOILERS ENDED***

What have we learned from this frightening tale? Absolutely nothing, beside the fact that furries are purely Satanical. Really, the only thing frightening was the lousy writing, coupled with the tiresome breaking-of-the-fourth-wall, but I digress. Cutekitten has now been inducted into the twisted Hall of Fame for users with crazy experiences in THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

Oh crap, I forgot to answer those questions:

@Saint: I thought The Hurt Locker was a great war film. The cinematography alone gave it this sort of intensity that I think is being overused nowadays, but it worked really well for this film.

@Samwel: The contract where I had to do that has already expired (i.e. I tore it up and burned the pieces).

@Horgen: No, not really. Well, partly yes, but it has to do more with my rotten luck when it comes to womenz.

@soul: I do have a 360... I just don't play it.

@worthy: Not many, really.

And thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, early or otherwise.

Anyways, onto the second order of business: The following Zakkro Zone stories will based on the following people:

Cutekitten6_18

soulless4now

The_Zoid

and 2ndWonder.

... in no particular order. Well, okay, maybe in the order I just typed. Either way, be warned! For another dazzling tale of stupid plot points and hideous dialogue shall once again reach your mortal eyes. So yeah, whatever. >_>

Checklist:

1. Birthday on the 31st - Yay

2. Fall semester starts August 24th - Boo

3. Played the demo for Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Yay

4. Getting my driver's lisence someday soon - Yay

5. Hungry - Boo

6. Saw Moon and The Hurt Locker in the past two weeks - Double-Yay

7. In love - Yay/Boo/Yay/Boo/Yay/Boo

8. New Zakkro Zone story soon? Maybe? Probably? - Yay?

So yeah, I suck at blogging. >_>

PS: With accordance to the blog title, guess the band that performs the song and you get a cookie. Maybe.

PSS: Leave a question in the comments if you want and I'll answer it in the next blog

PSSS: Yeah, I'm copying Cougarhart61 with this PS stuff.

PSSSS: Where is he, anyways?

Why is it that I beat most of the games I get at 1-5 in the morning? Guess I just don't have a life or something. >.>

Also, whoever can name the band that performs the song I used as the title for my blog first gets a cookie.

That's right. I went to my first concert awhile ago. I've been to concerts before, but this is my first concert concert, if you get what I mean. >.>

Twas two bands: Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction.

Nine Inch Nails was, to say the least, amazing. I found out from my brother's friend that we missed March of the Pigs - one of my favorite songs by them - but there were songs that I was around to hear that made up for it.

I've never really listened to Jane's Addiction, but they put on a hell of show, I might have to start listening to them some more.

Has anyone here lost their music virginity? Which band(s) took it?